Yup. I'm 26 Years Old.

Updated on October 13, 2011
E.D. asks from Olympia, WA
32 answers

Well, darn. I've had several disappointing age interactions this week. I am 26 years of age. Sure, how long I've been around certainly shapes and informs my world view/experiences/opinions/values/norms/etc. Is it the sum of my experience or the defining description of who I am and how I've made meaning of my life? Nope. Is it appropriate to prejudge me/someone else based on my/their age. Not in my book. Would it be appropriate if I asked a woman my elder/younger HER age out of the blue or to interrupt her communication to ask her age, or if I acted as though her real (or perceived) age is a good indication of her exact and whole self? Nope.

Good grief. There are so many fantastic reasons to NOT take me seriously ;-) But age? Really? Hmph.

Would any of you be willing to share your experience with this? Any kind responses in your tool box? Do you laugh it off, does it bum you out, does it matter to you? Do you face a different expression of ageism? What do you find helpful when dealing with it?

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So What Happened?

I don't need folks to see me as a different age, or to think I know it all ('cause I don't). I do want folks to treat me with respect. I try to be respectful (not always successfully).

I do (mostly!) enjoy my life, 9617 days into it (give or take a few) but I don't enjoy being dismissed based on my age. I believe we deserve to be treated with mutual respect no matter our age. We can't quantify our experience or the meaning we've made from it. Our experiences need not be in competition. In my experience, comparisons are useful as a reference point (and they are human nature) but I don't believe it's helpful to see a comparison as the totality of a truth. Comparisons are useful in active listening and in developing empathy (what would *I* be feeling if I were in your shoes / what was that like for me), but it's helpful to remember that our experience is but our own (i.e. I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. You don't know what it's like to be in mine. We probably can relate and find similarities on some/many levels. We probably can find differences too.) Our experiences can look similar externally and feel different internally. The converse is also true.

I've learnt what I've learnt when I've learnt it, but it's not a linear process or a process I graduate from (THERE! I'm perfect now and filled with wisdom! I'm done, see YOU all later) It's not quantifiable. It's subjective and personal. I hope I get to learn until my passing day. That, to me, would be a life well lived. I've learnt a lot from folks in their teenage years and I've learnt from folks in their eighties. I usually don't get to pick my messenger - but I do have the choice and opportunity to listen to the messages.

Oops, I am rambling. Back on track!!!

I don't expect or want to teach others to conform to my experience. That's not my job or goal. I do expect to be treated respectfully, especially when in a professional setting. Just trying to come up with some assertive and kind boundaries. Hoping this day finds you well and thanks for your input!

Featured Answers

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

20 somethings think they know everything. 30 somethings are starting to question their previous notions, but are still pretty certain they've got it. 40 somethings realize they don't know SHEEEEET. I don't know what 50 year old's think. I'll know soon enough. I'm 45 today and realize that I really am not that old.

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C.B.

answers from Seattle on

Oh man, this drives me crazy! I've always looked much younger than I am and I get A LOT of judgment for being a "teenage mom." (I'm 27 with a 2 1/2 year old.) I always think, "I'm not a teenager! But, if I was, would that really be helpful?!

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

The old saying is - with age comes experience.

I don't let age stop me. I will state that you "talk"/type - with the mannerism of an older W.....not in her 50's mind you - but a W. who has had some experiences in life.

If someone remarks about my age? I just laugh it off. Don't sweat the small stuff Ephie..

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

I liked 26 very much. Wanna trade? 45 is turning out to be a little more challenging than I expected!

My guy is 55 with a 32 year old daughter. Her husband is 44, so when they refer to us as 'the folks' it creeps me out a little.

Hang on to that 20 somethin' as long as you can, cuz when you wake up tomorrow, it'll be 40 something!

:)

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S.Q.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am often mistaken for my staff's assistant or secretary because I'm the youngest in the organisation. The other day a supplier was delivering a tender for a project I'm developing, and while addressing me as 'kiddo', told me to take it to my boss... I'm the CEO. My 'boss' - who is one of my line managers - later put him right. He was embarrassed, but it doesn't really worry me. I feel very secure in my position despite my 'relative' youth.

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J.C.

answers from Columbus on

Yeah, I agree with Grandma T. I wanted you for "my" generation too. (I'm 43) I wanted to claim you for 'us'. And I guess that makes me an ageist. I assumed that you were on the planet longer than you have been because of your insightful responses. Truly no one in their 20's could be that sensitive and literate and generous!?!

