1St Grader Not Finishing Her Work - Help?

Updated on September 23, 2009
E.R. asks from Millsap, TX
24 answers

Teacher says DD sits at her desk, staring into space, twirling her hair or her pencil. My daughter has trouble sleeping and twirls her hair whenever she's tired. Is this a dawdling or tired problem. I don't know what to do?

Has anyone gone through this before?

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone! The timer is a great idea!

The real cure was more sleep.

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J.M.

answers from Houston on

First of all she may be bored. Is the work challenging enough for her? It is not uncommon for children to day dream instead of doing work if they're not being challenged by it. Also, my daughter went through this in 1st grade and the teacher put a timer on her desk to help her pace herself. It worked beautifully. When my daughter did homework I would time her and we would try to work quicker every night to beat her previous time. Nothing frenzied just work on thinking and writing a little quicker each time.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from San Antonio on

I also recommend using a timer. It works for a lot of children, and I still use it for certain middle school students. Her teacher can use one at school as well to help get her to finish her work there. You can start with timing one row of questions, for example, and work up to timing the whole assignment.

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D.S.

answers from Killeen on

I have a 1st grader that dilly dallys at home. I found that setting a timer helps her speed up and complete jobs. We had issues with making it to school on time last year. I bought her an alarm clock last week. I set it for 6:30 a.m. She is allowed to hit the snooze twice. She can play or lay in bed for this 20 minutes. On the third snooze she must get dressed and start getting hair and teeth brushed. If she lags, I set the timer for 6 minutes to have her complete these tasks. My daughter tends to use the timer as a competition between her and the buzzer. Her reward is her mom not fussing and we start the day happy.

Maybe the timer can help her at school. I hope this helps. Hang in there.

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K.A.

answers from Austin on

If they had Mamasource 25 years ago, I would swear I was reading a post my mom had put up about me. In Kindergarten and first grade that is all I ever heard. "She is so smart but she never finishes anything, she is always the last one done." I had to sit inside every recess to complete work, and I got in trouble all the time for "staring off in to space" Back then, my first grade teacher told my mom all I needed was a good spanking, but my mom took me to a psychologist and it turned out I had ADD, along with some other learning problems.
One thing I have learned over the years is to break down tedious tasks in to small chunks. If something is supposed to take an hour to do, work for 15 or 20 minutes and then take a break. I also took a little egg timer to school. As I was working I would set the timer for however long I was supposed to be given to do the work. I served as a reminder to stay on task, because I could see that I only had 10, or 5 minutes left. I hope that this helps. It is a very frustrating thing to constantly get in trouble for things that you really feel you have no control over. I remember hearing over and over, "your so smart, why aren't you doing better?" After a while you just start doubting everything that you do. Good luck.
K.

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A.

answers from Tallahassee on

yes, to all of the above. My 7yo is super smart, has trouble focusing unless he chooses, dawdles when asked to do something, and stays up late, but manages to succeed in school. It turns out, he hated doing the work 'cuz it was BORING. Knew it already. Tired of doing the same thing over and over. This started in kindergarten. My husband was the same way. See if there is a gifted program at her school and have her tested. She does not have to be Einstein to be gifted, she just has to meet certain criteria in different areas. You may be surprised!

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G.G.

answers from Austin on

While she might be a little young, it's worth a try...I read an article once which said one of the best ways to teach time management without a fight is to set a timer (as others recommended) but once it's set, do not speak a word. Tell her anytime she can accomplish a task before the timer goes off, she will earn 5 minutes towards XYZ (something she LOVES to do). If it isn't accomplished, there is no need to punish. She'll figure it out in time. It also works the other way around. Instead of asking her to get out of the bathtub within 5 minutes, let's say, set the timer for 5 minutes. If she's out when the timer goes off, she can earn an extra 5 minutes in the tub the next night. If not, she doesn't. Obviously, a timer isn't going to work at school but once she learns how to manage her time, it will improve at school as well. Lastly, I wonder myself if she's bored at school. Just try to keep things positive instead of punishing her for dawdling. It's hard though, I know!! I have a serious dawdler myself!

