My Baby Got Bit

I think it depends on how the other parents react. If they were nonchalant about it, then I would have gotten in their face. But if they were embarrassed & apologetic, then you just have to accept it.

I agree that the child's parents responded appropriately. Your sweet little one may or may not start biting now just because she got bitten, but rest assured she will test those teeth at some point. It is normal for most toddlers to bite at some point. Hopefully, it will only be once or twice and that will be it. I have a 3 yr old who has gone through a few different biting stages. It was out of pure frustration and anger at other children. (when she was at daycare) good luck!

B.,

When my daughter was an infant and through most of her 2nd year, she was very passive around other children. Once she learned to talk, she used her words instead of actions like biting or hitting. Unfortunately, she did get bit a few times though; some from one of our good friends' child, and some in daycare. It was hard to go through (on both sides, my friend spent MANY hours in tears over it), but the other parents sound like they handled it well. If they make a huge deal out of it, the behavior sometimes takes longer to stop. It sounds like they removed the child from the "play" situation, and went on doing something else. One thing to remember is that while the parents of the other child can remove her from the situation, they can not predict if their child will bite. The child is 2, and as much as they say to her "no biting" they cannot control her fully. She will sometimes act out no matter what they are going to do. That is part of a 2 year old testing limits. (It doesn't make it easier for us with the ones who are the "targets"). At least they did something though, my son (22mos) got punched on the McD's playground last week by a 6 year old whose dad did nothing.

All kids are different and some pick up habbits that we don't like. I think that if we give them a huge amount of attention, they are likely to keep it up longer. My daughter never became a "biter" after the times she was bit. She knew it hurt and didn't even try it. As hard as it is to see your little one hurt, just give her some extra kisses and hopefully she won't pick up the biting.

Good luck!

I think it is normal. When my son got together with my friends baby first thing he did was go to her playpen and bite her. My 10 mo bite me yesterday in my Day Care. G. W

I can relate completely!!! My daughter got bit by her best girlfriend at Daycare one day. They were about 2- 2 1/2 years old. I was so upset and my husband was OFF the charts. I am only speaking from my experience. This bite did break her skin and had purple indentions in my daughter's skin. You want to make sure an clean it thoroughly... hydrogen peroxide. We cleaned it several times and put a band-aid on it. It did fade and eventually went away. My daughter is almost 4 and there is NO sign of it at all. As far as your daughter becoming a bitter... I can only say that my daughter did not become one. Not sure that one has anything to do with the other. But I think that my daughter knew how much it hurt and never did it. Actually she was bitten at 3 1/2 as well by a friend's 5 1/2 year old son. There too learned the lesson about no bitting. It hurts like the dickens, but all will be ok. My heart goes out to you. :)

B. -

First, no, your daughter won't necessarily become a biter. You need to make sure she understands that you will not tolerate that from her.

But, for a moment, take the other mom's perspective. My son has been bitten, and I remember thinking how grateful I was that he was on the receiving end, not the giving end. Close friends of ours (two families, actually), have had biters, and it is MUCH worse to be the parent of the biter than the one being bitten. This could have been the first time their child ever did this, and they could have been as shocked as you. Or this could be an ongoing issue that they're desperately trying to stop. One friend actually had to keep her child within a few feet of her every moment the child was awake (she put up a playpen for when she was cooking, etc.) for quite a while so that she could actually catch her biting her sister and deal with it. And I've had friends with kids kicked out of Sunday School and preschool for biting.

It sounds like the other parents handled it well, removing their child and making it clear that they wouldn't tolerate the behavior. As long as the skin wasn't broken (so your child isn't in danger of infection), you don't need to do much more than be gracious.

Being the mother of a biter I can say it isn't easy on this side either! My son has been bit before as well so I can sympathize with both. My son is also two and exploring. Biting is not a learned behavior, and it is developmentally appropriate. The parents did the right thing by apologizing and removing her. I wouldn't say anything to the other kid or parent, just soothe your child and reassure them that our teeth are not for biting and they didn't do anything wrong. Unfortunately 2 year olds tend to do this a lot, even when they are around other kids a lot or can "use their words." My son bites because someone is in his personal space. Talk about having to keep an eye on him! But now you see how fast it can happen! I'm sorry your baby was bit but don't worry, she most likely will not grow up to be a biter because of this incident!

First, I'm very sorry your sweet baby girl got bit. I know that was painful and it hurts us moms so much to see our children hurt like that.

