10/11 YO Boy Chasing to Read Instead of Listening in Class.

Let the teacher handle the in-class stuff. He broke the rule, he gets to live with the consequence.

As for getting wrapped up in a book to the point where he doesn't notice things around him, well, I can totally sympathize with him. I do it. My son is the same too. All I can say is to give him notice and be specific to the book, not the clock. For example, say "Joey, you can read until the bottom of that page, then it's time to go" or if you can give more notice "Joey, how many pages until the end of that chapter? Ok, you can finish that chapter, then you need to put the book down." Saying "we have to go in 5 minutes" doesn't work for a reader, because 5 minutes can seem like 5 seconds if it's a crucial part of the story!

I would let the teacher handle it. But I would talk to him about how he needs to show respect to his teacher and there is a time and place for everything. I don't think you need to do anything else.

I was like this. I still get so lost in what I am reading that I am oblivious to the world. Now I am an English professor. Still, I do understand that he needs to pay attention. I think removing his book from his desk is a great idea. Then if he finishes his work, he can walk to the agreed upon place and get his book.

My oldest grandson just got in trouble for the same thing.He got detention because well its rude to basically dismiss the teacher's lesson opting for reading something for your own enjoyment.

You ask what else can be done? How about telling him that he's in school to listen and learn. No book at his desk. Sorry if he's bored. Life isn't always exciting and sometimes you just have to sit there and participate in things that don't interest you. You back up the teacher every step of the way on this and let him know that its not ok.

At home when he ignores you you walk over and take the book away and tell him to get his butt in gear. You don't let him decide when and if he'll listen to you. He's being rude.

I understand that you feel weird that he's being punished for reading but really its not about reading. Its about respecting adults and the requests they make.

Well, it sounds like your son is visual - a visual learner, much more attuned to visual things than auditory.

So use that sense. It's not a problem - it is simply a difference, in the way that some people have a great sense of color and style, and others have perfect pitch and rhythm, and others become sculptors or architects because they have a knack for spatial sense and touch and the way things fit together.

Instead of telling your son "we need to leave at 10 am", simply write it on a post it note. Post a schedule for the day on a dry-erase board. 6:30 am. Dressed for school. 6:45 be eating breakfast. 7:20 in the car (or at the bus stop). Repeated requests that are spoken will probably not even register. Written words might work.

My son was once having problems in class - he was humming. He had been homeschooled while we lived overseas and would hum to himself while doing his homework alone in his room. Then when we returned and he was in a regular classroom, he'd hum. The teacher would continually remind him not to, etc. Finally she made an index card, laminated it. It said "don't hum. work silently". Instead of telling him not to hum she would walk past his desk and place the card on it without a word. He'd see it and it would register with him and he'd stop humming. She'd take the card away as soon as he stopped, and re-use it as necessary.

Use your son's strengths to help him develop self-control.

Books are his currency - so use it.
Reading is a treat for him - so the quickest way to fun is to get the work done.
Once homework and chores are completed THEN he can read to his hearts content.
In class - he can't read unless his work is finished and the teacher gives him the ok to read.
In fact - maybe she can hold a book for him and only give it to him once he's earned it.
It's GREAT he wants to read - but he's got to work on his priorities.

It's hard to be upset when a child wants to read so much, isn't it? But that's not a practical way to grow up.

I wouldn't consider moving him to a higher grade, not at all. He doesn't yet have the maturity or self control to manage the grade he's in, let alone a bunch of kids a year older. Just because a kid says he's bored doesn't mean that you automatically give him more challenging work.

If the initial punishments don't motivate him to self-correct to earn the privilege, he may need additional support services for developing the ability to focus and for understanding that education is not just about doing what he wants whenever he wants to.

I would stop giving him so many chances at home. He may be taking his sweet time because you just keep repeating the same behavior - he has no reason to do it the first time because you give him 2nd and 3rd and 8th chances. If he doesn't get his shoes on after you've interrupted him enough to make significant eye contact and give him instructions, then he pays the price: he doesn't get to go to soccer at all, and you don't enroll him in the next session or any other paid activity because it's a waste of money. When my kid didn't want to stop what he was doing to get ready for school, I told him we'd go when he was ready. And I reminded him of the school rule, which is to check in with the office before going to the class, at which point he could sit down with the Principal and explain to her in his own words why he didn't think it was important for him to be in school on time every day. That took care of it in our case. Keeping the whole family from getting to church is a problem, but you could try telling him that you are sure Pastor X or Father Y would be very interested in hearing his reasons for why it's okay to disturb the service by arriving during other people's worship time, and the clergy might have some ideas for him. But I would certainly take away the book he's reading at home, and everything else (Legos, games, whatever is important to him) until he learns to get ready when he's told. It's fine to give a 5 minute warning and a 2nd reminder, but that's it. Tel him what the deal is going to be from now on, make sure you're completely consistent and that your husband is too, and follow through.

If it doesn't work in your case and it's really beyond his control even if you are consistent every time, you may have something else going on. He might need to be evaluated for focus or attention issues, at which point a therapist could help you with specific strategies for his particular issue or disorder.