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

The reward chart at school is a good idea!
Try a timer at home that gets set and "dings" at a time that seems appropriate to complete the task. Or music played makes it more fun! Make a game of it!

For example, "we are going to set the timer, or play a song on the CD player, and the room needs to be picked up, (or whatever) before the song ends!"

We had to do this for cleaning up toys when my kids were young. In the midst of clean-up, they would start playing again....and lose focus.

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L.G.

answers from Houston on

On 9/12, Jessica A. posted a request titled "Seeking advice, need help".
She had a similar issue as far as her son not completing his work. You may want to look at her responses.

My dd is the same way, she's in 4th grade and this has been an issue since kindergarten although she doesn't have the sleep issue. She is a major daydreamer. I have to keep on her otherwise she "drifts" off and homework takes forever.

I think many kids are sleep deprived. I know I've always had an earlier bedtime for my dd than any of my neighbors/friend's kids. In first grade, it was 7:30.
First things first, you need to fix the sleep issue.

Go see your pediatrician, there could be plenty of reasons for her trouble sleeping.

You sound intelligent enough that I'm sure you understand there are many stimulants that could interupt her sleep (chocolate, sodas, TV @ bedtime).

Have their been any lifestyle changes? Are you still involved with the ARMY? Could she be worrying about that and possible deployment?

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G.J.

answers from San Antonio on

Take Gwen to a neurologist and have her tested. The staring off into space could be a sign of petit mal seizures. These are pretty benign, but they do have meds for them. It would be one thing to rule out before just calling her a dawdler. People with epilepsy also have sleep problems. They might also test her for sleep apnea.
There are a lot of people with epilepsy in the USA and they are very intelligent people, and 90% of them live normal, productive lives.
Ruling these 2 things out might help.
Lots of luck to you, your hubby & Gwen...

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

Could she possibly have adhd where she has trouble focusing and caming her mind at night to rest? Implement a reward system at home and see if that helpd out. Best of luck to you!

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi E.,

You and your daughter are not alone in this. It can take youngsters awhile to develop all the habits they need for success in school.

Don't rush to have her evaluated yet. Your daughter's teacher has some great ideas to try. The mom's suggestions for home are great - using a timer or a song to get so much work done, taking a brief stretch break and getting back to work. Set some expectations for what happens when she gets home - a healthy snack, some physical play, some cuddling and then on to homework until it is done.

Remember to encourage her that she can learn this. Keep in touch with her teacher. The mom's suggestions that she may be bored with the work is valid and perhaps the teacher can give her work or modify the assignment to challenge her more.

Your child's teacher can be a great resource to determine, after trying lots of ideas, if it is time to have your daughter evaluated. As I always mention in posts, your child's Pediatrician is another great resource.

You are a great advocate for your daughter. Together, you, your daughter and your dds teacher can be a great team.

Good luck,
Parent Coach J. B

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D.A.

answers from San Antonio on

Have you had her tested for ADD or ADHD? My youngest was the same way until she was diagnosed with ADD and put on medication. (I was very much opposed to meds until I saw the difference they made in her). Four of my children are either ADD or ADHD all are extremely bright and do well with meds and terrible without them.
Blessings,
D.

