Help! 10 Mo. Wont Go to Sleep in His Crib After 1St Waking

Try putting him to bed earlier, by 10 months my daughter was going to bed at 6:30pm. He might be overtired and that's the reason for him waking up after such short period of time.

Good Luck!

He will have to eventually learn to put himself back to sleep and self sooth. I don't know what is the best. We had to let my daughter scream it out for a couple of nights. It didn't last long. The longest was 15 mins. (which felt like an eternity), but she eventually learned how to get herself to fall back asleep without needing me there every minute.

I read everything and ended up doing a combination of Ferber and three other people. Essentially you need to be firm and consistent with whatever you decide to do. We let her cry it out. There are a lot of things to do before just putting your child down to help this approach work. I read some of the other posts, definitely anticipate when your son will be tired and do the entire routine BEFORE he gets there. Ideally your baby is calm, content and very sleepy when you are setting him down in his crib but still AWAKE. For me, once she could fall asleep on her own, she was able to put herself back to sleep easily in the middle of the night. This is the crux of all sleep problems (for us anyway). We did this in stages. First we worked on not nursing to sleep, then getting her to fall asleep on her own, then we removed the four am feeding. When she would wake in the middle of the night, we would give it five full minutes before even discussing if we should go in there. Almost every single time she would fall asleep on her own. The two times we decided to go in there, it only riled her up and made it more difficult for her to go back to sleep. We had essentially shown her that being rescued was an option. Some people use the talk to your child and back away from the crib approach. I know it has worked for many. There is no way it would have for us. I also think since your son is already ten months and free will and expressing his desires (hate to call it manipulation, but that's pretty much what it is) has entered the situation, it's probably going to be easier on him and quicker to get to the desired result by just being firm and going full force cry it out. Just my opinion, but whatever you do, be consistent and on the same page with anyone else involved. Best of luck! Once you get through this, you're all going to sleep and your whole world will change.

I have a 10 month old son as well. We do not do CIO - I can't take it and he doesn't do well with it. We have a routine as well, and almost the same bed time. He usually goes down with out a wake up - but when he does - I pick him up and console him. Sometimes (depending on when he took his afternoon nap) he is just not tired. So at 9:15 (when he wakes) I put him on the floor with some toys and he plays for about 10 minutes. When I can see that he is getting tired (pulling on ears - rubbing eyes or head) I move him to the crib and let him play a little there. Most times - he just falls asleep - other times, I have to rock him.

Bottom line - you have to find what works for you and your son. Some work well with CIO - we do not.

Good luck!

Hi S. :) First thing - your 10 month old is going down way too late. I consulted w/a sleep expert and my babies were sleeping 12 hrs night at 12 weeks. At that age, he should go to be between 5:30 & 6:30pm. I am probably guessing that he is sooooo overtired it's taking him a lot longer to transition from sleep 1 to sleep 2 (REM/deep sleep). All babies will 'wake, stir, fuss' in this transition (usually between 30-45 min after they first fall asleep - that's why you will hear a lot of people complain that their babies "only take 30 min naps" - it's because they go in and pick them up when they should just let them transition into Sleep 2). It's important to just leave your baby there and let them put themselves back to sleep (it may take 5 min, it may take 20 min, depends). If you go in and pick them up, it starts that whole sleep 1 to sleep 2 process over..........so it becomes a non-stop cycle (hope this is all making sense??!! :)... I did CIO and EVERYONE tells me I have the happiest babies - it's because they sleep great! :) Also, if you do this for 3 days, you will see less crying on day 2 and perhaps none on day 3. It takes 3 days for any baby to 'readjust' to a new schedule/routine. If you want the best sleeping info (and I read ALL the books and threw them out after I met Davis), go to www.3daysleepsolution.com. She is also available for phone consults. She is the BEST!!! Happy sleeping (you, your baby AND your hubby!) :)

I don't see what the problem is? Once he is in your bed with you he falls asleep so everything is ok.stop worrying and enjoy it! neither one of my two children ever have slept in the crib...
M..

It sounds like this is a habit. If you pick him up and rock him or take him to your bed, you are reinforcing the behavior. I am not a big fan of the cry-it-out approach, so I developed a modified technique using the Law of Attraction with my third baby.

First, write down/ journal what you want to create. Write it in present tense and describe your feelings in your vision. Example, "I am so happy and grateful my baby is sleeping through the night in her own bed. She is so peaceful and the intimacy with my husband is wonderful and meaningful."

When you put your baby down at night, tell him, "Good night. I'll see you in the morning." or some statement that indicates that you mean business.

If he wakes up, don't pick him up. I suggest using a technique called EFT Emotional Freedom Technique. You can Google that-- and get the manual for free, I believe. I used this technique on my son when he was one and crying in his bed and it worked wonders. Basically, it involves tapping various acupressure points while saying a release statement several times like, "Even though I want my momma to pick me up right now, I love myself and I'm a good kid." And "Even though I wake up and can't fall asleep on my own, I need my momma to help me, I love myself and I'm a good kid." Etc. This technique has been extremely effective with PSTD veterans, survivors of genocide, etc. (in double-blind studies, used by professional therapists etc.), and it's effective with children for more benign challenges as well.

Or you can just lay him down and lightly tap him while he cries to release his distress.

Or you can ask a professional energy coach/ intuitive to clear him. Calyco Healing is extremely effective and quick. It could probably be "cleared" in 15 minutes or less. I have used this technique with my youngest child--she is 2 months--(just slept 8 hours on her own last night!). It has helped with colic, night terrors, and ear infections as well. I wasn't familiar with Calyco Healing previously.

