Am Very Glad I postCan You Lose a Soul-mate and Find Another One, Later in Life?

we do not have only one soul mate or only one chance at a great love. Humans are capable of loving many, and doing so equally, with all they have.

There can be many chances of a great love, but tghere is always going to be only one soul mate. I am saying this by experience

I have a background in psychology. One of my professors in college (who was a marriage counselor) would routinely tell us how much he hated the word "soul-mate" to describe a spouse or significant other. He would say that it's too dramatic/obsessive and less realistic. We can have romantic connections with people in our lives. Could it be fate, or the feeling of knowing them from another life? Sure. Could it also be the timing, location, and emotional state you are in in your life? Absolutely. It's a mixture of different factors, but no matter what, there is a bit of work involved. Less of a matter of falling like gravity in and out of love, and more a period of stability/emotions/feelings of both partners at the same time. In your situation, I definitely think it's possible to have again. :)

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Hmmmm....I have a few thoughts on this.
The man who I "thought" was my soul mate--we dated for about 5 years, he was about 7 years older than I was. I worshiped him.
When things ended I felt certain that I would never find another 'soul mate', at least not O. that could fill his shoes on every level.
I dated men and compared everyone to *him*.
Later, I found out that he married.
A few years later, I heard he was divorced!
We crossed paths.
I thought I was getting my second chance. A chance to make it work!
So...we went out a few times.
My first thought?
"What was I thinking???? This guy is not so great!"
LOL
It was the best thing to ever happen because then I could give someone else a FAIR chance.
Later I met my now-husband. He IS my mister right. I've never looked back.
"Soul-Mate" is a random term.
I wonder how long I would have pined for Mr. Soul-Mate, had I not had my "second chance"?
Recently, he found me on Facebook.
He is now married with 2 kids.
His wife apparently doesn't 'understand him.'
He asked if we could get together to talk and have a drink.
Seems he never got over ME!
I was able to confidently tell him I was not interested and I de-friended him out of respect for my marriage.
I knew I could trust myself....but him? Not so much.
What a complete lack of character.

So....to answer your question, don't compare your husband to the other guy. It's just not fair to him...or you.

I don't believe in soulmates as you put it above. I believe there are men whom I have loved (prior to my husband) who were in my life at the right time, for the right reasons. Yes I lost one that I thought would be mine forever...but alas he was not.

The man I married...I love him with everything I've got. But it is a different kind of love than the man from my past. As it should be, I don't believe in marrying or being in a relationship with someone that you don't love with all of you...they deserve for me to love them just the same as they love me.

So I believe you can love, be in love give your whole self too more than one person in a lifetime.

To answer your title of your post:
Yes.
You can.
But it means, you have to be flexible too. Not just expecting... what once was.
Because, everyone changes. No one is static, unless you live in the past.
And as everyone goes through life, our wants/needs changes too.
And our partner(s). Until, we commit to someone.

Ultimately, you need to let go, of the past.
So you can move forward with yourself and what you have.

I have had many long term relationships. Of those, maybe 3 were as you said, "soul mates." But it ended for various reasons. A soul-mate is not necessarily what is always best, for you.

I am married and have been for 14 years. I love my Husband and he is, my soul mate.

No one and no relationship, is perfect.
Everything takes work.

Love, varies per person.

Being in love has been described as a dissolving of boundaries. When you are in love, you do everything with the other, think about the other at all times, and even take up physical space together. This is not a condition that can last, so eventually it either turns to "love" or it turns out the being-in-love blinded you to some deeper nature that is incompatible and you fall out of love. I think true love is not the same as being in love. I have been in love with several, including my husband, but it did not turn into true love except for with my husband because of the give-and-take between us, the perfect (for us) match of our crazy personalities, and the time and effort we both put into the relationship. I think you both have to be willing to your all into a relationship in order to come out with 50-50. And I think that is possible with more than 1 person, just not at the same time. And like another post stated, if the one true love is not lost, you would never find out if there is another.

I think this is almost an impossible question to answer bc the only reason someone looks for another soul mate is the first one was lost somehow. And if that soul mate hadn't been lost, how would things have turned out? I had a boyfriend I was madly in love with. I guess I would have said he was my soul mate. Looking now, he would have been a horrible husband and father most likely. So about 15 years later, would I still feel like he was my soul mate if we'd gotten married and had kids?... I also know I was less critical then. Something he'd say would minorly irritate me but I'd actually chose to look at it positively. That kind of plays into your potentially not being as open as you once were. Also, I read so about many movie stars who marry their soul mate and then are divorced 3 years later. I knew a woman not very well but she really seemed unusually amazing. She died in a horrible accident and I still think of her husband. How could he replace her? Or how could anyone measure up to her? I wouldn't! And then I wonder if some people can find more than one soul mate bc of their own personality. ie: they're easy to get along with type thing. So I can't answer your question unfortunately but I do think it's important to remember that if you were with your ex, things might be different now. Maybe not - but maybe. And as my sister says, they call it young love for a reason. I'm not sure how old you were but younger than you are now and likely less burdened overall and I think even our brain chemistry changes.