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M.D.

answers from Victoria on

Sounds very familiar, my nephew is very smart, but just couldn't sit down and focus to complete anything. The prognosis was ADHD. He now puts a patch on his side before he goes to school and he is able to concentrate and focus and is now doing great in school! The problem was never how smart he was, it was him actually doing it. It took a couple of years to find the right medicine, but this patch worked best for him. Good luck:)

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

make sure she is eating healthy too. even the occasional sweet treat can really screw up a kids attention span. also send her off to bed eairler. those two basics should help tremendously.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.K.

answers from San Antonio on

I agree with Glenna J. My son was smart but not finishing his work, stared off at nothing, often seemed easily distracted, dawdled, and didn't sleep well. He was like that for years before it was realized that he was having seizures. No one thought to even check for epilepsy until he had a large seizure that sent us rushing to the hospital. It was really a blessing though because he had been misdiagnosed with ADD and was scheduled to start meds the following week. The doctor told me that the meds could have caused serious problems, including death, because the meds for ADD/ADHD affect the brain. Please please do not start your daughter on any meds without seeing a neurologist first.

On the bright side, my son was fine once he was put on the right medication (the first one caused a huge weight gain which is unhealthy so he had to be switched). He started paying attention, completing work, was interested in things, and slept better. On an even happier note, soon after entering puberty he didn't need the meds anymore. The doctor said that sometimes happens with children because of hormone changes and changes in the brain. He's been seizure free for 7 years and med free for almost 3 years.

I don't want to scare you, but honestly the first thing I thought when I read your post was epilepsy. It is worth talking to the doctor about.
Good luck and God Bless.

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R.N.

answers from Houston on

Does her school have a Gifted and Talented program? If so, you may want to have her evaluated. If she is gifted, she may be finding school a bit boring. Perhaps having that to look forward to would make her more excited about school. My ten-year-old is in GT and it has done wonders for her.

And, a suggestion...if you have grown tired of being asked for writing advice, you might want to try leaving your expertise out of your posts. When you advertise it, many will see it as an invitation to seek your advice and guidance. Just a thought!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

E., after looking over your profile, there seems to be a pattern with your daughter. I am not familiar with her health issue, but I am wondering if the lack of sleep is really beginning to affect her life on a more regular basis?

If she has not had a recent full check up, you may want to consider having her eyes and ears tested. Also give her physician an update on her behaviors in school.

I remember my daughter was exhausted after school each day of elementary school. Each day at the end of her school day, she would have a quiet time with a small snack, do her homework, play and then get ready for bed. Then she would really sleep hard till morning. I do not think that she could have made it through a day without proper sleep.

Is there a support group or a specialist that could help you, help your daughter?

Does your daughters teacher know about this health issue? It may be that your daughter needs to learn some coping skills. It may be that she will need to be listed as 504, so that she can be given extra time or special arrangements for when she "spaces out."

Just because she "tests well" does not mean she does not have a learning difference also. These things pop up once children are made to really start school. It is a long day of a rigorous scheduled day. No time for kids to just sit and stare. Also not as much movement. Some kids need to stand while doing their work or lay on their tummies.. But you need to have her evaluated to figure out what is going to work for her.

I am sending you all clarity and strength.

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B.R.

answers from Houston on

Howdy E....Well I guess I am one of the guilty ones who have emailed you about writing, but in my defense I answered your question...:)...or tried to help...I guess some just feel comfortable to ask things like that, but I apologize about that...In answer to this question I think it could be several things I am working on my PhD in school psychology...first i would determine family hx or any past accidents/head trauma, also it could be that she is just not used to doing work and is laxed, i agree with someone who said wait after the teacher comes out with creative things first, also I used to be like her but i was scared to get into trouble at school and i wouldn't slack i would do my work asap they ended up pushing me up a grade, it could be that class is too slow for her but there's not enough info other than you saying her test scores are high, which is still not significant there are children with LD/autism that have high test scores but with discrepancies...all of this being said if you still have a concern after discussions with daughter etc go to your school and ask for a meeting with the school psychologist and or go to NASP online and call one...about to run out the door so i hope this makes sense...take care, BLew

