Is Your Husband Prince Charming?

Well my husband is not the man of my dreams, but I believe he is the man I was supposed to end up with.
He is not prince charming, but then I am not a princess either.
We both have faults,but we have grown to accept one another.
I have never believed that love is a feeling, but rather a choice. I choose to remain married.
I think a lot of people go into a marriage now a days with the idea that life will be always sunshine and rainbows. Life just isn't like that, and that is why so many marriages fall apart.

N.,
I love my husband dearly, but the man of my dreams would be George Clooney. Does that help any? :)
M.

I love my husband, he is great, I would not trade him for anything. But I would not say he was prince charming:-) That is great if others think so, but I wonder how realistic they are being-- are we Cinderalla????? I know I am not. I remember being in dream land the first year of marriage, and then reality set in, he is still great but he is not perfect...

Thanks for the smile today. Let's see on good days he might be the man of my dreams but with jobs and kids how many of those really perfect days do you get, I lvoe him though and he has his faults as do i but we get threw, that's all you can ask for. sure in my dreams my guy had all the good qualities of my husband, and none of the bad but hey I got close. I think it's jsut a thing we all say to tell others that nomatter what we are happy and where we want to be. that's waht matters the most right?

"Price Charming" where?
I love my husband and a lot of times I feel like he knows how to complete my thoughts. He is not riding in shiny armor all the time. We are all human beings and we all have our own faults. But he is there for my kids and sometimes is a big kids himself. But he is here for us. He does his best when he is on duty with the kids and he tries to help me out with other things around the house.
I think "prince charming" and the "man of my dreams" are just loving statements for those that really care for their spouse.

I rarely respond because of time restraits, but this one caught my attention.

I hear what you are saying about prince charming. Sometimes I wonder about my love for my husband, and wonder if I didn't sell myself short. I know how horrible that sounds to write that. I love him, he's a good man, loves our kids, loves me unconditionally, but some of our differences are so big that it keeps me from being able to totally give him my whole heart and soul. There are times when we are watching tv or something and I will look at him and feel so lonely, and I think to myself, how can someone who is sitting next to "the man of her dreams" feel so lonely?

I've been studying a book by Jimmy Evans, Marriage on the Rock, and watching his tv program, it has helped a lot to put some of my views into perspective. It has taught me for one, instead of picking out the things that aren't "dreamy" pick out the things that are, things that are a part of his character...for instance, some will laugh at this but I know my husband won't cheat on me....no doubt at all in my mind, because of his beliefs, he is a great provider, he's at all of our kids functions, because he wants to be, not because he has to be, he loves us unconditionally no matter what, etc etc. I had to start looking at what I had rather than what I didn't have.

Hope that helped some. I feel like I just babbled.

N.,

The feeling of being in love comes and goes. True love, agape love, comes after settling in with your mate. Love is a choice. I don't want to pass judgement on any one saying they are married to the man of their dreams, but people have different expectations and different definitions of what a dream husband is. If you've got a good man, a good husband, a good father, a friend, then you've got it made! Don't lose what you have thinking you are missing out on the man of your dreams. Be realistic. Besides, it takes too much energy to stay on cloud nine, elated with the man of your dreams! :) Infatuation and strong physicall attraction (lust?) are not the same as love, either.

Good luck.
B.

LOL The man of my dreams is Heath Ledger. Or maybe Matthew Mcconaughey. Oooo Or Johnny Depp. Oh my, or Dane Cook. ::Starting to get a little sweaty here::
No, my husband is not the man of my dreams. He's the man I'm in love with, and am bound to from now until eternity, though. And I can live with that.
To me, a man of my dreams is just that...it's fantasy. My own little private guilty pleasure I can indulge myself in now and then. I can soak in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and daydream that I'm married to some rich, famous, beautiful hunk of a man, who will take care of all my problems. But no such man truly exists. So I just enjoy my little fantasies, then get out of the tub, get dressed, and go downstairs to my reality...the man who married me, is the father of my children, and the man who adores and loves me. That's good enough for reality. :-)

Hi N.,

How refreshing it was to read your "honest" feelings... If we would all just "Be Real", "Be Honest" this world would be such a better place.

I've been divorced twice now primarily because I was under the false belief that I wasn't married to the man of my dreams and he just didn't measure up to my expectations. (I'm much wiser now and only because I've grown up, matured and now really beleive that the best marriages are centered around GOD and what His Will is for each of us).

Marriage is "hard work" with a lot of compromise, ups and downs, plenty of forgiveness (not forgive and forget but forgive and allow appropriate opportunities to rebuild trust). Do you know what I mean?

