Hubby and I just endured a traumatic event that revealed that I probably have OCPD (obessive-compulsive personality disorder). When I read the entire wikipedia page I was shocked my picture wasn't on there. My husband actually joked the same. And now we’re wondering, should we avoid having children, based on this experience. That is why I came to this forum; I have seen other posts regarding OCD and this forum has moms on it, so I came here to get the advice of moms (and dads too if they are here).
What was the traumatic event, you may be wondering? We had been planning to get a dog for a few years, so we finally did it. We found the puppy we wanted. I'd never been around animals growing up, so I had no idea what to expect. Reading things on the internet about dogs did not prepare me for what happened. I was mostly doing this for him, because he has a need for the companionship of a loyal guard dog in his life. He grew up with dogs but hadn’t had a dog in years and felt a void that only a dog can fulfill. I love my husband, and agreed to give it a try.
We get the dog home and in its crate with food, water, and blanket, but within less than an hour, I completely flipped out. The dog pooped on the blanket (and it was runny) and peed several times within 30 minutes. But that wasn't the worst part. The doggy smell. Like a smell from hell. It filled up the entire house. Every room in my clean house. I imagined the smell getting into every corner, every cranny, the cushions, my clothing, the carpet, even non-fabric items. I felt filthy; I felt like I needed a shower right away; my skin felt dirty and I compulsively spit every 5 minute when I feel like I’m surrounded by filth. I was spitting the entire drive home (long drive) because I was the one holding the puppy and petting it. I felt dirty while holding the puppy because it stunk and I noticed it had fleas on its head which nearly caused me to flip out too, but I calmed myself down and got over it…
So back to the doggy smell and the horrible scene that played out. Hubby cleaned up the poo and pee messes because I flipped out and was curled into a ball on the sofa under a blanket crying. I realize this may sound hilarious, but in the moment, it wasn't. It was hell on earth. The "doggy smell" permeated everything, even after the poop and pee were cleaned up. So I knew that it was coming from the dog itself rather than its messes. We found out by calling several dog-owning friends that it would take up to 3 months for this smell to go away because you have to space out dog washings and it just takes time. No, no, no I could not handle this. I ended up screaming that this was a deal breaker; I would not live like this. I can't live like an animal and have my house smell like dirty dog.
In fact, I had told hubby this before getting the dog (I said dog smell would be a deal breaker), and I even told the guy we adopted the puppy from. He joked he'd leave a spot available for the dog in case we needed to return him...I thought he was joking...
I can endure short-term stinky smells like if the dog farts, which he did, on the drive home. Solution: roll down window and bad smell will go away. That's fine. It's fine because it's going to be gone, quickly. Or even if he pooped or peed on something once per month that would be ok because that's not very often and can be dealt with rather quickly. But I imagined him pooping and peeing constantly, and me being the one to clean it up. I wasn't willing to be a doggy maid and I wasn’t willing to allow my house to become dirty or smell filthy. The stink was the worst part. I cannot endure bad smells that will not dissipate within a few minutes. No, I cannot do that. I will not have my clean environment turned filthy.
I could not eat, I could not touch food or think about food even though I hadn’t eaten for over 10 hours and was starving. Appetite gone. Replaced with nausea. The smell nauseated me it was so bad. It’s ok if I have to put up with doggy smell at a friend’s house for a little while because I know that I can escape, get to my house where it’s clean, get a shower, throw my clothes into the washer, maybe add a little bleach if I feel it’s needed, and then it will all be over and I’ll be clean again.
You may be thinking I sound like a lunatic. You may be right. I don’t know. And in spite of how grossed out I felt while holding the puppy and petting him for hours on the drive home, and in spite of the fact that it pooped and peed and stunk up my clean house, I still felt like I loved the puppy and when hubby had to take it back we were both heartbroken and devastated. Anxiety overtook me almost immediately and I got almost no sleep that night, had nervous bowel movements for hours, etc. The only thing that brought comfort was cleaning. After the puppy was removed from the house I set about restoring order, which made me feel better to some degree. I vacuumed, swept, mopped, did laundry, dishes, etc. I had to clean up that which had been disrupted and contaminated. Contaminated. That’s the word I’ve been looking for. My house had been contaminated by the presence of this innocent, adorable, cute, lovable, stinky, dirty, filthy puppy. Even though he never even left his crate. Didn’t matter. His stink had already penetrated my house. Even with the door open and fans running and windows all open, the smell was still present. We waited up for 1 hour for it to dissipate. It did not. It lingered even with ample exits and fans blowing air out. This I could not and would not tolerate. Imagine how bad it would be with doors and windows closed again. A wall of thick stench penetrating and contaminating everything. No.