Second, there's really nothing you can say to the parents of the biter IF, and it sounds like the biters parents did, they respond appropriately. The fact that they apologized and completely removed the child from the play area says to me they were embarrassed by her behavior and probably had gone thru this at some point before and had warned her about it in the past. It seems to me like they were following thru with a promise that if she ever did it again, she would not get to continue playing, or something along those lines.

Third, it's possible your child will experiment with biting since she's experienced it herself, but I think she will only become a biter if that would have been her natural instinct anyway. My 21 months old nephew had never been bitten by anyone before and he is a very big biter, or at least he was the last time I saw him 2 months ago. His mom is now a stay at home mom so I'm guessing she's been working with him on that since then. My son, on the other hand has been bitten many times and he has not bitten anyone since he was much younger. He tried biting when he first started getting teeth, but it was short lived for him.

If I were you, I guess I would just watch your daughter closely the next time she is interacting with other children to see if she tries to bite anyone. If she doesn't, the incident probably scarred you much worse than it did her. And if she does bite, don't worry too much about it. Like another mom said, she will give those teeth a workout at some point, as all kids seem to do, but will probably only become a biter if that's really her nature. If it becomes an instant response, that's when you need to be concerned.

Good luck!

Unfortunately, some kids are just biters. They are not necessarily doing it to be mean, but they are just curious of the reaction. I think the parents handled it nicely. All you can do is apologize and remove your child from the area. Think of it as if you were the parent of the biter - always on your toes wondering if your child was going to bite. A dear friend of mine had to deal with this with her little one for almost a year. It was devastating to her. She was a nervous wreck and tried everything you can think of. It is upsetting to see your child hurt and crying over something another child did to her, but it's also part of growing up. Wait until your oldest bites her baby brother or sister. That's what I had to deal with a few months ago. That's a tough one.

Hi B.!

Yes, it is shocking when it first happens, but most kids do it at one time or another. The way the other parent responded was AWESOME!! That is not always the case and so be warned about it. Some parents don't care and others do.

My son did this as well and he also got bit too, so it is just a phase they go through when they can't communicate and get frustrated. I never paid too much attention to it, unless he bit someone else. He did it 3 times at school and they called and told me about it and of course I totally embarrased, so when he got bit, I just told them, oh well, it is his turn now and he will know what it feels like. He usually did this at MDO, so I wasn't always there to see how it happened and what they did.

But relax, she may or may not go through it. Girl, there is so much more challenges along the way! Take a deep breath, you just got started!

G. B.

I think her parents responded pretty well. It's when they ignore the kid and keep letting their kid hit/push/bite yours when you have to comfront them and they still don't act like they care. Now that's bad!

Since your baby got bitten, it could introduce her to this new behavior... but honestly, she would have most likely figured it out on her own! I know mine sure did!!

You have to remember that they are kids that for the most part don't know better and don't have evil intent. They are running constant scientific experimentation as the cause and effect. That being said, obviously biting is not appropriate and should be addressed! It sounds like the parents dealt with it and hopefully when your daughter does something crazy it is to someone who was as nice about it as you. I think some amount of biting is in your future, but not because she was bitten. Good luck. It is always an adventure.

I agree with the other responses. My son has come home from daycare at least 5 times with a note saying he had been bitten. Only once has a note come home that he bit someone. I stay out of it unless I witness it an trust that they put the guilty party in time out. Although mortified when it's your angel, I think it is part of being a toddler. They can get so frustrated when they can't communicate.

It sounds like the parents of the little girl responded appropriately. They were probably more appalled and embarrased than you were. That's a good thing. Personally, if the parent responds to the situation, I'm happy. None of can stop our child from doing these things, but our job is to handle it as it comes.

As far as what to say, all you can do is let the parent know if they did not see it. Just try to be calm, you are more likely to get a bad response with an accusaton. Most parents are nice about it and do the right thing. Keep in mind that next time it might be your kid who is the pusher, hitter, or biter (maybe not this kid, but maybe your next one). It does get easier the more your out and in the "mommy" world to respond to these situations.

My youngest son got bit (twice by the same kid) about 6 months ago (at 2 1/2) at a play area. The "parent" didn't respond and we didn't even know why he was crying until we got home that night and saw the marks. Now my son did do a little biting after that, but it wasn't really natural to him and with a little dicipline, he stopped.

Sorry this happened to your little girl.

My son who is 3 years old now, was bitten in childcare and on playdates. He has never, ever bitten. That's nice how parents of the little girl who bit your daughter, were pleasant about what happened and resolved the situation.