Men get depressed in a different way than women.
He is depressed due to being laid-off and not finding a job yet. Meanwhile, you did find a job. ie: to a man, it makes them feel useless and good for nothing.
you can't "make him" be happy... but offer understanding, lend an ear, try to be sympathetic and not "boast' about your new job... (even though I know you aren't boasting, but to a depressed person, they are sensitive), and certainly, don't "lecture."
Men, derive their "identity" from their jobs... and their income, and their ability to be the bread-winner for the family... to be the "head" of the household. When they lose a job, their self-esteem gets hit... sometimes hard, and they lose focus of "who" they are or what they "were" when they were employed. AND, they don't know what they are capable of.... they question their ability and their intelligence too. They feel worthless. And they can also become irritable too, and of course stressed out.
Make sure he has applied for unemployment... and many times, they offer job search assistance etc.
Hopefully, he can rebound from it, after the initial shock of being unemployed. But if he cannot, and gets further depressed, then he needs to see a Doctor.
Or, have him do "jobs" around the house... fixing things, or offer his services to the neighborhood.... its another name for "networking" and who knows... he may meet someone who offers him a job. If he can remain positive and "busy"... and create projects or himself... it can help him feel pertinent, again, and gainful, and keep his mind and hands busy... in a good way.
His sense of self was derived from his job. Aside from his job, he has to realize that he STILL has a sense of self... and identity. AND that yes, he has a family and wife that love him and appreciate him, no matter what. BUT, he has to "believe" that himself too. Being depressed, I am sure he has a hard time believing that or feeling secure.
Or, he may have to go outside of his comfort zone and train for other kinds of jobs or apply for other kinds of jobs... and who knows- a door may open for him that was unexpected.
Also, maybe he needs "practice" on interviewing and writing a resume too. ALL these things, can make a man feel inadequate...
***ALSO keep in mind, that if you are working and he is home with the Kids... he can't just go out and hunt for jobs or interview or schedule anything. And it may make him feel more stressed-out and inadequate. He can't just tell a potential job "Oh I can't make it I have to babysit..." It does not sound "manly" nor competent to a potential job.
All the best,
Susan