Your son is in 5th grade. Work is going to get much harder in 6th and 7th grade and beyond, and he cannot afford to fall behind by fooling around in class. Parents cannot be constantly reminding a child of that age to do what he's supposed to do and listen to the teacher.

My very bright brother use to do this all the time. He would not wait till the teacher gave directions and would have the page done before she was thru with her instructions. No he did not need instructions and yes he got the page right but the teacher told my mom that if my brother learns one thing that year it would be to listen and wait for directions. He hated it when she would take the finished paper up and give him a new paper to do over. But you know what it was really good for him and a learning experience that he never forgot. Same with your son wanting to read instead of doing what others are instructed to do, good lesson for him and you need to support the teacher. He will be fine and move ahead quickly.

well, it's a relatively benign form of disobedience, isn't it?
sounds like the teacher is a sensible sort who has given him the most obvious and immediate natural consequence.
i wouldn't make it a huge deal at home. kids drag their feet over lots of things and in lots of ways. reading isn't something i'd ever dream of taking away, but you can always impose something else if it's really out of hand.
i seem to remember constantly dragging 10 year olds around by the ear, though. they always push it out until the last second.
actually, i do that now, and i'm 57.
:) khairete
S.

What a sticky situation! You must be so proud that he loved reading, however, he needs to follow the rules. And it's not like taking his one device away since it's a book.

Maybe try rewarding him rather than punishing him. If you do so and so when asked, you can buy a book or go to the library.

I'd definitely bring the school psychologist into this. He or she may have some pretty simple solutions for you.

I help out in my childrens' classes and there about 3 boys that do this every day. I ask them if they heard the directions and sure enough they have! Every single time. They are very smart kids!! After watching this for a few years, my educated guess is that they are bright, heard the directions and are too bored to sit there while waiting for the rest of the class to catch up. I would just tell your son to make sure he's listening to all directions, being respectful of the teacher and giving his full attention to her each time it is requested. I think he'll be fine. Just reiterate that there are rules in school.

Um, it's almost hard to believe that this isn't a troll post. A kid getting in trouble for reading, who'da thunk it.

What's she teaching that's so much better than a kid reading a book? Sure I'm an English teacher, but no matter what I'm teaching them, I never discourage a kid from reading.

How about if you grab his soccer shoes, guide him to the car with his book in hand, and let him put the shoes on once he gets to the soccer field.

I don't know what to tell you to do about it. I did the same thing as a student and so do my kids. I think it is because we are visual learners. We learn from reading the notes, handouts and textbooks, but do not get anything from listening to the teacher teach, other than bored. I would read and understand the chapter in the textbook in a couple of minutes then listen to the teacher read it or talk about it for another 20 minutes. I already understood the information, so it was boring listening to the teacher, so I would read a book or read ahead in the textbook. I would say allow him to read if he is getting the information, but if he is struggling with the work put a stop to it.

This probably isn't the answer a teacher would like to hear, but I was a C- student through school until I got to college, when I excelled. I found most of the classes in earlier grades to be boring and not reflective of my interest. I read constantly...I mean constantly..even walking home! I finished college in three years with two majors and won a few academic awards.

I guess what I'm saying is: Reading for me was the most important factor in my academic and professional success.

I would let the teacher handle the issue at school. At home, take the book away from him. My 12 yo grandson plays on my tablet and watches TV instead of getting dressed. I take the tablet away from him and turn off the tv. He's only with me 1 day/week. So it took about a month to get him trained. He can watch TV after he's ready to go. I still have to check on him once about 10 minutes after he's awake. Just seeing my face reminds him to turn the TV off.

My grandson has Aspergers, ADHD, and is in special ed. He needs more reminders than some children. It can be difficult to be patient. I've found that an immediate unemotional reaction without comment works best.

I suggest putting money in a jar each time he's ready on time or make a mark on the calendar. After so many marks he gets something in which he's interested and doesn't already get routinely. My grandson likes to go to the Nickel Arcade. After the first visit our Arcade send cards giving "coins") so playing costs less. My grandson would also respond to money if he has a goal to buy something. My daughter also gives him an extra night with me when he does his chores when they should be done.

We would be glad if my grandon would read. He dislikes reading and writing.

Perhaps if you praised him for liking to read before giving consequences. I'm proud of you for reading. However, please put your book away and put on your socks and shoes.

He needs to pay attention in class. That's his job. Right now he has decided that whatever the teacher is talking about doesn't really interest him. He's not bored because he's too advanced. He's bored because he's not interested. That's tough, but that's like.

Don't worry about taking away his book. It's great that he loves reading, but he needs to realize that sometimes you don't get to do what you want to do until you do what you have to do - like listen in class or get your shoes on or do your homework or whatever.

Reading is great! It's great that he loves to read, especially when many kids don't. But he still has to do what he has to do before he gets to do what he wants to do.

Similar to what Diane D says below, I think we need to NOT focus on this being about "reading - awww, a boy who loves to read"! He is a 10-year-old who will be headed to middle school / high school soon. This is about respect (of you, of the teacher) and following rules.

