Need a Counselor for ODD

Noooooooooooooooooooo! Please give me a call at ###-###-####. There is Soooooooooo much you can do through good nutrition. I am on the Executive Board of the KS Action for Healthy Kids and I would love to talk with you.

Blessings to you,

Rene'

Have you considered having his hearing tested? My son had underdeveloped nerves in his right ear. They thought he was hyperactive but he bothered people because he couldn't hear out of his right ear. It is very common apparently in boys. You have to go to an audiologist to have it done because it has to be more involved than the tone test. He passed that, but he couldn't hear in background noise situations.

Has he been tested for any learning disabilities or learning style testing? You could maybe do some of that kind of testing through Sylvan to see what they see. It is a third party. You could also have him retested for ADHD by a psychologist or psychiatrist. There are alternative methods of treatment if that is what he has besides medication. They are hard work on the parent because they demand you spend a lot of time with them doing different kinds of activities. He just might need more energetic workouts to help him focus. Swimming is a good outlet as are other sports. Good luck with finding the right way to work his issues out.

Hi D., I can honestly say that I have been in your position before and it's such a tough decision to make. But from my personal experience, the medication helped my son wonderfully!! We were all frustrated: teachers, me and my husband, grand parents, everyone was stressed out over this. I was feeling the same as you. I didn't want my son on meds that were not needed. Well, I finally thought I'd give it a try and see what happen. Ohh my gosh!! What a difference it made! I'm talking between night and day difference!! School was better, home life was better, everyone was not yetting at each other. Plus my son felt better because he was able to accomplish what he needed to do. I dont' like to push meds on anyone, but I would say, jsut give it a try. You might be really surprised that what you find out. Keep praying that god will come to you and help you make this decision. If you need a name of a great doctor, I can give you one!

I have a child witah ADHD. Meds help him!!!!! He can focus, do his work and he knows he does better with it. Talk with your PCP. Do a Conner's on him. The school can also do this scale on him. Go with your gut. Also you would not be "caving" in. If your son had diabetes, would you not give him his insuline?

Wow, you've had lots to read, so I'll try to keep this short. One option I'd suggest would be to talk to the school's principal about your concerns. When I was teaching I observed many times how a child might struggle with one class environment and thrive with another. Sometimes if one teacher has a hard time reaching a certain child another teacher might do better. It might be a matter of class discipline, or maybe just temperament and class management style. If a class is well-managed, you shouldn't have to be doing so much of the teaching at home. If you are able, see if you can observe him in class for a little while, just to see if there are environmental factors that are keeping him from working. Switching classes is not always the best option, but sometimes it is. I hope this helps...good luck!

hi D.,i understand exactly what your going thru as i have a 15 year old son.i was stupid back when he was little and in kindergarden and i gave into the teachers request to give him meds and that was the biggest mistake i could have ever done for my son.he was on the from kindergarden all the way up to the end of 6th grade and i chose to take him off them at the end of 6th grade when school got out and THATS the best thing i could have done for him.see once the drs put him on the adhd meds then they decided he needed to be teseted for ODD(oppasitional Defiant Disorder) so then they put him on 2 more meds so he was taking 3 types of meds and his behavior at school was horrid.in 6th grade i was getting a call from the principle everyday.so the end of 6th grade we took him off all meds and he was great.7th grade he got into trouble 3 times and now in 8th grade he has gotten into trouble 4 times and thats only because he thinks he is old enough to say cuss words which by the way we never talk like that or use those words or should i say the word he likes to use at home.so i would have your son tested and see what your choices are but please think long and hard before you let them put him on an y meds ok.

My son is in 3rd grade and it sounds like he is going thru the same as your child. I had taken him to a doctor who referred me to Vista who said that after $1000 they MIGHT be able to tell me if he had ADHD. Luckily I have a cousin who is a doctor who tested my son and then gave us a one month trial of the generic version of Ritalin (I think it was $12)... Anyway, I purposely didn't tell his teacher he was taking it to see if she could tell a difference and within FOUR days, she came up to me and said "WHAT have you done with Haden? Did you bribe him with something?" It has truly been a miracle and a blessing. I know you hate to revert to medicine, but maybe it's what your child needs. Try it for one month and see if it makes a difference. The doctor we are using now is P. Corey Jackson and he is wonderful with kids. I hope this helps!

I'm a mom and a former school nurse for 10 years. Although I entered school nursing totally opposed to medication, I quickly found out that it is necessary for some children. You can talk to your child's pediatrician, but he would be best diagnosed by a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. My primary concern would be to take him to a counselor, psychologist for some behavior modification therapy. Many clinicians recommend this therapy in addition to medication. However, you may find that this therapy is all that your son needs. Also, evaluate your discipline style and see if you need to make changes there. I have a book called "All About ADHD:The Complete Practical Guide for Classroom Teachers" by Linda J. Pfiffner, PHD. You might find some helpful suggestions in there for yourself and for your child's teacher. Don't ever feel like your child's teacher doesn't want to help him. I sure would like to believe that he/she does. It's just that a teacher has so many other students who need him/her too. Good luck!

Hi there, I am new to this site, and have never responded before... but this one hit home a little bit. I have been an elem. school teacher for 9 years, but now stay home w/ my kids. I think very highly of your thoughts to consider getting him tested. Your pediatrician should be able to help you, or just call Children's Mercy Hospital and they will for sure get you in the right place. The testing is very minimal observations/collection of data, I believe. In my opinion, if there is ANYTHING a parent can do to help their child or keep him from struggling, I think we should at least consider it. It is so important that the kids find success SOMETIME.... and if meds help him in school, it will help him for his lifetime really.... I know there are scary myths and things written out there about ADHD and meds, but overall I am sure you want your son to be happy and for you to be able to have a positive relationship with him, especially at the age he is at.

My son, who is in K, too has trouble focusing and seems to be very hyperactive, in my opinion. I have talked w/ his teacher on multiple occassions, have talked w/ the pediatrician on multiple occasions, and neither think that ADHD would even be a possibility. It is relieving to me to hear that, but as his mother, I am carefully watching, as I want to get him help immediately. School is very easy for him and he is very accademically successful, and I would hate for ANYTHING to compromise his happiness as a little guy.....

That's just my two cents.. I hope that helps. I think you are definately on the right track!!! I have seen some MAJOR turn arounds w/ kids in school (as a teacher) that found relief in the meds.... it just helps them to focus, and that is what they need! :)

Best wishes,
K.

D....if I were you, I would try to other possibilities before giving in to any meds.

1. Have his eyesight tested with a really good eye doctor, first. My daughter (now 18) was in the 2nd grade when her teacher told me my daughter was ADD and needed to be on meds. First, NO TEACHER can make that diagnosis! I refused to believe such a thing. My daughter was so smart and quickly learned things...I could not understand why she was having difficulty in school. Turned out, she needed glasses as she could not see the chalkboard!! The school eye screening will not catch very much...take your child to an eye doctor. By the way, my daughter became an A student and has never faltered since.

