Hi! I am new to mamasource, and I need help! My 8 month old daughter has been a co-sleeper with me since she was about a month old. For the life of me, I cannot get her to go to sleep on her own. I have read everthing from the Baby Whisperer, to sleep sense, and nothing seems to be working. Any suggestions? I would love for her to start sleeping in her crib!
I know it sounds like a terrible thing to do to a child, but hear me out. My son went to sleep fine when he was a baby, but the older he has gotten (he's 3 1/2 now) the harder it has gotten to get him to sleep by himself. I finally asked my pediatrician what to do and he said to put him in his room and let him cry. It's hard and you feel like a terrible parent, but it works. The doctor said that you can let them cry up to 15 minutes at a time and that they will eventually learn how to soothe themselves to sleep. Hope that helps!
A. L.
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J.
answers from
Topeka
on
You need to watch Super Nanny :)
She has all the behavior answers.
In fact I'll be there would be info on the net if you search for her tips.
Good luck :)
J.
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S.F.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I firmly believe in letting them 'cry it out'. Trust me, it doesn't come easy, but when you get that first full night's sleep, you'll see that it was all worth it. With my daughter, I just went in and rubbed her back every 5-10 minutes at first and eventually, she just went to sleep. They need to learn to soothe themselves so if they wake up in the middle of the night, they can do it too. My son is now 8 months old and he has been such a great sleeper. We had to let him cry it out when we first put him in the crib too. Good luck!
S.
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T.G.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
T., my experience is very similar to the response you got from Rachel B. We have 2 children, and both were/are co-sleepers. Our first it just sort of happened because I was breastfeeding. He is 3 years old now, and sleeps in his own bed. Our second is 1 1/2 yrs old and is just now starting to sleep in his own bed. We usually read stories or watch a movie before going to sleep. If they didn't fall asleep in their own beds we will move them into them and usually they stay there. The youngest will wake up, usually around 1 or 2 am either scream until you get him or come into our bed. We have tried letting him scream, comforting him in his own bed, etc but I guess it came down to I wanted to get some sleep so it is easier to just have him in our bed. I am not that worried since I know that our oldest now sleeps in his own bed and has been since about 2 1/2. I was a little concerned after reading one of the responses that said her mom picked her up after crying all the time and now she has problems getting to sleep. I too have problems getting/staying asleep, but I asked my mom what she did and she said I slept in my crib fairly well and when I did cry I usually went back to sleep. Just let your daughter fall asleep with you and put her in her crib, sooner or later she will learn that her crib is her place to sleep and that mom and dad are there if she needs you!!
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K.L.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
T. - I don't have any advice for you other than please let me know what advice you get. My daughter and I (Emma) co sleep and although I am not ready to give it up yet I'm sure there will come a time. Please let me know. My daughter is Emma and she is 4 1/2 months old. My email address is ____@____.com
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S.W.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Hi T.,
My son also co-slept with us and sometimes still does (he's 3 now). Remember that a co-sleeping relationship is a part of your child's routine and will need to be gently changed with time, patience and lots of extra love. It looks like many people have responses here, so if you would like to discuss this more, please email me at ____@____.com and I would be happy to provide you with suggestions and help you design a plan to gradually change this habit.
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R.B.