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M.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi E. -- I have a bad habit of answering before I read others' answers, so if this is a repeat I apologize -- but this sounds like ADD to me. My own seven year old has that same deal where you ask her to do something then ten minutes later check up and find her standing looking vacantly into her closet. She just loses the thread. When I read about ADD I learned that this is very characteristic -- one way I found this out is that everyone who has gotten a kid TREATED successfully for ADD immediately says "it's incredible -- we ask her to do something and she goes into her room, does it, and comes back!" I hasten to add that these are parents who treated with nutrition supplements and changes in diet and behavioral reinforcement -- I'm sure there are good stories about meds too but I haven't started looking at those yet! One thing about ADD kids who don't have the H is that they are easier to see as stubborn or manipulative because their behavior is less clearly out of their control -- my husband was just labeled an under-achiever and it really sapped a lot of the joy from his childhood I think. Kids get seen as "day-dreamers," "absent minded" or as kids who stall and "tune out." I'm sure there are other reasons for this -- I believed for the longest time that I had had severe dissociative disorder as a kid, and I probably did dissociate due to some trauma, but ADHD was a major factor making school and life in general feel overwhelmingly difficult for me. Good luck -- a posted schedule, a clear structure of morning priorities, sticker charts, a high protein/complex carb diet and, frankly, lots of follow up and raising my voice to get my kid's attention are all helping my seven year old. Montessori schooling is helping her too, but that has more to do with the "H" I think, because the Montessori focus on learning to work with others and function socially helps her work on self-control and decision-making along with the academic stuff.

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R.C.

answers from Houston on

Good Morning E.,

I know my response may sound weird, but you might want to look at her diet. I suggest that because, my oldest was always getting very sleepy during the day due to what she was having in her lunch. My hubby and I made simple changes such as 100c snacks, Capri Suns {bc they have no HFCS}

The reward system sounds great and maybe you could do the sticker system at home as well, or even try Handipoints.com. Then the other thing is your daughter may just not be motivated when it comes to school work; it just might be too easy for her and she's bored.

Hope I was able to give you some ideas and/or suggestions.

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L.I.

answers from Odessa on

Sorry this is a little late, but I think it is worth your time to check out. The most common reason a child doesn't do their work is because it may be overwhelming to her. Does she spell and read well? If not, watch a free video on the net at www.brightsolutions.us titled "Could it Be Dyslexia?". It only takes 40 mins and could answer many questions. On the website too is information about AD/HD. There is a warning signs check list you can print. If you check more than a few, a great book is Driven to Distraction by Dr. Hallowell.

Good luck. You are doing the right thing by not just brushing this off! Undiagnosed and untreated dyslexia and/or AD/HD leads to life long difficulties.

L. Irvin, M.S., CCC/SLP

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N.K.

answers from Houston on

E.,
The first thing that i would think of would that the class is too easy for her. She isn't getting the challenges that she needs. This does cause boredom.

maybe get her into gifted and talented.

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B.K.

answers from Austin on

Does Gwen get plenty of fresh air, sunshine and exercise? Does she eat a proper diet to provide good nutrition? Does she have a bedtime routine? Can she have a bedtime snack that includes a good source of calcium? Does the routine include bedtime prayers...a time when you might gently discuss the need for her to start and end her schoolwork on time...and include in her prayers a request that God help her at school the next day. Bedtime is often a teachable moment. Dr. Richard Brouse in his book, Build a Better You, suggests Chewable Vita-Cal Plus for anyone who has "Delayed Sleep Syndrome" where people go to sleep late and have a hard time waking in the morning. And, here is one last suggestion that might be fun for you and Gwen both. Write a story book about Gwen. I love to write myself and I am full of ideas but I know you don't need my help with writing. God bless you and Gwen. I was a dreamer myself. I hope everything turns out well very soon.

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J.N.

answers from Houston on

Do they still offer skipping a grade? I don't see what the problem is for her to not finish her work if she tests well. If your daughter was put up to a challenge(more advanced classes), then she would do her work, and probably be happier and more satisfied. My husband was one that never did his work (in math only) and always tested well. I too was one that liked challenges. If you are not against it, see if she can test out of first and go to second or something.

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