I stand corrected and a little humbled.

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ღ..

answers from Detroit on

Ephie, there is no way when you speak that they arent taking you seriously. I dont think thats the case, I think they are just shocked at your knowledge at such a young age. And if for some crazy reason they are not taking you seriously, they are missing out. Their loss. :)

I had a woman last week act like I broke out of high school and stole 3 children. Oh well, better than being accused of being their grandma right?

Happy Belated Birthday Punkin!

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

At 26, I was an idiot. I didn't think so, however, I only know it in hindsight. But I don't think all 26 year olds are idiots. And I tend to treat many people in their 20's (esp. early 20's) as kids. But not in a bad way.

I do think, however, that there are some things that can only be learned with time.

But it's obvious you're no dummy, Ephie.

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

You seem very worldly to me and I never would have guessed your age. I remember when I was in my late twenties I thought I could stay that age forever. I was young, hip and wise. Then I loved my life in my thirties and now I am 40. I work with kids that will ask how old I am. I proudly tell them, "I'm 40, but you probably shouldn't ask that question because most people don't like to say their age."
I have gained a lot of insight from many of your posts and have learned a long time ago that nuggets of great advice can come from anyone at any age, so if I am truly smart, I will humble myself, listen and use what applies to me and tuck the rest away for another day. I have worked with so many colleagues that range in age from early 20's to 70's. After awhile, they truly become ageless to me and I wouldn't want it any other way!
God Bless!
A.

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H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

Hey I'll be 26 at the end of the month!!

I actually get that a lot. I'm 25 have a 3 y/o and a 1 y/o. So I was 22 when my 1st son was born.
My sister tells me, "oh I forgot you were so young! You're still a baby!"
But in a cute fashion.
I get a lot of people that don't take me seriously. They think because I'm 25 that I don't know jack about the world.
I've had people tell me that "MY" generation is a bunch of spoiled kids who get everything from their parents. I was in shock.
I have seriously had to put people in their place about it before. Not strangers but people who have been around my family for years.

I try to ignore it most of the time because I know me. I know the life I have had up until this point. I know the blood, sweat, and tears I've shed in my life to get to where I am.

I'm a (almost) 26 y/o mother of two.
I moved out on my own when I was 16, with no help.
I've been beaten, abused, and worse
I've been homeless
I've starved,
I've been alone,
I have moved 34times in the last 10 years.
I've survived Hell
I now have a wonderful family, we own a house, have no debt, and I am the money lady.

So Be proud of you, ignore the jerks. YOU know

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Ephie,
Actions speak so much louder than words, don't you think?
Your self-reflection and maturity is very evident in your writing, I can't imagine it would not shine through in person as well.
Be yourself.
Don't be O. of those "whippersnappers" that goes around declaring "I'm SO mature!"
Because that's SO -- not. :)

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

This is funny to me Ephie because for some reason your name made me think you were more "my" generation.
I do think there is a given predisposition expectation about age. Age usually means "experience".
A lot of my applicants ask me "how long" I have been managing this property, they feel better knowing I've been here for 5 years rather than just 6 mos.
I guess when you are "younger" than coworkers or clients having a "degree" sort of helps make them think you know what you are doing... and dont we pay dearly for that piece of paper these days?

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

maybe you look great for your age??

i don't know...i've always been an old soul, related more to more mature people....always found it more awkward to associate with people my age vs people's my mother's age. so i've never had this issue come up.

except when people think i look younger than i am. which is fine with me! :)

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G.S.

answers from New York on

It is inappropriate if someone made a comment about your age, or snubbed you due to the fact that you were younger than the rest of the bunch. Stand your ground if someone pulls something like that off. Don't move away from the conversation, and if someone cuts you off to speak or tries to over power you, then raise your voice a bit, and continue talking. Very disrespectful.

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

I'm with you... I'm 27 and people definitely judge me by that... until I speak. I have a really old soul. All my friends are 40, give or take a year.

I definitely look young... I'm really short, petite, and yeah, my daughters can wear some of my clothes (not my pants, but shirts and stuff)... so that doesn't help!!

