My second son is 15 months now and has recently started biting me. His older brother did this Very briefly when he was about the same age but it only happened maybe two or three times. I lucked out because all I did was to tell him in stern voice not to bite and he stopped. My oldest also only bit me when he was upset. With my youngest he does it because he thinks it's funny and it gets a reaction. I've tried calming telling him not to bite, I've tried scolding him but he still just laughs, I've tried not to react but it is painful he has quite a few teeth. Today he bit me six times! The last time he was happily playing next to me leaned over and bit me hard on the upper arm. That time I firmly told him no biting and when he smiled and leaned back in to try to bite me again I flicked his cheek. This made him cry and I felt horrible but that was the only thing I could think of (I thought of this beacause a friend of mine had said that when a baby is nursing and bites you if they continue to do this flicking their cheek will get them to stop biting when nursing). I don't know what to do. I'm also dealing with his not listening to me (yes I know he's only 15 months) but when I say no he smiles and does it anyway (yes I know it's for a reaction) but if it's something that's dangerous how can I get him to stop? My house is very babyproofed but we go to places that aren't. Any advice?
Tell him no biting and then distract him with something more fun that is ok for him to do. Biting him will only teach him that biting is ok.
Don't beat yourself up for flicking his cheek. I flicked my son's lips a couple of times when he was biting as a toddler. What worked better for me was to wait for the bite and then holler (and I mean *holler*): "OUCH!" followed quickly (not hollering but speaking VERY sternly): "NO biting! That HURTS." and then immediately walk away. He will likely cry, and when he is done go back to him and re-affirm quietly but sternly, "We don't bite. Biting hurts." Hug and move on.
What about putting him in his crib or pack & play when he bites? Tell him "no biting! Biting hurts!" and put him there for a few minutes of alone time.
I have 5 children. I use words first. If they refuse to listen then I use my hand in one form or another. I had a couple good biters, especially one. The thing that worked for these guys? The unpopular thing, biting back, just enough to make them see how it feels, and reaffirming, "Biting hurts! Don't do it again!" Stopped mine. Don't feel back for your son crying. He's crying because he knows he'll get a poor baby reaction from you, which he got.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
I agree with Diana P. It worked with my DD when she was biting during nursing, when she tries to hit, any undesirable actions like that. They are learning cause and effect, so if they learn that biting you makes you screech, they will bite. BUT if they learn that biting you means no more play time, then the biting will stop. :)
I would flick him on the mouth, say no biting, set him down and walk into the other room. of course only briefly, don't really want to leave him unattended. or if you cant leave a room, put him in a crib or other safe area and leave the room.
good luck I only had to do this 2 times and the biting stopped.
bite him back! so he can see how it feels. my little cousin had that problem and her mom did it to her and she didn't have that problem for to much longer! good luck
I haven't read any of the previous responses yet, but here's what comes to mind for me...
Several times, you mentioned that your son bit you "for a reaction". You are right, it could very well be that. I usually suggest checking to see if he's teething first, then I check to see what I might be doing which would make it interesting for the child to continue this 'game'.
What you will have to do is change your reaction. He's wanting your attention, and he gets it. If you change what you are doing so that he gets no attention from you, he's eventually going to change what he's doing.
So, the first thing is to visualize a change in what happens. Imagine your son biting your hand. Now, instead of getting angry, imagine taking a deep breath and putting him down, calmly but firmly saying "You may not bite me" and walk away. Go do something else for a few minutes. He might be puzzled and follow you. Do not talk to him about what just happened (no attention), not to scold or review or even "are you ready to be careful"....no talking for a minute or so. Then, you can find him something else to do, because he's still at an age where he can be pretty easily redirected/distracted.
When it happens again, the same thing. Calmly, fimly, as if it is an undisputed fact:"You may not bite me." Walk away.
Here's the thing; if you want kids to not solicit negative attention, then we have to give them more positive attention the rest of the time. So be sure to give lots of physical attention (hugs, pats on the back, tousled hair--- those things you can do when you walk by) and positive feedback about themselves and what they do. Toddlers are testers, so be strong!
Oh, and from my perspective, biting back can make it even more of a game. Not good parental modeling, from my perspective. They do what we do.
I used the flick to the nose or ear and it worked. I coupled it with the stern voice, AND i immediately put my son or daughter down and walked away. It only took a few times to get it under control, and then again a few months later when she wanted to see if it would get the same reaction (which it did :) I think that a little crying is a better step in the right direction (rather than learning to laugh at your pain...picture that a few years down the road...not very cute then) Seems like a fairly common stage, but I did use the flick (and called it a flick, and yes threatened with a flick if behavior was repeated that I did not want) Very quickly they realized that Mommy means it, and it works. Good luck.
I would try what Diana said. It worked when our son was biting us. Unfortunately it didn't work with our twins. They were biting each other and leaving horrible bruises on each other. You could see the shape of an open mouth on their arms. It would happen so fast. We tried what Diana said but it didn't work. I ended up biting them. I felt awful and I only did it hard enough to make my point but it worked. They were a little older than your son, I think.
