Does Age Really Matter? - Richmond,VA

Hubby and I have a two year age difference. We grew up together. A 12 year difference is okay but I think its gross when people date someone that could be their mom or dad

I don't have any issues with the age difference. I just would not marry someone with a large age difference as I wouldn't want to be stuck being an old man's caregiver while I'm still relatively young. For example, when you're only 60, he'll be 72. I have seen it with my mother and MIL.

My husband is 6 months older...we are highschool sweethearts....lol!

I would not personally go for a large age gap. That is just me. Everyone is different. If you are in love and happy with each other, the age should not matter.

um, there's 23 years difference between my husband and i, i'm 27 and he's 50, been married almost 2 years; he has a daughter that is 24 with 2 kids of her own and her oldest is actually older than my daughter who is fixing to be 8-we just found out about her less than a year ago; long story-dont' need to go there, he has 2 other daughter's, 13 and 15, does anyone think it's weird? i'm sure they do, do i care? NO because we are happy, through him, i have neices and nephew's older than me, do they like it? no, do i care? no, they are not close to me or my husband ne ways, have little to nothing to do with them, my inlaws are the same age as my grandparents, LOVE LOVE LOVE my fil, mil and i have a few issues. husband's younger brother is older than i am.......BUT i love my husband and i have to answer to myself at night, and why be miserable for the rest of your life because the ONE person you really love is "too old"

My husband is 8 years older than me. I think the age gap has been a blessing, as I do believe the maturity levels are so different when in our 20's. Now, 12 years later, after 8 years of marriage and 3 children, we haven't seen or had any issues! Although I'll admit that I had great fun when he turned 40 this year!!! I'm sure the lady, if you can even call her a lady, was jealous maybe? Stand up tall and be proud!!

My husband is 11 years older than I am anad there is no problem. Yes there are some ew factors - he is the youngest of 3 and his oldest brother is the same age as my folks and I am actually closer in age to his nephew than I am to him. An then there are some funny things, we have a lot of couples for friends that are maybe 10 years older than he is. They never once had a problem with my age, and we all laugh because some of thier children (my age) have children the same age as my daughter and we talk about setting thier sons up with my daughter sometime in the future :)

My guess is the lady who went nuts in you has some issues of her own she needs to deal with - if you are comfortable with th eage differnce, then it is nobody else's business.

I think once you're both legal adults, age is just a number. Yes, when I see 65 and 70 year old men with 25 year olds, I will admit to making plenty of judgments! However, those are the extremes. My parents were 8 years apart, and my mother actually always encouraged me to date "older" men -as in 8-12 years older because of their greater maturity factor -especially when I was in my 20s. I did date two guys back to back who were both 12 years older than me, so I know you have a good situation. When I was in my mid to late 20s and they were in their late 30s and early 40s, we had a great time! Neither relationship ended because of age. The only time I ever thought about our age differences was when I realized that they were both exactly between my and my mother's ages! They were both 12 years older than me, and my mom was 12 years older than them! It was a little odd to think of it that way, but so what? Despite my mother's encouragement, and my dating some older guys -I would up married to a man who is actually 9 whole months (GASP!) younger than me ;-)

I believe I've mentioned on here before that I have a cousin whose husband is 27 years older! While that may be a drastic age difference for many, I believe they're truly soul mates. Because of legality and the fact she was so young, they waited until she was over 16 to date and married the day after her high school graduation. By all appearances and the 3 grown children they now have, they are still very happy together. Yes, he will probably die long before she does, but for almost 40 years now they've been happy as clams! Most of us would be lucky to get 40 happy years with someone.

That woman in the store was ignorant and unsophisticated, not to mention INCREDIBLY rude! What business is it of hers, anyway? Even if I may think, "WOW" about something when I run into a person I've known, I keep it to myself! She should learn to do the same.

age generalizations are just that, generalizations. for MOST huge age gaps create certain problems, but there will always be exceptions to any rule, and there are MANY exceptions to this one.
the notion that marriage partners should be similar in age is relatively new. for centuries it was a given that older men (often MUCH older men) would marry very very young women, often barely pubescent. thank all the gods we've moved past that.
i have a dear friend whose husband is 20 years older than she. he currently has fairly advanced alzheimers, and it's a strain for her and their 5 kids. but that's not a given, and if you asked her if she'd have changed anything if she had known, she'd probably pop you one<G>.
i went the other way. my ol' man is actually 3 years younger. i like 'em feisty.
;) khairete
S.

I think it matters more when the guy is younger. But also there is also the common interest thing. When there are too many yrs between spouses you loose the " do you remember" factor and I love that , love being able to relate to each other about things in our childhood.