I am now a single parent and am only willing to consider remarrying if I know the man who is pursuing me is a man of God! Otherwise I am quite content in my circumstances especially since God has provided for me and my children above and beyond what any man could do -- since my divorce.

Thanks so much for your honesty... You are as REAL as it gets, girl!

I think it is all in how you describe the man of your dreams. I am not sure that "Prince Charming" really exists. I know that my husband and I have a connection that is indescribable and I can't imagine being with anyone else but is he Prince Charming? Far from it, but I ain't Cinderella either. Real people in real marriages go through goods and bads. I would love to say my husband brings me roses just for the heck of it, but most men don't think that way. Anyway, don't feel bad, you are not the only one who got a man that is alittle more frog than prince.

I agree that my husband is far from "Prince Charming", but he is a wonderful & supportive husband & father. Is he perfect? No, but who is? Is he there for me when I need him? Yes. When I think about a "man of my dreams", I'm thinking simply about what I want in a husband/father/provider. My husband fulfills my needs.

N.-

You are definitely correct. I too love my husband but there are some things that I wish were different. Mostly dealing with our daughter and how he relates to her (or doesn't) and that he doesn't seem to understand that the house doesn't clean itself and dinner doesn't get on the table without help.
I think that if we are being honest with ourselves (whether we post it here or not) our husbands aren't always perfect and there are things that we wish were different but I would submit that if they were asked if we were perfect they would have things they would change too.
I like to think that if my life were perfect, no messy house, no bills or money problems, no temper tantrums in public, or anything else that creates the chaos that seems to a mom's life then I would be pretty bored. I also think if our relationships were always sunshine and roses that would be pretty boring too. Not that I want drama all the time but at the same time a twist and turn now and then isn't too bad.

Wow!!! Awesome question..Well I have been married going on 2 years. We have 6 kids together. I say that my husband is my soulmate, but the man of my dreams...hmmm...There are definitely things about him I wish I could change, as well as I am sure he would change some things about me...He is a wonderful husband and a great Dad, but I wouls have to agree that dreams are dreams and many of those if any of the Men of my dreams do not exist:(

Wow, you really got alot of responses from this post!

I would not say I'm married to my "soulmate" or my prince charming. I have to say when I married my husband I was head over heals in love w/him. I do love him now but I have to admit after 13 years of marriage it's not the same. We have not had a great marriage and have had many rough times but we're still together. I think that's what marriage is. I think so many people think marriage is always wonderful but it's not. It's quite a misconception. Marriage is A LOT of work! I think that's normal tho. You look at other couples and think wow, what a great marriage they have, but do they? Alot of times you don't know what happens behind closed doors. My husband is a good husband and father, I couldn't ask for more in that department but he came w/alot of baggage from his childhood that I did not know about when I married him. This is what has put the most stress on our marriage. He has some anger issues. Never hurt me or anything but can be verally mean but as I have brought this to his attention over the years he has worked very hard at getting it under control. I've often wondered if there is someone better for me out there but I honestly don't think any marriage is perfect. So, I have a man w/some issues but he's a great father and husband.

S.

I love my husband very much, but I would not say he is the man of my dreams. That man is so perfect and we all know that does not exist! I love him very much but there are things I wish he would would but does not. I am sure he could probably say the same about me.
N.

I say when someone says there man is there man of there dreams they mean there reality dreams. What I mean is when we were younger we wanted to marry a guy that would take care of us, have children and so on. I would say that my significant other is the guy of my dreams. Sure we have disagreements but what couple doesn't. I had a hard marriage and a hard break up and thought I would never find Mr. right. But my guy is he loves my two children as his own he helps all around the house he goes out of his way to do sweet things like the other day he put a rose sticker on my computer so when I got to work it was there. He calls me when a love song comes on and tells me it made him think of me. When we fight(well we don't fight we have disagreements)he sits down with me and we talk about it then. We have a rule not to hold anything in and not to go to bed angry. He cooks, cleans, works hard to provide for our family. That is what I consider the man of my dreams. But thats just it thats my feelings on it. I think everyone has there own opinion on what that means to them. I hope this helps.

