Hi All,
My 1 yr old has been sleeping through the night great from 3 months old up until about 2 weeks ago. Now he's waking up once or twice in the middle of the night screaming. We'll pick him up and he falls back asleep in my arms within about 5-10 minutes. Then as soon as I put him back in his crib, he starts crying again. We try this cycle one or two times before we give up and just bring him into bed with us so that we can get some sleep. I know that's a bad habit, and we've been trying to break it, but this has been going on now for almost 2 weeks. His normal feeding/bedtime is: we give him a bottle at 8:30 and he goes right to bed after that by 9:00. Now, just in the past 2-3 days, he seems to be on a weird "waking up" schedule: He wakes up between 10:30-11 crying, I pick him and he falls back asleep and is fine going back into his crib. Then he does it again around midnight-ish, and then falls back asleep in his crib. Then the final wake-up call is between 4:00 and 5:00am, and that is when he won't go back into his crib. He seems to toss and turn a lot and is obviously tired, but will only really fall back to sleep in our bed or arms. At first we thought it might be an ear infection, we brought him to the doc and he didn't have one. And he's not running a fever, is not sick or fussy during the day. He's happy as can be. Maybe he just likes to be held and is dependant on that all of a sudden? My husband now thinks maybe his crib mattress might be too firm and uncomfortable for him? I'm not so sure about that - that may be stretching it, but we're trying to figure this out. The only other thing I can think of is that maybe he is teething and just feels more comfortable and secure in our arms or next to us when he's in pain? Or, maybe he's having nightmares? I don't know...any thoughts??? We're a little sleep deprived lately.
My son started this at 18 months and I was told it was a phase because of all the brain developement at that age. I was also said if it started to happen at the same time each night that is was becoming a habbit and to try and break it. I'm not a fan of the cry it out method, but that is what we finally had to do. It only took two nights and less than 10 min. of crying each night, and he got back on schedule.
my guess would be teething. a great book on sleeping is "good nights". . .
is baby cold? i have a friend who had to double up on sleepers in the winter for her little guy to stay sleeping.
Sometime wireless internet can affect sleep.
L. Weinstein
My 13 month old son does this sometimes too. We've found that not picking him up works best. We try not to go in, but if we feel like we need to go on, we rub his back to help him calm down, say goodnight, and leave. He usually cries a little when we leave, but then he calms down quickly and falls asleep.
As a side note, I know someone commented on how late your son goes to sleep - if he's getting up later I wouldn't worry about that. I'm not a morning person, so I have my kids on a different schedule than most people. They go to bed at 8:00 p.m. and get up at 8:00 a.m. They also nap 2-3 times a day (they're both 13 months old), so they sleep a little more than the average kid. Of course this schedule will have to change as they get closer to going to school, but it works great for now. As long as your son is getting enough sleep and you feel like you and your husband are getting the time you need... I recommend keeping him on a schedule that works for you, your son, and your family's specific circumstances.
Our daughter did this a while back. We put a blanket under her sheet and that seemed to solve the problem. We only had to do it for a while. I don't know if it was the soft factor or the warmth, but it worked and got her sleeping in her crib with no problem. Ear infection and teething were the other thoughts I had, but you've ruled out one. You could try Tylenol for teething and see if he sleeps any better that way. If he seems to gave a cold, you might try letting him sleep elevated. Our daughter likes the Boppy when she has an ear infection. I think she likes feeling a bit snuggles. Hope you get some sleep soon!
Hi!
It could be just a stage that he's going through. It may be some unknown source of pain for him. Be firm and put him back in his bed. Let him cry for a while before you pick him up. I watched a show on how to get kids to sleep through the night when my older kids were babies and they said to wait 15 minutes before you pick them up. It worked! Eventually they will learn to get back to sleep by themselves. With my youngest son I just put a recliner in his room and when he woke up my husband or I would go in there and let him sleep on our chest. It might not be what the experts suggest, but we all got sleep and he never got spoiled by it. Spoiling isn't always a bad thing! He is a very loving child now and has been through a lot. He could always count on one of us to comfort him. I would suggest that you not put him in your bed if you are going to comfort him and get some sleep. It will all pass in time. I know that a person is not always at there best when they are woken up, but try to keep sane.