answers from
Kansas City
on
With all the neat things that comes along with co-sleepers, this is the one really bad thing. We did the co-sleeping thing with my oldest because I was nursing. We let it go way to long and ended up having a kid who even at 3 was coming in and sleeping with us in the middle of the night. But it stopped about the same time he was potty trained -around 3 yrs old. The second child was pre-mature and only 4 lbs when I brought him home. I didn't feel comfortable co-sleeping with him so he was in a bassinet or crib from the beginning. When the third (and fattest) baby came along, we did the co-sleeping thing again, but decided at about 8 months to put him in his own bed. We would get him almost asleep with rocking him or nursing, then we would lay him in his bed. And although he was very sleepy, he would cry and scream. After 5 min of us being out of the room and him crying, we would go in and, without getting him out of bed or talking to him, would pat him and rub him and lay him back down. He would still be screaming, but we would blow him a kiss and just walk out of the room. 10 min later we would go back in a do the same thing, then we would wait 15 min. then 20 and eventually he would wear out, stop crying and fall asleep. This went on for a couple of days. The next step was to make the initial visit at 10 min incriments. Then start at 15 min. Then by day 10 or so he would cry for about 10 minutes and go to sleep. Eventually we would put him in his bed and he would cry for 10 seconds after we leave but that is it. Now at 19 months we say, "Bedtime" and he walks to his bed let's us rock him in our arms for a few seconds, gives us a kis and reaches to be put in his bed. It is a hard thing to listen too, but as long as you know that there is nothing hurting her, and she is just mad, everything is ok. You going in and being there for those specific times lets her know that you are still there. But you are still helping her to put herself to sleep. I see no adverse affects on him, and he loves us, and knows we love him. My mom hated it when she would be over and listen to the baby crying. She would ask, "Can I get him out and rock him?" I would have to stand firm and tell her no. She rocked me to sleep every night until I was 4, and to this day I still have a hard time falling asleep.
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C.B.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Letting them cry it out is the only thing that worked with my 4 children. We would take a bath, read a book, rock for a few and then go to bed with a stuffed animal and let them cry for about 5-10 minutes then go back in and lay them down (not picking them up) and they would go to sleep shortly. The first couple of nights it might take awhile, but by the end of the week usually only a few minutes of crying and eventually no crying. But, you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Good luck. C.
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S.P.
answers from
Springfield
on
This is really hard as a parent, and the older the child and the longer the habit has been going on, the more difficult it is to break the habit. In the Baby Whisperer and on SuperNanny ideas are introduced for teaching the child how to get themselves to sleep in their bed. "Crying it out" can have different definitions. There is a way to do it with love. On the SuperNanny, I think that it is done in a loving way. It really is about teaching the child how to comfort themselves enough to get to sleep and enough to stay in their own bed all night. It is instilling independence in them - it happens time and time again in many different ways as they grow. It is so hard to do what you have to do to break a habit, but it really is rewarding for you and the child when it is successful. It will be with the right approach and consistency and time. I would find a method in a book or from someone that YOU can live with, and don't give up. All 3 of my children "cried it out" eventually (I broke the habits much younger with my 2nd and 3rd babies just because I knew how hard it was later - 10 months - with my 1st baby) and it was done lovingly. I have no guilt about my approach and I think you have to find the approach that works for you. When I saw the difference in my children's routines, eating habits and personalities that occurred after they were getting good sleep as often as they should, I knew I had done the right thing. Good luck!!!!
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A.M.
answers from
Lawton
on
Have you tried the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley? It deals with co-sleeping.
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K.N.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Good Luck! I hate to be negative, but with my first she slept with us. Now at 3.5 she still makes her way into our bed every night (maybe once or twice a month she will sleep through the night in her own bed). Be thankful you have the crib walls to keep your little one in her own bed... so do something now, tonight. You have to start somewhere.
Since having my son I learned a valuable lesson and at 2yrs. he sleeps in his own bed. He would cry and I wanted to scoop him up and comfort him, but I didn't. I would go in his room, lay him down, and leave. 5-10 minutes later I would come back in, lay him down and leave. I never made eye contact with him or spoke. Night after night his cries got better and now he likes his bed/room. It is really hard, but they are not hurt, and only crying because they don't know their own bed, thinking your bed is theirs. If you want your daughter to sleep in her own room, you have to do something, and don't give up on it, it will take time.
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D.K.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
I would suggest letting her cry it out. I know it is hard but it worked for us. It does take 3-5 days. The first night, she may cry for an hour or more, just comfort her after a few mins., by patting her and telling her everything is okay. The biggest problem with this is not following through.
Good Luck!
D.
