Zzz MAJOR Sleep Issues Zzzz

If she was eating tons and now is eating less, it may be possible that she is still hungry! Is she still eating the same but just less often? Some babies eat more often than others. Probably soon you'll start solids, and that might help her sleep better. My daughter cried herself to throwing up, so I know what you mean about the hysteria. If you keep things as soothing and calm/quiet as you can when she wakes, and only pick her up if you have to, that should help her stay drowsy. With her very early waking, it could just be how she is... try moving bedtime a little later in 5-10 minute increments to see if you can reprogram her waking time. Good luck!

I'm sure you'll get lots of advice, but it sure is nice to sleep with a baby next to you, and to just relax and change your expectations! Who says 5 month olds are supposed to sleep through the night? It's ok to just trust that the same system that grew her wonderful body inside you, that's evolving her remarkable development so far, can do night-times too!
It's important to come up with solutions that are kind enough to yourself that you don't fall apart, but really, contrary to popular American belief, you don't have to Be In Charge of everything to be a Good Parent! What would happen if you just did what felt right to you? Congratulations for resisting the disrespectful CIO theory. Momma instincts are valuable.

Just know that what you are experiencing isn't major sleep issues....it's acutally quite normal for a lot of us. I too just brought my daughter into the bed with us, and we came to really enjoy the time. I think it is unrealistic to expect a baby to be in your womb for 9 months and then in a crib by itself. We used the co sleeper next to our bed for the first 6 months...that way she wasn't "in" our bed. For some reason, I was struggling with that because of all of the "opinions" of people around us. When I moved her to her crib, she still wasn't sleeping 12 hours through the night. She would wake around 2 or 3 am....and I would just bring her into the bed, feed her, and she would sleep the rest of the morning with us. I actually LOVED what it created.....when she wakes (still to this day over a year later) she calls for us, "mama/dada". She actually TRUSTS that she is heard and listened to. Because when she cries, we listen. My sister has done the CIO method with all three of her children. What ever works for you and your family....but I have noticed a difference between the relationships.
FYI...they have actually done studies that prove that co sleeping parents and babies are far more rested in the morning. I am a believer. They say, to give the baby the benefits of co sleeping, they have to be close enough to "sense" you.....see, hear, feel, smell. Their heart rates slow (in a good way)....there are actual physical and emotional benefits for the baby.
OH, and I found that if I didn't respond to her "feed me" cry at 2 or 3am....she woke up at 5am. But if I simply fed and snuggled her at 3am....she slept with me until at least 7! That was a huge thing for me!
Listen to your instincts. You know what is best for you and your family.

No advice, really, beyond what others have said. Sounds like she is just in the non-sleeping camp of kiddos. I nursed through the night until around 16 months, though. Around 18 months, he spontaneously, without any parental intervention that I noticed, started sleeping longer and longer at night. He's now almost 3. He has a week here and there where he'll wake up at night, but for the most part he sleeps well now. Something I never thought would happen for the first year of his life. So, good luck whatever you do, and you don't have to CIO to have a child who sleeps at night--it will happen when she's developmentally ready.

Considering she is going down between 6-6:30 waking up at 5am sounds like she is doing really well. At that age my son was sleeping for 9-10 hours straight at night so we put him down at 8-8:30 and he got up around 6am. I believe he was taking 2 2-hour naps and 1 1-hour nap. His last nap was at 4-4:30 which was great because I had that time to make dinner. I think maybe you need to add another nap and push her bedtime back. We also fed him really frequently during the day to make sure he got enough calories.

As for getting her back to sleep, we use a sound machine in our son's room. I think it helps block out the random noises that might wake them up and also provides a familiar presence if they wake up in the middle of the night so that they are able to re-settle themselves and fall back to sleep. Maybe your daughter is getting scared when she wakes up in the silent dark room and is not able to re-settle herself and fall back to sleep. If you turn the sound machine on as you are going through your bedtime routine (bottle, story, rocking, etc) then she can associate the noise with the comfort of being with you and maybe it will help her not wake up all the way.

You might also check her gums to see if she is teething. My son got his first tooth around 5 months and that can make it hard to sleep. If that is the case I would give her a dose of children's tylenol before bed. I know this is a controversial subject but we used Tylenol to ease the teething pain (especially at night even if you use other pain control methods during the day) and it hasn't seemed to hurt my son who is now 20 months and has all of his teeth. Good luck!

