Our children are allowed to read in bed for as long as they want. Their rules are that they have to go to bed when we tell them, and they have to stay in bed unless they have to potty. But they each can take one toy and four books to bed to entertain themselves. I like to read myself to sleep as well, and I can't go to sleep on cue.
A bedtime routine that your daughter can depend on is key. Don't keep trying different things if they aren't working. Do your bedtime routine, tuck your children in, and don't come back for 15 - 20 minutes, even if your daughter cries. After we have established that our children need for nothing (they are not afraid, not thirsty, don't have to potty, etc.), their cries at bedtime were mostly ignored. I would go up to check on them every 15 - 20 minutes so that they don't feel neglected, rub their backs and kiss them, but then leave again with no conversation, even if they cried. I did this technique when the kids were about 15 - 18 months old, which was when I noticed that bedtime became a problem. It is my version of CIO, since I could never just leave my children alone, but there comes a time when paying too much attention teaches the wrong message.
When your daughter figures out that crying doesn't get her what she wants (which is your attention and to delay bedtime) she will stop crying. But it will probably take a few days. Now my children are 3 and 2, and bedtime is not a problem unless something is wrong. In fact, I know when my kids are getting sick because they struggle to go to bed! I hope that helps!
