The Only Time My House Is Clean

Voices from the Blogosphere – Blogger Spotlight

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The Only Time My House Is Clean

I’m sure that it was spectacularly breathtaking. That it was worthy of admiration from every possible angle. I’m sure that I would have eagerly patted myself on the back and been showered with compliments on what a good job I did from anyone who could have seen it.

I have to let myself believe that anyway.

Otherwise, I really did waste three perfectly good hours last night.

I coated the kitchen floor with a urethane wax. Four coats of it. After scrubbing it on my hands and knees two days ago, then cleaning it twice since then.

Why did I have to clean it again before waxing it? Story of my life. Just because it’s clean doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way for any measurable length of time. Certainly not around here, anyway.

Tom asked me more than once why I was bothering last night. Why I was putting in all the effort. He asked me the same thing when I was up late shampooing the carpet a few nights ago. He long ago accepted that we are just going to have to suck it up and replace virtually everything in the house once the kids get a little older. He views my attempts to clean and polish and shine it as little more than exercises in futility.

Which they are. And I know that.

But it drives me crazy. I know we aren’t replacing any of the floors for years still. I have to try, right?

The fact that I have to do so much of it late at night after the kids go to bed just adds insult to injury. I can’t really clean when they are all awake, and I know that whatever I clean will inevitably just get messed up in the morning.

Nothing stays clean and nice and pretty and shiny.

It’s a bit like the old saying, the one that goes a little bit like this:

You can polish a turd, but it’s still a turd.

I realized quickly last night that there’s more than a little truth to that. The wax may have coated the floor with a protective layer, but it also showcased every dent and scratch. Where before they just blended in with the rest of the floor, now they have little shiny spotlights on them. Which is awesome.

I kept trucking though, determined to get a few more coats on it.

I got up this morning to a kid already up in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal. AJ snuck downstairs while I was in the bathroom, and his big sis got him breakfast. He was standing on my newly waxed, beautiful floor. Beneath his feet, the dog half-heartedly licking up the milk. With every step, he spilled more.

Fantastic.

If you ever want to see my house clean, you’re just going to have to come over between the hours of 3AM and 5AM. Before that, I’m not done and whatever I’ve cleaned isn’t dry yet. After that, one of the kids could be awake, systematically undoing all that I’ve just done.

My floor was clean and shiny last night, honest. I’m sure it was awesome.

But you’re just going to have to take my word for it.

Kelly is the mom of 4 very messy kids, and occasionally has a clean house. She blogs at DeBie Hive.