N.,
First of all, you are right: dreams are just dreams, not reality. What you may have dreamt of growing up as far as who your spouse would be could be very different from who you are married to now. For instance, I dreamed of a man-faceless or course- who would be so in love with me that he would do anything for me, stick up for me, etc. and would absolutely worship the ground I walked on. Then I woke up!! I am now married to a man who very easily, it seems, tells me that I can do things myself,maybe with his help, and ecourages me to stick up for myself! yes we have problems, who doesn't? You are two people, from two different backgrounds, and many different life experiences and outlooks. Not to mention personalities! So you have to ask yourself: do I feel as if he is my best friend, and that if I really needed him, he would be there? Can I still look at him sometimes, and wonder how I ever thought my life was full before I met him? I also know there are moments when I want to find the heaviest, hardest object with which to hit him over the head!! Deep down, though, I know that I could live the rest of my life with him, and feel as if my life was complete. Something that may help you is a phrase that I tell my husband every once in a while : I am not perfect! You are not perfect! In the end, though, we are perfect for each other. In my opinion, when women say they are married to the man of their dreams, they either are feeling this same sentiment, or they are living in a dream, and someday they will have to wake up. I hope this helps, and if you ever want to talk further, feel free to email me. P.

I love my DH. He is prince charming to me. He's loving, respectful and kind. He ALWAYS helps at home with our son. He does more housework than he probably should considering he works an hour from home. He's never gotten upset, annoyed or impatinet with the fact that our home is often cluttered. It's still hard with my 9 month old to keep on chores but DH has never made me feel pressured in this area. Instead, he comes home and helps me get it all done. I realize that I am truly blessed to have this man as my husband. I hear friends talk about their husbands sometimes and it just further reinforces that I've been given such a respectful man! Thanks for the chance for me to put thoughts into words!

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING,,TOUGHT THE SAME THING MYSELF. I LOVE MY HUSBAND DERLY , AND HE IS A GREAT FATHER TO MOUR SON, HOWEVER, MAYBE ITS BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD A HARD TIME AJUSTING OUR RELATIONSHIP SINCE HAVING OUR SON, ITS NOT THE GUSHY, "SOULMATE" THING ANYMORE.

I used to think my fiancee was me prince charming, before we had our little girl, but now things are different. We used to be very happy but now it seems like life is getting in the way of our happiness, I still love him very much but it seems like the magic is gone!

N.,

I've only been married a little over 6 years, so I don't have the same time-frame to compare to, but I do have 3 kids and wonder the same thing you do. I can honestly say my feelings about the whole thing can get better or worse just based on our circumstances, problems, good-times, moods. I can't give you any definitive answer but I can tell you that not everyone feels that they are married to a "dream". I agree that to a point our dreams are just that- dreams. I think they are a guide to helping us strive for what we truly want but I don't think we necessarily have to live by them or that our lives have to meet some euphoric expectation of people we are involved with. Some people may find their soul mate. Maybe some of us just fall in love. I don't think that's so bad either.

Hope this makes some sense. :)

Just a thought... Are we the women of our husband's dreams?

A.

N.,

OK, don't tell him this, but sometimes my husband is barely my friend. He's a pessimist; I'm an optimist--sometimes he brings me down.

He already knows he is not my best friend. He is not necessarily the man of my dreams; I doubt he is my soul mate. However, we have two beautiful boys (5 & 3), we have been married nearly 9 years, and we have a happy marriage.

I think our society fills our heads as little girls with all that dumb "helpless girl rescued by Prince Charming" Fairy Tale stuff that we are not given realistic expectations for life. I mean, "and they lived happily ever after!" rather glosses over the whole rest of a life. What did the Prince think the first time he saw Sweetie without her makeup, or PMSing, or getting hugely pregnant to produce his heir? What happened the first time Prince smiled a little too much at someone who was younger, thinner, prettier, or whatever?

We should be taught that compatibility, kindness, and WORKING to maintain a relationship are virtues. That it is not all rose colored glasses and fantasy. The honeymoon truly does end, but what happens after speaks volumes about the true underlying relationship.

Congratulations for giving your children an example that marriages are not throw-away commitments when the going gets tough. Best wishes for another umpteen years of good parenting and partnering!

K.

Wow the responses to this have been amazing and I enjoyed reading every one of them. What a wonderful subject for you to come up with. In my story, do I beleive in the man of my dreams ? Not right now, I guess. Once after a broken heart from dating someone after a year, I was laying on the floor crying, and I asked God to send me someone that he thought I should be with. Shortly after that, I met someone. I thought for sure, he was the man I was suppose to be with, we were together for over a year and married, we had 2 children, and my marriage was horrible and the divorce was worse. I tried so hard, I loved him so much, and no matter what happened, no matter what I did, it was a mess. I got a divorce when my daughter was 2 and my son was a couple months old. After getting a divorce i was determined to put my life back together. In the process of doing my own thing, to take care of my children, I met someone, he was nice, not someone that I was "used" to being with, but he was nice. After telling him that I wanted my space, he didnt go away, but let me have my space. We finally started to date, 3 years later he is still here. He helped me move my children from where we were into a house, he goes to work every day, and trys hard to provide, he helped me to get a durango something I always wanted but could not afford without him, he does laundry, helps me get the kids ready for school, he gets up in the middle of the night with me when my children are sick, he will play with the kids, watch a movie with them, or read them a book. He goes to school functions, and tries to give them a stable loving home. Prince Charming, no, he still drives me crazy sometimes, but when its important, hes there.