It doesn't bother me so much anymore. No, I'm never going to 'grow up' (where's the fun in that?!) BUT I'm very, very mature for my age. If you knew me personally, you'd know exactly what I mean ;)

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

I think we are all a little prejudicial based on age at times. If you hear an 18 yr old spouting off their ideas at times it is easy to think 'well you'll learn ;)'. It doesn't bother me when it comes to age bc I have always been a bit more on the mature side and come off older than I am. Now my age and maturity are starting to meet up a bit more, but I still come off older a good bit. So when people ask how old I am, I don't care. Now I look back at myself in my twenties and think of how much I have grown since then and I am sure in 10 more years I will as well. If someone older than me doesn't take me seriously, it's ok, they have been around longer and heck, maybe they are right!! When I am in their position I might feel exactly as they feel. On some subjects I know I will grow, but my core position will be the same, but on a lot of things I may do a 180 15 yrs from now. I also have no problem with having more knowledge in an area than an older person, all of us come from so many walks of life and pursue life differently. So if I do know something someone older than me isn't aware of, I might share, but I don't correct an older person out of respect. Anyway, I guess I said all that to say I am in the 'it really doesn't bother me' camp.

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N.D.

answers from Portland on

"Iin my experience, if someone is asking me about my age it is because they are either threatened by me or they are impressed."

i think in either situation, you could respond with a cute 'i'll tell you mine if you tell me yours'. that will make them think twice, especially if they don't want to reveal their age :P or they'll choose to elaborate on why they want to know in the first place.

one of my pet peeves is in regards to sizeism. because i am petite, people have asked me bluntly what size i wear. i'm usually caught off guard but i will ask them to give me their size first next time. i mean it would be considered rude to ask an obese person their size, right? the same should apply to the other end of the spectrum. why do we have to ask at all...

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T.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Totally been there! So annoying - Especially when that age question comes up and it has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I always answered with that famous quote: "Old enough to know better, but too young to care". That put them in their place and graciously reminded them that they were out of line. :-)

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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I'm 26 too, and now that I have had a kid (and about to have another) I actually look it. I am short (like 5ft2) and my whole childhood people thought I was younger then I was (it took me a while to reach my full height) I have also been told I have a "baby face" and before i had kids I had no hips and no breasts I seriously had to do clothes shopping (some not all) in the little boys department. People would ask for an ID when I would write a check and they would straight out ask me if the ID is fake! I went out with a friend to celebrate her 21st bday (I was 22) and we ordered drinks. Well it took us 30 minutes to get served them because 5 employees and 2 managers had to look at our IDs because they didn't believe either one of us were of age! When I was 21 people would confuse me with my 15 year old sister (who is taller then me)

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A.C.

answers from Boston on

I've never really been bothered by this. Of course, I never just answer them straight either. My responses range from "How old do you think I am?" to "How old do you need me to be?" or "I'm older than I look" and "I'm old enough to ...". If I think someone is out of line, I will turn it around and ask "Why does it matter?" or "If you tell me how old you are then I'll tell you how old I am." IMO the only time a person age should be asked is if they are buying an age restricted item or making sure that they are at least 18 if there are romantic intentions.

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R.A.

answers from Providence on

It bothered me when I first started working in the mental health field. I was 21 years old . Most of my clients would not trust that a person " my age" could possibly help them with their mental illness/drug addiction, at first. However, after a few months of working with them, they warmed up and really started to trust me. It was a great thing. Now they find it funny to see me, making fun of my wrinkles and grey stripes in my hair. Age is just a number. If you can make a difference in someone's life it doesn't matter at all.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

It really depends on why they ask. My daughter has been asked her age since she was 14, she does not act her age, she acts much older. Well except when she is around her peers then she is a goof like me. :) Oh wait I do the same thing except even around my coworkers I act a goof. I just don't want to be that accountant, ya know the one, the ones that would be really good in a fiber commercial.....

There are some things you really don't get until you are older. I didn't believe it at your age either or perhaps you do. I have talked to younger people and thought oh life is going to straighten them out real good. To ask their age, to condescend at that level, what does that tell younger people? That we don't get enough fiber? I have no idea why I am fixated on fiber at the moment.

Meh, kinda rambling here. I guess because I have always respected my kids ability to form their own thoughts since they were around 2 I just treat any younger person the same way. I may try to shape their thoughts if I disagree but I don't belittle them into thinking as I do by questioning their wisdom. In my opinion when you ask someone their age you are actually questioning their wisdom, ya know?

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✩.!.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have quickly learned that "I really do not know it all" so when I find someone critiqueing (sp?) me or letting me know that I still have a lot to learn I try to listen to what they have to say.

Now if they are a$$holes about it then I just tell them to eff off and get a life. (Harsh - but I don't like being treated like I am an idiot).