Why are you trying not to feed her at night? Is she breast fed or bottle? Just because she went a few nights without needing to eat doesn't mean she's done with night feeding forever. At five months she'll go through periods of time when she needs more food & comfort than others. My advice would be to do whatever necessary for everyone to get as much sleep as possible. Feed her if she is crying and nothing else works, bring her in your bed if need be. That may be the only way to get her back down peacefully. Babies change constantly, the most important thing I've learned as a Mom is be ready for anything. Just as soon as you think you have it figured out they change up on you and you have to figure it out again!

Hi J.,
I HIGHLY recommend you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for age appropriate sleep needs and schedules. It's great because it is broken down into age groups so you don't have to read the whole book at once! It sounds like you are doing great with the early bedtime. I think my daughter was napping at least 2 times a day and going to bed around 6pm with a 6:30-7am wake up. I didn't breast feed for longer than a few months and was supplementing with formula from the beginning. Dr. Weissbluth encourages 1-2 night feedings until 9 months, as long as she goes back to sleep right away. If you have questions about Dr. Weissbluth's book, email me!
Sincerely,
L.

PS I have let my daughter CIO as she was older and she has still turned into a VERY secure 3 1/2 yr old who has no problems leaving me.

The book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems is a fabulous resource for all kinds of sleep and eating issues. My youngest is now 3 and I'm having a hard time remembering what we did, but I know we used that book for these kinds of issues. Many times switching to 4 hour feeding and sleeping schedule (per the book) can make a world of difference. We also found that sitting next to the crib with a hand through the rails on the baby worked best to get ours back to sleep. Then we'd use more of a Supernanny approach of just sitting or laying next to the crib and gradually moving farther away and/or staying less time. Maybe while she's awake you can help her learn how to roll over so she can roll to her tummy herself?
Best of luck whatever you try,
C.

Every child is different. There are different methods to address this and time is also a factor in my opinion. I tried to co-sleep with a co-sleeper attached to my side of the bed, but neither one of us got sleep. My son would wake up within 20 minutes of sleeping and would cry and cry. I then couldn't fall asleep knowing he was going to wake up so what was the point of trying. At two months, I put him in his crib and slept in a bed that was in the same room. It made a huge difference to not be right next to him and he started sleeping in longer stretches. Things slowly got better as he grew out of his colic and developed more and more. I tried the suggested strategies in the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. A friend suggested it when I finally decided I needed to do more for all of us to get more solid sleep. While he slept in longer stretches, he still woke up at different hours in the middle of the night and I thought I was losing my mind. I tried to do the CIO at 7 months, but it just didn't work then. I waited until 8 1/2 months and it worked very easily. It did not take long and it was not the nightmare some have experienced. As a side note, my son was colicky and that may have contributed to why it didn't work sooner. Also, I firmly believe babies get conditioned and expect you to behave consistently whether you respond to every whimper or not. My son did not cry for more than 7 minutes the first night which at the time seemed like an eternity, BUT then it got less and less and by the third night the cry turned into a whimper and it stopped almost as soon as I shut his door. It felt so miraculous to get a full night's sleep and it continues to this day at the age of 22 months. All the best to you and everyone getting a good night's sleep soon.

I believe you are putting her to bed far to early to expect her to sleep more than 12 hours. Give her cereal before bed and put her down. Understand that you probaly couldn't sleep that long night after night. If you make the habit of putting her in you bed everytime now it could srew up her naps as well. You are trading sleep noe for the sleep and big fight of getting her out of your bed lster. Welcome to parenthood the lack of sleep occupation.

J.,

I think she might really be hungry. I had BIG babies, and even my big babies could not go that long without feeding, and they were bottle fed which seems to stick longer. I would put my babies down for bed around 8:30 0r 9pm , right after the final feeding, and they would sleep till 6 or 7am. There were a few times times they would wake,and NOT go back to sleep. in that case I would change the diaper first, then give half the normal feeding amount and put them back to bed. Slowly trying to wean them back off the nighttime feeding with smaller amounts of food over the course of a few days because they would usually wake again the following night.

