Potty Training (#2 Issues)

If she will do it in her pants with no fuss, and makes a big fuss on the potty, she may have fear of the #2 being flushed away....I read that many kids see the BM as part of them, and it scares them to see it go down the pipes! Hopefully, the accidents will become more of a nuisance for her, than she wants to deal with and she will start going on the potty. When she does deposit the BM in the potty, try not flushing until a few minutes later, after she has gone on to be engaged in some other activity. Give her a reward and praise when she does it, but be neutral and ignore all other behavior on her part. It's got to be her choice and her accomplishment (easier said than done!!) Good Luck....I feel for ya!
PS. will she eat fruit?? Veggies are a hard sell for some kids at this age, but just keep putting them out there and not so much of the other stuff (none of them starve!)

While being afraid of "losing a part of yourself" may be the case with some kids, I don't think your daughter's issue is as simple as that. We have the exact same issues with our son. He is on Miralax. When you say a small dosage, how much do you mean? We give him a half capful daily, and if he goes two days without a bm then we up it to a half capful twice daily. We started by taking him to the pediatrician who felt his abdomen and ordered an x-ray. We didn't think that constipation was the real issue because he had been passing soft stool infrequently on his own. We were shocked to see that in the x-ray, there was a grapefruit-sized obstruction of stool just above his rectum, and the entire length of his intestines was full of stool waiting to get out. The soft stool that he would pass on his own was the over-processed stool that made its way past the obstruction. We started him on an adult-sized dose of Miralax for about a week and a half, and believe me, it was messy. We are waiting for his rectum to return to its regular size after having been stretched and desensitized to pressure for so, so long. This is a very long process and we are only in the third month of it. It will take much longer.

Diet has a lot to do with this. You're right, cheese and milk are binding. Yogurt is different, though. If she won't eat vegetables, can you sneak them in until she learns to like them more? There are a few juices that contain vegetables as well, like V-8 Fusion and I think Juicy Juice. I also add pureed winter squash to my spaghetti sauce. It makes the sauce thicker and richer, is undetectable and it adds a lot to the meal health-wise. Keep offering vegetables to her at each meal. The saying about needing 10 to 12 exposures to a food is so true. And if she likes fruit, blueberries have a very high amount of fiber. Make sure she gets the right amount of fiber each day - 8 to 10 grams. We love the Yo-Plus yogurt because the probiotics are great for intestinal health, and it also contains 3 grams of fiber per serving. Our son also loves the SunMaid Raisin Bran Muffins. And, make sure your daughter gets plenty of fluids. Prune juice is great! Finally, does the multi-vitamin contain iron? Iron can be binding as well.

My advice is to seek the help of a pediatrician if you haven't already. We've found that constipation to this degree is serious and very difficult to regulate without the help and advice of a doctor.

Let me know if you have any questions! I have a chart of the fiber content of typical foods for a toddler. I'd be happy to send you the info.

You really need to talk to your doctor.

Mine recommended a teaspoon of Miralax 2/day. But I wouldn't do that unless you called your doctor.

I could have written that email. The miralax helps a lot. I encourage DS to go in his diaper. It's better than not going. He won't do it forever. Worse case, peer pressure will put an end to it.

I offer a bowl of broccoli (DS's favorite) before anything else. If he wants a snack, he gets veggies/fruit. That's it. You don't have to be a cook to eat veggies. A pan on the stove or fresh. You need to model vegetable eating. Both of your bodies will feel better if you start this.

I love my veggies/fruits delivered by Timber Creek. (www.tcforganics.net

My daughter had this problem. I had to give her a half dose of Miralax twice a day and then once a day. Once she was going regularly, it was easier to train her to use the toilet. Our pediatrician tried telling me I'd trained her too early and to put her back in pull-ups. Well, I never really used Pull-ups to begin with, but my daughter thought they were uncomfortable, so I did put them on her when she had an accident until the next time she went in the toilet (then she got to go back to the big girl pants). I think with these constipated kids they just haven't had the opportunity to know what that urge to go feels like and how to handle it. Also, in their pants, they can squat and find a position that makes it easier to go. Sitting down is a difficult way to go #2.