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T.O.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I had the same problem with my older daughter. What worked for me was to put her in her crib and stand next to it with my hand on her back until she fell asleep. I did each step for about a week. Then I stood next to the crib but not touching her, then I stepped away from the crib but in the same room. Eventually I made it to the doorway and in to the hall. It took almost a month to complete but it did work. Good Luck
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T.W.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Hi T.,
You definately want to nip this in the bud right now. I know its hard but you just gotta keep trying. My advice would be pick a few days when you can get away with less sleep (a weekend maybe) and just let her cry it out (I'm assuming she cries when she's alone). I promise she will eventually stop and go to sleep. Some babies are a little more persistent than others but she will adjust. I went through something similar with mine around 6 months. She had been sleeping in the pack and play bassinet in our room and put up quite a good front when we moved her to her own room. I thought I would fall apart while she cried and cried. But by the 3rd night she just went right to sleep, haven't had a problem since (she's 2 now). In fact she even crawls into bed on her own if she's tired before bedtime and tells us she's ready to sleep. Good luck, T.. And don't worry it will out work out. :)
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M.R.
answers from
Charlottesville
on
Though my daughter was never a co-sleeper, she needed to be rocked to sleep. I tried letting her cry it out a few times, but instead of ultimately going to sleep on her own, she would keep crying, getting more and more upset, until she made herself sick.
My son, on the other hand, will ONLY sleep if you let him cry for a few minutes. Each baby truly is different, and no matter what method people say works, you need to find what works for your child. Babies need to feel safe and secure and need to know that you're there to take care of their needs. I say that if you can get her to sleep by rocking, etc, then do it. Good luck!
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P.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I am so sorry to say that the surest way (and Hardest - for you anyway)is to let them cry. My husband had to literally hold me back while I cried too (and prayed real hard), and it took a few nights, but it really works.
If you can rock them until they're almost asleep it may shorten the crying time.
They say to check on the baby at intervals and lengthening the amount of time each time. But sometimes it's harder because my kids only started crying harder each time I entered the room.
One more thing, this is VERY important!! You need your sleep and your baby will even appreciate the more rested and less stressed you!!
Good luck and my prayers are with you!!
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D.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Hi T.,
Watching Supernanny on TV has helped my husband and I a lot. You might consider watching a few episodes. Also, the Johnson County Library has a book of hers. Here's some info. copied and pasted from their site.
Happy Parenting,
D.
Supernanny : how to get the best from your children
Frost, Jo.
Summary
Jo Frost, a.k.a. SuperNanny, is the answer to every stressed-out parent's dreams. In Abc's upcoming primetime tv series by the same name, Jo works miracles on problem children by dispensing hard-won wisdom and reassuring us that parents really do know best. The SuperNanny method gives parents the know-how to tackle problem areas such as mealtime, bath time, bedtime, bedwetting, homework, sibling rivalry, aggressive behavior, or a child who just won't do what he or she is told to do. Divided into action-oriented problem and solution sections, SuperNanny will show parents how to restore harmony and authority in the home using the SuperNanny's ten basic rules.
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T.
answers from
Tulsa
on
We transitioned our son (now 2 1/2) around 8 months to a crib. It was difficult because he slept in a bassinet attached to my bed so he was inches away but still in his bed. I decided to do this transition in steps. I brought his crib in our room and put it next to our bed. Then after a week, I put it close to the door. Then after a week, we switched to his room. He cried a little because it was different, but it wasn't too long. After being in his crib, it allowed both him and us to sleep through the night. Everything I have done with him has been in stages. My husband sometimes thinks I'm nuts, but it works. So try moving to the crib right by your bed where she can see you, then go from there. She will cry, but just make sure she is safe, fed, and clean and she will be ok.
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A.B.
answers from
St. Louis
on
T.,
All I can say is, try what makes sense to you, but if it doesn't work, don't despair! My son just turned four today and he still occasionally sleeps with us at night. What finally started to break him was a strict routine at night, and us going to our bedroom when he went to bed at night. If we were upstairs with him, it made him feel safe (or comfortable) enough in his dark room to go to sleep. Of course, that was just last year, when he was old enough to reason with. At 8 months, maybe just stick to a routine and see if that works. Good luck!
A.