And so we returned the puppy. And it is with shock, depression, anxiety, fear, sadness, and a surprisingly new void in my heart that I write this. Do I have OCPD? Will I react this way if I have children? Children don’t stink up the whole house without stopping…there is no “child smell” like there is a “doggy smell.” But hubby is almost completely convinced based on this dog experience that children are out of the question now. Maybe he’s right. I don’t know. What do you think? Right now, I don’t know what to think…even after talking about it with hubby for hours already.
Go see a psychotherapist. Please. Ask them about EMDR as well as cognitive behavioral therapy. You are a perfect candidate. Get a referral, don't see just anyone.
If you are a troll, go see a psychotherapist. Please. Take this post with you to show them.
hm. well, yes, on the face of it it DOES look like OCPD and that you should probably avoid having kids.
but geez. what about going to an actual doctor to get a diagnosis? i mean, we're really no more reliable than dr wiki, and that's not much. the internet can diagnose you convincingly with everything from ebola to pinworms. you just can't ask an anonymous internet board something this important, and base your future on it.
i'm also rather horrified at the dog-seller. did you go to a puppy mill? there's no way a reputable rescue would have sent you home with a stinky flea-ridden dog, nor would a good breeder. so your judgment is very, very questionable. you don't find 'the puppy you want' and take it without way more in-depth discussions about the dog's health and care needs than 'i'll take it back if you don't want it.' and i'm troubled that nowhere in your post do you acknowledge the damage you've done to this puppy by taking it, filling it with anxiety over your reactions to it, and then returning it.
after calling some friends and getting some completely unprofessional advice that it will take 'months' to get your dog clean.
don't do that. don't EVER do that.
if your due diligence over a dog is this careless, and you base your decision about potential children and your own mental health off the internet, then i can say confidently that a) i have no clue about your mental state and b) you should definitely not have children.
but it's also possible that you have already made an appointment with a psychologist, that you've learned your lesson vis-a-vis animal adoption, and that you're just here bouncing off opinions and ideas while you really do follow up in a mature and thoughtful fashion.
but if you are curled up in a fetal position crying over a dog smell, i'm thinking parenthood is not for you. i'm sure you have fabulous and brilliant contributions to make to the world, but not everyone is meant to be a parent (or a pet owner.)
but you need to talk to someone other than your husband about it. even for hours. even with wiki backing you up.
khairete
S.
You desperately need professional help and a professional diagnosis.
Get off the internet trying to self diagnose yourself. You are fortunate to have such a supportive husband.
Please to do not get pregnant until you get help. An innocent child should not be brought into this type of environment with an unhealthy, unstable parent.
I think kids are completely out of question if you can't even handle a dog for more than a day.
Children don't stink up the house? My god, their shoes smell! Their rooms have smells because all living creatures smell. They also leave muck all over everything- I kid you not. I wash my main walls constantly! Floors? Twice a week. Light switches need to be constantly cleaned.
I clean constantly and the house is still dirty. A puppy is easy compared to a baby. I'm raising my second pup,and I have three kids.
Are you OCD? Who knows, but it sounds like you have some issues that kids would truly exasperate. Toddlers destroy whole houses in 20 minutes! And I'm afraid babies poop and pee every hour. Every hour. Then you have to potty train them. If you're lucky you won't have to rinse out dirty undies. They also spit up on you constantly for months! And they projectile spit up and cover you and everything else in sight. There are lots of bad smells and messes. Kids are dirty, messy and smelly.
Yes, therapy.
Nowhere in your post do you mention that you have a diagnosis from a doctor. You went online, found a list of symptoms, diagnosed yourself and are asking strangers online about advice on one of the most profound and life-changing choices a person can make--whether to have a child.