My husband is 12 years older then me. I met him when I was 20 and we have been happily married for 22 years now. We have a lot of things in common and enjoy each others company. We still hold hands whenever we are together which is more then I can say for a lot of my friends.There were a few times I was asked if he was my father when we first started dating. We just laughed it off and it gave me something to tease him about.(I look young for my age) I am 46 and my husband is 58 so right now he's looking forward to retirement and I am changing my career. So yes we are at different stages of our lives but it doesn't mean it doesn't work together. I cannot wait for him to retire and be in charge of cleaning, laundry and cooking!!! And if the times comes that I need to take care of him it will be the least I can do for the man I love and has shared his life with me. It will not be some horrible burden! Age only matters if you let it. Go with your heart in the end that is what really matters.
Oh and by the way to those of you who thinks sex is a problem not here. My "old man" is still going strong! LOL! :)

I got you beat again :o). My husband is 17 years older than me...again, he neither looks or acts 44. We are in love and happy. He and I started out as a summer fling type of thing and it turned into kids and marriage. We are happy though. And I know some people have a problem with it, but I could care less. I don't judge other poeple for who they date or what they do, so I don't expect people to do it to me either. If you and your man are happy - ENJOY each other :).

haha,to the person below me!! When I was 19 I dated a man who was 32. We had a 13 year difference!! A lot of people thought it was a bit "wierd" but it worked for us. We were together for 3 1/2 years and I was truly in love with him. I think nothing bad of him when I remember our relationship. Unfortunately, for him!, we broke up since he didn't want to get married or have children (which I didn't want either when we started dating...I changed! he didn't) and he and I remained friends for a long time after.
I know a lot of people think it was odd, a lot of people gave him the congratulatory hand shake for snagging a "young one" and we just ignored it all.
L.
(BTW, married now...2 kids...one on the way, husband is only a year older)

How rude! There's only a 4 year difference between myself and my husband, but a friend of mine has an almost 20 year difference and they're perfectly happy.

Great question!! My hubby and I are 23 years different. It makes it a little confusing to explain out family dynamics to other people. Ex.I am a grandma at the age of 31, to 4 beautiful kids, from his previous marriage he had 3 children, who are now grown and have their own kids.
Something sparked when I met my man, and I know we were meant to be together. He is a wonderful hubby, provider, and father, & stepfather. I think I bring out his personality a bit. He is usually very quiet and reserved. My family absolutely LOVES him because he is such a great man!

In general I don't think the age thing really matters UNLESS...the guy is in his early 20's and the woman is in her 30's or older. Men are still very immature at that age. Other than that I don't think there's a huge difference. Although my aunt is 10 year younger than her husband and now that she's in her 60's and he's well into his 70's there is a difference. She's still active and he's really slowing down.
When I was single, I dated various ages, but I married a man only a year older than myself.

I think 12 is a huge age difference is one person is 18 and the other is 30 (maturity level, interests, ability to legally drink)...as you get older (in your 30s-50s), it matters less....but then once you get MUCH older, it starts to matter a lot again (men generally die earlier and that is a much longer time to be alone or caring for someone who is deteriorating). Just some thoughts.

My husband and I are 1.5 years apart (he is older). We did not meet until I was 26.

My husband is 13 years older than me. It has it's pros and cons. We've been married for 10 years. We've had our ups and downs like any marriage. It's a bit wierd though when you consider that I am 7 years older than his daughter and 9 years older than his son. But we fell in love and somehow or another it works for us. We have two children together, a 7 year old daughter and a 14 month old son. So as you see we also have a wide range of ages with the kids as well. From 32 years down to 14 months. It's never too late. It keeps us young in a sense. I wouldn't worry about what others say or think. If they have a problem that's their issue to deal with. If it works out for you and you don't have a problem with it that's all that matters. Love comes in all shapes, sizes and ages!

My husband is 8 years older than me. I have always liked going out with older men b/c the ones my age always acted like idiots. He and I are basically twins separated at birth - we are SO similar. The only time it causes a "problem" is when I want to go out and do things and he acts like an old man but that's more him being anti-social! Sometimes he will say something about being in college/etc. in 1984 and he'll ask me if I remember and I'll say, "No, I was 10!" And we'll both go "Ewww!" LOL

Age doesn't matter even if it looks weird to outsiders. My sister's husband is about 19 years older than she. He was getting married the first time the year she was born and she is the same age as one of his daughters. They have been married for 25 years. It worked for my sister because she can't have children and since he already had some, it wasn't something she would have to deal with down the road.

My husband is 5 years older than me and all of the girls he knew from high school ignore me because I am younger than they are. We even went to the same school and have children the same age and yet...they are just idiots. I don't look young for my age - I look like a woman approaching 40 who has had 3 children. And I am proud of that. I can't figure out if these women used to like my dh or if it really is an age thing...knowing women, it is probably a little of both but either way it is what it is.

What matters is how you treat each other. When all is said and done it is only love that matters. Love for each other, love for our children, love for our neighbors, and love for our enemies (especially the ones who make rude comments in a public place;)

Lol, I totally get what you mean. My family and some friends don't understand why I'm dating an older guy. We're 11 years apart and he's perfect for me. I've always prefered older guys bcause the guys my age or a little older always seemed immature or simply not on the same level as me. I know some older guys can be immature as well but I'm happy wih who i'm with. I'm an adult and I can choose to be with whomever I please. So I agree, no age shouldn't matter (as long as everyones legal of course ;)

No, I don't think age matters -- what matter is your relationship. People find connections between each other and it doesn't have so much to do with age.