I would say, you might be able to get her sleeping a good solid night through, if you fed her at 6:30 but then kept her up, perhaps her bath etc, and a final feeding and to bed around 8:30 or 9pm. I think she needs an extra feeding and doing it in the evening worked for my three babies.( By the way my babies would get their final nap around 4-5:30. So make sure you give her an extra lil nap in the early evening so she's not up for an extra long 3-5 hours stretch which would really mess up her sleeping scedule and make her more likely to be wakeful.

Hi J.:

I don't have any specific suggestions for the "getting her back to sleep staying asleep part" (we co-sleep which usually solves both issues for our daughter) but I did want to offer that the early bird wake up time will probably change over time. Our eldest went through phases where she'd be up at 5:00 and ready for the day, but then mercifully she would eventually sleep longer. When your daughter gets a little older she may be able to occupy herself for a little while... hang in there, it does get better.

I put up with rocking my baby to sleep (sometimes for an hour or more) much longer than I should have because, like yours, my little girl would get hysterical pretty quickly and I thought she'd never get to sleep that way. I was wrong! Out of desperation I tried a modified sleep training method from Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell. I rocked her like usual until she was ALMOST asleep, then put her down. She'd wake up immediately and scream, but I'd let her be for 5 minutes, then repeat, and let her cry again for a little longer, and then repeat and get her all the way to sleep before I put her down. Then I started letting her cry a little longer each time. She started going to sleep on her own in less than a week with only 10 min or less of crying! Then I gradually started putting her down more and more awake. It was a longer process than CIO, but it worked well for us. Good luck!

I really enjoyed how Brenda responded , how comforting. When I read your question I remembered how my first daughter had trouble sleeping. Up till 4 months we struggled with getting her in her crib. Finally we relized that she just needed to be with us. Good sleeping ever after. Well aside from getting kicked a bit because she was a reatless sleeper. She just came into this world needing to be close at all times. I wish I would have figured it out sooner. I had to laugh when at the very end you mentioned your babies age ,5 months, I thought we were talking about a older baby. I have a 4 month old myself . I don't have any idea when she'll stop nursing at night . I just kinda let it happen. It dose on it's own usually. She only nurses 2 times at night and never stays awake. She is right there next to us ,she never even crys just stirs a little and it wakes me to feed her. She pretty much sleeps through the night. After my first daughter I just brought all our babies to bed with us right from day one. We've never had a sleepless night since. Best wishes

Hi J., First off.....#@(&*@(#&$^@P(! I so understand what your saying. Im so frustrated with my 7month old little boy as he never sleeps through the night never has since birth. I might be expecting too much from him since his older brother was in his crib at 7 weeks sleeping through the night from 7:30pm -7am. I don't believe in co sleeping unless he is sick, etc. He is 3 and is still a great sleeper. Never wakes up unless he has a a cold, bad dream or now potty. Im ripping my hair out with baby #2. Ive finally got him on a nap schedule which seems to help at night more. We found at at 4 months old he has acid reflex and since going on medication he is night and day which explained all the window shattering yelling at 3am, 4am, 5am etc and eating every hour half 2 hours. Since he was 3.5months he was rolling over and to this day still only wants to sleep on his tummy which Im not concerned about. He is trying to walk now and wants to stand up in his crib instead of sleeping but gets upset that he is in there. What I started doing was giving him a ceral bottle at the last feeding which is 11-12am and at 3 or 4 he will get up sometimes yelling/fussing. He also has lots of teethign coming in. I will change him in his crib rub his back and if he is still crying let him cry it out. 98% of the time he will put himself back to sleep. I realized he has been use to getting up at certain hours from the pattern he was on as a newborn with his heartburn pain so im still having to break the habit of him waking up form that. At least my older son is now sleeping through his little brother's cries where as before he would get up the second he heard baby brother yelling. Fun having 2 of them yelling at the crack of stupid. I try to tell myself, this too shall pass" and try to enjoy these hard times as you will nevedr get these mompents back with them being little. Hang in there. I try hard to make sure my baby eats all day and night time is for sleeping.

Good luck. Sorry I don't have much advice. Im lost like you. drinking a glass of wine at night helps me sooth myself. LOL

SAHM/zombie 40yrs old with 2 super active funny boys. 3yrs and 7months. I love being a mommy and try to remind myself there are so many out there that can't have child or the one mother on oprah that lost her arms and legs after giving birth and has such a positive outlook on life and takes care of her 2 children. All you mom's pat yourself on the back.