I don't say that to criticize. I say it in hopes you can look at your post and see that you are leaping light-years ahead of yourself here. Do not look at the Internet any more -- except to go to your insurance company's web site to find their list of therapists they cover, and which ones specialize in OCPD. Then find out first and foremost if you DO actually have it, and start therapy immediately. Please put the whole "should I have a child" issue out of your mind because you must first find out what is going on with yourself. People with many mental and emotional disorders do have children, but that issue should be the very last thing on your mind right now. If that's all your husband got out of this episode -- that you might never have kids -- he is not focusing on you. He needs to do that and help you get the help you need.
I would truly take your post, print it out, and carry it with you to the therapist. Please do this. The post is a detailed expression of your feelings and beliefs that your home was "contaminated" and that this permeated everything. It describes your anxiety, the physical symptoms you had, your mental state of believing your world was penetrated by smells. A doctor needs to read this, unedited, and you and your husband must work together to find out what's going on. You're right that your reactions as you describe them here are very extreme ones, and not healthy ones, but we cannot diagnose you and you should not diagnose yourself.
For your marriage's sake and for your own sake, focus first just on getting diagnosed and then focus next only on getting help for YOUR own life to be better -- not in order to have a child. You need your husband on board; you need to vow not to touch a computer to look up anything about this; and you need to see a professional ASAP.
Babies poop at the most inconvenient times. They have diarrhea which leaks out of the diaper. They play with their poop and sometimes smear it on the wall. They vomit. They do smell up the house. And more importantly, you'll never have a clean house again. You will not be able to control your baby or expect that they'll do what you want. You will lose control of your life as it is now.
If this question is for real, this is not the first you've had a traumatic incident. You already know there is something out of whack in your ability to cope. Your reactions are interfering in a major way with your life. You know that if you don't get help, you'll have mind splitting traumas for the rest of your life.
You don't know you have OCPD until you see a psychiatrist. What you describe is caused by much more than OCPD.
No, you should not have a baby.
I think that at minimum, you need to get some therapy because that just sounds miserable. My BIL is a germaphobe and has mild to moderate OCD and yes, it does affect his marriage, his kids, and his life. It's not a lot of fun for him or anyone else, even though they make a lot of compromises like he buys stock in disposable gloves and uses them for everything. Bottom line - You need a real diagnosis and treatment, not talking to us. If you can get a handle on it, THEN think about children. But right now I'd focus on your mental health. I think that your husband has legit concerns - kids do have smells, make messes, are messy (blow out diapers...for starters), and are unpredictable. If you are not able to handle that, then far better to admit it and see if this can be managed enough to take care of children, or not. I think that rather than you and DH trying to hash it out, you need to seek a professional who has experience with anxiety and OCD.
First only a doctor can determine if you have OCPD.
Since you have never had a pet this is all new to you and the doggy smells, pee and poop all go along with bringing up a puppy. Babies pee, poop, puke, spit up, get gooey boogers when they cry a lot, etc.. They are also humans that cannot be controlled like a pet and you can't just take it back.
I recommend you get therapy before having a child. No one knows if you will react this way with a baby, but you must consider how your reactions would effect your child if you choose to have one. You should spend time with someone that has children/babies so you can see first hand what it's like.
Just a note to add to what has been said below. Your post says "I just found out that I have...." - but you really didn't find out. You diagnosed yourself on Wikipedia, which isn't written by any particular authority and which does not in any way take into consideration your personal medical history, your symptoms, your family history, and much more.
I think you and your husband were woefully unprepared for a dog, and you were sold a puppy by an irresponsible seller who didn't make sure the proper conditions were in place to make a good match. No one addressed your fears about a dog having a smell - so neither you nor your husband had any experience with dogs to know enough about this. Not a good start. Precautions weren't taken to treat for fleas either - not your fault, but not the puppy's either. Your puppy was stressed, and had bowel issues. Interestingly enough, you got stressed out and had bowel issues yourself. You cannot re-home a dog like you can a goldfish - they have emotions and form attachments and need security. So no one should EVER adopt a dog (or cat) without the absolute intent of making this a "forever" commitment. No one made that clear to you, but now you know.
There are so many things that can be done for a variety of anxiety and obsessive disorders. Please print out your post EXACTLY as you wrote it here (no edits, no shortening it), call your primary care physician on Monday morning, ask for a referral to a therapist (either a psychiatrist who is an MD or another therapist who has a working relationship with an MD). There are behavior modification techniques, talk therapy, a variety of desensitization techniques, and much more that can be done. But you must go in with an open mind and say, "These are my symptoms and my feelings and my worries" and NOT "This is my diagnosis." You are depriving yourself of good results by determining, by yourself or with your husband, what you have and what should be done about it.
