How to Say No When Your Child Asks For a Fidget Spinner
…Just muster all your conviction, and say “NO.” That’s it.
I’m assuming you are reading this because you know for a fact that your child who’s asking for a fidget spinner does NOT have a medical or developmental issue that would warrant a need to be addressed by said gadget. In other words, your child is developmentally normal. And so is mine, which made it effortless for me to say “no.”
Three days ago, I heard the words that I’ve been dreading for the past two months. I honestly thought I was in the clear, but just when I was getting cocky, he blurted, “Mama, can I please have a fidget spinner?” Saying no was not a problem. I didn’t even pause for a second before making it clear to my son that I will not be granting his request. What took longer was explaining to him why I’m saying no.
You absolutely don’t need it. You don’t even fidget, for crying out loud!
I mean, okay, maybe you sometimes tap your fingers, or shake your legs, or move in your chair, touch your hair, scratch your ear or eyes. I don’t care. The point is, your degree of fidgeting is normal and I’ve spoken to every teacher you’ve had in the past seven years and they can all attest to your ability to stay focused. You have no problem with concentration and you’re actually a remarkably good student with no attention span or behavior issues. Even if you did have anxiety, stress or ADHD (who, according to the marketers of this fidget spinner, are the ones who can benefit most from this gadget), I believe there are better ways of helping you with your issues than getting you this spinner.
It’s just a fad (and a useless one in my view).
According to the website of the makers of this device, the fidget spinner is a “new office gadget and children’s toy to help improve focus and concentration while reducing ADHD and bad habits…(They) believe that the symptoms of ADHD and stress can be reduced with (their) tools to release the nervous energy rather than by taking prescription drugs.”
The ‘bad habits’ they refer to are things people do when they’re nervous, stressed out or bored, such as nail biting, gum chewing, or foot-tapping and this fidget toy is supposed to take the place of those bad habits, hence increasing concentration and productivity.
Really? Seriously?? This toy is so new and there is no real scientific data that can back up those claims. Have they really measured before and after cases? Any longitudinal studies to date? How many subjects? What variables were isolated? Until I find reliable scientific data regarding their claims, I’m taking them all to be marketing b.s.
If you really want to stop biting your nails or shaking your leg, just stop. Or maybe do what my generation did and spin your pen instead. No toys needed.
Which brings me to this point…
Let’s be honest: It’s a toy!
And you only want it because everyone else seems to have one even though they don’t know why. What’s worse is that some kids think they need it, end up bringing it to school and then getting distracted by it, therefore getting the opposite effect of what it’s marketed for.
It’s a stupid, unnecessary toy, as far as I’m concerned. It spins. Yeah, get a top, I think we already have one.
You want something that goes around your fingers to keep you occupied? Yeah, you can play with rubber bands too and create cool shapes!
You’re stressed? We have a stress ball for you to squeeze. Or maybe you can just close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths.
This spinner thing is really not that cool and I’m not buying it, literally and figuratively.
I have nothing against buying toys for my son, as long as we can afford it, he deserves or needs it, and bonus points if I’m a fan of it. But this fidget spinner fad bugs the heck out of me. I don’t want my son to fall into the trap of wanting something just because others have it. I don’t want him to think it’s okay to spend money on something just because it’s cheap or he can afford it. I want him to pause and think about its purpose, why he truly wants something, what he’ll get out of it, and if the gadget or toy truly makes sense.
This one does not. And I don’t like how it hides behind the façade of being developmentally or cognitively beneficial. If children suffer from anxiety, stress, or ADHD, there are a ton of experts who can more effectively help out and can equip these children with practices backed by true science and research. There is no single magic tool, spinning or not, that can address those issues, at least not yet. I don’t care if it’s 99 cents or fifteen dollars. The answer is NO.
Joy Page Manuel is a writer, blogger, hopeless romantic and full-time over-analyzer who lives in Middle Tennessee with her husband and son. She was born and raised in the Philippines and was an academic who taught Sociology in that past life. She blogs at Catharsis where she indulges all her cerebral meanders as she navigates the world of parenting, mid-life angst and everything in between. You can follow her on Facebook and Google+.