Dear T.,
I had the same problem with my daughter, sometimes it just takes tough love... you just have to lay her in her crib and let her cry it out, I know its hard, and she might cry for 45 min to maybe even an hour but as long as she knows you are going to come get her and put her in you bed she will never stop sleeping with you
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J.H.
answers from
Tulsa
on
Hey, way to go Camie, for basically stating that those of us who have let our kids cry it out have made them retarded. I co-slept for 6 months and wanted my night back! Call me selfish, but I didn't have my daughter to exist for her. We did graduated cry-it-out. We let her cry for 5 in, went in and loved on her, let her cry for 10,went in and rubbed her back, let her cry for 15, went in and shushed, and after that is was only like 5 min before she was out. She's 13 months old, perfectly healthy and happy. And my husband and I actually have time to make another baby, because we have our bed back. One more thing: my husband and I both cried it out as babies. I am a science teacher, and my husband is an attorney. We are independant, loving, family-oriented, and suffer no cognitive delays.
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C.W.
answers from
Kansas City
on
My son is 11 months old and is a part time co-sleeper. He will sleep all night for a couple of days in his own bed and then all of the sudden he'll start waking up in the middle of the night and will only go back to sleep when we put him in with us. He is teething and is trying to get quite a few teeth in at once, could this be the problem. I have tried to let him cry it out and get back to sleep on his own, but there is only so much screaming that one can take.
When we initially started to have him sleep in his crib we started a nightly routine. Every other night he gets a bath with the lavendar baby wash and then we get dressed and read a couple of books. We give him Tylenol for his teeth and then a bottle. The first few nights of this, he fell asleep as soon as we turned off the lights, a few days later, it took quite a bit of coaxing to get him to sleep. We haven't waivered from this routine but we have started to put him to bed earlier and he stays asleep longer, if not all night. I think that the routine makes it a little easier to get him to sleep at night, but it's so frustrating when we don't get the same result every night.
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C.W.
answers from
Wichita
on
I'm sorry you have this problem,I can relate.My first girl Lauren who is 3yrs old now slept with me until she was 6 months old.On the day I decided she was big enough for her crib I put her in it and she criied for like 2 or 3 hours before she fell asleep,but the next night it lowered to about 45 minutes on the 3rd night it only took 15-20 minutes by the fourth night she pretty much went right to sleep and has been in her bed every since.I know it is heartbreaking to hear your precious baby criing for you and not doing anything about it but in the long run you both just might be happier,and hey if it doesn't make you happier you can always go back to cuddling together at night.I hope this helps and the best of luck to you and your little one,C.
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A.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Have you tried using one or your worn t-shirts as a blanket for her? She might just need to smell you. Try putting it in the bed with her or next to her. Heck, you could even lay her on it as the bed sheet.
Maybe try it at nap time and see if you notice a difference.
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M.Y.
answers from
Las Vegas
on
Dear T.,
I had this exact same problem with my daughter up until she was 2 years old! She WOULD NOT go to sleep on her own as a baby and she ended up sleeping with us all the time. I was so happy to finally meet someone who lent me a book called, "How to solve your child's sleep problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. This book was written in the 80's, I think and I recently saw him on TV with a new version of it. Here is the link to both books:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=br_ss_hs/102-###-###-####-###... Anyway, it talks about the sleep stages of children and gives a lot of info but boils down to a technique that ended up working for my daughter right away. I receommend reading the book; it addresses all kinds of sleep issues and all kinds of situations and scenarios.
I beleive it's chapter 4 of the old book that goes over the ins and outs of the technique of getting your child to sleep alone. Good luck and if you have any questions at all, please let me know.
M.
P.S. I read the Baby Whisperer, too. It all sounded great until I actually tried it and it about killed me...pick up, put down, pick up, put down. I couldn't do it. This way in this book is very doable and you don't have to let your kid cry themselves to sleep!
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I.Z.
answers from
Kansas City
on
T.,
Great name for your daughter. lol. Hopefully you'll find something that will work for you from all our sharing. We all have our own stories and thank God we eventually found something that worked. I first had my problem with my sisters kids (whom all slept with her). I started with two of her babies at first as she went to evening work and eventually she had a third one. The oldest was three when she had the third. But I dealt the same with all of them. I tried the "let them scream" method at first at our doctors advise. And they did, for about two hours every night. All that screaming only resulted in upset babies and restless, fitfull sleep and very grumpy babies in the morning. The screaming time frame did not decrease from the two hours either. Sometimes they'd get so upset they'd throw-up. Finally, my doctor recommended the rocking method along with "white noise" and that turned out to be awesome and a Godsend. What I used for white noise was a noisy humidifier in the winter and a very small, baby safe plastic fan faced upward in the summer. The "white noise" from these devices are not real loud but they are consistent and seem to block little house noises that can wake children (and adults) during the night. So, the white noise helped them (and eventually us) sleep more soundly and peacefully thru the nght.