Do not have any further discussions about children until you get help from a professional and objective source. Your husband is not that source - he loves you and he wants the best for you, but he is not a professional, and he didn't work out the dog situation too well with you, now, did he? It's not his area of expertise, that's all. It's pointless to discuss kids because you are focusing on one major life decision when you should be focusing on how this condition (whatever it is) affects so many other things in your life. First things first.
Honey....you have severe anxiety....as you discovered this past few days how bad it is...how bad it really is when you are not in control of your environment.
Sounds like OCD but we can't diagnose you over the internet. All I know is it is some form of anxiety issue from what you describe.
You do need a therapist...you can start with a psychologist (they don't prescribe medication) and work on talking about these issues. If your psychologist feels you need more help than they can give you they can then refer you to a psychiatrist that can prescribe medication if you need it. Ask if they use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) it is very very very successful in treating anxiety issues without medication.
These issues need to be addressed whether you have children or not because living with severe anxiety is no way to live a full life.
I would put children on the back burner don't make a decision right now....just seek some help for you now...then when hopefully this is no longer an issue for you....then start talking about children again. (Having anxiety isn't a deal breaker in having children...you just need to fix it first so you can be a healthy role model if you do decide to have them.)
If your first therapist isn't a good fit for you keep looking it can take a few tries to find one that you "click" with and will really help. Like I said ask if they treat severe anxiety issues and use CBT...that will get you started in the right direction.
Good luck and big big hugs!! You can beat this and live with a freedom you never knew existed with the right help. Be thankful you have such a supportive husband let him know you are going to get help for this and I am sure he will have your back...take him with you to therapy and let him work with you as well.
You can't fix something you don't know is broken....you know it is broken, so work on a fix!!
Oh, sweetie. As soon as folks start coming back from their holiday break, get yourself in to see a psychiatrist or therapist or both. Depending on how your insurance works, you may need to start with an appointment with your primary care physician to get the referrals you need. The good news is that you've recognized, through an agonizing experience, that you need help. Now go and get it.
If you remain untreated, your husband may be right - maybe you shouldn't have children. In your current state of mind/health, I think the stress would be horrible for you, your spouse, and your child.
With treatment and support, you may find that your life feels different (in a good way) and that kids are something you can handle.
I think there is absolutely NO WAY any of us out here in internet land can help you.
You curled up on the couch in tears because of dog smell.
That SCREAMS professional help to me. Not mamapedia help.
HOWEVER....as someone who was diagnosed as extremely depressed with a healthy side of anxiety, I can tell you that living with a mental illness does not mean you can't have kids. I have 3 fantastic children and my depression and anxiety are controlled by medication.
Good luck to you,
L.
Welcome to mamapedia.
You need to see a licensed, practicing physician to get a diagnosis. The internet is NOT a doctor and cannot diagnose you.
I can't imagine life without a dog. Our dog died on this 5th birthday this year in June. It was devastating. The dog you got was not for you nor your family. Nor do I feel like you went into with the right feelings. You were determined to "hate" it - you were DETERMINED to hate the smell - so you made it "fit".
Children? Well - yeah - they stink. Boys who are active stink up the house their whole lives with sweat and boys smells! If locker room smells do you in? Boys smells in your home are like that - my boys? Soccer, baseball and LAX - yep year round!! Their gear is in the garage!!
Girls - yep - they can stink too!
I'm NOT trying to scare you - but this is life. You need to seek a therapist and a doctor who can diagnose you. Print this post out and take it to your primary care physician and tell him/her you need help. Then get to the doctor, get examined and tested and get therapy. DO NOT live your life in fear. Seriously. GET HELP!
I'm with OnePerfectOne and Julie S. on this one
You......were spitting every five minutes for a long drive home.....
.......was curled into a ball on the floor crying.........
.......could not sleep at night and had nervous bowel movements for hours..........
Over a puppy, and your conclusion is that you should not have children and that you should ask strangers on the internet what we think?
Good luck on your paper....let us know what grade you get.
I would deduct a full letter grade though because the person you are describing would not be functional enough to write so logically and 'line up' the events to lead the readers to the answer you are looking for.
(This question does seem a little trollish, but...)
Yes I think you have OCPD. Your behaviors fit the definition. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsiv...