Hello N.. I'm not sure why you were asking your question. It sounded like your expectations of who your man of your dreams has/had changed along the way in your marriage. That's okay, but remember none of us are perfect. In a harsh reality you might not be your husband's women of his dreams. I'm not trying to be nasty, but the best person to talk these things over with would be your mate. It may just be the fact that both of you, or maybe just your mate, have gotten "comfortable" or "lazy" in trying in your marriage to be all that you can be with one another. I would recommend talking with him without the kids around.
To answer you question, I think I married my soul mate, I'm not sure about the man of my dreams, because I wasn't looking or really dreaming of a certain type of man when my mate came into my life and changed it for the good. I love him very very much, I know he is not perfect, but I know that I am far from perfect too. He is a good man, husband, father, and friend. We have known each other for 23 years, and I have been married to him for 18 of those years. We have been through good and bad, including losing a child. I don't think I could have chosen a better man for myself. We have been together for this long because we talk to each other about everything(including the good, bad, and the ugly). I hope this might have helped a little. If not, good luck in your pursuit of happiness and peace.

N.,
I am glad to hear that their is someone out there that is not married to Mr. Right. Mr. Perfect or anyother dream man.
I have been married for 11 years. I have been with my hubby 13 years. He is an ok man. My dream guy he is not. We have had a lot of hard times over they years and have come close to ending it all more than once.
He most certainly not win father of the year. He only pays attention to our 2 year old daughter when he feels like it. Wil not change a diaper with the number 2 in it at all. When she is sick its all on me. He doesn't do throw up or help me pick up after her toys. He did a number of very hurtful things to me when I was pregnant. He never hits me, but he can say some really mean hurtful things.
I know he loves our daughter, but its on his terms. He is good with her when he is in the daddy mode.
I would leave and at times I really want to, but I think of how my baby girl loves her daddy. I wish I felt that way, but most of the times I don't. He is a good supporter and brings home the money to take care of both of us.
The all of it is no! I am not married to my soul mate or the man of my dreams. I don't know where my man is that fits that bill, but I missed him somehow. Maybe one of these ladies found him and kept him for themselves. If so then I am happy that were smart enough to find him and keep him.
I will just have to live here with what I have.
How about you and whey did you ask this question?

I'm not married, but I have been in my relationship (pretty much a marriage) for almost 12 yrs. now..... Is he my Prince Charming??? No. In no way!!!
I'm not looking for something that is unrealistic, and that comes out of a Fairy Tale (Paul Walker, Cinderella, etc.)...
All I need to have My Prince Charming:
1.) Love me, and show me that you love me. Everyone needs affection....

2.) Let me know that you think I'm attratcive, even thoug I may not always think I am....

3.) Accept that I am smart, and I may be able to do something that you can do......

3.) Help me w/ the children & the house... I didn't do/ make all of this by myself, why should I take care of it all by myself????

4.) Be more of an active role in the children's lives...

5.) I need you not just financially, and physically, but emotionally too!!!!!

This is what I need, nothing that shouldn't be unreal..... But, seems too hard to find!!!!!!!

Is he Prince Charming?? Prince Charming is perfect, so, no. Personally, I think the soulmate thing is highly overrated. I do think fate and destiny exist and do believe we were meant to be. Is he the man of my dreams?? He was when I was 16!

We have learned that love isn't always this infatuation, swept off your feet feeling. The euphoria leaves. However, you still love the person.

My husband burps, farts, and blows snot out the side of his nose. That's not exactly what I consider attractive! I still love him though!!!

N.,

I would describe my husband as my soul mate and also the man of my dreams, but it's not like he doesn't annoy the heck out of me sometimes and it's not like he doesn't do or not do things that make me angry at him and vice versa (you know, me annoying him or making him angry with my actions). And it doesn't mean that I haven't thought about someone else in my dreams whether they be daydreams or dreams during the night - I mean who hasn't drooled over a Bruce Willis or George Clooney (those are just my personal favorites - fill in names of your personal favorites as needed).

