Night-weaning and Sleep Coaching 6 Month Old Co-sleeping Breastfed Little Guy

No Cry Sleep Solution or Jay Gordan.

I would be careful of forced sleep training, particularly with breastfeeding.

Hi M.! I was in your boat 3 months ago. I co-slept and breastfed my daughter (now 9 mos) until she was 6 mos, at which point she started sleeping for longer stretches and began cutting teeth- both of which made the decision for me that I was done with the night feedings and the co-sleeping. There was a LOT of trial and error, and it took about 2 agonizing, horrible weeks (i'm not going to lie, it was really hard) before I finally got everything right. It boils down to- follow your gut.
First- weaning. The vast majority of 6 month old babies do not need to eat at night, so I pretty much stopped her cold turkey. I'd feed her a little solids, then immediately nurse her until she was drowsy, and place her in her crib, holding her hands or stroking her face until she fell asleep. 4 or 5 hours later she'd wake up, but instead of nursing, I'd pick her up, rock her (on my shoulder, not in a cradle position) until she settles while singing a lullaby, and then place her back down, asleep or not. If she woke up again or cried, i'd repeat the process. It really surprised me, but after 1 or 2 nights, she stopped asking to nurse. At this point she also started using her binky to fall asleep. Once it was time to wake up, I'd bring her in our room, and snuggle with her, and let her nurse for 10 min or so before getting up for good. I figured it helped her associate nursing with waking up, instead of falling asleep.
Co-sleeping was harder, because i love snuggling with her. But I know she needed room to turn over and fall asleep on her own, and I was honestly tired of freaking out whether she would suffocate or not. I gradually taught her to sleep in her own room- i'd place her down awake, and hold her hands until she fell asleep. That was a mistake, because then she expected me to do that every three hours when she woke up. I got frustrated, and for a night or two just refused to go in at all- I was so tired! ANd of course that's no good either. So finally, it took about 2 weeks or so of me going in after she cried for about 10 min (depending on how severe her cry was, i refused to let it get too bad), lay her back down, talk calmy to her for a few min, kiss her, and leave. of course she'd be immediately up screaming. It was rough, but she was only mad ecause she was used to sleeping with me, and suddenly i wasn't there. Finally, my mother in law saved the day. she bought a small, snuggly blanket that my daughter now uses as a "pillow"- she snuggles her head into it, and promptly falls asleep. I guess we kind of did a combination of crying, pick up/put down, but i never let her actuially "cry it out" except twice from desperation. she learned really fast that if she needed something, i'd come in, but if she was just mad, then i just kissed her and left again. i guess she figured all the crying wasn't worth it. She now sleeps 12 hours a night. It also helped a LOT to put her to bed EARLIER. like at 6pm. It goes against common thought, but the earlier she's in bed, the better (and longer) she sleeps.
I know that was a loooooooong response, but it was a really stressful and emotional experience, and i just wanted you to know that while i don't think you can train a baby or even expect a baby to want to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own, you can, however, teach them that they're safe and that if they need you, you'll come. i struggled a lot with hearing her cry for me, but once i realized she'd quiet down if she just heard my feet on the stairs, i knew she wasn't really upset, she had just learned that crying brought mommy, and I had to reteach her how to communicate. good luck!

I loved the book baby wise. I used the advice in that and both my kids who were also breast fed slept throught the night at about 9 weeks. Good luck.

M.-
I would get up wtih my babies and sing and rock them while I walked around the house until they fell back to sleep. Even though they would cry alot at the beginning, they quickly learned to give it up if there is no food involved. Read "On Becoming Baby Wise." I used it and especially for your stage, when you're trying to lengthen the sleeping into a full night, they've got some good tips. Best of luck!

Hi M.,

The La Leche League would be a great help to you:

www.lllusa.org/VA/WebTidewaterVA

Hope this helps. D.

You might want to start with the sleeping arrangement first rather than the feeding. IT's hard to do it all at once. The sooner the better for sleep training because their lungs are still samll and cant produce such a ;oud scream like when their 10 to 12 months and then might at that time have words which can be heart breaking. Although I knmow how hard it was for me as a mother and I don't think I could have done both so I stood by one firm desision and that was getting him to sleep in his bed and if he woke up hungrey getting him to go back to his bed. Co sleeping is hard on everyone and the bigger they get the more uncomfortable it gets. I hope this helps you any God bless

Just wondering why it's time to transition. Did the books say so? Has your son indicated that it's time to do it?

This time with baby is so short, and it's important to give him the comfort and assurance that you're there ALL the time for him. I'd suggest continuing the co-sleeping and b-feeding on his schedule until he indicates that it no longer works for him, or that he's ready to move on. He'll let you know.

Check out attachmentparenting.com for more information on co-sleeping and extended b-feeding according to baby's schedule.

Good luck.

Your baby is still on the young side for night weaning. However, you can watch him to make sure that he's giving you hunger signals when he wakes. When my son was ~8 months old, I realized that I was feeding him out of habit when he woke at night, but he wasn't giving me any hunger cues. Once I started watching for that, it turned out that he wasn't waking hungry.

However, even though he wasn't nursing at night, he continued to wake several times during the night until he was almost two. So night weaning doesn't guarantee you'll get a full night's sleep. There's always something that will come along--teething, a cold, etc.

(My friends that used Babywise had babies that slept through the night--but they didn't sleep through the night when they were older.)

Hi M.- Assuming he is waking out of habit at this point and not hunger... I used the sleep lady, Kim West- I read her book, but she has a website (thesleeplady.com) as well to read up on her background, credentials, theory, etc. I used babywise, and could not let my sweet, gentle boy cry it out. This was a more gentle approach. The book discussed transitioning to crib/other room and the 'sleep training'. It took us about two months, not her predicted two weeks- but we got there. Good luck.