Hi A., I feel for you! I know how frustrating it is to not get much sleep. My youngest didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 15 months! The thing that worked for us when he would wake up crying: One of us (my husband was VERY good at helping out in the middle of the night!) would lay him down if he was standing, comfort him by patting him on the back until he was settled but not yet asleep, then leave his side. If he started crying again, we would wait a couple of minutes then go back and repeat the process. It only took a few days for him to begin sleeping all night. It's very important to not pick him up! Every time he cries and you pick him up, you're reinforcing "Hmmm...if I cry, Mommy's going to pick me up!" I know how hard it is not to pick them up when they're crying, and it may take a week or maybe 2, but he will eventually learn to sleep through the night again. I wish you luck and many nights of good sleeping!
Have you tried a night light? Sounds simple, but maybe he's afraid of the dark
Get the book, "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber. He's a sleep scientist. It is an excellent resource for all kinds of sleep issues. He talks about what causes them & then gives you strategies to help with them. I'm confident you would find something in it to address this problem!
I would say it probably is teething, growth spurts, and (yes he can start having seperation issues around the year mark) which really can cause sleep disruption. Do not put him in bed with you though unless nothing else works, just setting yourself up for a neverending battle. Kids can create habits very easily then it can take a long time to break that habit. If you want him to stay in his bed and sleep well, you cannot bring him into your room or it will continue. Teaching him to fall back to sleep himself is a gift.
The crib mattresses should be firm so I doubt it is that all of a sudden if he was sleeping fine before on it.
Rule out teething, if it is teething, try motrin before bed. If he wakes give him a natural teething tablet and lay him back down, rub his back for a minute and walk out of his room. You can comfort him, but I also had a rule after the year mark not to run into my kids unless they fussed for over 10 minutes too, it is not mean or cruel but teach him when he wakes to get himself back to sleep. It is very common for kids to wake at that age it is about him learning to soothe himself and get back to sleep. I never did crying it out until they were a year old. I also had a music box that kicked on with noise, it was soft, wound down slowly after five minutes and would shut off. That helped my kids a ton.
He could also be overly tired which backfires, to me 9pm is very late for a one year old. My four year old is in bed by 7:30, my seven year old is in bed by 8:15.. Is he taking one or two naps? I had my son who didn't do well with two naps, at the year mark one big nap around 11am until 1:30ish, by 7:00 he was tired and ready to go to sleep. For my daughter she had two naps until 18 mos but I made sure her last one was way before dinnertime, got her a full belly and she was in bed by 7:00, we played a lot and I basically wore her out. Maybe try putting him to bed earlier. Not to mention that gives you the evening to relax and be with your hubby. Parents need that downtime. Just an idea.
I know teething was the number one problem when my kids started patterns of waking. See if he has red gums, drooling a lot and seems fussy during the day sporadically.
Teething tablets if he wakes or motrin before bed should help a ton.
Good luck.
I think it is probably teething. My 11 month old baby started doing the same thing a week ago. He wakes up at about 3 am and the only way to get him back to sleep is to let him sleep with us for an hour or we can lay him in his crib and sleep in a chair in his room for an hour. Yesterday I noticed that his bottom molars are starting to come in and this morning I noticed 4 more teeth coming in (he was an early teether and already has 10 teeth). So I'm hoping in a few weeks when these 6 teeth are in he'll be back to normal.
He's going through a lot of brain development. He is now realizing that you're not with him but that you are still there somewhere, and he wants (and needs) the security of you responding to him. (Before, it's been pretty much out of sight, out of mind.) Add that to possible teething, fear of dark, or whatever else, and he has a hard time self soothing.
I am a big supporter of co-sleeping. It's only in our western society that it is considered a bad habit. In many cultures, co-sleeping is the standard arrangement, first with parents then with older siblings or grandparents. It's true that it doesn't work for everyone, especially if you or your husband are very heavy sleepers. But it's pretty safe, really (even my pediatrician said it's ok). I fought the co-sleeping with my oldest, afraid of creating a bad habit, but 8 months pregnant with a husband who worked graveyard shift wore me down and I let her sleep in my bed. And I could sleep! Without interruptions, too. A few months after my 2nd was born, we started puting her in her bed after she was asleep (she's a heavy sleeper). I had a bassinett, and put my baby in there for part of the time, but when he woke up hungry I would bring him to bed to nurse and let him sleep with me. Again, after #3 came along, we started puting him in his own bed (we'd gone to crib when he was too big for bassinett). Same deal with #3. The boys (8 and 5) still sometimes come into our bed at night, but they go to bed, on there own, in their own bed, with very little difficulty. Our daughter doesn't even come in. So they aren't going to be sleeping with mom & dad till they go to college.
The big thing is to decide which way you're going to do it and then stick with it. If you're going to let him sleep in your bed, take him in when he first wakes up. If you're going to not, then don't give in. All you teach him then is to cry a little longer to get things.