I think a lot of times when we think about our husbands the fact that we love them makes him the man of our dreams and the fact that he loves us back makes him our soul mate.

I believe that my husband is my soul mate because he gets me, he allows me to be me around him 24/7 and always has. He loves me through thick and thin and thick again (pun intended). He finishes my sentences sometime when I don't even need him too (trust me when I was pregnant with both of our children I really needed him to finish my sentences).

I believe that my husband is the man of my dreams because I couldn't see my life without him or having children with any other man that I had known before we were married. I believe he's the man of my dreams because he takes the time to find out what's bothering me he'll even goad me into an argument because he knows that that's the only way I'll realize what bothering me.

So I guess what I'm saying is that saying that my husband is the man of my dreams or my soul mate doesn't mean that I dream about him every night or any night for that matter (I mean come on, I don't need to dream about him, I have him), it's just that I over look his annoyances and forgive him when he makes me angry because I love him and it's because when I think about my future I need him right along side of me.

Take care,
Mel

I love your question. I also, many times, thought how on earth can so many women talk about their husbands like they do. I mean I love my hubby and he works hard for the family and all that jazz......but he also does things that drive me crazy!! I would say he is great, but on a normal day would not describe him as most of these women do!!!

Glad someone brought this topic up. Can't wait to check out the other responses!!!

M.

N.,

My life partner isn't Prince Charming, but he's trying and coming pretty close. For example, when I'm doing dishes, he'll come up behind me and help me. How? you ask. By rubbing my shoulders, breathing gently on my neck and kissing me softly. I begin to relax and hope there are plenty of dishes for me to do...lol. Seriously, he does this because that's what I have asked him to do when he sees me doing the dishes. I told him it gives me pleasure and truly helps me. So he does it, now once in a while he'll dry but usually he's rubbing me down.

I believe that you can't expect men to know what to do, who taught them how to give you pleasure, an ex?, a mom? I don't think so. Only you know what gives you pleasure and you NEED to tell him. If he truly loves you, he'll do it. There are a few romance games that you can buy to build a intimate level of communicate. If you truly want to pursue a deeper intimacy with your spouse and open a channel of communication to reach a higher level in your relationship, let me know.

Jenn F.
____@____.com

Hi N.. I am a divorced mother of two boys. I was married for almost 7 years to a man who I fell head over heels with at the age of 21. I placed him on such a pedastal and felt that no love on this Earth could ever come close to how I felt about him (and hoped it was reciprocated). Well, at 13 weeks during my first pregnancy (which was planned by us both), he came to me and said he didn't think he wanted to be married to me and wasn't sure if he loved me. Long story short, he repeated this pattern 4 times, over the next years of our marriage. He had affairs (I actually spoke to 2 women on the phone who said they were his "special friends") and during the last year of my marriage, I came to realize something: Love is a choice and NO ONE IS PERFECT! I'd set him up unfairly as "Prince Charming" which no human being could ever have measured up to be. While I acknowledged that, I also realized that I no longer chose to love him because I did not feel connected to him after being repeatedly pushed away and having my emotions thrown around as though they could bounce back with ease each time. I made a choice that I would be better off working with him as the parent of our two children, than as a spouse, b/c I kept thinking that after our children grew up, what was I left with? I didn't even consider the man a friend, and had lost so much respect for him throughout the years (I'd supported him emotionally and financially through 2 job losses as well). I guess, my story is LONG after all, but please keep all of this in mind when you're evaluating your own marriage. Since then, I've met a fantastic guy who has wonderful qualities that I respect and admire; no, he is NOT perfect either and brings his own baggage to our relationship, but I respect him above all else. A wise, twice-married mentor of mine gave me the advice to love a partner not for how he makes you feel, but for who he is as a person. If you can look at your husband and see that he puts his family first, is willing to do anything to keep you and your children in a stable, secure environment, and you respect who he is, then I think you have found your personal "Prince Charming." Would he be the right guy for anyone else? Maybe, maybe not, but, what matters, is he is the right one for you. As others wrote before me, I am definitely not perfect (I am chronically late, I'm a busy single mom who works full-time, sometimes staying @ work until 7:30 PM on nights I don't have my kids, I don't eat regularly, I am overly friendly and noisy, I have a body that went through a 100 lb weight loss post-baby, and I struggle to make ends meet although my job pays well), however, my boyfriend knows all of this, and chooses to love me because those qualities combined with all of my good qualities, make me who I am. In an ideal world, I would say you made your choice 13 1/2 years ago, and you still love him, so I think you've found what most girls dream of when they are little: NOT the perfect man, but the man who is perfect for you. Good luck and please keep working on and growing with your marriage as long as you feel secure and relatively happy; trust me, in our old age, we are going to be glad to have our best friend next to us, and not Matthew McConaughy, George Clooney, or the real Prince Charming!

