10 Month Old Freaks Out When Being Put Down

Updated on February 26, 2010
E.B. asks from Killeen, TX
11 answers

This is totally new. Starting about a week ago anytime my husband or I would put our son down for bedtime he would start crying very upset like. He normally would either already be asleep after his bottle or play around in his crib for 5 minutes and then conk out. Now he will fal asleep in our arms but the moment he feels himself being lowered into the crib or separated from our bodies he will start screaming. He will go tto sleep (bc he is tired) but he used to just roll over and sleep or play quietly. What gives? Have any other moms experienced this? Sometimes also he will get upset through out the day if you put him down after carrying him around. No reason to be upset but he just acts so needy all of a sudden.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

Has he has an ear infection yet? You might want to get into the pediatrician's office to have them take a peak. My daughter often had persistent fluid in her ears and would take some time to develop into an infection. It was never a problem...until it was time to lay down.

Separation anxiety is normal, and they certainly don't come with a manual! I try to rule out physical discomfort and then just roll with the punches.

Some children do require more physical contact. I found it easier (in general) to just give my daughter extra snuggle time rather than try to "train" her. I also used a buckle type mei-tai carrier or a moby wrap at this age. It left my hands free to do what I needed. My daughter quickly learned that if she wanted to be up then it was going to be in the carrier. A 10 month old can quickly get bored by this scenario and will choose to play rather than ride around on mama's back.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

I had a similar issue with my daughter when she was younger (she's 2 now). Basically it's visual shock and betrayal :)
When they fall asleep on you they expect to wake up on you. They wake up feeling disoriented and grumpy when you try to put them down or successfully put them down and they wake up after you do.
As for the waking hours of wanting you to carry him...constantly...it's normal.
My daughter did the same thing. For months. You CANNOT spoil them at this age. Carry him, put him in a place where he can monitor you at all times so he doesn't freak when he can't see you, reassure him and enjoy. All too soon you will WANT to hold him more than he wants you too. Good luck!! Smile, this too shall pass!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Separation anxiety and/or "object permanence" and sometimes both developments are occurring at the same time. Creating a real doozy for a baby. It stars to occur anywhere from about 6 months and up.
Sometimes younger.

Look up "object permanence" online.

Or perhaps he is teething? When babies don't feel well, it can also cause them to be more clingy... and wanting comfort. He's not "needy" but communicating.... its the only way for a baby. They can't talk yet or reason things out like an older child.

All the best,
Susan

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

Very common! Your son is a very smart boy and has started to train you! He wants you to hold him all the time...and has just figured out that if he pitches a fit, you'll stay and hang-out with him. And it's working well for him, isn't it! In a way, this is great developmental news.

You'll need to find a way to work through this -- whether now or later. However, the longer you allow this to go on, the harder it will be on him to break the habit.

If you feel unsure about all the conflicting advice (you can/cannot spoil, breaking habits, etc.) get an opinion from your Pediatrician the next time you take you son in.

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A.T.

answers from Austin on

My little one started doing the same thing at about the same age. We attributed it to separation anxiety. We stuck to our normal bedtime routine (so if you don't have one, now would be a good time to start), and would just have to keep going in his room every few minutes at increasingly lengthy intervals until he fell asleep. Sometime he would cry for an hour or more, but this too was just a phase, and now he's back to falling asleep just as we put him in bed. Oh, and we always make sure we put him in bed awake so as not to interfere with him being able to soothe himself to sleep. Hope this helps, and just like me I'm sure you're tired of hearing this, but...This too shall pass!

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Well kids do go through so many changes the first year or so, it is amazing. I would give it a little bit and see if it passes. I remember being so bewildered by some random thing and then in a couple weeks things would be back on track. If it continues, you may have to look into it more deeply but I think it will probably pass. Mine did that at about 9 months or so and it was so weird but it passed. Then around 15mo he was terrible when I left him anywhere, even like at church where he had been going his whole life. It passed too. We didn't change our life around it and tried to take it in stride and after a bit, it was done. So, I wish you all the best and hope he is out of that phase soon!! OH p.s. is he teething or even starting to get slightly swollen gums? That can make a happy baby really needy and cranky, so you might want to have a look. Best wishes!:)

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K.N.

answers from Houston on

this is normal. as they get older, their sleep patterns change.

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W.W.

answers from Houston on

This can be a sign of gastric reflux. Kids who will not lay down can act like that from the pain of the acid in their esophagus. My son was like this. You can try putting him to sleep in his car seat so he is not laying down. I would even suggest getting some gas drops as this will lessen the burn. If it works then you will need to go to your doctor for something for the reflux. You may even try probiotics. They are reallly good for kids and very good for their digestive system.
Take care.
W.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi E., I think he may be a little spoiled, A 10 month old is usually on the floor playing not being carried around. The crying when you lay him down can be manipulation so you wont put him down. Just be cosistant, and not get him back up. it's so easy to form parenting habits, that most of the time they don't realize it until the habit has become a problem. Nip things in the bud quickly. One mom said you can't spoil them at this age, that is so not true, I've been a mother for 29 years, and that is about as far from the truth as you can get. There is a difference between spoiling a baby/toddler and nurturing. Connie

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I can't believe how many moms on here think that a 10 month old child is actually trying to manipulate their parents. It's like they think babies are born with evil plans to ruin your life by not sleeping. I know there are a lot of conflicting ideas about the cry it out method, but in my opinion (and other experts, I might add) it causes the child to distrust his/her parents and desensitizes parents to their child's cry. Babies cry because they need something whether it's physical or emotional!

I would first try to rule out a physical cause (i.e. ear infection, reflux) and then realize that he has emotional needs too. He may very well be feeling separation anxiety and need a little bit of your extra time and attention to get him to sleep. Don't get frustrated. When he feels secure and see sleep as a pleasant and welcome state to be in, it will all come together. Check out the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantely and William Sears. Also here is a web site that gives you 31 ideas about how to get your child/baby to sleep http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

Good luck! And as you've already heard it will get better!

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