My 2-year-old son has started screaming when he doesnt get what he wants or is told 'NO'. I have been putting him stright into time-out when he does it, but sometimes I am elsewhere or on my way out the door with him, so I can't say I am able to put him into time-out each and every time. I don't like feeling like I am having to discipline him so often. I know he is testing boundaries, but it is so irritating. Sometimes it is all I can do not to match his temper.
We're trying 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas Phelan
Here's the website too to help explain a little more about it.
http://www.parentmagic.com/
Good luck and don't let the fits get the best of you.
I know this is not what you want to hear, but as a mother of 4 boys I can assure you this is only the beginning. Men were created to lead and boys will try until they are actually old enough to do it.:>)
My advice to you is Win! Yes, this testing time will pass, but it WILL be followed by many others and you must be strong enough to stay the course! Your son will be bigger than you one day and he must be taught to respect and obey you at a young age. My oldest is 13 now. We have had many issues(minor compared to most) and I shudder to think what it would be like had we not stuck to our guns when he was little!It's not as important WHAT you do but that you DO something. You have to be consistant! I cannot emphasize that enough.
I promise it will be exausting at times BUT SO WORTH IT! One day your little baby boy will become a young man. And IF you can be consistant there's a good chance he'll be a responsible, self-controlled young man.His wife will thank you ,so will society. There are not enough parents out there raising men (most think they are raising boys--if you can appreciate the difference)Blessings to you and you family as you fight this "good fight". I pray you will not "grow weary in well doing"! You can do it!
Hi S.,
My son will be 3 on Saturday and he began this type of behavior when he was about 18 months. We've mostly eliminated it through time-outs and consistent discipline. We read Happiest Toddler on the Block.
If you are on your way out, just stop and put him in time out. If you are already out, you may need to retreat to your car for a time out in the car seat or return home. My son likes to be out, even for grocery shopping so if we went home because he couldn't behave, he viewed it as serious punishment. Your son will learn that you mean business and as a bonus, your daughter will also learn over time that Mom is serious.
Don't allow your children to get out of control now or you will have no control at all when they get older! It is our jobs as parents to discipline, even if it means that our plans are delayed.
Good luck!
Hi S.,
My son is 2.5 and I'm going through the SAME things (along with separation anxiety)... I am a firm believer of time-outs... If we are out at a store I still put him in a time-out..
IE:
-we were at Target and he had a fit so I brought him to an area where there were not a lot of people and had him stand there facing the wall for 2 minutes...
-We were at the doctors office and he kept yelling for lollipops and I took him out of his stroller (after giving him 1 warning) and put him on a chair in the waiting room facing the wall for 2 minutes...
I'm sure other people appreciate that because he stopped yelling.. It might be a little embarrassing for me but I'm not spanking him and he's learning that he can't pull these things when we're out in public..
One thing I try to do is have "healthy" snacks for him while we're out to entertain/distract him while I'm getting things done..
Good luck, I feel your pain!
S.,
Sounds like you are on the right track with your time outs. Now is the time to put whatever discipline strategies you are going to use into use! (Make sure you and your husband are on the same page!)
Be prepared for about 6 months of this behavior...
My daughter is 3.5 now and I rarely have to resort to time out with her. My son is almost 1.5 and is already starting to throw little fits when he doesn't get what he wants or has things taken away. I've already started one minute time outs with him.
I'm a school teacher and I LOVED what another post wrote about raising well behaved young men vs. boys!
T. B.
there is a show on tv the supper nanny. watch it
her stuff works
Hi S.,
That's tough, but probably more typical than not with a 2 year old. My daughter is 2, also, and while she typically doesn't have screaming fits, she can have extremely stubborn sulking fits. But it's very clear to us that it's attention-seeking behavior.....so we do often go the time-out route, but often we just ignore her. It's a pain, and easier said than done, but after a while she usually realizes that she's not getting the reaction she was looking for, and she'll give up. As long as he's not hurting himself, even leaving the room may be a good idea - as long as you let him know that this behavior is not acceptable, that you're going to the kitchen (or wherever), and when he's ready to calm down and get up off the floor, he can come talk to you. It's hard when you're on your way out the door........it might require you to have to bodily carry him out the door and shove him in his car seat, just calmly tell him that this behavior is not acceptable and that you have to go, and don't give it any more attention. Again, I know it's so much easier said than done......especially when you also have a 7 month old. Yikes!
Hope this helps,
S.
The book "Happiest Toddler on the Block" is fantastic and I recommend giving it a read
You might want to try to find as many times during the day to establish your authority over your 2 year old. Give him a command and expect him to follow it the first time. If he doesn't respond immediately then deliver whatever consequences you use as a parent (time-out, small swat, ???). You could also try using a reward for him following directions. Once he is clear that you are in charge 100% of the time, then the fits should diminish.
Another tactic would be to try and arrange it so that whenever he throws a fit, that he gets exactly the opposite of what he wants.
It is awful, and it's hard to deal with. I've been there, 4 times in fact. And my youngest is 2 1/2 now. The best thing to do is ignore him. Put him in time out if you can. Make sure he's not hurting himself, then just ignore it. It will be hard and sometimes you will get stared at, but you just have to do it. Just continue what you are doing and don't give him a response, as if his fit doesn't affect your business at all. A few times my oldest son threw major fits in Wal-mart. I ignored it despite all the stares. I even walked away to the next aisle. I didn't go any further of course until he caught up, and I could peak around the aisle at him. But he got the point and ran to catch up, and behaved the rest of that trip. My kids tantrums got shorter and less frequent and now they almost never happen. Unfortunately people are going to stare and judge you, just keep in mind that they are not in your shoes and you need the tantrums to stop. Good luck!
My standard reponse: Let me know when you're calmed down and ready to talk about it. Then we'll figure out a way to fix things. Usually that is met with a hand wiping away the tears and a little sniffly voice saying "Im done Mommy"
Hi S.! Well, join the screamers club! I think it is just a totally normal part of a 2 year olds development. For my daughter it comes in phases. When she first started, it was only in public...like in the middle of grocery shopping. For outings, I bring along several stuffed animals (use whatever he likes..toys, etc)..and if she screams, they get put away until she can control herself for a few minutes. The good news is that she is much better now. At home, I use a combo. We do the 1-2-3...which is surprisingly SOOO effective. I will tell her if she doesn't stop...or gets of her chair at dinner, or whatever that she has til 3 until time out. I follow through with it..so she really stops the bad behavior right away (usually). I also use blackmail :) I actually really do. Maybe time out once..but if the behavior continues, she gets things taken away. I might take away markers for the rest of the day...or no Max and Ruby, etc. It hasn't taken long for her to know I mean business. I think if you can really be consistent, when it is your time with him, that it will get nipped in the bud before you know it. I also talk to my daughter about things, and explain why things are a no. I also comfort her, and tell her I know it is hard to not get to do what she wants all the time, and that being 2 is really hard, etc. Sometimes I also reflect on why I am saying no to begin with. Kids their age need some control, so if it doesn't have to be a no(sometimes it is me being lazy or tired), then I really try to not make it a no. I hope any of this helps. Honestly, it is a phase, so don't stress out too much. Kids also do like boundaries, so this is a way he is seeing what they are. Take care!
A. :)