Hi N., when I was growing up, I used to read cheesey romance novels and believed prince charming was what every woman got. My mother, always the realist, told me that doesn't exist. At the time, I brushed it off b/c Moms know nothing, right? Well, now 10+ years after that conversation and nearly 6 years of marriage, and countless friendships to married women, I can say w/ all certainty, that it really just doesn't exist for everyone. I've found that a select few end up w/ the man of their dreams. Soul mate can be open to interpretation. I married my best friend, so in that respect, he is my soul mate. But sparks aren't flying out of our eyes as we gaze across the room at each other ! At that's the truth of it, at least in my opinion.

LOL, no my husband is not Prince Charming either! He is a sweet and wonderful man whom I love dearly and is a terrific father to our three children. He works hard to provide for our family, is deeply devoted and loyal to me and our children, and is still quite "hot". He's also a pessimistic worrier, obsessive compulsive neat freak, is overly sensitive, and has issues related to being raised by an alcoholic mother. But, I brought my own baggage into this marriage being divorced and being raised by a psychologist mother so I call it even. The truth of the matter is that we each have our strengths and our weaknesses, the "perfect" part of it all is that my strengths are his weaknesses and his strengths are my weaknesses so we complement each other as perfectly as humanly possible. To me, that's the best you can hope for and is enough to make me incredibly happy with my husband. We love and respect each other and we know each other better than anyone else knows us. We are best friends. We are partners in parenting. We are partners in life. George Clooney may be hot and rich, but the intimacy of the relationship I have with my husband is what will make me happy for the long haul. Anyway, other women say that my husband looks like Superman and is totally hot, so I suppose I've got it all except the $$$!! :-)

The truth of the matter is that I think deep down what we really dream of is that sense of warmth and security from loving someone and being loved back. Passionate fiery lust is great, but it does simmer over time. Your marriage needs some real substance to last into your golden years.

Anyway, that's my two cents worth on this terrificly interesting subject!

-M.

I know what you are saying. I dont feel that my husband is my soul mate or the man of my dreams,but I think thats just real life. I mean some people want others to think they have the perfect life,but realy who does? I love my husband and he is a good man ,but would I change some of his habbits or personality traits if I could? Yes I would!!!!!! I think if you are lucky to have the perfect man for you, than congrats ,but to the rest of us you do what you can with what you can....... I'm sure there is alot of woman who feel like this not just us...LOL!!!! D.

Hi N., I was also married for over 13 years to a man I loved dearly. I never dreamed we would divorce. We have 3 children together. 16,14,8 we have been divorced for 4 years now. Recently, I have met the "man of my dreams" so to speak. He is so much of what I have always dreamed about. I am not telling you to run out and get a divorce, my love for my ex did die and was no longer there after few years into the marriage but I never wanted to be divorced. I am happily engaged now to my soul mate and now I know what those terms mean. Good luck to you and take care.

You are not the only one to feel this way, trust me. I love my husband very much don't get me wrong but i do also feel that he isn't the man of my dreams. The love of my life for the time being maybe, but who's to say what will happen down the road. Don't beat yourself up over it, you are not the only one to feel like this, even if this is the only response, others are more than likely afraid to step up and say the truth in a marriage!

I've been married twice and now in a wonderful relationship. I am living the fantazy. For a long time I didn't think anyone could ever find the man of their dreams. The one guy above all. Though many women will tell you no it's not real, you'll merely be with someone you love not truly your soulmate well I say you guys are wrong. Worst part is many ppl settle or think that it's as good as can be. My boyfriend and I love each other very much and find ourselves saying and feeling all the fantazy things we use to make fun of. Why aren't we married yet? well I'm still dealing with my last divorce and it matters none for to us we already are. We're merely waiting for the time to celebrate and share with our friends. For a wedding is just that. A celebration of what you already know. That you're bonded to each other. You're merely sharing it with the world by getting married!. The man of your dreams is when you fall inlove every day over and over. When you look at him and merely his smile lifts your day. A partner. That even when going through the bad you hold each others hand and laugh. Their are no fights merely disscussions and either a compromise or it gets discarded. For life is too short to argue over petty things. Maybe Him and I are each others gift after both having very hard lives. Or maybe we just know to appreciate each and every thing due to that. I love him and to me he is by far more than my soulmate and the man of my dreams. He is my godsend and the best blessing and gift I could ever have gotten. For people who know me, they know exactly what I mean and why it's true. You'd have toi know my story to understand that yes now FINALLY I have my fantazy. I do have my prince. It isn't a myth..... it can happen.

