He is 15 months. He will scream to sleep if we put him in his crib. If I stay in there and hum a bit, then just stay quietly, he will eventually fall asleep calmly, but only if it's close to 10pm. I should not have to stay there though! If I am there singing, and it's 8 or 9, he will scream anyway because he is not tired.
So now we are trying putting him in his crib at 9:30pm and he screams to sleep. I don't stay with him until he falls asleep. He still cries until 10. Any earlier would be a total disaster. So, yes, we spend each night waiting for him to get tired. And then we listen to him scream and wake up the other kids.
If I just wait until 10 each night and sing to him, he is fine. This means no time with husband, who goes to bed before this. I would prefer to stay with the baby until 10 and sing and not have him scream, yes. But is this really fair to husband? I don't believe letting a baby scream and raising his cortisol levels is the best idea.
I would rearrange the schedule so that he is in bed no later than 8... kids should all be in bed by that time so Mom and Dad can have the end of the day to themselves. Bath and storytime, and then "lights out".
Then you and hubby can be on the couch watching what you want to watch on tv or do "other things". Parents feel very accomplished when you can get all the kids tucked away early without drama.
In my opinion let him cry it out. I am kind of tired of hearing some of these moms saying its mean. It is not mean, my dr told me it was fine. As long as the baby has everything he needs like he's been fed, changed ect.. My son is 8 months old and I let him CIO. I make sure everything is fine with him. He knows at a certain time he goes down for a nap if he doesn't like it, oh well. He cries for maybe 5 minutes before going to sleep.
If he doesn't like the dark then get him a nightlight. Your right you shouldn't have to be in there just for him to fall asleep. If he gets used to you being in there to go to sleep then he will continue to do this for a while. Just assure him everything is fine and mommy and daddy are not going anywhere. Let him sleep with a stuffed animal or something he likes. If it doesn't work, just tell him you love him and tuck him in. If he cries and screams just close the door and ignore it. He will understand its bed time in time. Good luck. Btw for any moms who disagree with me that's fine. I am just giving my opinion.
I agree, letting him cio isnt good for either of you. Or the whole family for that matter. It just gets him more worked up. I would suggest playing with him more throughout the day to tire him out sooner. And thus trying to put him to bed sooner too.
If he wont sleep unless you are in the room, try being in there, until he is just about asleep then slowly move yourself closer to the door. Every night, move yourself a little closer to the door until finally after a few days you are out of the room and he is asleep.
I just got the "no cry sleep soloution" for my son and it has worked so well for us. It gives you tips and real relatable things in there. You can get it off amazon for pretty cheap.
"I should not have to stay there though!" seems like an odd idea to me. We bring tiny persons into the world and then subject them to our ideas about what our rights are as parents, and what our children ought to need, regardless of the actual needs they are expressing. Your son appears to feel alone and anxious or angry in his bed in the dark.
I agree with moms who suggest waking the little guy earlier, and making sure he gets good doses of natural daylight during the day. Wearing him out with lots of exercise is good for sleep, too.
He should be going to bed before 10. Look at his daily schedule. Does he still take two naps? When does he wake up from his last nap? How long does he sleep during nap time? It might just be that the schedule needs tweaking a little bit.
I'm amazed at people like "amanda F" ... Why do people have kids if they are going to throw them in a room alone to cry themselves to sleep?
Ugh, I'll never understand! It IS cruel. If he's crying he needs you.
I agree with what some of the other people said about trying to wake him earlier and maybe go down to one nap. BUT don't let him cry it out, thats just cruel. He's still so little and this time doesn't last long. Although I know its stressful ...I feel like I'm going nuts right now.. I have a 6 1/2 yr old, wild 2 year old, and colicky 1 month old (all girls). I still have to get my 2 yr old to sleep, she doesn't go to sleep on her own. While I get her to sleep my husband tends to the baby. Thats why there are 2 parents (ideally). You can make time when you can for your husband, but I can't imagine him not understanding that you have to meet your childs needs first? Like I say they are only little and dependant on your care for a short time.
Well, good luck ... I feel your pain over here, believe me
Unless you can change his daytime schedule so he's more tired, I'd just stay with him & comfort him at this stage. He should not be left to cry it out- no child should. It is terrifying for them! Your hubby can put him to sleep sometimes and will just have to understand. Many couples juggle kids at night, sometimes with one parent sleeping in the child's room. A lot of families have this situation. Night time is upsetting for a lot of kids. You can't fix this, just work with it and know it won't be forever. He's too young to tell you what's going on. It's the parent's job to comfort and get kids thru tough time - not easy, but there it is.
I totally feel you being pulled between husband and baby. It's a total catch 22. I agree with others the schedule needs a little tweaking. Do you let him sleep till he wakes in the morning? If so, that's the first place to start trying to get his sleep time schooched back an hour or 2. If he normally wakes at 9, wake him at 8. Also it might be time to move him to a once-a-day nap. It'll be hard at first, but the end goal is you've got to move that bedtime up. It sounds like he's a great sleeper once his clock says it's time. One piece of advise - gradual changes. Don't try to wake him 1 hour early all in one day. Try 15 minutes per day to help him gradually adjust. Good luck!
he's still a baby and still dependent upon you for comfort. do you have a solid night time pattern that you follow? routine is very important to infants and toddlers.
healthy sleep habits happy child
that is an awesome book-
I would also recommend getting your son out into the morning sun. creating a day full of structure. ie 7am wake up, 7:30 food & milk, 9am play, 10am nap, 12am lunch 2pm nap, etc etc..........
morning sun is important in regulating sleep patterns. He needs at least 20 minutes of sun exposure early in the day. no sun glasses- it will regulate seratonin and melatonin. those two chemicals help regulate sleep.
Give it a few weeks, and I'm sure you'll notice a difference. He *Should* ideally go to sleep for the night around 7pm.
Good luck!
It would be good to know how much sleep he is getting during the day and what time is he getting up in the morning. Maybe he is just getting to much sleep. If his nap is later in the afternoon that would be a good reason he wasn't tired by 8.
Look at his nap schedule and when he wakes in the morning. If he's taking 2 naps still, it may be time to cut one out. If he's sleeping in late, then you can try to wake him earlier and shift his schedule earlier.