2. If that is not the issue, try taking out of his diet ALL forms of wheat. I know it is a pain...but what we are feeding ourselves and our children is crazy!! Back in the early 1970's, do you realize that there was one in a million chance that you would give birth to an autistic child?! Now it is one in 150 births. What changed in the 70's to make the autism rate soar so dramatically? I can only give you my theory...our diets. We added artificial sweeteners to just about everything; we also added high fructose corn syrup (try to find bread without it---it CAN be done, but difficult); and, for some odd reason, it appears we as humans have more and more allergies with wheat than ever before.

Sorry to respond with such a long reply...but I wish you the best and wish everyone would go back to a diet like the French eat...pure butter, raw sugar, real cream...they have a long lifespan and so little illness!

Dear D., as my oldest son's psychiatrist told me, "if your child had diabetes, would you withold medication?" If he has ADHD the medication really will make things easier for him in school. My son was diagnosed by a neurologist who said, there is no medical test for ADHD. You try the ritalin and if it works right away, he has ADHD. I gave it to him the first morning (without telling his teacher). She called me at work and said..."I don't know who the child is whose sitting in your son's seat, but may I keep him?" Get another medical opinion, and don't beat yourself up for caving in. The longer this goes on the more likely it will be to affect your son's self esteem long term.

I was in the same boat you were in. Our son was in 4th grade & his teacher was trying to "label" him & I wasn't going to let her do it so we tried other things. Then when he got to 5th grade, he had a different teacher & she approached it alot differently. She herself has a daughter with the ADHD & her husband is also ADHD so she was asking what we had tried & gave us a book to read with our son so he could understand what it was that he had. My husband had ADHD as a child also, I still think he has a little bit of it as an adult, but he says it's under control. Anyway, we put him on Adderall XR & it made such a big difference and believe me I was totally against him being put on meds, but the meds are different now than they used to be. It is only in their system for 12 hours. He was on it a little over a year before we had to change to Vyvanese & it is the same way but doesn't cause him to lose the weight that Adderall was doing. He hopefully won't have to be on medicine all of his life. So putting your child on medicine now may help him develop the skills he needs to. I hope this helps. Good luck!!

W. G

D.-
I strongly belive that children are over diagnosed with ADHD today. I think that you are doing great in taking steps to not cave in to medication. They only thing I can think to tell you is today there are more studies when it comes to ADHD and so if you do decide to try meds please don't feel guilty beccause it obvious you have tried different possibilities. I thhink meds are given out like candy now a days. I hate to sound pessimistic but I think sometimes they want to diganose him so that they are easier to control because they are doped up!! I also have a strong opinon on that the pharmacutecial companines push their meds because of money.
I hope that you can find the answer on what works for your son. And if you try meds it doesn't mean that its a permanent switch!!

D.,
I battled with the idea of putting my 12 year old son on medication for ADHD since he was 2 years old. Yes, at 2, the director of Speech Therapy at KU Med told me my son had ADHD! I refused to put him on meds at such a young age and tried changing his diet and tried stricter discipline. When my son started school, his kindergarten teacher requested testing, he was having such a hard time sitting still in class and was constantly bothering his peers with all the noise he made. His father, who I divorced years ago, and I fought about whether or not to out him on meds. By fourth grade, he really didn't have any friends at school and spent most of his school day in the Learning Center. He would come home crying because his peers were being so mean to him and he was so much farther behind his peers, I seriously thought he had some sort of major disability!! I took him to a psychiatrist when he started fifth grade and he was officially diagnosed with ADHD. He started Adderall and in the last year and a half, he has completely changed!!! He has gone from a third grade reading level to a sixth grade reading level. He is only in the Learning Center for Language Arts/Spelling. He does have a Para in some of his classes but he is almost completely caught up with his peers. He has some very good friends and the most amazing part of it all is that he is able to do his homework without any assistance from me. (I used to have to sit next to him and basically answer the questions for him.) The difference for us is absolutely AMAZING! If you want to have your child tested, you need to take him to a psychiatrist who deals with children. They should give you some questionnaires for his teachers to complete and one for you to complete. If you decide to medicate your son, please know you might have to change medications andor doses until you find one that's right for your child. I hope my experience helps you decide what you should do for your family! For us, it’s like day and night and I am so glad I decided to put my son on medicine!

Hi D.. I didn't read all the other responses, but in case no one else mentioned it, have you looked closely at his diet? Sugar and additives, preservatives and chemicals can have a certain effect on some children that looks like adhd. I would try to eliminate all sugar, processed, and packaged foods for a week or two and see if his behavior improves. Some kids just react this way to things that are not really food (like additives, preservatives, and artificial color and flavorings). A great book to read is "If It's Not Food, Don't Eat It" by Kelly Hayford C.N.C. And, by no sugar, that also means no white bread. Most people don't realize that white bread is so refined that the body absorbs it so quickly that it acts like sugar when digested. Try to stick to whole foods like fruits and veggies, and whole grain bread. This would be especially important at breakfast. I know that if he's not used to eating thise kinds of foods, it may be a struggle, but I'm sure if you explained why to him in terms he can understand, it might help. It's definitely worth a try before meds. I'm not saying that he doesn't need meds, but most kids have much improved behavior with a diet free of "fake foods."

I'm a 34 yr old father of 4 my oldest is 17 ,then 14 ,10, 7 my 17,14 were a.d.h.d & a.d.d and the doctors had them on Ridlin. And it worked but we did some research and found out that it is an emphedamine and we didn't like that so we did more research and found Stratera it is all natural herbs its better for them . So if it comes down to it ask them about Stratera hope i coud help you and and the health of your family sincerly C.

Please don't think of this as "Caving in." If your child had a broken leg, would you ask him to run a footrace? IF he has ADHD, that is kind of what you are doing when you ask him to focus and work well in the classroom without some help. You should have him evaluated by a qualified physician and follow his/her advice. I am a former teacher and a grandparent. I've seen children struggle in school until they ultimately fail because their parents said, "I will never put my child on meds." Meds should never be a first resort; they should never be looked upon as something negative when they are truly needed. From this old teacher and grandma's point of view, this is a form of child abuse.

D. M. Before you give in to medicating your son,
(with all the terrible side effects meds can have), you really need to hear about Reliv! Reliv is a nutrition company based in St. Louis MO. I am a distributor and we have wonderful products for both adults and children. I have personally talked to many moms who have seen remarkable results with their children who have conditions like add, adhd, bi-polar,autism, etc. The products provide optimal nutrition and our kid's products include several nutrients specific to good brain growth and function. You would be amazed to hear these parents' stories. I can connect you with these other moms so that you can hear for yourself. I am a mother of 5 and a grandmother 5, and my grandkids take the products and love them. Contact me if you would like to hear more.
C. D.

