My daughter was involved in an accident at daycare where a half-sized pool table fell over on her mouth. It instantly knocked out 4 teeth and eventually 6 more fell out over the next several weeks (all baby teeth ... whew!). At the time, the lowsy daycare didn't even realize the extent of the accident and stuck her in a corner with an icepack (admonishing her for swinging on the table with another friend). We were contacted and asked to bring her another shirt as she had "blood on this one". Anyway - long story, we didn't like the sound of the phone call and got there as soon as we could (we work 45 mins away). By the time we got there, she was in a bit of shock and didn't make one peep while she was stitched up in ER and through x-rays to find one of the lost teeth (the others were eventually found on the floor by the clueless daycare employees).
Even longer story later, she is freaked out any time she sees blood in or around her mouth. She has what I would describe as an anxiety attack - she cowers on the floor/under tables, feels like she's gonna throw up, etc. Lucky for everyone, she lost so many baby teeth she only had a few more to go. Each lost tooth was proceeded/followed by a few days of holding her mouth open, talking funny, and drooling - because she doesn't want to taste or feel anything related to a soft tissue injury or blood in her mouth.
As you might imagine, working in her mouth is difficult and we have had to medicate her (once) when she needed molds for the orthodontist and had loose teeth (she was afraid the mold would pull them out). She tolerates the ortho work suprisingly well - as long as she doesn't see, taste or feel any blood, she's fine. Now that she's ten she's starting to lose her 4 molars and isn't brushing as well because she's afraid. Afraid to lose them and now afraid of the blood that is there from not brushing them as well. It's a losing battle!
She just got back from Girl Scout camp (had a terrific time!!) and for whatever reason, she rolled over in bed and bonked her bottom lip on the side of the bed. She woke up with a bleeding lower lip and freaked out. What a way to wake up at 2:45am! I just don't know how to help her. This obviously isn't a problem that is just going to go away. As it isn't often you see blood in your mouth, it's something we can't plan for. I'm convinced it throws her right back to the original episode emotionally - where she "thought she was gonna die" because of all the blood and just being left alone in a corner. I still don't think her ortho or dentist understand all the way that when she sees blood, she really can't handle it emotionally. I talked to a counselor about it before, but again, since it's years sometimes in between "episodes", it didn't seem like there was much to do. I don't know if I should invest in hypnosis or something ... or what. I just know she's "hurting" and I'm frustrated because I'll never make this go away for her.
Do any of you have experience with "trauma victims" as her doctor called it? Any suggestions on how to make this better? We are talking about a very stubborn girl who doesn't react positively to loving talks, helpful suggestions, descriptions of what will happen if she doesn't take care of her teeth, strict orders, or raised voices. She just doesn't want anyone messing with her mouth when there is something going on with it that involves any hint of blood. Help....
Thank you to everyone who responded! I immediately made an appointment for my daughter to begin therapy with a psychologies. After just one session, she lost a tooth (naturally) while chewing on a milk-dud. She really dealt with it beautifully and even let me take the dangling tooth out with my hands. She was still sick to her stomach and freaked out a bit, but I thought it was a huge improvement over the last event. About 4 sessions into it, we had to make an appointment to have several baby teeth removed that just weren't coming out. She wouldn't wiggle them, touch them, and it was like fighting tooth and nail (no pun intended) to get her to brush them when she knew they were loose. She was terrified to have them removed, but resigned that it was necessary. She only drooled and carried on for half-a-day after the surgery (who wouldn't?!) and was absolutely thrilled to be done with it! Now we've only got 2 baby teeth left in her head to deal with (poor thing only has two molars to chew with right now), but I'm convinced that with continued therapy she'll be so much healthier about any work in her mouth.
Thank you again to everyone who recognized that this was not something she would "grow out of" and recommended therapy. I kick myself that I didn't do it sooner, but glad that she's on the right track now. Thank you, thank you for the encouragement!!!
She might be suffering from pst - post stress traumatic disorder. You may want to find a therapist who works with this type of disorder.
Another option that you mentioned: hypnotherapy may,also, be good for her.
C.
Hi B.
Sounds like quite an awful experience for you all. Y suggestion is to look into some Post Traumatic Stress counselling for your daoughter, and maybe you since I'm sure you are being triggered too when she has episodes.
As you've seen, this isn't going to get better by itself, hopefully working thru some of her PTSD symptoms will give her some better coping mechanisms as she gets older
Peace to you all
L.
Hello,
There's a kind of therapy called "Cognitive Therapy" and friends have had success helping their kids with specific problems like your daughter's. With cognitive therapy you walk in agreeing that there's a problem, and within 10 to 15 sessions you walk out with new coping skills. As one of my friends put it, they give the child (person) some new tools in their toolbox to deal with issues as they come up.
The hard part may be finding a real cognitive therapist. Many therapists will say, yeah, I can do that, but they're not cognitive therapists. I had this happen to me, and four sessions in, nothing was happening. Frustrating! Maybe you can Google to see if there's a professional association for cognitive therapists? Or start asking around to see if somebody can give you a referral.
Good luck!
