10 Year Old Son Trying My Patience!

My 15 yo daughter is still like this when I ask her to clean her room. If I take her iPhone from her, her room can be straightened/cleaned in 10 minutes. It is amazing what a little motivation can do😏

Well I don't know about your son, but mine, who is now an almost 20 year old college student, lived and breathed computer and video games at that age, and of course he had a few TV shows he loved.
I just made sure I connected whatever he "needed" to do (chores, shower, homework) with whatever he "wanted" to do.
The needs had to be completed before he got the wants. It worked well for us.
Instead of me nagging him about getting his work done it was his him nagging ME, when can I get on the computer? watch TV? and me just smiling and saying whenever your chores are done honey :-)

All I can say is I'm RIGHT there with ya! Lol

Breathe & smile?

I don't know... having read the previous responses you have gotten, maybe I am a slacker mom, or something, but...
My son sounds a little like what you describe... when he was also 9 or 10. He is almost 15 now, and I don't often have to remind him to do things he knows he needs to do (especially homework!). There was a time when I that wasn't the case. For me, the key was that my son (like you said with yours) had a good attitude about doing whatever it was (for the most part) and seemed willing to comply---just got distracted or forgot.
Well... I can do that sometimes too. So rather than be harsh about it, I would do what it sounds like you have been doing: prompt him by asking what should be happening. To me, that is different than nagging him to do something.
"Take out the trash."
"You need to take out the trash."
"X, come take out the trash."
etc.

When you ask him: "What hasn't been done yet?" it makes him think. And if he then is willing to hop up and do it, then I was good with that. My son's job at home has been to take out the kitchen trash (not on a schedule, but as needed--which sometimes is daily) since he was probably 8 years old. For a long while I had to say "A, come take the trash out." And then give little reminders after a few minutes. Or, I'd make him stop whatever he was doing (first) and call him to me (into the kitchen) and say, "would you please take the trash out".
Nowadays, I just call to him (if he is in the living room on the PS3 or whatever) and say, "A, the trash is full." and I know that within the next 20 minutes or so, he will come get it and take it out. This works for me. The fact that I just noticed the trash is full doesn't mean that nothing can happen until it goes out. There is no dire emergency that needs IMMEDIATE attention. So letting him play PS3 until his character dies so he can pause it at re-spawn is not a big deal. I wouldn't expect my husband to drop everything to take the trash out.... it's just courtesy, to let him find a good stopping place for whatever he is doing first. But, this is after years of conditioning him and his attitude being that of willingness. Whining/complaining and grumping earn less control over when they must comply with the request.

So, for me, I would just continue to give him thoughtful reminder prompts:
"Gary, do you remember what I asked you to take care of?"
"Billy, what were you supposed to do?"
"Tommy, I think I hear the trash calling from the kitchen... where's it supposed to be right now?"

Now, if the real problem isn't forgetfulness due to being involved in something else at the time you make the request, and is really that he just delays and puts it off and THEN forgets.... then I'd take a look at how you are asking to begin with. Do you call to him from across the room, or do you call him TO you and then make your desires known? Make sure you have his undivided attention right at the start.
If it is something like the kitchen trash... then start by calling him to you in the kitchen. Once he's already IN the kitchen, doesn't make much sense to do anything else first, except just take the trash out right then. If he has to go outside--say, "Tommy, put on your shoes and come here, please." Then when he arrives, then make your request about the trash.

Be logical and polite and good natured. And make sure you have his full and undivided attention before you tell him what you want. Don't even start until you know he is listening fully to you. This (in my opinion) is one the most overlooked mistakes when it comes to getting kids to do things. They just aren't listening to us because we talk before they are paying attention.

I agree with mamazita..
Maybe get him a check list for what you want done when? IE.. my son has 6 things he needs to do in the morning before school.
1. get dressed
2. eat breakfast
3. put breakfast dish in the kitchen
4. brush teeth
5. make bed
6. clean up any toys not in rightful place.

Not it does not have to be done in this order. If he wants to eat breakfast before getting dressed.. well then so be it.

Has he always been like this, or is this new?

Good luck

No help but to say we're in the same boat with my 11 year old.

I agree. He has to finish the chore before he can do anything else. When he doesn't get up and do it, turn off the TV or computer, take away the toy. Remove distractions.

He may still dawdle. That seems to be the nature of this age. Actually of most ages until they're older and been trained to do it now.

You could also try talking with him and give him choices of what to do and even when to do it. If he has a stake in getting it done, he's more likely to do it.

If taking away or not allowing other activities doesn't help. Give it a month or so. You could give him a time out. He has to sit on a chair without distractions until he's ready to get up and do it.

I like the idea of a timer. So, it stresses him out. Let it stress him. He'll learn that if he does what he's supposed to the timer won't bother him.

You simply tell him that he's not allowed to do anything else until the chore is done. No TV, no games, no reading, no playing, no eating, nothing.

It's a simple "If, then" scenario. "If you want to ________, then you must ________, and you must do it before______ (time)."

In my house, we start chores at 9 am on Saturday, after breakfast. If chores are not done by noon Saturday, then they don't get to play any video games, X-box, or watch TV that weekend. There's also nothing else going on until they're done (snacks, playing outside with friends, etc).

I don't go and remind them at all. They both have a watch on their wrist and know how to read it. When they're done, they come to me or Dad so one of us can inspect their work.

Yes, it will be frustrating the first few times when he tests you to see if you really mean what you say. But it won't take long until he realizes that his happiness for the rest of the weekend (or day) is his choice.

Be sure to remind him of that. "Son, whose fault is it that you aren't able to watch your favorite show tonight? Who chose not to finish their work in a timely fashion?"

We finish our family work quickly so that we can enjoy the rest of our day. The faster we do it, the more free time we have.

Oh, and for the shower, who cares if a timer stresses him out? He's 10. He can handle a little bit of stress. Set the timer for a 10 minute shower and tell him to be done and clean by the time it rings. If he's not, go turn the hot water on somewhere else in the house so his water runs cold. He'll learn.

My child has a snack when she gets home from school. Then, she wants to play w/ something. I say, "Sure...you can play as soon as your lunch bag is emptied and your dish is put in the dishwasher."

My kids are responsible for cleaning their rooms. This was a battle. So, I selected one day a week for this to be done. So, on Wednesdays, their rooms have to be cleaned right after the afterschool snack.

Mamazita is correct.

I have recently given my GD a list of her daily chores/responsibilities which includes things like having her shower taken by a given time; teeth brushed and ready for bed by a certain time, etc. The list is posted and she is to refer to it every day. I don't remind her; it's her job to get it done. The first day went fine; second day she missed her time deadlines. I didn't say anything until I tucked her in at which time I told her I noticed she missed her time deadlines and grounded her for the next afternoon. Since then, all chores/responsibilities have been done on time without myself or my hubby having to really be involved.