I have a child with ADD who is now 20. He has been on medication for years. His teachers from preschool on would tell me that he just got "too excited". When IQ tested, he was one point from Mensa, so he is intelligent, even gifted, but terribly disorganized. This did not improve with age.
Our process:
1. Go to your pediatrician and discuss the issue.
2. Pediatrician sets up an appointment with a psychologist. Testing is done, and the psychologist will counsel you about your options after the testing is complete.
3. We were then refered to a pediatric neurologist, who has managed his medication ever since. We see him every 6 months, but can call anytime for adjustment.
4. I kept a chart to monitor his behaviors; number of outbursts, grades, compulsive behaviors, organization, socialization, etc., so I could intelligently confer with the neurologist about the effectiveness of his medications, because this is something that you will occasionally tweak .
My advice is to get some help and set a strict study schedule that does not vary. He needs to be organized because he can not organize himself right now. Participate as an aide, or get him into Scouting; you can still help mold his behavior, but with an IEP at school you can get some outside help.
I just re-read your posting; you need to have him tested by an outside agency other than the school. I was a teacher for 30 years. Sometimes school districts do not want to pay for special services for another child, so have him tested independently of the school. If you get a diagnosis the school MUST help you. The other thing I want to mention is that I also felt like I was "caving in" to pressure from my husband, friend, family, school... Forget what you think your child is and accept what you have. It is nearly impossible, but try to look at him impassively, as though he were someone else's child. You must learn to deal with the child you have; not the ideal child you know is in there somewhere. At 20 our son still struggles, but he has a fun personality and we miss him when he is away at school, even though he can still drive us crazy if he is here for too long!! (One more hint; limit his computer gaming, it can take over his life)

D.,

I have a 8 children. We home school. My 7 yr old son could easily be diagnosed with ADHD. He is fidgety, forgetful, can have trouble finishing his work, and in some situations has trouble focusing.

But again, we home school. The main "problem" (which isn't really a problem at all) is he is a boy. Your request described a young boy, boys were never meant to sit still at a desk for hours on end.

He doesn't need to be medicated, he doesn't need a psychologist, he just needs lots more time to run around and do boy things. My sons do their school work with no problems, but they get to get up when they need to. They spend lots of time outside. They get the exercise they need so focusing on school work isn't usually a issue since they are not forced to do it in 4 hour stretches.

I would HIGHLY recommend home schooling! Children do NOT need drugs!

hth
J.

I have two older children who were treated for ADHD and it did NOT help. I now have an autistic child and was told to medicate him. I didn't do it and my child is recovering. I cannot stress my beliefs enough to other parents because of my experience. I'm not a doctor or expert just a MOM with results. PLEASE try to treat the body before medicating the symptoms. It is absolutely unbelievable what food allergies and everyday chemicals can do to our children's bodies. Casein and gluten intolerence are much more prevalent than we realize! 1 in 133 adults are learning they have gluten intolerance! Oh yes we all grew up on milk and wheat products but guess what? It is all different now and we have added a tremendously large number of shots to our childrens lives as well. Those shots contain what? live viruses? metals? things that weaken immune systems. Watch and see if your child reacts to certain things. Food allergens can have up to a three day delayed reaction so food diaries help. Some known behavior triggers are foods such as corn, peanuts, gluten and soy. Visit an allergy clinic before you medicate.

D.,

i think people are way to quick with the diagnosis of adhd. Our son, who is 28 now, was diagnosed when he was in 4th grade. He went from straight a's to d's and f's with in a year. It was difficult for him to concentrate and finish anything. The doctors put him on ritalin. He was miserable. It made him so sluggish, he lost his appetite, and he wasnt that happy energetic little boy. We found out 6 months later he was depressed so much that he wanted to commit suicide. That was the most frightening thing i have experienced. Thank god he came to us instead of reacting to his feelings. I am not trying to scare you i am just telling you the facts. We took him to a child psychologist and it did wonders. He went on some meds and went back to my happy, intelligent son. We did change schools as well. He was in a parochial school and we transfered him to a public school. He felt like he fit in there, where as at the other school he was shunned because of his problem. We learned that as parents we had to focus on the good in this child not the bad. Be very very supportive and let him know how smart he was and continue to encourage him. I cant tell you if home schooling is the answer or not. I do know that you need to talk to your son and ask him how he is feeling. Let him know that you love him and that he can come to you anytime with a problem. Never, never make him feel unimportant. One last thing. I dont know if you are a religious person or not, but i know that without god he wouldnt be who he is today. Our son went on to being an honor student all through his remainging school years to earning a bachelors degree in bio-chemistry. He is know enrolled in emt school and going on to be a paramedic.
I hope this has encouraged you in some way. Do not give up.

God bless you
brenda

Hi D.
I have a ADHD child. I had my child diagnosed through a hospital in St. Louis, MO who deal with children with learning disabilities. They have a panel of children specialist. They sent me a questionare and I made copies of it and gave one to each person who spent any time with our child. Bus driver, teachers, bible study teacher, sibblings, parents, grandparents, any family member who spends time with the child. When given none of the individuals filling out the form knows that anyone else has the form. No one fills them out together. And if the sibblings need help with the questions you answer on the form as the sibblings answered. You do not sway their answers. Then we took all the forms and sent them to the hospital. They then met and went over the questionairs and in our childs case all the questionairs except one were identical in their answers. Out of all the charteristics of ADHD our child had all but agression (violence of any kind.) They had our childs complete medical records along with all the allergy testing. Our child had a lot of allergies to foods. They called us on the phone and wanted us to bring our child to the hospital for 2 weeks. Alone so they could get their dose of medicine correct. Our doctor thought in our childs case it would make things worse. So we declined to take our child to the hospital. We were given strict orders to not go to anyone except a peds. neurologist to manage the doseage. Which we did. And he had us to not tell the teacher what we were doing. But she had to write a report on our child in the AM around 11. then again at near close of day and she had to send that report home with our child at the end of every day until we told her to stop. Our child was started out on 5mg. of ritilian (ms) in the morning before school and then the nurse gave 5 mg. at lunch. The teacher had no idea of what we were doing. At the 5mg. it actually made our child more hyper all day. So the next morn. we gave 5mg. at lunch 10 mg. was given. So the report came that morn. was very hyper, afternoon was better but still pretty hyper. The next morning. 10 mg. was given and AM report was hyper can't focus at lunch given 10mg. and PM report same as AM. The next morning 10mg. given and AM report was same as day before. Lunch 15mg. given PM report was a little better than AM. Next day 15mg. given morn. & noon. reports same. Next morn. 15 mg. given AM report the same, then lunch 20mg. PM report was perfect was able to focus and able to function. Could spell name, write alphabet and numbers where previoulsy could not. So I called the neurologist and gave them the reports again. I did this each day. So we kept our child on 20 mg. Our child was on the medication only while in school. not in the evening or weekends. Our child would not eat much and did not like the way it made them feel. In High school I had reasearched herbs and nutrition and found an herbal formula that we slowly quit the medicine and fully went with the herbal blend. The teachers thought we increased the medicine. So we were extremely happy! I just wished I had known about it years before.