If she likes prune juice, she'll probably like prunes. My daughter likes them; I'd had to limit her intake a bit. :)

My son is also going through the #2 issue....I know boys and girls are different, but here goes...my son had to take Miralax b/c he was not pooping and constipated..what my doctor told me is you have to give them Miralex almost for 2-3 months straight - almost until they have diarrea and forget about hard stools...this might be hard if she's in underwear though...we did this when my son was 2 or so...but it worked...there was such hard stool in there that we needed to do the miralex daily for a good couple of months...this cleaned him out and then he had soft stools again...i would do the miralax b/c your daughter will associate going #2 with the stool being soft and not hurting.
Onto the next issue...actually going...my son actually takes his underwear off and puts on a pull up himself before he had to go #2..he knows enought to know he can't go #2 in his underwear...Isn't that funny? Anyway, I just haven't been pushing him and figured he would go #2 on the potty when he is ready...I even tried having him sit on the potty in his pull up and get used to going that way..it didn't work, but I'm still trying..anyway, last week, he just came to me and told me he had to go #2 so we went to the bathroom and he went...I just gave him lots of praise and the next day he went in the pull up again! So I figure they will go on their own time and am trying not to pressure him and be very positive...bribes don't work with him...he's not interested in them...Goodluck, hope this helps...

Hi,
I feel your pain i went thru the same exact thing. Although the miralax did work for my twins, but I have to play with the dosage. they're on half a dose 8.5grams about 2-3 days a week. before i use to give it to them every day and they would "explode"... but honestly i would rather have them make a mess than scream to try to poop...they were and are tramatize to poop...screaming straining and bleeding. it is horrible. one of my girls also perferred to go in a diaper, but she would hide under the dining room table...so I put her in panies and put the potty in one of those little play tents next to the dining room table. it worked, she has been potty trained since august,the other one refuses and still is in diapers, but if she has a hard stool...she holds it and will resist to sit down. I dont like yelling at her...but sometimes i have to force her to sit so it can come out...we motivate her by giving her an m&m each time she poops. like you i also try giving her and her twin a variety of foods, they drink tons of apple juice and still have problems. some kids are just like that. They've had issues since they were new borns and now at 3 they're gonna start seeing a GI dr. You should really talk to your dr. cuz if your baby is constipated alot she could damage something internally from the straing. The other thing that helps is a little bit of olive oil (1tsp) in her drink, another med is colace and nutrifiber i think thats what its call u can get a drugstore....hope the info helps
good luck

I had one that did that and she would go in her sleep. I finally started giving her yogurt in the morning with a teaspoon of flax seed and a handful of shredded mini wheats. She couldn't hold it. She cried a few times when going, but she got over it in just a few days.

If she would rather go in her pants then you might try either of these two ideas.

1.) When she messes her pants put her in the tub with diaper wipes and a plastic bag. Make her clean herself up and then clean off in the tub. Tell her she made the mess and she has to clean it from now on. Explain that if she goes on the potty you will help her clean her bottom, but if she goes in her pants she has to clean herself.

2.) Take her pants off and let her run around naked. She will either tell you she has to go or you will see her strain or start to go...make her sit on the potty and hold her there, hugging her and reassuring her until she goes. You may need to do this for a few days, but she will realize there is nothing to be afraid of.

Okay i know this may sound strange but it works. We just potty trained my 3yr old and he had the hardest time going #2 so in the morning when i was having my coffee he would always ask for some.One morning i gave and gave him a little bit of coffee in his own cup and within in 20 mins he was running to the toilet ready to go and he hated going #2 anywhere but in a pull up ....I hope that helps

We had problems training #2 without the constipation problem- #2 is just more difficult! Since you are really working through two issues let me offer you these suggestions that have worked for us.

How about letting her help prepare food? Let her stand on a chair next to the counter while you mix things up. I understand you are not a cook, but what about the steaming bags? She could put the veggies in the steaming bag and then when they come out maybe she will want to try them. Also try to offer fruits first so that while she is waiting for breakfast, she eats the fruit. Getting rid of the constipation will help a lot. We dealt with constipation when I would yell at my son for accidents.

In terms of #2- we moved out of pull-up's completely because I don't think they help with potty training. You didn't mention if you were using pull-up's. It sounds like this issue is more around ease and comfort of going on the potty.

Good luck, this can be stressful but she will get it!