Back to "getting" them asleep. I would rock and hum the youngest asleep first, while the other waited patiently on the couch (after teaching him that if he was indeed quite, I would rock him as well). Then after I put the first to bed, I would rock the next in line, and so on. Each would take about 10-20 min. I also remember being warned by many well wishing friends and loved ones that I should let them scream instead of the rocking because they would never go to sleep on their own and they would ALWAYS want to be rocked even when they are older. Well, each one around 4 or 5 years would come to a point when told it was their turn to be rocked, would say "No, I'll just go to bed." So, I would hug and kiss that one goodnight and walk him to bed and tuck him in. Every once in a while one of them would want a rocking which I gladly gave. And you know, it is actually such a short time in their life to be softly loving them. I also do the same routine with my own 4 year old daughter now. Much better sleeping and lovely coudle time for the babies. They do eventually grow out of that you know. My sisters babies ,lol, are now between 23 and 26 and are absolutely wonderful adults! Again, hope you find something that works for you and your daughter.
I....
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S.M.
answers from
Enid
on
First I would ask why you want her to sleep in her own crib? At her young age she is still very attached to you and needs to know you are there for her, which is a great thing! Try looking at it from the other perspective. How would you feel if ther person you loved more than anything, the person whom you needed most in your life, the person who has always been a warm body to curl up with suddenly decided that you were a bother and wanted you to sleep alone, somewhere else. How would you feel? Now apply this to your child, except that your 8 month old baby is not an adult and cannot understand things in the saem way that an adult can.
I guess I really have no advice for you, except that sometimes we have to set our feeling aside for the well being of our children.
Good luck.
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S.G.
answers from
Springfield
on
T.,
As hard as it may be, let her cry it out a bit. It may sound harsh, but she needs to learn to sooth herself. Be consistant and loving! I'm from the old school of thought but, I enjoy sleeping in my bed with my husband, and having some alone time! Or even by myself when he falls out on the couch! LOL But, I urge you to be gentle and firm and tell your daughter that she's able to comfort herself and that she's "a big girl" now! She'll be fine and you'll be sleeping restfully soon.
Good Luck!
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A.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I have followed "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr Weisbluth and it works for everything so far. It was recommended to me by four moms that i hightly trust. It works.
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R.T.
answers from
Kansas City
on
T.,
I am going to have a very different and probably unpopular opinion on this matter. I have co-slept with my now 4 year old daughter since birth.
I did a lot of research because of all the negativity surrounding SIDS and CO-Sleeping. Co-sleeping is only dangerous if another of the bed's occupants are intoxicated or otherwise impaired or if the proper precautions are not taken. Contrary to popular belief there is no relationship between co-sleeping and an increased risk of SIDS. In fact, in many other nations of the world where co-sleeping is the norm and not the exception, there are practically no cases of SIDS. The theory is that if a child were to quit breathing in the night a mother, asleep or not, will be intune to their child and would be awakened by a baby in distress.
Something to think about.
I personally beleive that once a decision has been made to co-sleep it should be continued until the child is ready to move to their own bed. I cherish the time spent cuddling with my child each evening and each morning.
I personally believe letting a child "cry it out" is cruel and unhealthy. Babies cry because they have a need that is unmet. They do not cry at that early age to manipulate. By refusing to acknowledge and comfort the child the parent(s) are placing their needs above the biological needs of the child. It sends the child a very mixed message in the least.
In your post you said, "I would love for her to start sleeping in her crib!". I would ask that you deeply examine your reasoning for wanting her out of your bed and consider your child's emotional and biological needs.