I worked in the medical field and saw so many parents who brought sometimes up to 3 kids in and sat in the waiting room and no discipline or teaching of any kind were done. They saw the doctor and walked out with 3 scripts of ritilian 5 mg. one for each child. I saw this month after month until I could not take it any more. I asked this doctor who was giving the scripts what they were doing? I told them what I just told you on how my child was diagnosed and how long it took to do it. And how the dosage was determined. I told her, 5mg. made my child more hyper. How can you do this. They answered me with this. It's better to drug the child than see them hurt themselves or the parent hurt them. I said, so drug the parent. Don't drug the child so the parent doesn't have to parent. I was so frustrated with their treatment of these kids. And now we know how misused these medicines are. So don't let someone just push drugs without any structure. Our child is now an adult and there are still some problems, but they have been taught by us to be responsible, and control themselves.

The number one key to success with these little ones is consistantancy & structure, for the rest of their lives. Some children never outgrow it, but can learn to manage it.

And sometimes they just have a mild form of it unlike our child did. Doesn't mean they don't need help. These kids are so often gifted and are ignored. Fight for your child. And I hope you are a stay at home mom, because our child was my full time job for 14 yrs. And I would not change it at all. So many of the kids who have ADHD are behind bars. Ours is a productive citizen and wonderful parent!

You may want to rule out dyslexia or some learning difference before starting meds. Dyslexia does not mean reversing letters--there's much much more to it! I know the feeling of "homeschooling" after a child has been in class all day. A great place to go is the Fundamental Learning Center in Parklane Shopping Center, Wichita. (316.684.READ) Give them a call and just visit with them. They can also screen for ADHD there and give you some advice on where to go and what to do.

I also want to mention that there are some natural alternative meds instead of ritalin and the like. Check out websites for Native Remedies and VAXA. I have used both companies products to help my son (age 12 now)focus and he says he can really tell a difference. He did not notice one company being better than the other though. Good luck to you!

Dear D.,
Children that have difficulty focusing, including those with ADHD are almost always difucient in essential fatty acids. A good quality fish oil can make a real difference. Barlean's lemonade flavored cod liver oil is fresh & tasty.(can get at health food stores) & Nordic naturals also makes a good quality DHA supplemant for kids(purchase on line)A good B-vitamin complex supplement is helpful if he can swallow tablets. Also limiting sugar & carbohydrate intake is important. Best wishes.
Having the diagnosis is not a bad thing. It can help your son get extra help in the school system. Giving medication is always your choice, not mandatory with the diagnosis.
M., (mother of a 17 year old son with the same background)

what is this thought about "caving in"? if your child had cancer you would help him. a lot of adhd children feel as if they are bad because they are always getting into trouble. ritalin is not the only drug out there. you might just find your family is much better off with a diagnosis. you will react differently to his needs and be much happier and have fun time together again. most adhd children are very impulsive. so how can you help him not do drugs, alcohol,sex if he can't control himself. i promise you if you think it is hard now you will not believe how much harder it will get.

R. SAHM of 6 children under 9yrs

when you get meds for that kid, it will be like the heaven's opened up and the sun is shining down on your brilliant (they are always brilliant because they work so hard at keeping track of things in their little ADD minds) child.

Try it. If you don't like it, take him off. but try it. 2 of my 3 kids are ADHD.

The question I have is...is your son getting into trouble when he is not doing his work or does he sit there quietly. My son who is in second grade never disrupted a class and I was always told he was a great child. The only thing that we had a problem with was his school work. Like you I would have to play "catch up" at home. We got him tested for dyslexia/tracking. The doctors said his eye sight was fine. So this year his teacher and I got him tested for special education classes. After the testing we found out that he needed ALOT of help in reading and vocabulary. My son has been in the reading special ed classes for about 2 months and we all can see a huge improvement. Please try other options before medicating him. Good Luck.

If you should decide meds are for you & your family go for it, but please think of the long-term effect for the child and then as an adult. There are many natural alternatives you can try. I was at the same point with my son, against meds, but wondering if this was holding him back. You could have been describing my son. I have decided to try the NAET program, it's a natural alternative & has helped children with autisn, ADHD, and allergies. Hope you find what is right for your family.

hello D., does he go to a private school? the only reason i asked that is i had the same issues with my 3rd grader. he went to a private school, and every teacher from pre-k and up, suggested the same thing...get him tested. after switching from private to public, we have seen a great improvement in him. he has the confidence that he lacked before. trust what your pediatrician says. but ultimately you know as a parent whats best for him. just know the severe side effects of the meds and how hard it can be to get off of them once started. good luck.

Oh boy that's a dilema. My daughter was showing similar signs as your son. She was passing the classes (just barely) and the struggle at home to get her to do homework was incredible. We all knew she could do it, but she didn't. She lacked the confidence she needed to go on. I made the decision to have her held back. Her first grade teacher and I had considered it, but we thought she could handle second grade, and she did , just barely again. I had had enough. I felt so badly for her. My decision to hold her back wasn't an easy one, it came with many wakeful nights. I was held back in second grade for the same lack of confidence to continue on. I remember how it felt to be made fun of and I didn't want her going through that. As it turns out it was the BEST decision I could have made for her. She's more confident, relaxed and is actually enjoying herself this year. I feel she will have the confidence to continue on to third grade next year. Let me stress that I didn't hold my daughter back because she wasn't smart enough. I had her held back because she lacked confidence. How can we keep pushing our children to be successfull if we don't take all the means needed to make sure THEY KNOW they can do it.

I'm not saying have your son held back. I'm just letting you know you are not alone. I have NO experience with ADHD or learning dissabilities, but if he's had the testing and it came out ok, then I would be lead to think that he's a strong willed child. Maybe he just needs constant encouragement from everyone around him.

Have you thought about letting him suffer the consequences of not doing his homework? He is old enough to be able to do these things on his own. It's not being irresponsible. He can't have mom there everday for the rest of his life telling him how to do things and when to do it. He needs some consequences. If he fights and fights about doing the homework, throw in the towel and let him suffer the consequences. You can't continue to fight and fight with him, he'll learn to hate learning and hate school. You don't want that! I have a daughter who is in 6th grade, let me tell you. 6th grade is tough. You'd be doing him an injustice if he doesn't learn good homework habits NOW. He may need to suffer consequences in order to realize that mom is really just trying to help.

Please just take all advice you hear with a grain of salt and do what FEELS right to you. Do what your heart tells you is right. No one is a perfect parent, we just work with and use what we've got to do the best we can. I can promise, I'm a better parent then my parents and my children will be a better parent then I was. It's natural.

{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} Hang in there. This too shall pass.

S.