You might check out Calyco Healing on the internet--there are many fantastic practitioners I'd recommend, besides myself. You just have to find the one who speaks to your heart.

Regardless of what technique you decide upon. It will happen eventually! Just trust yourself.

Good luck!
T.
http://www.thrivingmomma.com

You have to teach him to stay in his bed. What I would do is after he wakes and freaks out, pick him up and calm him down and say "It's time to go night night, now lay down and go to sleep and don't cry.." or something like that. Lay him down and pat his back or rub his head for a minute. Then walk out. I'd let him CIO for just a few minutes then go in again and do the same thing. But each time you go in there, let him CIO a little longer. Just remember that you have to re-train him to sleep in his bed. It might take a while or it might be quick but be consistent and don't give in by letting him stay up or you'll have to start all over again. =) My 2 month old is my 5th baby and I'm still learning this concept but I'm getting there...LOL

Yes, CIO is the best...my four kids did great with it...really, it's very difficult the first night and up to 3 or 4th nights, but it actually gets better with each night, but as others have said, you have to really stick with it, and I don't believe those that say they have tried it have really STUCK with it, you can't back down. And the sleep you get and time with your husband is awesome and the children are ever so much happier because they are actually getting the sleep they really need...it's the most wonderful thing...but remember, those first days (nights) are super hard, but don't give in and the kids will be so much happier for it too! Mine are now 23, 20, 17 & 17 (twins). And we hated the co-sleeping, because how do you have time for the two of you? Some people love it, but you still have to do the separation from your children someday...the sooner the better. You'll all be happy!

My oldest son was the same way. I'm a working mom and get up at 5am every morning, so after trying EVERYTHING, we gave up and just let him come in with us. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I have to say it's nice having him in his bed all night long now and his younger brother is MUCH better about staying in his room. Don't beat yourself up about it, just try and find whatever works for you, even if it's the lesser of two evils.

Good luck.
-M

you can go in and sooth him by tapping his behind gently and saying "it's okay, go to sleep" and then walk out. Another option is just to let him cry it out. Either way, you can't give in.

Hi S., Let me try and give you some old school advice, At 10 months old regardless of what other moms tell you, he knows how to manipulate, and that is exactly what he is doing. You go back in and rock him and try to get him back to sleep, and he knows it. try rocking him to sleep at bed time, them put him to bed, if he wakes up, DON"T get up and go into him, I know it sounds mean, but it's not, he's not a new born anymore. You said yourself that you and your husband hardly have anytime together, well that's because your sons crying is controling you and your time, you have given him the power in your home that no child should have. Break the cycle, stop going in, eventually he will stop relying on that and either stay a sleep or put himself back to sleep. 26 years ago when I had my first baby, my best friend had a baby 2 months older, her and her husband were both in the Navy and had to get up early for work and could not afford to be up all hours of the night, so she put a fish aquireum with a blue light in her sons room, she said the movement of the water, fish, and the blue light was soothing and relaxing and it helped her son fall back to sleep when he would wake up. I didn't have sleep issues with my kids/baby's but I did the same and the blue light also served as a soothing night light. Hope this helps, old school is the best, I have the proof in my 3. I'm with Tarah, I also disagree with co sleeping, and not going in once they are put to bed. J.

We have been having the same problem with out 10 month old also. We have figured out that he sleeps much better if we wear him out. Let him crawl all over the house, play toys, pull up on stuff, walk around with is push toy. It really helps, also we normally let him CIO but my boys are sharing a room for the time being and that really doesn't work. If the weather is nice after dinner maybe take him for a walk, the fresh air and new senery help my boys. Good Luck

I did CIO on both of my kids and it worked. If all of his needs are met and he wakes up, he needs to put himself back to sleep. Go check to make sure that the diaper is clean, etc. He is old enough for this. Yes, you will feel horrible the first couple of nights (our first child, my husband told me "aren't you going to get him?" - I felt horrible, but so sleep deprived).

I disagree with co-sleeping. That is my personal opinion, I'm not going to bash it - but all the people that I have met regret doing co-sleeping with their children.

Hi S.,

We had the same problem when my son was 10 months old, he knows you will pick him up and eventually take him to your bed, that's is what he wants!
Every time my son woke up I went there tell him go back night night and that I love him, even if he was standing up in his crib I knew he will lay down eventually! I had a video camera and that really easy my mind!
Be strong and loving at the same time and he will learn he need stay in his crib!
My son is now 3 1/2 and he is in toddler bed and he wont get out! He wake up and call me and wait until I go get him, also I'm still using the video monitor, so I make sure he is ok!

Good luck!

CIO.

Yes, you created that habit by taking him into bed with you, and now he's running the show. When he wakes up tonight, do what you feel comfortable with (tuck him back in, give him a paci, etc...), but don't take him out of that crib.

Our has done this from time to time, and the way we break the habit is by going in, tucking him back in (we don't pick him up at all), giving him his paci and blankie and then leaving the room. Then, we don't go back in. It's enough for him to know that we are there, but that it's time for sleep.

Does he have a "lovie"? Blankie, paci, stuffed animal...something like that? If not, you might try introducing one. We also had a soother that lit up on his crib, so when he woke up, he would turn it on and put himself back to sleep. He kind of used it as a night light.

Bottom line, if you let him stay up, or take him into bed with you, you're just going to have to deal with this problem when he's 2 or 3, instead of now. And then it's going to be MUCH harder. I, personally, wouldn't create that habit.