Good luck - and yes I will admit as well that I am suprise to hear you are only 26 yrs old

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I remember that happening to me when I was your age. It would piss me off! I was actually happy when I started getting grey hairs and hit 30. I felt like those people started taking me seriously. I never said anything in retaliation to people like this...that just seemed too immature to me.

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✿.*.

answers from Los Angeles on

LOL, I thought you were older than me...I just turned 42 (Sept 25th). I remember the "getting to know you post" and a very nice one expressing your gratitude for the ladies on the board. Everything about your post left me with an endearing feeling for someone older than myself. Maybe it was the emotional maturity...oh, and the way you spoke of your husband too :) I don't know, but I'm guilty....I thought you were older!

I have always been "old for my age", and definitely an old soul, I was born that way :) In my (previous) profession (commercial mortgage backed securities/investment banking) I worked with a lot of patronizing old school bastards that treated me like a piece of a$$! But, I persevered and achieved a lot of my goals and have thick skin to boot! It was always more challenging for me because I had to prove myself, NOW I am so into just being REAL!!!

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

Tell them you are old enough! and leave it alone. No one knows what you have lived through. You may have the life experience of a 60 year old and be only 26, or the maturity of a 16 year old. It really doesn't matter. But be proud of your age. And if they interrupt you don't answer.

Until I was over 50, everyone thought I was too young. Now that I am over 60, I wish people would think I was too young. Awe, for those days.......

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L.G.

answers from Buffalo on

To be honest with you, we may be 26 but we are a lot smarter and mature then some older woman out there. I do not get that oh my she is so young look because I do not allow it. I tell it how it is, I mind my elders to a point and I will listen to what others say but you better be sure I will say what is on my mind. I never allow others to tell me how to be a parent because I see their parenting skills and it is not pretty and if someone wants to judge me, then so be it. Just brush it off and be your own person. Do not let others make you feel like you do not matter or that you are too young because everyone has been at this age before. It is true, we learn as we grow and age, but do people always learn with age? Nope, a few do while a few keep acting like immature children and play high school games. Don't let it bother you!

J.S.

answers from Seattle on

I've had a lot of experiences where I think my opinions being judged or blown off because of my age, but my husband tells me it's all in my head! I am 30 and have 4 daughters (ages 1 - 9). I also have 23 nieces and nephews and have babysat all my life, so when I give experiences or advice to someone it's pretty well grounded, you know? But just about all the parents I know with kids my age are ten years older than me, and sometimes I feel really small. But honestly, turning 30 helped me. For many years I dreaded it - thought 40 would be much better than 30 because I saw my 30's as being lost to raising children and finally by 40 they'd be pretty well on their way and I could get back to focusing on my interests again. But now that 30 has come, I feel more validated and like I'm taken more seriously by my peers.

So I guess my husband must have been right - it might have been in my head! I try to live the way my highly respected grandpa did: Don't speak unless you have something worthwhile to say. And when you live that way, people do listen up when you say something, because they know you aren't just a blabber!

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E.J.

answers from Portland on

Iin my experience, if someone is asking me about my age it is because they are either threatened by me or they are impressed. I think that people do gain experience and objectiveness through age. That is why some people can be impressed when a younger person might show a mature view of the world. I would try and take it as a compliment when appropriate.

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Oh hon, laugh it off and ENJOY the fact that you're "only 26"!
I remember being "only 26"...now I'm 34...and can't really apply the "only" to it anymore. I'm feeling older now, and people call me ma'am all of a sudden.

I realize it's just part of aging, but I miss being called "miss"! :)

People perceive you in how you carry yourself. Make sure that you hold your head up, have confidence (doesn't sound like a problem for you), and the rest will happen on it's own!

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K.M.

answers from Seattle on

I'm 33 and I still get carded for lighters and dry ice (you have to be 18 to buy these things). I laugh it off, it's a compliment really. I try to make sure that I sound intelligent when I open my mouth, but if people want to look at me and think I am a little blond airhead, that's fine. It just makes it that much more enjoyable when they realize there is actually a brain in this head.

N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

You could always say, "Not that is has any bearing in the conversation at hand but I'm on my fourth lifetime and, as trying as being preternaturally long-lived is, I wouldn't give it up for the world." Then flash 'em a knowing smile and continue what you were saying. Ask a stupid question ect all...

I'd also be ok with, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours..." with a little head cocked coyly and an eyebrow waggle thrown in for good measure.

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