Books are individual things. They can be moved. I suggest that you CAN and SHOULD move all of his books to a location that you control (your bedroom closet, etc). Control his access to his books until he shows that he has developed greater self-control about reading and listening. (And of course, tell him that - you can explain what he needs to do to earn back personal possession of multiple books.)

This is basically the at-home version of not allowing him to have a book in his desk - not allowing him easy personal access to so many "items of distraction" (let's put it in those terms, to get our minds out of the "awww he loves to read" concept).

In a way, I would analogize this to cookies. Mature children who show self-control can be "trusted" around cookies, can have personal access to cookies, etc. Can be trusted not to eat them all and be too full for dinner later, etc. But until a child shows the ability to do that, parents control access to cookies, and a child has to ask to have one.

I don't know what to say that will help in this situation.. except that he is a child after my own heart..

Once I discovered the ability to read words that opened up a whole new world for me.. my own reality was difficult with divorced parents, separate homes, and new step people coming into my life.. reading was my escape.. I was able to hide my feelings by just distracting myself with pages upon pages of fiction and nonfiction..

Now I have a son who is just the opposite.. not a fan of reading.. he just reads the mandatory 20minutes a day during the week for his Reading class..

Maybe find a happy medium for him. So he can enjoy his reading, but ensure he listens in class, and at home..

If I had this boy in my class I'd be smiling. I did the same thing all my way through school, even through college and actually listened to the teacher while reading. I am laughing here- Now I can watch TV and read at the same time. Seriously, whatever is happening in the story is more interesting to him than his lesson in class or at home. Teachers spend massive time encouraging students to read and working on reading comprehension. Here she has a student who is 'there'! And she complains? Differentiate, check out what he's reading and have him do a quick write on what he just read, write predictions on what will come next, analyze characters & their motivations, devise a new ending, etc. She can enrich and take him to the next level individually. Also the teacher can award him preferred activity time i.e. quiet reading time when he has completed tasks or lessons. People who read understand life and it's situations much better than those who don't. Your son is already successful at one of life's hardest tasks, reading!

I answer this as a lover of books who has spent an incredible amount of time lost in the worlds that books bring me as well as a mother of at least 2 children who get lost in this way.
I absolutely hate to take a book away but we have. As a matter of fact, we just did it this past weekend. Our oldest has been losing himself in books & not wanting to go outside to play, watch a movie with the family, or do anything really that wasn't laying around with his nose in a book. I understand that he's wrapped up in this amazing world but the real one was passing him by so my husband banned books for a day & guess what...he survived. He spent the entire day outside building a fort, helping build a ninja obstacle course with his sisters, and goofing off as a family. He got the book back the next day but we spent the majority of it hiking at a local state park so he only read in the car.
Sometimes they just need a bit of a reset & perhaps redirection. I'd let the teacher handle it at school but at home, I'd make a strong effort to do things where he won't have the ability to get lost for hours at a time. Go hiking, play at the park, swimming, puzzles, board games, make it more about doing other things rather than about not reading.

My daughter did this as well! Especially in Math. She would have her math book up with her Nancy Drew inside it! We did have to address this with her. I hated to take books away but that was what we had to do. The teacher was really good with her and they powered through it.

I will admit that I read a lot. I would not hear anything around me. My husband says a bomb could go off and I wouldn't hear and he's right! When the kids were little, I couldn't read until they went to bed. =)

Perhaps he needs to have a parent who goes through his things in the morning and doesn't allow him to take books to school?

Seems like it's your job to keep the books at home.

My guess is that he is having problems with auditory processing, and listening to verbal directions is something that is difficult for him to do. This is pretty typical of kids who do this behavior. There are some things you can do if you are interested let me know.

He's tuning her out - her instruction, and of course that's not ok, even if it reading, which we all encourage. It's just an appropriate time and shows her (and the rest of the class) disrespect. For me, when my child was chatty (somewhat bored in class and having finished his work) what worked for us was to stress that some kids have trouble concentrating or find school a bit more challenging, and if they see a child reading and doing his own thing - it's distracting. My kid didn't want to impact the learning of his friends and peers - so that was a constant reminder to him. It helped.

If he's tuning you out when it's time to get ready - then what might work is giving him a head's up - ten minutes till we leave. Five minutes - we're going. Or lose the privilege - it doesn't matter that it's a book. Or what else might work is - get everything else done first, even shoes on, coat ready, bag by door, etc. then you can read.

I think you got good feedback but just had to share that my now 12-year-old was like this in 5th grade. At our spring parent-teacher conference, the teacher shared this with me and then admitted that she didn't quite know what to do about it and just let him read because it kept him quiet and less disruptive (he normally talks a lot, often without being called on). She said that she would throw questions out to him like the she did to the rest of the class and he could answer so he was picking up the material that the class was going over but was also reading a book at the same time. She chose to let it go, but I let her know that whatever she decided to do in the classroom was fine with me. Let the teacher manage it.