15 Month Bites

P.,
you have been given some good advice. i have a handout "the best ways to handle biting and hitting" but do not know how to attach it here. it is a couple of pages so not sure if it would fit this area. if you would like that handout you can email me and i will send it to you. i have a couple of questions for you.
1) you say she is not walking - is she pulling up or even interested? she should be walking by 16 months and, if not, there is a program in your area called ECI that can help. you can call ###-###-#### or go to www.itipnt.org and make a referral. be sure to tell them where you heard about the program.
2) my second question: does she have any words? sometimes children bite from frustration. keep us informed of progress and if any of this has been helpful. J.

When my son was around this age he had the same deal. Just out of the blue he would just take a chunk out of somebody...unfortunately it was usually their face :( However, his daycare told me not to worry about that he really does not know right from wrong yet and if he is still doing it at 3, I should be concerned. After he turned two the next time he bit someone was when he was four and did it because they did it to him first. I am thankful that his daycare was understnading and realized that it wasn't the child's/parent's fault some kids just do that. Because, as the mom I was flipping. I think I would be more concerned about the daycare's reaction to the situation. Maybe sit down with the manager and speak with her about it..... maybe she was just having a rough day that day. I hope some of this experience helps.......

As a daycare provide of 21 yrs, I have experienced this from time to time. I know that some doctors will say to ignore it, but I have experience that if will squat to their level as soon as they do it and tell them with a stern "NO! NO! We don't bite, that hurts people" that eventually they will understand. Then put them in timeout for a few minutes. This seems to hurt their feelings more than anything. This usually seems to happen when they are angry about something. Keep using a stern voice and I bet the matter will be solved soon. Good luck!

B., in Irving

My 14 month old is biting me every chance she gets. She thinks it's funny on top of that. She'll crawl (she does not walk yet) over to where I am sitting at and bite my toes, legs, whatever is in her mouths reach. I tell her "No Biting, that hurts mommy" and she laughs and starts to do it again (I have even explained it to her - like she really understood that, but it was worth a shot). I get up and leave where I am at, again telling her the above, and she follows me with mouth wide open, ready to sink in those razor teeth (she still nurses and thank goodness she hasen't bitten my nipple, just every other body part she can get ahold of). I don't have any advice, but your not alone. I have talked to a lot of other moms about this issue and it seems to be pretty common. I have been giving her something else to bit when I catch her trying or about to bite me and it helps a little (sometimes she just throws whatever it is down and still comes after me). I don't believe in hitting her (spanking), or popping her mouth, also I do not believe in placing her somewhere (another room, crib, pack n play, etc....which we don't even have a pack n play) and letter her Cry It Out, so we are trying to do the distract method.

Are the other kids she is biting provoking her in any way (that could be a problem right there, like taking away a toy she was playing with, hitting her, biting her first, etc...)? How closely are the kids being watched in the daycare (something could be going on to cause this reaction)? Is it the same kid that she is biting every time, or diffrent ones? Is she tired, hungry, upset/mad, etc. when these episodes happen? These are all questions I would pose to the daycare center.

Hope this helps, I know how you feel. It is frustrating in telling a toddler/baby something and knowing that they just either don't get it or have not put 2 and 2 together yet.

M.
Mom to shark baby Madeline

The daycare told you to BITE her? No way. That is NOT the way to solve biting problems. And if that's the way they would handle the problem, I wouldn't wait to get kicked out. I'd find a new provider quick. They should have told you about it the first time it happened and should be working with you to solve the problem.

My daughter was a biter at about the same age. It's totally normal, but she shouldn't get away with it. You should come up with a consistent response that you and her teacher or other caregivers will use. We would tell our daughter "No biting" then remove her from the situation -- put her in a playpen or a crib for about one minute, then let her get out to play again. Keep putting her back into the crib/playpen as often as you have to until she is playing nicely.

Beyond dealing with the biting itself, you should also be looking for the reason she's doing it. For our daughter, almost every time, it was because she was tired. It was usually close to nap time when this behavior came out. A nap would cure it every time. Also, if this daycare is new, she could just be acting out in the adjustment period. The only other time she would bite would be in defense. One of her little friends was rather aggressive and would often take toys from her, pinch or hit her. If she saw her coming to take a toy, she'd chomp down on her arm. Biting still was not acceptable, but we soon learned to head off those situations before they got bad.

As far as childcare, it's hard to find a really good one. If staying at home becomes your next option, I know of a great budget counselor who can get you on a plan to make one income work.