Kristen,
It sounds like you are doing all the right things. My only suggestion comes from how we handled number two. My sister had the same problem with her son, so when we had children and it came to potty training, we did the 'good-bye' method. I call it this because every time they went number one or number two, we said bye-bye to it before we flushed. This let them know that it was okay to let it go. Some times, children feel like number two is a part of them falling out or something. So, we treated it the same as number one and let them know it was okay to say bye to it. Plus, number two is just fascinating to them. And don"t worry, they won't say good-bye to it forever. They will stop saying good-bye to it on their own.

I hope this helps, all my best.

After skimming the other responses, I have an addition to the fiber response. I, as an adult, have constipation issues and fiber is the key along with water and veggies. Oatmeal is another suggestion - instead of coffee - sorry - to promote better bowel movements. Raisin bran is a good cereal that kids enjoy as well - esp. the raisins - and it tastes pretty good. As much as she likes the cheese, milk, etc, try to cut back a little. Avoid binding foods like rice, cheese, bread (try wheat instead), etc. With the cereal, she gets the milk, but also, most importantly, she gets the fiber. Another suggestion - broccolie with cheese. Again these types of ideas keeps her happy as well as introducing the fiber she needs. Keep in mind that prune juice is more than likely not to be given on a regular basis. Try alternatives. Hope this helps! Good luck and keep trying.

That is my niece to a tee and I had a similar issue with my daughter. Fiber, fiber, fiber. Along with increased fiber she must drink water. Water her juice down if necessary. I like fiber one granola bars. They have chocolate chips in them and 9 grams of fiber. She should have about 20 grams of fiber a day. I received a stool softner from my docter for my daughter called Glycolax. That helped my daughter a lot. Stool softners are different than laxatives. They make it more comfortable for the child to go. Once you start a fiber regimine it may take a week or so before she is going without pain. It is very hard to watch your child experience that sort of pain especially since you know she can avoid it. So hang tough and load her up with that fiber and water!

Hi K.,
If your daughter is straining to poop chances are there's issues with her ability to properly digest her food. There's a few things you might try. One for sure is getting her to eat more veggies with her meals. The other is food doing some food combining. This aids in digestion. Basically my son is offered veggies at every meal. We do proteins and veggies together and starches and veggies together. Proteins and starches together don't combine well and therefore mess up the digestive system.
So we might have gluten free pancakes for breakfast for example, but he's given two and 4 pieces of veggies (ex; two carrot stx and two pieces of peeled cucumber), when he's done with the pancakes he has to eat the veggies to get more pancakes. If he says he's done I'll say, the way to get off the chair and play is to finish your veggies. This has taken some time and yes heartache and endurance on my part, but it has paid off. Now he eats veggies no problem with every meal and he's much more regular.
Also, I would suggest getting your daugher on a pro-biotic. We use Flora Life Flora Bear for kids. This will help replenish the benefical bacteria that aids in digestion. Americans eat a highly acidic diet (sugar) so these healthy bacterial get wiped away by yeast.
Also Ben's teacher told me when we were dealing with poop issues that he had to get used to going sitting down. He he had always stood up in the past- usually behind a chair- and developemntally had to get used to the change. He goes on the potty now, but he usually wants the potty behind the chair. :) I hope all that helps.
Blessings,
J.

I agree that it will help all around to tackle the constipation first. She doesn't like veggies, but does she like grapes or other fruit? (not bananas!) Popcorn? Any whole grained bread, crackers or cereals? It's great that she likes prune juice, but lots of water will help, too. My son knows now that if he has a hard time, he starts drinking lots of water. If she uses the "big" potty, a step stool is helpful, so she has a firm secure place under her feet and it raises their legs up, closer to a squatting position. Maybe try a sticker chart to chart her progress on getting #2s into the potty with rewards after each sticker, then 2 stickers, then 3, etc. as she seems more confident. Good luck, keep your sense of humor and don't let it hang you up too much because you'll both get past it!

I see so many postings with this issue,and while I do not have an answer I do want to point out,that,as a 2-3 yr old child having ''something'' come out of your body can be a scary thing!esp when you hear things phew thats stinky or whatever,and making a big deal out of it,I think just explaining that this is a good thing to do and not getting all worked up when they don't use the potty would be helpful,anyway thats just mt thoughts,my kids are all grown and I don't recall having problems with potty training,just let them go at thier own pace and not obsessing about it
H.