Homeschool. You'll never regret it. Schools are set up to teach girls, not energetic boys. SW MO is having their homescool convention in April. Even if you decide not to homeschool, you'd find speakers there that have had the same struggles you are having. They could teach you how to best teach your child and maybe even identify his problem (sounds to me like he's bored and a normal boy). Go to shemonline.org for more info on the convention. If your husband could go too that would be great, then you'd both be on the same page.
D.-mom to 9

Hi D.,

I did not want to put my child on meds so before you do, you might want to try what I am trying and it is working to help my son focus and concentrate better.
Have you heard of a nutritional drink called MonaVie?
In Google, type in monaviemoms.com and click on one of the
links listed. It is a forum of moms talking about how MonaVie is helping their kids with ADHD, ADD and other symptoms. This is not medicine, just nutrition. Let me know and I can tell you how to order some to give it a try.
Sincerely,

T.

D....I I didn't know better- I would think you were my daughter talking about my grandson...We are having the same problem...
Melissa's advice is excellent...
who is more capable of diagnosing ADHD! A physician..or a teacher..? Just because OUR teacher..has a child medicated...does not give right to practice medicine. It is good to offer advice but all cases are different. If you doubt you dr. inquire around and find a dr. who specializes with ADHD children. We keep going throught this and 3 doctors say no ADHD..Medication has been tried with stomach aches..and lethergy..
Is your child very intelligent?...maybe he needs more of a challenge..Teachers pass on information from year to year...the next teacher is all ready "Informed" and prejudges..Look at Einstein and others..and if the teacher can't explain what he is doing...?? Can you perhaps make a contract with your son....If you get your work done in class for the week...we will do......for two hours this weekend..
It is very frustrating to have to sit over a child and do homework...but don't let that destroy your relationship and fun time..Let him make the choice...is he active in other sports..activities...how does he do there? What is going on at home besides this...is he worried about things...TV can really set concerns for young people....D....love your son..explain to him your concerns..and perhaps check up some helpful resourses...Blessings

Ok, I'm going to get on a soap box here. I believe, in part, the school system is failing your child. I believe they should look at each individual child and determine what they need to succeed. I'm not saying its not possible that he has it, I'm just saying make sure that the teachers and school are doing everything they can first. For example, why can't the teacher explain what he is doing during the time he should be working?? If its a known problem, why hasn't she investigated what he is doing. Why hasn't she walked by his desk a few times or asked him to show her his progress?? To me this is the first thing she should be doing. Does she say he gets up during work time? Looks out the window when she's talking? Surely she can pick up on some of his behaviors while she's teaching. Does your school have counselors? I'm pretty sure they do. I would have your child seen by one of the school counselors in there to see if there is anything they can do to help motivate him, or even check him for signs of ADHD. They can't do the diagnostic testing but they would be able to pick up on signs.

When you work with him to complete his assignments at home, how do you do it? Do you have to redirect his attention to his work every minute or so? Does he get up and leave the table frequently? Or are you able to get him to buckle down and finish his work since you are there making sure he's working?

You can look at the "symptoms" of ADHD and pretty much every kid displays these symptoms at one time or another. Heck, even I think I have ADHD if I read the symptoms!

There are other things to check for as well. Make sure they check for dyslexia or other learning problems that might be making him less able to concentrate. Dyslexia can make it difficult for him to read and comprehend what he's reading. This could make him less able to finish his generic school work. Also, the nutrition aspects that other people talk about are important. Is he getting a good breakfast, taking vitamins etc.

Good luck!

Hi D. i feel your pain i have 2 boys that at the young age your son is at started to show signs of ADD/ADHD. One is now in the 8th grade and for a couple of years doctors had them try all the different meds they had for the ADHD. As of last year i gave up none of the meds helped in fact they had side affects. My other son who is a yr younger than my 8th grader was diagnosed with ADD and he too tried the different meds they had side affects that became to much for us. I mean it would help for a bit but would have sometimes uncomfortable affects for my boys. So as of last year i told them i quit the meds and thank you anyways but i will go back to being the mom who won't medicate her kids what for it didn't help and they would complain of different side affects and i would say lets try something else till there wasn't anything else to try. I am not saying this will happen to your son but i had to tell you of my sons' experience. Have a nice day.

I think you definitely need to get him tested to see what's going on. I have two kids with ADHD. My oldest was really was doing awful at school. I decided that the pediatricians opinion wasn't enough, so I got her tested by a psychologist. Ends up that she also has a learning disability in reading. We saw Dr. Jordan in Overland Park. She was great and had lots of ideas for school and what we could do at home. My daughter is doing so much better now.

I don't think it's right that you're basically homeschooling. Something's wrong with that picture!

Good luck.
L.

I have a 6 year old son who is ADHD.

I still think ADHD is thrown on a lot of kids, who truly do not have it. I think most kids that are labeled as ADHD, just have not been given the chance to see what style of learing is best for them.

My son was always the kid that had to be busy, truly an active boy. Even as a baby, he hated to be in a quiet place, he prefered a noisy, busy enviroment.

When he started Kindergarden, he was already at a 1st grade reading level and could simple adding and substracting w/o help. They tested him as gifted. But we had one big problem, he just couldn't focus on his work, or even stay seated. His teacher gave him work that was at his level. We tried a timer on his desk, to show him how long he had to work. Any group activities where difficult for him. Even though he was a head of his peers, he was falling behind fast.

One day I just sat down with him and really talked to him about it. My son was able to tell me it bothered him that he could not focus, he knew he was different from his friends, and as he put it "I feel like a spring is inside me and I feel bouncy". I could tell it really bothered him.

He was already seeing a therapist for other things, and I talked her, she referred me to a psychologist.

It was confirmed and he started on the lowest dosage of Adderall.
About in a month we found the right dosage for him. I can say what a difference! He is back up to his learing ability.
He comes home happier. The teacher has him helping the other kids with their work, and he loves that.

He's still a kid that has plenty of energy and I really have to make sure he gets unstructure free play where he can burn that off.

I really don't see that I "resorted" to meds, but instead I'm giving him back his ability to do his best.

