Should I Let My One Yr Old Cry It Out?

I'm a CIO mom, so my answer is a resounding yes. Unless you like getting up in the middle of the night.
You created the habit, and now you have to break it by esatblishing new boundaries for him.

If you let him cry - as in, don't go in there until morning after you put him down - it should only take 2-3 nights of crying before he gets the message.

Good luck mama!
CIO was the best decision I ever made for me and my very well rested kids!

We've been sleeping through the night since 4 months old.

We used the book "On Becoming Babywise" and highly recommend as an easy to understand, straightforward owner's manual.

Ferber is very similar.

A. - I am a co-sleeping, attachment parenting, extended nursing Mom and after doing this with 3 kids (including the adopted one, though I was not able to nurse him) - I feel I can say with conviction that nothing - NOTHING - is more important than SLEEP. YOUR sleep! Not theirs - they'll get naps while you are at work. : )

We cannot take care of our babies if we do not take care of ourselves.

So if the only way you can get sleep is to do a few nights of CIO, it will not be the end of the world. I didn't do it often, but by son 3, yes there were times I let him cry. He's 2 now and he's fine.

It's my understanding that most kids settle down after 20 minutes and 3 nights. Do what works for YOU so you can function and GOOD LUCK!

ETA: If your baby cries for more than 20 minutes, I understand you do need to comfort him. I don't think most "CIO" parents mean "we locked him in his room and ignored him all night until he gave up on us".

I weaned my baby at ~ 2 yo. My husband started sleeping with him at first, so he didn't go from full-on all night comfort nursing to nothing. And comfort nursing is only a problem in that it can lead to one exhaused Momma. Whatever you do, remember a loved, fed, and warm, heathy and happy baby is the goal. The rest is gravy. I know what it's like to be on the verge due to lack of sleep.

You need to stay employed, you want to be the best Mom; you have to find a compromise and that cannot mean you're seeing caffeine fairy lights and falling alseep on your drive home. I've been there ~ best of luck to you.

Wow, please don't listen to people that tell you to stop nursing?! Terrible advice and so tired of even nursing moms thinking that at one year you must stop. Babies know when they are ready. It's ok for little one to cry for 10 minute stints, but then go in to reassure them. They need to know they can trust you, that you will respond to them. Take a look online for the website and book by The Sleep Lady.

If you can handle it, it's very effective. It could take up to a week for him to "get" it. Biologically, he has been ready to sleep through the night for months. He doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night.

CIO is typically harder on the parents than the baby.

Read Harvey Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block" if you need some reassurance.

I agree with the answer that said you wouldn't let your child cry unattended during the day, why would you do it at night. In my own beliefs, if you do CIO methods, then you are teaching your child that in the dark, when it's scary, and he cries for you, you won't respond. That he's all alone, on his own. What a terrible thing to teach a child.
There are other ways to break the night feedings and constant wakings -- but those things are part of the responsibility of being a parent too. Tell your child that there won't be any more nursing in the middle of the night. Tell them that Dad will be getting up with them if they wake in the night. They understand far more than we give them credit for. Tell them about the process of going back to sleep and what you will do for them and then stick with it. If you say to them, when you wake in the night it wakes me up too. I need my sleep just like you need yours, so we're going to work on both of us being able to sleep all night. When you wake up and it's dark, just roll over and go back to sleep. If it is dark that means it is still sleeping time. If you wake up and you are really scared or you need me, then call for me and I'll be there for you. But I'm not going to pick you up and I'm not going to nurse you. I will come in and lay you down, rub your back and help you go back to sleep.
Your child may not be able to communicate back to you, but they can understand a lot of that. Empower them by telling them what's going on and what's going to happen in their lives.
Good luck!!

It took 3 nights for one son, 5 nights for the other. I should add, I didn't just CIO, I did the Ferber method. I had to go in and reassure them, tell them to go back to sleep. Wait 5 minutes, do it again of they were still crying, wait 10 minutes the next time, then 15 and so on.

We used the Ferber method, it took 3-4 nights. We did it sometime between 3 and 4 months old. It worked for us.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Ditto MandAM. We did CIO with both kids and within a couple nights they slept through the night. Don't go back in the room, either, because that just puts you back at square one. Learned that the hard way with our first child.

Maybe someone could explain to me why it's ok to let a child cry all night as in don't go in there until morning but it's not ok to let them cry all day by themselves. If you attend to your child during the day then logically, they need attention at night as well! Why not try giving him a real dinner before bed and not just yogurt and see if that works? How about going to sleep immediately after you son goes to sleep. You didn't say if he wakes 1 time or 5 times a night. I think it's ok to let a child fuss in another room for a few minutes. You don't need to run in there for every wimper. But there is always a better way than CIO. Don't stop nursing either.

It depends on how you want to parent. It's different for each child. I actually do remember my mother letting me "cry it out", and it has affected my ability to trust and be vulnerable with people. I remember thinking that I only wanted her reassurance, maybe a hug. I did not want to sleep with them. When I finally stopped crying, I said to myself--different articulation, I'm sure, but sentiment the same--"You're on your own, now." I still do not let my mother see me cry.