You could also check out Mayo Clinic, etc. etc. and find something similar. Despite the fact that we on this site can't officially diagnose you, your behaviors are characteristic. No one person exactly fits any one diagnosis. All brains are different. So 'Dr. Rosebud' will brazenly dare to diagnose you with OCPD. But having had some personal experience with this issue, I will also dare to say that doesn't mean you can't have kids.
You should see a therapist, because while many people have some degree of OCD, your reaction was extreme. I can relate a little to not liking smells in my home and sometimes feeling like certain things contaminate it (not as much these days, thankfully), but I have found that once you get used to something you stop feeling that way. I think that if you had kept the puppy, once you had washed it enough times, gotten used to its habits and felt like it was your puppy (and by extension your germs and your smell), you would have been okay with this. I think you gave up too soon.
One of the best remedies for OCD behavior is forced exposure to the offending thing. Avoidance, which is what you did, strengthens OCD, which you don't want to do.
Your kids will be yours, you won't be picking them up from a pound, so it's very unlikely you will have this reaction to them. But kids do make messes, and you will spend your life freaking out about the messes if you don't get a handle on your OCD. In any case, you don't want to live like this, so kids or no kids, you should be treated for your problem.
Good luck.
A therapist or psychiatrist is something to think about.
Maybe some meds.
Kids go through stinky periods - when they are in diapers, when they are in puberty, when they have sweaty stinky shoes, etc.
Skipping kids might be a very good idea.
Not everyone is cut out for it.
Being a kid and having a mentally unstable parent - it's a horrible way to grow up - my Mom went through it - she just turned 80 and she's STILL dealing with the trauma of her childhood.
Additional:
Yeah, this does sound like some sort of research project.
Something along the lines of "How dysfunctional do I have to be before people recommend me not to have children".
Just because you have the ability to create a child doesn't mean you have to or should.
Plenty of dysfunctional people have kids without giving it any serious thought - not the first time or the fourth time or any time in between.
That you can ask the question at all is one positive thing - but stay on some very reliable birth control until you get to a much more stable part of your life.
Mel R said it great--you definitely will want to talk to a mental health professional, and follow her suggestion to print out what you wrote here. An experience like this one which shocked you into a new perspective of your inner world is pretty hard to describe, and your post does it well. As for the question about having children--there's no way you can get any kind of clarity on that point until you've gotten clearer about what's in your head and how to work with it. First things first, sort out your head with a professional, and then you can think about other questions, such as kids. Wishing you lots of luck!
I agree with other posters, please seek professional help. I would never tell you that children are "out if the question," but you need to be in a better place before you add a child to the mix. I have two boys, 8 and 5. Babies in diapers definitely cause gross smells, but they have nothing on my boys. The high anxiety that you describe here would be a nightmare while raising children. Don't try to convince yourself that there is no "kid smell" so you will be OK. I am not overly sqeamish and I have dealt with many a situation that made my stomach turn with kiddos. Get help first. Put kids out of the immediate plan. Prioritize finding a healthy place for yourself, then work with your mental health team to discuss the best time to think about adding children to your family.
ETA: As a few others have said "the Internet is NOT a doctor."
I'm sorry if I'm completely off base.
I call troll.
Who sells a dog and sends it home with "fleas on his head"?
Who puts food and water in a dog crate?
If you seriously experienced all this? You need to find a therapist ASAP.
Deciding whether to have kids or not is about #475 on your To Do List.
If this is your experience, you need to get therapy and help before even considering having children. No one here can diagnose you and this isn't meant to be mean, but you need serious help. Good luck. I think most people here would feel unqualified to offer any other opinions.
Please see a doctor. You need help. I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm saying that because your anxiety it horrible. You need to get a grip.
I have four boys. They stink. It gets worse they get older. Especially during puberty.
Please see a doctor. You need to be properly diagnosed and treated. You CAN manage this. The internet is NOT a doctor and CANNOT diagnose you.
Please tell me you have a psychiatrist. If not, get one immediately. Reading your post made me sad and honestly, I am hoping this is a fake post. Sweetie, you need Profesional help. Your husband is very tolerant and understanding, so with professional help, you have a good chance of getting this under control. I wish you the best.
