oh my goodness! ladies, i'm about to go berzerko! i'll just post one thing at a time. my son refuses to conform to the rules. now, he's not mouthy. he's very passive, he just does what he wants. he takes food into his room, gets coke, in the middle of the night, and so on. we've talked, i've been nice. i've been mean. i've taken all his belongings away, made him earn them back. am i crazy for thinking about putting a door on the kithen and locking it?
suggest some love and logic classes for ideas. here is someone who is good who runs classes:
http://www.real-families.com/Parentingclasses.htm
she also has coaching for parents one on one. at reasonable cost.
Regarding the discipline, I second the suggestion about Love and Logic! That might help with this issue as well as the others you're going to post separately. As for the food in the night, maybe he's just really legitimately hungry. My husband will have nights when he gets up and I hear him in the kitchen. The only thing that drags me out of bed is a crying baby or a bladder that's about to burst. Does he eat a good dinner? Maybe he needs a snack before bed. When we were kids, we always had an apple before bed to tide us over til morning. Maybe you can set out some fruit and water bottles for a late night craving? Good luck!!
I would suggest to buy capri sun or something that will not spill or keep him awake if he has a drink at night.As long as his school work and his home chores get done don't fret its just a Phase.
Sounds like my son at that age. Just love him. Give him his space. Don't nag him too much. Do let him know the house rules and what is expected of him and the whole family. Remember, he will do what he sees, not what he hears, so everybody has to follow the same rules. If you don't want him having soda pop, don't have it in the house on a regular basis. If you don't want him to live in his bedroom all the time, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT let him have a tv, computer, or video game system in his room.
Realize that I am speaking from my own 20/20 hindsight. These are the things that I look back and wish I had done.
The final result of my parenting - he's a well-rounded 20-year-old. He maintained a 4.0 in high school, was active in track, cross-country, & swimming. He triple-jumped in the Junior Olympics when he was 16. He went to college, works two part-time jobs, and now lives in an apartment with a friend and asks for very little financial support from home. I guess I did okay, but I do look back and think that there are things that I would do differently if I could go back in time.
One last piece of 20/20 - make him save his money and pay for his own car insurance when he gets a car. I don't have a problem with parents paying for a decent (and decently priced) used car for kids, but I know now that I should have made him be more financially responsible earlier on than I did. That free advice comes from the financial coach in me.
You may also have to take the age into account...I have a 14 year old daughter who can listen to you, say yes she'll do whatever task is requested and then sit on the computer for hours, accomplishing nothing. She also has midnight snacks like poptarts, which is a nice easy breakfast for her five year old brother. I have moved things around, some may say "hidden", certain items I do not want her to grab! Finally, I have stopped buying items like the colas, if they aren't something he should have, maybe nobody in the house should...
The food in the room problem, does he leave the dirty plates, cups, and bowls? 13 is old enough to clean up after himself. We had to take away weekend priviledges until cleaning was done. For her, it's not taking things away, but the threat of losing time with friends where she won't be able to hang out with everybody else.
