How Do You Divide Chores at Your House?

http://gail-hummingbirdhaven.blogspot.com/2009/07/just-cl...

Food for thought....

Hey H.!

My kids are older now but what I used to do was make a schedule. My kids had to have all their chores done before they left to school, or if in the summer, before t.v. or extracurricular activities.

On the schedule they had what they were supposed to do and what time it was supposed to be done by. If they had to clean the bathroom I allowed plenty of time to get it done. On the schedules they also had exactly how the chore was supposed to be done. For instance I literally put scrub bathtub, clean toilet and sink inside and out, take rugs out and shake them, sweep and or mop throw trash, put rugs back. I did that because then they'd "forget" to do it right or take forever to do it. I staggered some chores to eliminate fighting.

Now, if the chores didn't get done in the alotted time then after school they didn't have extra curricular fun or get to have friends over or t.v. or anything but more chores. I stuck to my guns. It was really hard at first but when they realized I was serious chores were no longer an issue at our house. I also rotated the chores weekly so they all learned to do everything and chores didn't get so monotonous for them.

I have 2 kids left at home and they're girls so things run much smoother now. They just know they get up and do chores before anything. One more thing. They all hated dishes so I made a deal with them years ago. I told they they never had to do dishes again but they were in charge of the rest of the chores (except my bedroom and bathroom). They all agreed to it! I still do the dishes everyday.

About me:
I'm self-employeed, work from home helping others to do the same. I love my job because it's all about helping others succeed. I'm married over 20 years. I have 4 kids 19 yo boy, 17 yo boy, 15 yo girl, 9 yo girl.

check out my website http://www.MomsWhoSucceed.com

You obviously have not tried MY chore charts!! ;) While they might be a bit remedial for your older kids, your 5 and 8 year old are our target audience! Visit www.mytimecalendars.com and try your hand at creating your own, fully customized (complete with your own photos or artwork) chore chart or calendar. Your kids can even sit down and build their own charts themselves! This gives them a true sense of ownership over their responsibilities. At our house, my kids mark off their chore chart each day and at the end of the week (usually saturday) we count up the number of squares they have marked off and they get 5 cents for every completed chore. Sometimes we take that money and visit the dollar store while some of my kids prefer to save their money for a "big ticket" item (like a build-a-bear certificate). It helps if you put up a picture of the item they really want to buy next to their chore chart so they always remember what they are working towards.

As for your older kids, I haven't quite hit that milestone yet so I'll be anxious to hear what other moms say. I have talked to some moms that have what they call "basics" where the kids have to complete their "basic" chores of the day before they get to do anything else. This seems to work really well for them.

But considering your littler ones, the best way to encourage good habits later on is to start early! Kids as young as 3 can start learning how to contribute to the family and are excited to have "responsibility" at this age so CAPITALIZE on that while they're small!!!

I hear you, it's a tough situation, I also have 4 kids and now that they are older, I do expect a bit more. I've explained that we all live in this house, we all make messes and we all need to pitch in to clean up and contribute. I've been trying to use the word 'contribution' rather then chore so it's not negative and that it reminds them of why they are sweeping or whatever.
I like the idea of the 'zone' although some zones have way more traffic then others and it gets to be unfair and in our house can build resentment.
We've recently tried the 'contribute what you can' and we'll pay for each, and that didn't work at all. Our daughter was doing a ton of work while the boys played and I didn't like the messages that were being sent.
So on that note I would have to choose to delegate chores, our kids have daily chores and larger weekend chores. They get paid small weekly allowances and can do extra work for more money and can be deducted if the job isn't done or done well.
In our minds, we're teaching the kids about what employers expect and how to handle specific situations that may occur in working environments.
I'm wondering if my oldest should be taking on more responsibility yet like you am concerned that this is first year of high school and don't want to overburden him...
Let me know what you decide to do and how it works out so I may learn as well!

first of all your kids will only be there at night granted but the house will still get messed during that time it is not like someone is there too much and not others.

I just thought of an interesting idea to try. make up a chore chart only put values up for chores.. cleaning the bathroom is a set amount the kitchen is a set amount ---- I would not say if you clean it for a week at a time but daily they would get pay for whatever they cleaned. try this for 2 weeks or so and see if they take this as a way of deciding how much they can or can not do. also to see if they leave you too much to do.

and get the notion out of your head that they are your floors, etc. if it was not for the kids you would have lots less to do. RIGHT?

always make their personal space areas that they clean without payment but docked pay if not kept cleaned. this includes the bathroom after a shower, taking their dishes to the sink. cleaning up after snacks, their bedrooms, their space they work on school projects.

In our home, because we were all busy and we all lived there, we had whirl-wind Sunday. I would cook a big breakfast and each of us would commit 1-1.5 hours to doing chores. We would do them fast. Which ever kid got up first threw his laundry in, parents did theirs on another day.

That way we could all do chores, the kids did homework, we did any outstanding work, they did laundry and they could still hang with friends for a while. Then we'd ask them to join us for a family dinner, and that was that.

It worked really well to stay connected, to get things done and low and behold as adults in their own lives they have kept up the Sunday rituals. They report it gave them structure to rely on and they don't feel as overwhelmed as some of their friends do who do chores whenever.

If you leave the chores up to them to do whenever, if ever, they won't get done, and you will bear the brunt of the work, which doesn't help them in their future. Someone will have a very good reason for not doing them each time you bring it up. My husband coined the phrase "we all live here, so we all clean here, period!"

Good Luck. S.
For more suggestions like this and so much more for toddlers and preschoolers go to ProActive Parenting dot net

My children are still young enough that they just help me with their own rooms and playroom. BUT when they complain about picking up the babies toys, I tell them they are a part of this family and that means they have to help out every where. I would sit down your children and say," I realize I may give you chores that involve cleaning where you did not make a mess but we are a family and as a part of this family, I need your help with chores around the house. I have resposiblities to that keep me from being able to clean the entire house myself, but the chores are still there and need to be done. As a family and in life, we help each other out."

This is a wonderful oppurtunity to teach them about life. Life will always have studies, sports, a job, etc but our lives are not about living just for ourselves but about helping others out in whatever way possible. Is 30 minutes a day of cleaning really going to hinder your older kids and keep them away from study time? No, I don't think so.

I would still give them chores and use this as a wonderful life tool for them. You are setting an precedent for their future attitude on respondibility and teamwork but also possible charity, love, and just a understanding of how its not all about them.

I think you have a good plan. Go for it!

We tried a chore jar for a while, but I found that my kids would choose to do the ones they liked or occasionally the ones that paid more, and I got stuck doing the rest. Although I know I do a better job, I figure that they are in training for running their own household, and what better time for them to learn and practice than now.

I do use a chore chart, but it is so simple. (I have two kids old enough to do chores, 13 & 10.) Each day before school one child unloads the dishwasher and if it's done after breakfast they also load breakfast dishes. The other takes out the trash and feeds our cat. After school, they have a variety of jobs, 1-2 per day, but only things that would take less than 15 minutes. That way, no matter how busy they are they can still find time to help. These include vacuuming (2x per week, and they trade off which area they do), folding their own laundry (2x per week), washing bathroom mirrors, gardening (which is assigned as per my choice) and extra chore day (which again is my choice).

I've found it helpful to alternate which child cleans which area. One child does a better job than the other, and that way it gets done well at least once a week. For helping out, they get a SMALL allowance so they can learn to manage their money as well. There is also a list of extra chores they can do for extra pay if they choose, but that rarely happens. If you would like, I could send you a copy. Just send me a message.