My son recently turned 2 and is really struggling to go to bed. He has never had a problem laying down and going to sleep on his own but just recently he will cry for awhile and we will need to go in and rub his back to help him go to sleep. Do you think he is feeling separation anxiety when we are leaving the room? He seems very clingy but I don't know if this is normal?
Normal as can be - just wait until he starts having control issues and not going to bed becomes less about you and more about independance! :) You'll be fine...
As the other moms said, this is perfectly normal. My daughter goes in and out of stages where she goes down calmly and easily by herself to times when she "can't sleep" or is sad to be put down for bed (wants to be with us). One thing that really worked for us when she was feeling sad and was getting clingy when I put her down (e.g., Mommy, stay with me...don't go...etc), was to read the story Kissing Hand and then each night I would give her a kissing hand on each hand (and she would give me kissing hands too). I would reinforce how much I loved her and that now is time for me to be with Dadddy, and that if she felt lonely she has her kissing hands. Worked very well.
As he grows he is likely to continue to challenge bedtime, be prepared. I would highly recommend not staying too long by his side when he gets needy and definitely don't put him to sleep by staying next to him, rubbing back to sleep, etc. Of course, stay and snuggle for a while, talk and soothe. But he needs to continue to learn to manage his emotions (with your help) and put himself to sleep/self-soothe, otherwise you're in for a rocky road at bedtimes (in my humble experience). I always kept in mind the fact that you can dictate when a child goes into their room for bedtime, but you can't make them sleep, so when my daughter is saying she's not tired (even if she is rubbing her eyes and yawning) or doesn't want to sleep, I just tell her that she may read a book or play quietly, but at bedtime, she must be in her room for the night. 99% of the time, she'll just "read" one book or play for 10-15 minutes and then I'll find her sleeping in her bed, sometimes with the lights still on.
Hope that helps.
Soooo normal! Just you wait till it turns into an independance and defiance issue.
I know it is hard, but you have to be consistent now before that next stage sets in. Create a bedtime routine and stick to it. If you are going to do the back rub do it every single night as a part of a routine or he will see it as a way to put off going to bed. It took a month or so, but we established a routine of bath, prayer, song, high-five, kisses, and water (a total of about 15 minutes after the bath part). Some people think it's corny, but once that water is drank it is bed. No if's. Both toddlers are into defiance now, but they know nothing will deter from bedtime so they gave up fighting.
Whatever you establish now is how it will be. Period. We have my sweeties son every other weekend and some other times, but he never gets up. His mom commented the other day how he gets up nearly every night at midnight at her place and "has" to give him milk to put him back to sleep. Imagine her shock when she learned he never gets up here. She's now trying to establish the same routine in her house for peace of mind.
Seperation anxiety can set in, but if you establish a routine and help him to understand that this is how things go you will be able to rest easy and he will develop solid sleep routines. Best of luck!
Both of my boys (now 7 & 10) went through that when they were about that age, (and grew out of it) so it seems normal enough to me. It took longer for my younger son to go quietly to bed without extra time with us (well, me), but I didn't mind all that much. He's always been my snuggly mama's boy, and is still super affectionate. I'm starting to see the pre-teen and teen years ahead now, though, so I happily take every hug that I get and am so glad that I spent a lot of snuggle time with my boys when they were little.
With my boys, it turned into just part of their bedtime routine even as they got older that I would lay down next to each of them for a few minutes, rub his back and talk about what we had done that day. Even as they grew out of that needy stage, it was still a nice way to wrap up busy days. I still do it every now and then if I sense that one of them had a bad day or was worried about something but hasn't told me about it yet, and it helps them get it off their chest and relax before trying to go to sleep. I think they find it easier to talk to me with the lights off and in that "safe", familiar setting. My older one isn't a big talker (tough guy and all that), but I will occasionally be talking to him at night and he'll unload about something that was so upsetting to him that he'll start crying about it, and I never would have known otherwise :)
S.,
It's very normal at this age. 2 is usually when kids hit another separation anxiety stage. My daughter is the funniest with this (she'll be 2 in March). She will stare at a person all day, but as soon as they look at her she'll stare off into a space and totally ignore everyone and everything.
Try to accommodate his needs as best you can and wait. he should come out of this soon.
Hope this helps,
Melissa
I think it is normal. I have a 2 year old and she seems to fight bedtime more now then before. Try running off some energy before bed. Chace around the house. Go outside. Whatever to get him worn out. I've also noticed that now if my daughter has a nap during the day she is much harder to get to go to sleep at night. It's a whole lot easier if she doesn't get the nap. I'm not saying stop naps, but watch it. You may need to move the bedtime out a little because he may just not be ready for bed yet.
Hi. My son Logan had the same trouble about the same time. What worked for us was changing his diet. The dairy and wheat he was eating was hard to digest and causing sleep disorders. He also had mood swings later on and excema on his cheeks, upper thighs and upper arms. Are your sons cheeks a little red quite often, especially after he eats? Just please try taking away the dairy and wheat for a few days and see what happens. It only took a few days for my son to sleep through the night. Sugar, food dyes, preservatives, corn, peanuts, soy and laundy softener are a few more culprits. If you do notice a positive change and want to know more I will send you the name of some books and internet links I read to discover this. Good luck.
Best Wishes, T.
My son who just turned 2 in November has also been very clingy in the last month or two. Started crying when we dropped him off at day care which he has NEVER done. I talked to the pediatrician about it and asked if this is a time for separation anxiety and she said that yes, lots of kids this age go through that.
My two year old is also not going to sleep at night. Fortunately, I have a different situation than yours in that he just sings, chats, plays with his animals in bed for up to an hour before falling asleep. My 5 year old did the exact same thing. So I can't help with the crying, but at least know that the not sleeping is not just your son. :)
Good luck!
C.