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C.A.
answers from
Lawton
on
ETA* Sorry Jennifer, I'm just sighting evidence based research rather than just anecdotal personal accounts. I'm very happy that no one in your family appears to have suffered from CIO.
There also are no studies to support that co-sleeping is dangerous when done by a sober parent.
I have 6 children all but one has co-slept (that was her choice) and at this moment only one (the 6wk) is in my bed. They have all moved out on thier own, occasionally with a little prodding but never forced. All of my children were dependent at some point (they are children, aren't they suppose to depend on us?) but are becoming incrediably independent. I've never dealt with seperation anxiety and my children have never had a problem staying with anyone else. But that's because I allow them thier dependence until they decide to be independent. I would try to remeber that in 10yrs she's barely going to want a hug, much less a whole night long of cuddling. Enjoy it while you can!
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T.D.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Hi,
first you need to get a rocking chair and put in her room.. You will need to go in stages. Start rocking her to sleep in her room. KEEP HER OUT OF YOUR BED. Put her in her crib. DO NOT TAKE HER TO YOUR BED. If she wakes up, keep her in her room and rock her. after about a month put her in her crib to fall asleep, she should start falling asleep in her crib. You may need to let her cry a little, but it will be fine.
You can call me if you like ###-###-####
Tammy
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K.Z.
answers from
Peoria
on
Co sleeping is wonderfull for many reasons, & has it's pro's & cons. Most children eventually ween themselves, but not untill much older. I have had somewhat success with two meathods over the years. both get me more sleep, but have allowed co sleeping to comtinue. First was a child bed against my bed. My son would sleep most of the night just an arms length away & often the entire night untill early morning. When he does join us, we hardly even wake up, which leaves us feeling well rested in the morning. As our homes have changed we had to find a new solution when our master bedroom no longer had room for the second bed. Now his room is just up the hall from ours & I lay down with him each night while he falls asleep & slip out after he is asleep. He crawls into our bed at some point most nights, but again we sleep sounder falling asleep without him there. Morning snuggles are a highlight for all of us & sometimes he arives just in time for this routine, other nights he stays with us for most of the night usually when he is upset or anxious about something happening in his world. I don't know if this is an option for you, but it has worked for us.
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C.S.
answers from
Springfield
on
T.
I have a 2 year old daughter and I am having the same problem with her right now with her and My Daughter sleeps for a little while in her room but then wakes up about 4am wanting to get in bed with me.She takes her naps on the couch and sleeps fine cause the tv's on,So I am gonna try some noise like a radio or a tv to see if it helps so maybe you can try that or Something that used to work for mine at that age try the Mommy Bear that has the natural sounds of the womb that too may work for you.I hope I have helped you some,If I can be anymore help feel free to email me at ____@____.com
C.
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A.P.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Hi T. I have a 22 month old who is my youngest of four children.All of who have been cosleepers at some point.My youngest was very sick as a baby and had to sleep on me for fear she would stop breathing then moved to next to me and then my husband thought of taking one of the sides of her crib off and pushing next to our bed so she was in her bed but could reach to me if needed.It has worked great and then maybe you can transition to both sides on or a toddler bed down the line.It has worked for us hopefully this helps!
A.
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A.L.
answers from
Kansas City
on
T.:
I agree with some of the advise (Tammy, for example) mentioned above. The longer you let her co-sleep, the harder it is to break that habit. Most of the time, mom's let in continue to fill a need that they have not so much for the child (but the child does become dependent, as it is a habit). Go in steps, and be consistent. Put her in her crib and stay with her (singing, pat her back...) till she falls asleep. The next night, stay with her for about 10 minutes and only come back once if you need too. The next night, shorten the stay....and so on.
Just a note-cosleeping can be very dangerous to a newborn, and is not advocated by SIDS advocates. Sleeping next to your bed, in a bassinet is safer.
A.