N.,

I married my hubby when I was 17 almost 12 1/2 years ago... he was my high shcool sweetheart and has been there for me through everything. We got married only a day and a half before our first child was born... he was there as much as my mom would let him. She had a lot of say during that time... including when we did get married and how.

I love my hubby dearly and can't see my life with out him... we have 3 special childred (12, 2 & 1)and one due in June. We do have more issues now that the kids out number us... but we always seem to find our way through everything.

To be honest I don't know what my "dream man" is, and I'm sure if I had one I could remember he wouldn't be exactly like my hubby. There are issues that keep coming up and things that I have learned to accept eventhought I don't agree. I have left once or twice, but seem to find I can't be without him... because I feel I can't live without him I say he is my "soulmate".

I have a really hard time making decitions in live... expecaly ones that are life time ones, but I made an importand one 12 1/2 years ago and married him. To this day I still feel it was the right one! Now the question I keep being asked now... (Is this the last one - are you getting you tubes tied???) I can't make that one without busing into tears.

Like I seen over and over in the reponses... no one is prefect! What you need to search for in yourself is weather you can see yourself living with out him... can you accept his faults? Is he there for you and your kids? Only you can figure out if you are ment to be with him... don't let others infulance you decision on this one. They don't have to live throught it you and your kids do.

Hi N.,
You're not alone! I've wondered the same thing in reading some of these posts. ALL THE MORE POWER to the women who truly have the man of their dreams. I've been married almost 12 years and consider myself extremely lucky to have a husband who helps around the house, cooks, irons his own clothes (I won't do it - I HATE ironing!), bakes too... but are there days when I wonder how life would have been different "if..."? OF COURSE. I think it's only natural. I also think there comes a time when that line of thinking can be indicative of deeper issues that need to be resolved (often with professional help). I'm trying to decide if I'm at that point. Regardless, rest assured that you're not the only one to feel that way!

Hi N. K:

I am 34 with 5 kids 9, 7, 5, 2, 1 and have been married almost 12 years...and my husband is no prince charming...

My husband and I were best friends for several years before we started going out and then got married. He has several flaws (well, so do I) but I really like the guy:)

This past weekend I sat and yapped with my girlfriend until midnight, both of us complaining about our spouses. During the conversation I pointed out that in a way we compliment each other for the kids.

For instance; I like a clean house and everything organized and sometimes I'm too busy with that to play with the kids or sit down and really work on their homework. He is very patient with that. There are other things too, but I won't bore you.

Nope - he's not my prince charming, but I can't imagine anyone else putting up with my stuff or his either. He makes me laugh, pushes me to be a better person, and is a good Dad. So I put up with all the other stuff.

In some ways if he was fabulous, he would bore the heck out of me! I'm glad for the mamasource replies with prince charming husbands, because that's just a really great thing to say about your spouse, but I admit, in a strange loving way...I didn't marry my prince charming either:)

I pretty much agree with you. My husband is for the most part very wonderful and I love him deeply. I would have to say that I don't necessarily believe that you have a "soul mate". I think as humans we are inclined to love many people during our lifetime. Not to mention there are sooooo many people in this world and there is no way you could get to know all of them to know if the one you married is actually your "soul mate". This is just my opinion and it doesn't mean that I amm not faithful because I am. I also know that I still love people from past relationships because "true" love never dies, but it doesn't mean I would want to spend the rest of my life with them. Marriage is about finding a person whom you love and are also compatible with. My husband still makes me smile every single day and we get along great. I don't know if any of this helps you especially since it is just my opinion.

N.:

Prince Charming? Hmmm...what would really define prince charming? I think most people think of prince charming as being good looking, charming, perfect in every way, sending flowers just because, riding up on his white horse? I think my definition of prince charming would be: a wonderful person, of course not perfect, as no one is. I think prince charming would be a good listener, a best friend, some one you can depend on, but in the end just be there to have a nice conversation with or cuddle in front of the tv with. I love my husband and I think he is a wonderful husband and father . Do I think he is "prince charming"? I think in my definition of prince charming he is. Like you said, a dream is a dream, and of course in my dreams prince charming would come home and cook dinner and clean up dishes, fold laundry and pick up a million toys a hundred times a day. After all I am not the only parent on this team, However in the end I think of my husband as my prince charming because he is my best friend, he knows everything about me, my likes and dislikes, my inner most thoughts, I can talk to him and I love knowing he is there to vent to after a bad day. I sometimes wonder what life would be like without him and I can't seem to picture it. Though he isn't always perfect and he could help out a little more I love him and I know he feels the same way about me. Everyone has a fault or two but I believe we all have a prince charming we just may see him in our own different ways. Even though my husband isn't the prince charming I dream of (helping with cleaning, laundry, bath time) he is my prince charming in reality always there for me when I need him the most in good times and bad. So I think you are right, it isn't always reality but we can dream can't we?! I loved your questions and I think everyone had great answers. Now I hope everyone lives Happily Ever After~
L.