I would definatley have him tested again and get a for sure answer but either way if he isn't concentrating changing his diet either way will help him tremindously. You need to take out all the perservatives and additives, food dyes in his diet which are all linked to hyperactivity and other issues in kids and adults. If you want a start on changing his diet you can visit my website at www.stacyflynn.mywildtree.com and check out my 100% all natural product line. Goodluck

It is so important to weigh everything. If teachers or doctors believe your son is adhd, then have him tested, but that doesn't mean that he is. Rule it out and get it off your mind or face it and figure out what to do. You'll feel better. I believe in meds for my kids, not for all kids. We are overdiagnosed but I know my boys are true adhd and need the diagnoses and meds. Don't forget that grades are not the only indication of a child doing well or not. How are his relationships? How does he act around other kids? For me, that was one of the most telling areas. My boys seem to be missing the ablility to read social cues and have a hard time keeping relationships. If you find out he is adhd and you would like to try meds, my advice is to find someone who is an expert, and that doesn't mean your pediatrition. They have no skills in knowing what meds to give, they just know what they have given the most and that doesn't mean its right for your son. Find a child psychiatrist who knows adhd and the meds. They would test him and talk with both of you before you even discuss meds. Call your insurance co and ask them for child psychiatrist in your plan and then call and talk to them, ask them about their expertise. It's a place to start. And trust your instincts!! So important. I knew my boys were differnt from the time they were born, and I was so right. When they were three, I knew it was adhd and giftedness and life was going to be tough from here on out. Trust yourself(easier said than done) but you know your son, and your instincts will come into play alot as you try to sift your way through this. Good luck

I'm having a very similiar problem w/ my 3rd grader. He has been tested in the past. Best people to test your child are a pediatric neurologist and a child therapist. He was borderline when I had him tested in 1st grade. We go thru the same homework struggle it takes an hour to do 15 mins of homework because he can't stay focused. If my child had problems continually every year I would consider medication but he has good times and bad and I can't justify medication for that. There is an awesome book you can read I highly suggest it puts everything into perspective and deals with a the feelings that go along w/ ADHD, like I'm a bad parent etc. Because you are not. The book is called Healing ADD by Daniel Amen, MD. It even has a questionare to take and give to other people who interact often with your child to get a better idea of what kind/severity of your childs symptoms.

Hope I helped!

My daughter is 4 (adopted/meth exposed) and we have been going thru all the testing. At our last appt (dec) it was confirmed and our appointment is tomorrow to get medications. I was desperate. I do not want to give her meds. My best friend has a son with Asperger's and has seen phenomenal results with a nutritional drink called LIMU. I did ALOT of research and couldn't find anything negative so I tried it with my daughter.

The results have been amazing. She is much calmer and more focused. I think she has actually become a "normal" 4 year old--even her allergies are gone. I can't wait to see what Children's Mercy has to say at our appointment tomorrow!!! It is pricey, but worth it! I love that I do not have to put her on meds!

Check it out for yourself: www.easylimu.com

ADHD meds have lots of consequences. I would look into all the natural options I could find first, especially diet. Homeschooling can be a wonderful solution for children who have the ability but are not succeeding in a traditional classroom. An excellent book is So You're Thinking About Homeschooling by Lisa Welchel. It is a fast read and gives you an overview of many different styles of homeschooling. It made me feel that I don't have to conform to someone else's ideas and just choose what is right for my children.

Have you considered checking for food allergies? My son was having problems & we researched RED40, which is in many foods & vitamins we give our kids. Some kids have severe ADHD type reactions when consuming RED40 & after we cut it out of his diet, he calmed down. CK online for ADHD symptoms & kids. Also, look into how much TV he watches. More than 10 hrs per week of TV can cause 1 in 10 kids to develop ADHD by the age of 7. Good luck!

D., I would say get him tested. My son went through the same issues, but no one ever told me that he could have ADHD. I thought that he was just not trying,did not care and we would try to discipline but that did not work. If I would have known back when he was in the 1st grade I would have less stress. During his freshman year (second semester) there was an incident at school the resulted in a 90 day suspension. During this time is when the school district wanted to test him. After I received the results I was shocked because it never occurred to me for him to have ADHD. He had to repeat some of his classes which pushed him back a year in school. He is now on meds and doing extremely well. He is currently in the 10th grade. He is still a teenager but the focus in school is totally better.

He is currently taking Addrell XR 25mg. He takes it in the AM and it last till about 3-4pm. Which gives him ample time to complete homework. I did not want a med that would become addictive. He has no problem taking it because he sees the benefit.

Dear D.,

I had two boys - they are now 26 and 30yr old and have children of their own.

My second one, Mark was ADHD. he also had a hearing loss from repeated ear infections, which created a lack of being able to pronouce words. So, he had to go to speach therapy.

When he was in first grade - I had a teacher tell me the same thing about getting him tested - so, we did and we did put him on Ritalin. Had I known what I know today - I don't think I would have ever done that. If this is your decision - please find out what the side effects of the drug of choice are. Besides antibiotics, Ritalin is over-prescribed and has some very undesirable side effects.

Be assured I began reading everything I could find. Mark was mature for his age and he would tell me that he didn't like the way he felt when he took the medicine...so I explained to him that there were other things we could try.

We talked about diet and what certain foods i.e., sugar, refined foods, additives/preservatives, artificial colors/flavors could do in the body the problems they could have and that even if I took all those kinds of food away from him - when he was away at school, at a friend's house, etc. he was the only one who could really control what went into his mouth.

As I researched more I also found out how chemical cleaners can effect behavior - so we switched to 'green' cleaners. I actually have some pretty amazing research on toxic chemicals and behavior changes and would be most happy to share more with you. You can go online to this website www.theglobalsuccessteam.net - Click Here to Enter Site...and view the video called "The Toxic Brew" If you don't like what you see here - Watch the 'Healthy Home Plan'.
Some Moms think they are doing something really great by keeping the home spotless - always cleaning with bleach or other toxic cleaners, when infact, they can actually be making it worse by continually spraying the chemicals into the air they breathe and floors they crawl on.

Young children at still developing until about the age of five - so it is super important to minimize/eliminate the toxins in what they eat, drink and breathe. Something I guess I knew but was just recently reminded...pound for pound, children breathe more air, drink more water and eat more food than adults. Hence they are more exposed to air and water pollution and pesticides/chemicals. Their bodies are more rapidly growing and developing, so chemicals that can harm development can do maximum damage at this critical time. Another GREAT website is www.healthychild.org

I can't tell you one thing that was the cause - but I believe that the combination of the refined foods, chemical cleaners and lack of vitamins in even our raw foods, together had a profound effect on his behavior, concentration and learning ability.

I am also a Health and Wellness Advisor, learning alot about how to advise others from my own personal experiences with my children and myself. I was totally disabled in 1994 at the age of 40 and today I have my life back and feel better now at 54 than I did when I was 30.

When Mark understood the importance of eating right and taking his vitamins every day (before this he would try to hide them)- we began to see a real difference. By the time he was going into third grade - we were taking him off the Ritalin, which by the way had not been increased since he started on it even though his weight had increased, we were able to keep the dose down while we were working on the nutrition aspect and ridding the home of the harmful chemicals.

Home schooling is great if you have the schedule and the patience that allows it - another option...In our area we have Sylvan Learning Centers, a tudor business that teaches children, who need special attention (not necessarily slow some are very smart - they just need individual instruction/attention) a one on one presence.

Even though Mark's grades went from Cs and Ds to As, Bs and a C or two - he still had problems writing. When he went to high school and still couldn't write a proper sentence - we looked into Sylvan - it made a huge difference for him. I wished we had done it a lot sooner. He graduated from College with a double major in 5 years as Suma Cum Lade with a 3.89 GPA!! He also had 2 scholarships!