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J.R.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Hi! I had the same problem with my daughter at first. We started to take her in her room and put her in the crib periodically throughout the day and sit on the outside and talk, make faces, read books etc. Eventually she began to associate the crib with happier thoughts instead of just being "abandoned". Try putting some favorite things in there too to entice her to want to be in there (ie favorite blankets, toys, mobiles etc.) We really found this approach helpful! We also made a pact and said enough is enough and quit going back in after we had put her down. It takes a few days of screaming to get her to understand, but eventually they figure out that no matter how much they scream, you're not coming back to comfort them. I think the first night my daughter screamed for about an hour. The next night 45 min, the next maybe 20 or so and after that just some whining every so often. We've been enjoying 11-13 hours of sleep since. Just an fyi - we quit cosleeping with our son after 3 mos. and had no problems getting him to sleep on his own - I guess you learn from the first!
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H.
answers from
Tulsa
on
A good source of information are the many books published by the Sears doctors. They are a family of child psycologists, pediatricians and nurses that believe that there is no problem with your child sleeping with you and that it forms strong bonds and builds self-esteem. But if you feel you need to get your child out of your bed they give great advice on how to do it. I personally believe that the "cry-it-out" method is cruel and causes the child to relate sleep with unhappiness. My daughter slept with me until she was about nine months old and what worked for me may not work for you, but you can try. If you don't have a nighttime routine I strongly recommend creating one. First, I had to seperate the relation of sleep with my bed. I started putting my daughter to sleep by reading to her then rocking her to sleep then after she was asleep transfering her to her bed. After she came to grips with the fact my bed was no longer an option, I would put her in her bed after reading and rocking but before she fell asleep. Then I would stand next to her crib, pat her back, and then pretend I was asleep. If she cried I didn't pick her up (that was the so hard). Each night I would distance my self from the crib until eventually I was out of her room. (Any change in a child routine takes time and lots of patience!) Finally, after I would read to her I could put her in her bed and walk out of her room. I feel that if you can relate sleep with being a positive experience then it makes it easier. Now my daughter is three and she may not look forward to sleep (what three year old does?)but definately looks forward to reading before bed. Now all I have to say is go pick out a night time book and she grabs a book and jumps in bed. Bedtime is a time to bond, appreciate it, it doesn't last long. Good luck and I hope you find a method that works for you and you child.
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K.S.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I dont know how you feel about the Cry it out method, but that is what it finally took for my son. I started by puting him in the crib and staying right next to it. I talked to him but didnt pick him up. Each night I would move closer to the door. Finally I was no longer in the room and he just went to sleep on his own. One other thing helped, putting something that has your smell (perfume) on it in with them is comforting. For my son we used a stuffed animal.
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K.S.
answers from
Peoria
on
Hi T.,
I have two boys of my own. You may want to try a piece of clothing with your scent/perfume on it and lay it in the crib w/ her. I was also advised by my mother that if he/she cries for more than 10/15 min than something is wrong. I know that sounds harsh but you may have to do that a few times so she knows it's time to go to sleep in her bed. The other key element to this "madness" was being consistent with the time. She should adjust easier if it's more on a schedule. Good luck! Keep trying! It may take awhile-don't give up. You'll be glad you didn't.
K.
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B.E.
answers from
Tulsa
on
Hi T., well, since she has been sleeping with you for about 7 months now, it will take a little while to get her comfortable sleeping in a different bed. When she takes naps, where does she sleep? Gradually put her in the crib during the day, she will probably rebel, but you will have to keep telling her she is getting to be a big girl and this is her bed. It may take several trys, just keep positive and reassure her. Maybe your peditrician could suggest some things as well.I think the most important thing to remmember is, she will be scared at first, but just reassure her that you are right there and you love her. Hopefully, as she gets used to sleeping in the crib during the day, you can gradually start letting her sleep in the crib at night. She would probabbly feel better if she had a small nightlight. I started my babies out in their crib next to me, then I gradually put them in their own room. I don't know if that would help or not. Good luck and let know if anything is working. B.
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B.S.
answers from
Rockford
on
Hi T., I'm a mom and gramma and I always rocked mine, grandkids too! lol. It gives them comfort and makes them feel safe enough to fall asleep...not to mention, I enjoyed it myself knowing they went to sleep happy and relaxed. I tried the CIO method, but it seemed to make their sleep more restless from being upset. Every baby is different, but I haven't seen one yet that didn't like to be cuddled and rocked to sleep. Good luck!
B.