How to Get More “Me” Time
With a new-or not so new-baby at home, making time for yourself is not easy. Add to that your spouse, your work, any other children and just life in general and you might even start to feel invisible. But believe it or not, you can carve out some quality time for yourself. Manyesha Batist is a Denver-based life coach with two children and says, “As a mom, our life revolves around others, but it’s impossible for us to be the best mom or person we can be if we’re not experiencing adequate rest and playtime for ourselves. These two factors must be a priority for us as individuals. When they’re not, we burn out and fail to really enjoy one of the best times of our life—our kid’s growing-up years!” (www.manyeshabatist.com). Here are a few more tips to honor yourself and to remember who you are!
1. Two useful words: “No” and “Help.” Saying “no” and telling people you need help doesn’t make you a bad person or render you less of a Superwoman. Quite the opposite. They help you set boundaries so you can control your life and not become overwhelmed by it. If you don’t speak up, everyone around you will assume everything’s OK when it’s not.
2. Set an earlier-than-normal wakeup time. Even 20 minutes a day of quiet time will make a huge difference in your energy and mind-body health. Use that time to soak in a bath, meditate, read or just sit in the dark in your bedroom to daydream. It’s also a nice treat to sit in your backyard at dusk to watch the sunrise and hear the birds in the morning.
3. Hire a maid or a babysitter. If you keep the mindset that you have to do it all yourself, you’ll eventually start to break down and form hostility and resentment. And those around you-your family and your friends-likely won’t have a clue that anything’s wrong. The expenditure is worth it. Take the time to have a girl’s night out or a date night or go to a poetry slam at the local indie bookstore.
4. When the grandparents offer to look after the kids, take them up on it! This works on a multi-generational level. Your folks will feel useful and involved and your kids-no matter how small-will get to really know and love their nana and pop-pop. And as for you, Miss Thang, you’ll get some precious alone time by yourself or with your SO.
5. Make sure your family understands you need a time out and that they respect it. If your kids are too young to understand, make sure that at least your partner understands it when you ask for your own time out. You could even have a code word that warns your SO to get everyone to back off. This is not a time to argue or for the family to whine and be demanding. Your time out means just that. The fam backs away until you say it’s OK to approach once again.
All in all, getting more “me” time involves not asking those around you but rather telling them what you need and want. Your loved ones aren’t likely to look for clues that you need something unless you tell them so. Batist reminds, “And let’s be honest, oftentimes, we are our own biggest obstacle to getting sufficient time to ourselves. We allow everyone else’s priorities to supersede our own—and they do, they crowd out any time we could have to relax or enjoy ourselves for even just a minute. We must be willing to allow for a shift in our thinking that helps us see the value in loving ourselves—and our loved ones—enough to show ourselves the care we need.”
Shelley Moench-Kelly, MBA, is a New England-based writer and editor whose freelance clients include Google, L’Oreal Paris and TheWeek.com.