I think that babies can't go from being attended to all day to being on their own at night. Their care is 24 hours. The reason they stop crying is not that they have an epiphany that Mommy must need sleep and will come as soon as she can, but that they give up and feel defeated. I think that letting them cry like that teaches them not to trust you to meet their needs. I know that it's hard, and to say that your sleep is important is an understatement. Sleep deprivation is part of what I signed on for, though. It was pretty intense the first few weeks, but I got the hang of it. It's a rhythm that you have to get into. Your son can't tell you why he's waking at night. Maybe he's hungry; maybe he was startled; maybe he had a bad dream. Whatever it is, he needs your comfort. When you don't show up to comfort him, he learns that he can't trust you to comfort him, and that becomes part of his make-up. ...And when he's 35 and doesn't trust anybody to have his back, you'll be wondering why he won't just "settle down and get married". I'm not wishing this on your kid, by the way. I know that co-sleeping isn't for everybody, but do you have the option of doing something close to it, so you can both sleep and tend to your baby?

Also, if you feed him something heavier before bed, he might wake fewer times to eat.

Well.....3 nights of hell or infinity of bad sleep behavior and lack of sleep for you? I'd pick the 3 nights!

I'm not saying shut the door & let him scream until he passes out...establish a nighttime routine (cue that bedtime is coming), feed til VERY full, put in bed drowsy but not sleeping, check after 5 mins, increase to 10, 15. etc.

Say once "Night-night" or "Time to sleep" Otherwise, do not speak, do not pick him up. Pat his back, etc...don't engage him in anyway.

(he's using you as a pacifier, btw, he doesn't need nighttime feedings at 1)

Took 3 nights for us. Little one is almost 13 months. I did CIO at 12 months on the dot. I had done our last son at 9 mos. Our daughter, miraculously, slept through 12 hours each night from age 12 weeks unless she was ill....we still feel she tricked us into having more kiddos so quickly (had 3 in less than 4 years). Nursed both my boys until age 1.

That's a tough one at that age :/. I 'kind of' let my kids cry it out when they're closer to 3 months old...and it works great. The reason I say 'kind of' is because in the beginning my daughter was waking up ALL THE TIME!! I was having a hard time with the idea of letting her cry and I decided I could try it for 10 minutes...tops. At that age...they always conked out within 5-7 minutes...and then they were sleeping through the night (for the most part) within a week. The FEW times we've let our kids cry at night when they were older..were a LOT harder. I finally decided that I really was not a good mommy when I was going on that little sleep...and I needed to figure out something!! I've still never let them cry 'all night'...it rarely takes more than 2 or 3 nights for us...but they are sometimes EXTREMELY difficult nights! I would do it on a weekend or something, if I were you. At this point, we have a 21 mo. old that occasionally wakes up in the middle of the night. I pay attention to his cries...sometimes it's the 'I'm lonely, I just woke up, I want mommy' cry...sometimes it's a full blown, worked up, screaming cry. When I can tell he's so worked up that it'll be hard for him to fall back to sleep anyway...I'll do something about it...otherwise I let him fuss a bit...it might take 20 minutes...but usually not more than that. Good luck!

If he's crying, it's because he needs something he's not getting. It may be that what he needs is nothing more than to be held, but if he needs it, he neesd it. When my dauhgter was a baby, I had to get up at 5 to take care of pets before getting ready for work, and I still got up with her during the night if she needed me. I did not let her lie in her crib and cry.

Yikes... I am so not CIO - tried it once when my daughter was 18 months and she climbed out of her crib after one minute and crashed onto the floor! She recovered from that a lot faster than I did...

Beyond that, you need to stop nursing. I may take longer than you like, but if every time he wakes you put him back down to sleep, rub his back a bit etc. until he is asleep and then start taking tuns with your husband. Slowly decrease the time you sepnd sothing him and eventually he will start sleeping better... basically he needs to learn to put himslef to sleep again.

It is a little tough on the parents, but it does not taumatize your child...or you for that matter..

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck!

Original poster here.. let me clarify that i also have a 4 yo and when he gets scared or is sick he CAN and often does climb in our bed with us. However, while i havs brought the baby into our bed to fall back asleep i don' t feel it's safe to do so. His nursery is right across the hall so it is very hard to listen to him fuss. I do not let him scream w/out going to check on him...usually it is just some fussing but since he is so close is very hard to ignore! I would never let him cry to the point of hurting himself, also have video monitor. i usually am in bed by 9:30 as I work full time. Please don't judge me if u are not in the same boat with working full time. i would not care if he wakes up if i could sleep past 5:30 a.m.

let him cry - it will be hell for a few weeks - but your will get your sanity back eventually!

With my son, who is 4 now, I never let him cry and unfortunately, I held him until he fell asleep and if he woke up, I picked him up and held him again. I wold be in his room for hours. This time around with my day gather, who is almost 18 months, she was a better sleeper and I didn't want to repeat the same sleep problems I had with my son. I let her cry and calm herself down. It's hard, I know. But eventually she was able to lay in bed and fall asleep without any problems. She will wake up sometimes and cry and I will watch her for a while (I have a video baby monitor) to see what she does. I can tell by the cry as to whether it is something I need to go in her room for or if she will calm herself down. Don't think at this age they don't know how to get what they want. You will actually be helping him. But certainly don't let him cry so bad that he hyperventilates.