I feel that my husband is the love of my life, and He IS my soulamte.
Hes not perfect, No one is and there is no such thinga as perfect!
And When people say "Man of my dreams, Home of my dreams, and so forth, I dontr think thats a good expression to use!
Nothing will ever be as wonderful as your dreams. and Nothing will ever be your exact dream

Close but not "IT"

Theres alot to factor into things! And theres certainly things that make you go crazy, and peeved off..its normal and part of life! What can we expect!

Well from someone on my second marriage, I have to say that I think I finally got it right. My ex husband had good qualities I must admit, but we were incompatible in so many ways. We even tried an open relationship for awhile. I thought that would keep us together because then I could get my needs met from other men if my husband wasn't meeting my needs. I definitely am not talking about sex. My ex gave me all of that I wanted. I was lacking a real friendship or connection with him, and that's what I really needed. Unfortunately I was young and still thought you needed to have sex with a guy or why would he want to be friends with a married woman. I was really screwed up back then and down deep very depressed. My ex and I hurt each other to the point that counseling would never have been able to help. I was afraid to leave because I didn't want to hurt our kids and because I honestly didn't think there would be anyone out there better for me. I kept justifying that all relationships have problems.

Okay, all relationships have their problems. That's true, but not to the degree that I did with my ex. My self esteem was practically destroyed in that relationship and I was unable to grow as a person. Leaving was hard and it sucks that I now have to share my kids (but, I get a break). The S. I left, I lost a lot of weight (and I wasn't heavy before) because I wasn't really eating. I even went back to him for a few months, but it was even more depressing once I did that. Our marriage was over and we both knew it.

I am now a completely changed woman. I met a wonderful man. We have been married 2 years and have a baby daughter. We got married after being together only 5 months, but we both knew it was right. I dated my ex 2 1/2 years before marrying him, and I even had doubts at the time I married him.

My current husband is truly my best friend. I put a priority on our friendship before anything else. I even had to learn that it comes before our kids. We will only have the kids temporarily, but have to spend the rest of our lives with each other. If I see us getting distant, I plan a night out alone. I don't keep things from him. I kept so many secrets from my ex and told myself everyone does this. I also don't have seperate male friends. My male friends are either friends with the both of us, or none of us.

We do fight sometimes. He is 6 years younger and I can tell when he's regressed to little boy mode. He has to occasionally play his video games. When he watches the kids, I come back to a destroyed house. He spends all day on the computer many days. He doesn't help much with the housework. He points out when I've gained a little weight. He sometimes expects my 6 and 3 year old to cook for themselves, get themselves dressed, and basically act like adults. These are all things that irritate me, but when I bring them up, he listens to me and tries to do better. My ex basically just told me I had the problem, not him.

Sorry this was so long, but I have a point. My point is that if you are losing your friendship with your husband (and it's easy to do with kids), you must work to get it back. Plan a night out. Go see a counselor. Do a couples workshop. See your religious leader together. Write a letter. Reach out! If your friendship is gone, what will you have left when the kids are gone. If your relationship deteriorates too much, you either have to put yourself and your kids through divorce, or you have to spend the rest of your life with someone you don't even like. Good luck!

I'm kind of laughing inside, because I think everybody feels this way a little bit, even if you do have a great relationship with your spouse. This is for one reason- we are all human! None of us is perfect, and we certainly don't live in a perfect world. I love my husband dearly and I know without a doubt that we were meant to be together, but even I don't think he is prince charming (I've got images of Shrek 2 in my head now!). I suppose he is my soul mate, but I don't go around talking about him like that, you know? I think I used to call him the man of my dreams when we were about to get married, but the newness wears off, life intervenes, you realize that person isn't as perfect as you thought (and realized the same about you, even though you both still love each other tons) and the excitement is much more subdued after a few years of marriage. That's normal. I think as long as you love your husband and he loves you, and you both try to have a great, healthy relationship, you are doing well. Funny how you didn't know if you would get any responses, and this is probably the hottest topic on the board!