12-Month-old Punched in Face

My daughter was about that age when a boy in the public playground sandbox attacked her. His mother said that's what chidren do. I left and cried along with my daughter. After that she was okay with other children. She wasn't afraid.
I was very angry at that mother for it was certain her child was a bully whose behavior was never going to be corrected.
I did go back to that park but we never saw that mother or her child there again.

I am sorry about the incident. However and insincere apology from the offender never really helps, but lot's of loving attention does.

Worrying is a learned behavior that actually increases the negative energy around the situation. Mom's worry because we are taught it is a form of caring, but it actually uses up energy instead of ever solving anything.

Put the worry to the side and focus on playing with your daughter as well as taking her into situations that are safe where the memory of the incident will fade.

When we worry we lock in the incident, it is much more important to be present and aware now than to continue to replay them in your mind and upset yourself.

She will get over it, the quicker you do the quicker she will.

Stop blaming yourself and put your attention into being with her now. She will get much more out of that.

Love does actually heal all, even if it does wipe away the memory.

Warmly,
www.naomimarie.com

It really seems like it has, and will, affect you much more than your daughter. She won't remember this later on in life. Even her current response to kids may be picking up more on your own understandable nervous reaction than her own memories.

That kid and her mom seem to have had problems, and i hope you won't have to deal with them again. But, to help your daughter, i think you have to assume that most kids and parents AREN'T that way, and teach her how to introduce herself, how to ask to play, and how to appreciate the other little kids she comes into contact with. I think if you can at least act like you believe that each new contact will be positive, then your daughter will pick up on that.

You did the right thing, A., you gave your daughter love and comfort when she needed it. Be glad that you could be there when it happened and could respond right away. See if you can plan play dates with other moms whose kids are her age and gentler, so your daughter has a chance to feel safe playing with other children.

Kids get bumped and bruised when they play, sometimes at the hands of others, sometimes just on their own. We do our best to protect our children and give them the tools they need to go out into the world with confidence. But sometimes our job is just to be there for them when life happens.

First of all stop blaming yourself for something you had no idea would happen. It's awful that it happened but you can't control everything in your child's life and I know you are a good mom and keep her safe. On the same note you can't stop a bee from deciding to sting her.

Just be loving to her and don't worry about things that are unpredictable. She has or will forget about it and form friendships and play with other children.

If she was repeatedly punched in the face every time she got close to another child I would worry. One incident will be forgotten.

I can't believe the mother of that child did not apologize or talk to her child about it, not good!

This kind of thing may happen throughout your childs life. Other small children are very unpredictable when it comes to toys (biting, hitting, etc.) None of it is acceptable, and the parents should apologize and have the child apologize as well.

I don't believe it will have any negative effects in the longterm. She may very well be more cautious for a while, but kids are very resilient and move on from these things long before mom/dad does.

You're story breaks my heart! I'm surprised by the number of people telling you that you are worrying too much! She's your baby and that is your job! Keep on worrying, cuddling and protecting her, and when she regains her trust in the world because she has her mother to protect her, she will eventually venture out and trust others again. 3 months is not a very long time and my guess is that though she won't remember any of this in a couple years, she still feels a sense of insecurity from the incident. I like the idea of exposing her to other kids and mothers that you trust, but don't push her too fast. Let her decide when she is ready to trust kids again. And trust your instincts! If mothers didn't worry, I think the species would have died out a long time ago!

I feel for you and applaud you not verballing attacking the other mother, because I WOULD have. Some people need to take responsibility for their child's actions. If my son would have hurt another child, my first action would have been to see if the other child was alright and second, I would have made my son apologize for his actions! This would have taught both children that hitting is not acceptable behavior. I think I would show your daughter Stella, that she can have fun with other children. You could interact with her and the other child at first, then back off a few steps to show her it's alright. I'm so sorry this happened to her... everything is supposed to be a learning experience. Unfortunately it's not always good ones. Good luck to you and Stella! :)

Looks like you got what you needed, but I still wanted to say - I'm so sorry! I'm saying it for the woman that didn't. It took me a little while to get used to doing it, but I have no qualms being the adult to other people's children. My daughter expects me to stick up for her (at least now, I'm aware it will become embarressing later on). If something like that happens again and the mother doesn't become involved, I would still tell the other girl that hitting is not appropriate and that she needs to apologize. If the woman complains, trust me, she's not going to be proud about how her kid reacted.