I think we can have many "soul mates." To me a soul mate is a person for whom you feel a natural affinity and with whom you are completely at ease. I have my husband and a few friends who I consider my soul mates.

My take on this maybe a bit different from what you are maybe looking for... I think some man are good for the soul, some for the sex, some for travels, some for fostering your career, some for nursing your wounds, some for getting expensive gifts, some for raising family with... you just have to apply the RIGHT ones in the RIGHT PLACE and have smarts to recognize which one are you dealing with.
When I was younger, I thought that soul-mate relationship was possible, but as I got older I figured that man are man and women are women. We are never going to be able to understand them and they never will be able to understand us. We meant to compliment each other, to be yin-yan but never to mesh and lose ourselves in another. As women we are here to give life and to protect that life at all cost. The man are here to father the life and provide/protect for that family. Seems like those similar tasks but they are vastly different requiring different skills, emotions and psychology.
How do I do it? I am my best soul mate. Me and Myself are my best friends. Does my husband understands me 100%? I do not think so... Do I need him to? Not really...Do I understand him? I do not think so....Do I want to understand him? I like to be surprised once in a while.... I think we learn about each other every day while we are on this journey with each other.
Like you said, there are different kinds of love....I think that says it all.

For a time when I was a child, I believed in the princess stories of finding "true love" and was scared that maybe I wouldn't be in the right place at the right time to meet that "one" man meant for me... :-)

Well, I grew up. And I'm a psychology student, a student and observer of human behavior. I've been married twice and had a few relationships. And I've known couples in arranged marriages and all other types of arrangements. All things are possible. Love is a combination of time, place, personality traits, behaviors, our senses, etc. and our decisions and actions. It also changes over time, two people can grow closer over many years, or not.

I feel lucky to have experienced all I have so far. And once in a while, I wish I was "in love!"

Yes you can. I truly believe that!

I know I had one 18 years go. We are still friends to this day but never "hooked" back up. "Life" got in the way so to speak. We were young and he went to the military and it was too much for me to wait for him. While we lost contact and found each other again, I was married. My husband made us cut off all communication. When we found each other again he was married. Now thankfully we are in each others lives, but as friends only, although our friendship runs on a deeper level than my other friendships. I regreted letting him go and tried for years to find a love like we had.

5 years ago I found my soul mate for the second time. He is truly amazing. Everything hit off right away with in the first 3 months we knew we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. We get fusterated at each other but in 5 years of being married we have only had 1 fight. We will disagree or get pissy with each other but yes only 1 fight. I know with out a doubt in my mind or heart he is my soul mate. We have such a deep love strong love for each other and we equal each out on so many levels.

The love I have with my husband is alot like the love I had with my first one I found. Thankfully this time around its stronger than what I had before. I know together we can handle anything that is brought our way.

I remember when I was growing up & had gotten dumped so many times (I finally married @ age 32), I would discuss with my dad who was a pastor. I would say that there was only one who was "meant to be." And my dad would say "No, you could fall in love with one of many different people..."

I'd say you would be able to love deeply more than one/once, not sure about intensity or how you could really measure intensity. I love reading those stories in magazines about finding your long lost love, from way back. I'm just a romantic at heart.

Ironically, my parents were best friends with a married couple and first my dad died, then the woman of this couple. My mom then married my dad's best friend!! :) [my mom's best friend, on her deathbed, had begged my mom to marry her husband!]

I did not have the same connection with my ex as I do with Troy. I just don't think I would call it soul mate. It is more like key personality traits are compatible. Lord having said that I can see why my children say I could take the fun out of Christmas. :p

Still what ever you want to call it there is a connection and ability to communicate like we have know each other are whole lives. That is probably how most define a soul mate, personally I hate the term.

Statistically there are plenty of men with the same traits as Troy. The odds of meeting him again are statistically low considering my age and that the man must be single. Still it is possible.

Try finding two men on earth that love a woman who talks like me mind you.... :p

This is assuming you believe that there's only one soul mate. I don't believe people only have one person they're meant to be with forever and ever. I just don't believe in the concept of romantic soul mates. It's so limiting and I find it to be immature. And subscribing to this line of thinking, of believing in soul mates, creates a longing and regret and unrequited love and suffering if you believe that there's "one that got away." And if you're not happy with your current life then that dissatisfaction will lead you to wonder about that supposed lost soul mate.

That said, my husband is my perfect mate. I love him with all of my heart. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else even though if I hadn't met him or had we broken up at some point, I know I would have met someone else and been equally happy with them. I just don't feel that I'm missing out on "one that got away" because I don't regret where I am.

I loved 2 guys before my husband. I was young(high school and college) and dates lots of guys but feel bonded to them because we truly cared for each other. I wish that intensity was there sometimes, but it would be exhausting as well. I love the boring, but stable life I have now. I do not believe in soul mates as in one person, but I know there are people I can see after 10 years and feel every bit as close to as then.