Please, please go get a psychiatrist who specializes and start seeing someone immediately. What you are describing is really bad. You need help! I think you should see some kind of therapist for a year before deciding anything. If you have a baby you will have to deal with liquid poop blow outs out the back of the diaper that go all the way up their back. You will have to deal with bad smells. You will have to deal with vomiting. You will have to deal with runny noses, dirt, messes, you name it. My oldest child is 11 now and he has really stinky body odor - DAILY! Even after taking a shower/bath...the next day he is smelly again and so are all his friends. When they come over to play his whole room smells like boy odor. PS - Not all breeds of dogs have a smell. Our dog has no smell at all unless she rolls in something stinky. In fact, she smells good when I hug her and put my face in her fur. Some breeds seem to be prone to doggy smell though. You have to bathe them more often I guess. I feel bad for your husband...it is very important to me to have a dog companion in life.
I'm so sorry. I don't think you are a lunatic (your word). I don't know if you have OCPD. You haven't told us enough about you except for the dog. I DO understand not understanding what you're walking into, despite researching and being told by others. (My husband took numerous trips to India before I went, and had told me plenty. I thought I was prepared. Boy was I wrong! I cried everyday while I was there and it took me a long time to get over it. That REALLY surprised me.)
Children are messy. They're stinky. They don't react the way we expect. You have to be able to think through every developmental stage and roll with the punches. If you cannot be flexible, you will have a really hard time with children.
Love does help overcome a lot of things. Smells, blood, vomit - when it's a little child you're in love with, you can cope if you are "normal". If you have irrational fears or phobias, maybe not. (I had a friend whose aunt had an unhealthy fear of dogs and ran screaming from one she encountered on a sidewalk, leaving her baby in a carriage on the sidewalk, alone. The dog was just walking with it's owner on a leash!)
What I suggest that you do is find a therapist who works with OCPD. First of all, you need to know if this is a valid diagnosis. Sometimes it's not full-blown, but just aspects of it. There IS help for OCD. The question is, will it be enough?
Another thing - what do you do for a living? Have you chosen a profession that is extremely organized and everything "in the box", so to speak? CAN you deal with life throwing you monkey wrenches? If you aren't working right now, consider going to work in a daycare. You won't make much money, but you can learn alot about yourself working with children and watching others work with children. ONLY interview with good daycare centers. NOT where they let kids watch TV, yell at the kids, ignore the kids, etc.
You need to work HARD to decide this. Not just think about it. You MUST be able to cope, and you need to know if you can. If you can't, then that's valuable knowledge that you must pay attention to.
I have a background in mental health and have worked with people with both OCPD and OCD. There is a difference.
You need to call and find a therapist on Monday. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!
One of my dear dear friends has a husband with OCD. She has NEVER cleaned house. He keeps their house spotless. Can't stand anything out of place. It's not all bad.
A therapist will be able to help you work through those thought loops you're having. The ones about the smell getting everywhere and stuff. Yes, dogs and cats stink. That's why they get baths. Yes, dogs and cats have fleas sometimes, that's why they get dipped or treated every month with flea preventive meds.
There are so many different medications out there that can help you too. I remember a Monk episode where he took some meds and was a completely different person. They work when it's the right med for your body.
I'd like to suggest that you babysit for family or friends. Have support there to take care of the kiddo but you are it's first caregiver. Diapers, feeding, etc...you need to break into this in stages. Find out if you get used to it. My niece gagged and puked when she babysat infants/toddlers when she was a teen. She would gag and puke. But the more she did it the more she got used to it. Then when she had her own kids she was a pro at it and did fine.
BUT without meds, therapy, and experience over time you are not going to be able to find out if you will ever be able to have the experience of having children.
I DO NOT believe that people with this problem should NOT have kids. I believe that you can have a full life with as many children as you want. BUT you have to have the support you need so that in time, when you're ready, you will be successful as anyone else at parenting and caring for those little ones. Even if they have OCD or OCPD.
It's not a "get fixed now" sort of thing. I think you can do this if you want to have kids but I do think that overall you need to get started on the path to treatment so you can be accept yourself more and feel good about the positive things you have.
.
Odors do not seep in and contaminate things. They can be annoying, but they do not cause other things to be dirty or filthy, and a bad smell certainly does not cause your house to need to be swept and mopped.
OCPD is quite rare and difficult to treat. OCD is treatable with meds and exposure therapy, please clarify for yourself. This is not a reason to not have a baby.