Thank-you for the privildege to do what I have always wanted to do - to share my knowledge and discoveries with a young Mom who really cared and wanted to know how she could make things better for her child and create a healthy environemnt in which they can grow and develope.

Knowledge is power - arm yourself!

S.

www.SERSoltion.com

Hi, I am in total agreement with Mary F! Please do some research into the natural alternatives and his diet. There are so many preservatives and chemicals, like aspertame and MSG, in our diets that can affect your son in this way. It's not an easy task to cut these things out, but well worth it when you weigh it against the side effects of meds. My children have not been in this situation, but I have watched a few nephews on meds. They went from healthy and active, to never wanting to do anything. They will not eat and will hardly visit with anyone at family gatherings. They just go off somewhere away from everyone and do their own thing. They have circles under their eyes and are pale. It's sad! Better to treat the problem than to cover it with meds.

I was searching on the topic of ADHD just the other day and found a center in Overland Park that treats kids w/o medication. I didn't spend too much time there, but maybe it's something you might want to consider. My husband went undiagnosed for until he was THIRTEEN! And you can imagine what kind of childhood he had. It's better to know and help your child, than to let them try to slug it out on their own. Anyway, the website is www.overlandparklearningrx.com.
Check it out. It looks pretty amazing, actually. Good luck!! I know it can't be easy.

Have you considered 'outside' tutoring? Huntington Learning Center in Olathe is great. Torri Wells is the director ###-###-####, it is worth checking into.

DON'T CAVE YET!! I would recommend you seriously consider having him tested for food allergies through muscle testing (not traditional allergy testing). My neice was in the same boat and it ended up being mostly a dairy allergy & multiple mineral deficiencies. She is now able to do cheese but still must stay away from milk. My husband, myself, our son, my parents & my brother & his family all see Dr Jere Mills ###-###-####). He is very family/kids friendly! I would encourage you to try everything natural along with eating whole foods before considering meds. Whole foods meaning do not eat anything that comes in a package that has preservatives. It takes a lot more time and unfortunately $$ but the alternatives are not worth it. Diet tends to be the number 1 cause for ADD & numerous behavior problems along with a huge percentage of adult ADD & health problems. I found out I had dairy, corn & peanut allergies 2 years ago. I had migraines & fibermilagia for 20 years. I am completely pain free 90% of the time now!

D., I know this is sometimes a difficult diagnosis to make. My recommendation would be to consult with a psychologist at your local community mental health center or similar resource in your community. There is not one definitive test, but often they will have tests that are more complete than just going on reports from teacher and parent. Hope this helps.
Pat

Your pediatrician should send you to another doctor who does the diagnosis. They will do some testing and then make a diagnosis. Ask your pediatrician if he/she will refer you to someone because you are still having problems and the teachers are suggesting that maybe he needs to get tested.

How is everything going with your son? My son had similar issues. By the end of his 8th grade semester, I pulled him out, homeschooled him for one semester. I discovered that he didn't know division very well and multiplication was shaky at best. He's a smart kid, just bored at school. He's a freshman in high school this year (pulic school) 3.42 GPA, plays football and in track. Active in debate/forensics, 1st place winner several times. Not bragging, just giving you hope that meds aren't always necessary. The time schooling at home, built his confidence back up and restored our relationship. Wasn't easy, but easier than how we'd been living with school for years!

Hi, I'm M.. I would first educate myself on alternatives. Is he taking a multivitamin and multimineral. He maybe low on essensial oils. and also you could use lecithin granules. The body needs nutrients, that in todays diet----our bodies are suffering. And all nerve endings need proper nutrition. I use all kinds of fruits, vegetables, and alternative nutrition support. And it does miricles. Please, just go to a nutrition store and tell them your situation and they can refer you to something that could help. Also, you could check out www.Manatech.com nutritional supplements. And, please know that the treatment of ADHD could be mind altering and not even the military is accepting people that have been on mind altering drug. Whether perscribed or illegal. Good luck. M.

A lot of kids that people think have ADHD really don't they have weak areas of their brain that make it hard for them to stay on task. I do a program called Structure of Intellect which test the areas of the brain needed for learning to identify the weak areas of the brain. Then we do modules to strenghten those areas. This gives the child the ability to focus when the areas are strong. You can look it up on the internet or call me at ###-###-####. Nurtition also plays a HUGE roll in a childs behavior. Food allergies can make a child not be able to focus or do his work. Look at his diet and make sure he is not eating a lot of sugar and as pure a food as possible (processed foods) fresh fruits, vegetables, and non processed meats such as lunchmeats and hot dogs.
Hope this helps
L.

I would seriously consider having him tested again. I have a 13 yr old grandson who was doing the same exact thing as your son and has tested out as adhd. The teachers said he would get unfocused and talk to other students which in turn disrupted their studies. Now he has to stay after every Tuesday to get work done with a little one on one from a teacher. It is helping but he is also on medication. We noticed he has trouble focusing at home too. If you want him to do something you have to make sure you have his undivided attention and usually I ask him to repeat what I said. He hasn't been on his med. long anough for us to say it is working but he does seem a little calmer. Good luck and don't take no for an answer from any doctors!

You can request the school to fill out a coners report. and you can fill one out too. It will let you know where he stands. That's not spelled right but I talk to my daughters speak teacher and got it done that way. Some day the meds. help her alot other times it doesn't do much. Well that is at home. That don't have any problems with her at school. She is doing really good at school. I would have to say go with your gut.

Don't cave in to the medication! Trust your fist instinct. How is your son's IQ and learning style? It may be possible that he is extremely intelligent and/or that the classroom teachers are not catering to his learning style. What are you doing that the teachers aren't? Can you have an oustide observer in the classroom observe him during his troubled times? Talk to your counselor for help here. Many times if a child is gifted or beyond the intelligence of the classroom norm, he or she will tend to get bored. Learning disabilities are more common than you would think with gifted children, as they tend to skip the steps that common intelligences take to learn things.
It's hard to focus on stuff you already know and therefore don't care about. Is it one particular academic area or an overall problem? There is a lot of information still necessary to diagnose your son's issue with completion at school. Would he respond to a completion chart where you give him a reward at the end of the week if he finishes class work 3 out of 5 days, then work up to 4 out of 5 days and then 5 out of 5 days.
If he is above intelligence but not gifted, I would suggest finding other ways to help him focus. Physical exercise might help if he is on the computer a lot or watching too much tv - karate or the like is especially good training for focusing skills. Either teaching him yourself or enrolling him in a class to learn another language or something that they do not offer in school will help that mode of his brain continue to develop and he might be able to concentrate on grade-level activities.
Some teachers want to have students diagnosed with ADHD and medicated when they don't want to change their teaching styles to support their student's needs. Sometimes it's the parents who want it. It's not always the students' fault, but it's not a good idea to go pointing blame all the time either. You're a good mom and don't give up as hard as it is. The fact that you're there to help him so much says a lot; even if he doesn't say anything about that, he'll remember that more than any information found in the textbooks.
Don't do medication. I've had a few students respond better to strict diet and/or sleep schedule and overcame ADHD diagnoses. Most of the time parents don't have the time or make the effort to be disciplined. It sounds like you would. Is he getting enough quality sleep and vegetables (we've had success with Juice Plus helping our daily quota)? Simple, I know, but it's easy to get into a bad habit and we all do it from time to time.