I don't know what you can do about it now. I guess she needs to get around other older kids that are nice and not bullies so she can see that they are not all bullies and butts.
I am glad that happened to you rather than me because I would have grabbed the girl by the arm and took her to her mom and if her mom ignored it I would have hit the kid back with my little girls hand, that way they can't say that and adult did it.
I am really not glad that happened to you, but I wouldn't have been able to ignore it like you did.
You are a wonderful person for that. I commend you for that.

Sorry that it had to happen to a sweet little innocent one.

A.,

I really don't know how much kid remember or hold onto. Here's my story:

We weren't covered by insurance at the time my son was born. I was on State Medical coverage at the time and they decreed that circumcision was an elective surgery and would not cover it. We had to wait until insurance from my then boyfriend's insurance kicked in. So, my son was not a newborn just a few days old when we finally got him circumcised. He was maybe a month old? No older than three months. I honestly don't remember now. Anyway, he was bigger than the biggest "board" they have for this procedure, and wound up with a diaper behind his head for padding while he was strapped down. To this day, he's now six years old, he hates being pinned down on his back.

My suggestion for your little girl is give her lots of compassion and love, and let her take things in her own time. About a year ago my in-laws got a nearly grown puppy that is super friendly. My daughter was about a year and a half old and looked that dog right in the teeth. Needless to say he tried licking her to death, friendly like. She doesn't even like itty bitty dogs now. She's scared of them all. We let her choose to say hi to dogs or not, and how close she chooses to get to them.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

I don't think you're worrying too much. It's good to be aware of everything that affects your child and to pay attention to how they respond so that you can meet their individual needs. Right now your daughter may need a little extra encouragement to interact with other kids until she is comfortable again, but one thing to remember with children is that everything comes and goes--they have so many phases and stages that she will most likely pass through this one and the incident will not have any long-term effects, as long as you encourage her to be friendly herself.

Please, stop worry, she will forget the accident but your "worring" behavior might get much worst impact on her. Don't forget she can sence your feelings and read your behavior. You can help her to forget the accident by getting her play-dates with kids you know and than go to a busier place with kids she knows. The point is to make her feel save. We had similar experiense but I react right away by kind of "scolding" the big kid that hitted my son and his mom step right in to protect him (hitting little kids?) and we started an argue that I wasn't very proud of because getting down to her comunication level wasn't the best thing I can do, but later when my son told me that he feels save around me I thought that may be after all it wasn't that bad. I wasn't proud of my reaction but quite few months after that my son would ask me to stay next to him every time there were big kids around. This is when I started arranging play dates and situations with bigger kids until he got the idea that the hitting thing was an accident. Good luck!

This happens almost daily in our house, in that someone gets knocked over or hurt. I have 3 kids under 4 and it's not always possible to prevent every fight. Please don't worry.

Kids are resilient, especially at that age. Life is full of bumps and bruises and people who don't always play by the rules. She was wary for a while, she'll rebuild her trust and you'll watch to see that she plays with kids her own age. Some kids haven't developed the social skills they need to get along with others. So walk away from trouble. When the other Mom didn't apologize that was a good indication that she wasn't watching or if you had stepped forward and spoken with her about the incident she wouldn't have responded well.

Teach your daughter to share, it doubles the fun. To be respectful of others' toys and things. And when she hurts someone by accident or by intent, she needs to say she's sorry and make amends.

I'm sorry you both had a bad experience, but there will be many, many more great days!!