It sounds as if your daughter has post traumatic stress disorder. She could benefit from CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). If this is ineffective, medications can be dramatically helpful. Let me know where you live, and if I know any professionals in your area, I'll let you know. I think that she really needs professional help - anxiety disorders in children, if left untreated, can go on to become chronic adult disorders.
A little about me: I'm a child psychiatrist in Palo Alto. I have two kids, 18 and 12, and a lovely husband of 20 years.
I would consult a psychologist. I have a coworker in her 30s with a scar on her face, who recently confided that she had an emotional breakdown in the middle of a movie theater because something was depicted in the movie similar to the incident that caused her scar when she was a young child. She was terribly embarrassed. She didn't even realize she still held the trauma inside of her! The mind does strange things with trauma...
Your daughter's dental issues sound difficult, and I would hate to think of her getting as old as my coworker and still having those deep fears. = (
I would take her to a child psycholgist. They just have a way of calming a childs gears and really letting the child talk as they listen and offer advice on how to move on from an injury.
Hi B. -
I am so sorry your daughter is having to deal with this. This sounds like one of those traumas that go so deeply that they bypass the conscious brain because of shock and are then stored in the body - and when it is triggered, the reaction also skips the conscious brain and the body reacts directly. For this reason, I would be very careful about regular counseling - talk therapy is only helpful for conscious brain issues - you can talk about the trauma all day long - but the problem isn't with her understanding - she is fully aware of what happened - it is with her body's response, and the trauma stored there. Hypnotherapy gets a little closer to what you want, but it may not be enough - you need someone who can work with her subconscious responses. There may be therapists who have specialized techniques, and you can try to find one of these, but I would recommend Health Kinesiology here (or HK) - find an HK practitioner - this is their specialty. (Vivian Klein is an excellent HK practitioner located in Santa Rosa - she is worth the drive) Another practitioner I have been impressed with is Kevin Minney - this is also his specialty. Good luck with your daughter - I applaud your efforts to get this issue out of her life early - where it does not handicap her further.
There are counselors/therapists who specialize in trauma and fear. Contact a children's hospital in your area and see who they recommend. It may help her develop some emotional tools to cope a little better. They will probably really help, at least it is worth a try. Many also accept payments on a sliding scale if $$ is an issue (seems to be for everyone these days). I had several seriously scarring traumas and I think the issues tend to go underground if not dealt with and show up in other ways (confidence in the world, being fearful).
Some therapists offer EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing). This is a method that has been effective with trauma survivors. A website you can use to find resources about this is: http://www.emdr.com/ I have referred one child I worked with for this who was highly traumatized by things he had seen/experienced. It was very effective for him and I have heard good things about it.
R. F., MSW, LCSW
Maggi suggested EMDR work, which works quite well. Dr. Jennifer Lendl in SJ is an expert in EMDR. Her # is ###-###-####. Good luck with your daughter.
Hi B. -
I would definitely say she was traumatized and I am sorry she had such incompetent day care people. To bad you could sue their butts now, but what a tragedy for your daughter. And what you are describing sounds like post traumatic stress, as she continues to relive the original trauma. You need to get her into counseling as soon as possible. I would check with you insurance, and then look for someone who specializes in trauma with children. You don't have to set an appointment to find out about them. Call them on the phone, and have a set of questions prepared for them. Also, it would probably be good if one of them did Eye Movement Desensitization and Rationalization (EMDR). This is a process that uses rapid eye movement to retrain the brain about the incident and change the thoughts about it. It is highly effective if done correctly.
Good luck, and keep feeding her positive reassuring thoughts.
M. S
It seems to me that after 4 and half years if she is still having this kind of anxiety I would take her to a psychologist to help her work through that fear. I am surprised your doctor didn't suggest that considering he called her a "trauma victim". Things like this CAN be over-come, it is going to take time.
As a child I went to a dentist that felt that children had a lower threshold for pain, he would put in fillings with nothing for the pain! He would hold me down with his forearm across my throat. You can imagine that I developed a hefty fear of the dentist. (and no, my mom didn't know, she wasn't allowed in the room) I would hyper-ventilate in the chair, even for simple exams. It took being an adult before I was able to over-come my fear. I went and trained as a Dental Assistant. =) No better way to face your fears than head on! BTW, I ALWAYS insisted that parents stay and watch...as long as they were quiet and didn't increase a child's anxiety.
The point is, if you don't help her through this now it will be a lifelong anxiety that might morph into other fears. In my opinion it is well worth finding a therapist that will help her through it. I can recommend John Tompkins in Pleasanton...he is awesome. =)
B.,
She is clearly very traumatized by the incident. I would seek counseling to deal with the trauma and give her tools to help her whenever her mouth bleeds again. Talk therapy may help-to have her go over what happened, acknowledge how it made her feel, reassure her that she wasn't dying and if she was, you would be there to make sure she didn't. Hypnosis can help if she wants it to....Also, find a pediatric dentist that is extremely patient and gentle. She needs to have positive interactions at the dentist and someone who will take time with her to explain what they are doing etc. Good luck to you and your daughter~
Molly