Well, one thing is that ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, you were mentioning that you only see the lack of attention. Do you see the very extensive hyperness you'd see with ADHD? While if you don't see the excess hyperness/energy then it might just be ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder. This is when it's only the issue with focusing. That's what it sounds like due to your explanation. I would definitely request for your doctor to retest him for either of these. Also, if the doctor won't or you feel he's doing an inadequate job at it then you might want to take your child to another doctor to receive another opinion. You do have every right. Another thing, keep in mind that the teachers really shouldnt be talking about medicating your child or diagnoses, they are not certified. I know all about this, I am certified and yet I have teachers coming to me about my son who is ADHD and trying to diagnose and medicate him, and I've informed them that if they continue I'll see them in court because that is illegal for them to do due to them not being certified. A lot of teachers now adays wants the kids medicated due to helping them having an easier day teaching. Lastly, if you feel that you could do the homeschooling deal and you feel it'll benefit your child more, it doesn't hurt. I know my husband and I have started talking about trying homeschooling for our oldest during the summer due to him having the same issues even when on his medicine as you've described.
I wish you luck!

-J.

My son and I have been going through the EXACT same thing. For years I knew something was not right, he is smart, and very capable of doing things, but just did not have the motivation to keep going, often frustrated to the point of tears when doing homework, he would often try to give up. Teachers over the years suggested everything from spanking to home schooling him stating that he was not capable of doing his work. I took him to doc after doc, until one day we went to see a new doctor, who diagnosed my son with Neuro Sensory Integration Disorder. NSID is a mild form of autism, basically it breaks down to this, EVERYTHING is a sensory overload for him in some way or another. This affects homework, peer relationships, even relationships with adults. He is now on medications, as badly as I hate it, things were not getting any better. Meds were a last resort. But he is doing better than he was. His grades jumped from barely scraping by to A's and B's on report card. He is now in 5th grade. Just research NSID and see if this sounds like your son. Good Luck.

If there is a special education program in your area they can test him for ADHD. Then you should talk to your pediatritian for what is the best for your child. Many schools will allow children to take medicine during school hours from their offices or school nurse to help during those times. This can hurt his ability to concentrate please get help, soon, ask LOTS of questions and if you are not satisfied ask more till you find answers for him. It is his future.

After many frustrations myself I took my son to a Neuro Psychologist for a very long test. But I finally had proof of what was wrong a little ADD (not hyperactive) with a lot of anxiety. Does your child have an IEP or have you had a formal SIT team meeting? Point to remember: your school needs to with you not against you.

My daughter, who is seven, was just diagnosed with ADHD. For many years we have tried to do "other" remedies because of our fear of medication. That was until my sister asked me one question, "If she had cancer, would you deny her radiation because it makes her hair fall out?" Now ADHD is not as serious as cancer, but it has the same meaning. If your child is in need of a medicine to make them better, do you not give it to them because it may or may not have other side effects? My 13 year old neice is also ADHD and has been on medication for many years now. My best friend's son who is 11 has ADHD and has responded very well to medication also.
There are other factors to ADHD besides not focusing on tasks to be completed at school. How is his behavior at home? Do you have to ask him many times to accomplish tasks? Do you have issues with his sleep patterns?
They best way to know if medication is what he needs is to take him to a therapist and/or a psychiatrist. One thing you should also do is ask for his teachers, coaches, anyone who works with him on a daily bases to complete what is known as a Connors Test. There are three Conners rating scales. One is designed for parents, another is for teachers, and a third Connors test asks adolescents to rate their own behavior. The one for the teachers can be obtained by parental request. Ask his teacher to complete the Connor's Test on him and you should be able to sign a release to whichever psychiatrist you choose. The psychiatrist will also do exercises with your son to determine if he is a smart cookie as well.
I hope that helps you. Don't be afraid of medications. I know ADHD meds have gotten bad reviews in the past, but there are a lot of different options that have become available since then. My daughter actually uses a patch that she puts on in the morning and takes off three hours before bedtime. I could tell a difference within the first day of usage. My neice uses the same thing, however my friend's son uses Adderall and it works very well for him. There are also non-stimulant options that may work well for him also. It may also be that the psychiatrist will determine that meds aren't the solution and he/she may be able to give you other options.

TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS BEHIND HIS BEHAVIOR IS VERY IMPORTANT
TO LEARN BEFORE YOU START HIM ON MEDS.

IF YOU WILL TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOU AND HIS BACKGROUND.
I HAVE A SON, AND TWO DAYS BEFORE HIS GRADUATION, WE DID
NOT KNOW IF HE WOULD GRADUATE. THAT HAS BEEN A NUMBER OF
YEARS AGO. HE WAS TESTED IN THE FIRST GRADE AND HE HAD A
COLLEGE IQ. ALSO, IT WAS AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE AND HE WAS
VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED. HIS SOCIAL SKILLS WERE
ALMOST NULL AND VOID. I CANNOT BUY A TICKET TO THE PAST,
AND CERTAINLY EVERYTHING HAS AFFECTED HIS FAMILY. I DID
NOT KNOW WHAT I DO TODAY. I WOULD HAVE CHECKED OUT
EVERYTHING INCLUDING COUNSELING, BEFORE I WOULD START HIM
ON MEDS. LOOK AT HIS NUTRITION AS WELL FOR TOO MUCH
CAFFEINE, SUGAR, ETC TH AT MAKES A CHILD HYPER.

I AM A PRACTICING PSYCHOLOGIST, AND HAVE BEEN FOR SOME
TIME, AND FROM MY PERSPECTIVE THERE ARE MANY CAUSES. ONCE
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS BEHIND THE BEHAVIOR YOU CAN SOLVE
MANY OF THE ISSUES.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK, MY E MAIL ____@____.com
TELE: ###-###-####. GOD BLESS, N. J ANDREW, PhD

I am sorry for your struggle. I would recommend going to the Developmental Behavior Clinic and Children's Mercy Hospital. They are specialists in behavior. They will interview you, the child, the school. They will put together the big picture for you and then as a TEAM decide the best approach. Question: Does your child sit for a movie? Enjoy playing outside and staying on the same game or sport? Have friends and they do the same thing for an hour or longer? I am a special education teacher. I do not like meds either. But it saddens me when a child cannot play due to chemistry in their body we cannot and they cannot control. That is when I have seen the child take meds. They are so happy because now they can also enjoy fun.