My husband is 17 years older than me. We met when I was 18. Yes, in the beginning it caused some issues (I was in college and wanted to spread my wings a bit), but after a week, I realized I couldn't live without him.

He is closer to my parents age group than mine, but it works for us. (And he generally gets along with my parents). Only down side is that if there is something he has experienced that I haven't it sometimes (not often) causes a disagreement, but we communicate through it and move on.

LOL....My husband and I ARE high school sweethearts! We're about 2 months apart, with me being older ;)

I don't really care how far apart other people are - it's none of my business who someone chooses to love regarding race, age, sex, etc. As long as it's a HEALTHY relationship who am I to judge?

My fiance is 10 years younger than me.

In the past, I would have sworn that I'd never date a man that much my junior, mainly due to differences in maturity. But I have to tell you that he definitely broke the mold, because he is the most mature man I have been with, despite his age. Sometimes it bothers me a little - just because of the perception, which I shouldn't care about - but once in a while, it bugs me a little. But in terms of compatibility, we are perfectly suited, and that's what really matters.

My husband is 6 years younger than me. A nurse called me a cougar at a prenatal appointment last year when I have her our info. I wanted to kick her. Um, SIX years lady - not 20.

No one knows if we don't tell them.

I have a good friend whose husband is at least 20 years older than her. It looks a bit odd, but then you get to lknow them, and can't imagine them with anyone else.

That friend's wife sounds to me like she's bitter about something. : )

I don't think 12 years is weird, she sounds really immature becasue that is an odd response. I don't think the age difference is a big deal.

My husband is 2 years older than me so I don't have experience with a gap in age.

That woman was wacky!! My husband and I are 10 years apart. I think it's great! He had most of his running around done when we met. He is mature and I felt like the men my age were not. He has never cheated on me and I know never will and my girl friends can't say the same about their men. They want everything instantly, meaning they don't understand how to work to acheive a goal. I like feeling like we are equals and I didn't feel like that with someone my age, I felt too much like their mom because I took life serious, yet could still have a good time. They didn't have balance, they needed me for that and I couldn't stand that. So on that note congrats for finding someone your compatible with!! The other woman is close minded.

My husband and I are almost 12 years apart. Its never been an issue and most people don't know unless we tell them since he looks 10 years younger than he really is. Funny story when I first met him I actually commented that I would never date anyone as old as him. Guess I ate my words!

For what it's worth -- My husband and I are only 6 months apart.

I really do not care what the age difference is for other people. What I care about is that they do not give off a creepy or otherwise dysfunctional vibe as a couple; regardless of their ages. I think age becomes less and less relevant as we get older. For example:

In playgroups, there is a very large difference between a 2 yr old and a 3 yr old.

I suspect that as my son gets older, he will feel less inclined to play with his little brother. Right now 4 yrs doesn't seem like a big deal, but when he hits 13-16, I bet he'll think is brother is a pest.

I would be alarmed if a 12-15 was "dating" someone more than 1 yr older. I would be alarmed if a 16-18 yr old was dating someone more than 2 yrs older.

Once a person is out of high school, then I would simply say use judgement and ask yourself, what would a 30 yr old have in common with someone 10+ yrs younger than themselves? If you can answer that question to your satisfaction, then who cares what anyone else thinks?

Once you have hit your 30s, all bets are off. With the major growing up things under your belt like high school, college, career, first home, several relationships, etc. you have more in common with people of any age than differences.

How rude of her!
Yes, 12 years might be a big age gap if you're 12 and he's 24--lol
Lots of other factors apply--maturity level is a big O..
If you "feel" the same age as each other, then it's right!
I've dated men younger, same and older (by 8 years) than me in the past.
BTW, my hubby is 3.5 yrs older than me.

R.,
I know you said your brushing it off. Hah! It's hard to brush off such a personal affront. Even if you know you are deliriously happy this gals rudeness to you hurts a little. She may not be a bad person, she just was a little too open with her personal feelings.

My husband and I are the same age. We are soul mates. It helps that generationally we are in sync. But there is more than one way to skin a cat! 12 1/2 years isn't so much. I don't see it as a big deal if you guys are in sync with your views of life.

don't worry. be happy!

I'll bet she's jealous. LOL. I had a relationship with a man who was 10 years older than me, and it was one of the best ones I ever had. He, unfortunately, died just when it looked like we were about to commit to one another. He was a good man and we had a good relationship. And that's what was important.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it once you're an adult. When teen girls date men that are several years older than them, then I have a problem with it. There's only 1.5 year age difference between my husband & I. Brush it off girl! Some people need filters on their mouths! :)

I don't think 12.5 years age difference is a big deal. You are both adults! That was very rude of her. Me and my husband are only 2 months apart in age.

My aunts husband (rip uncle frank) was 15 years older than her. I think when he hits 60 and you are 48 he will do his best to keep up with you and you can keep him young for awhile... but eventually the sex part will diminish... probably why they invented viagra.... for just these cases.
I dont think the age gap is bad when you are older and mature... but if you are in your early 20's and he's in his 30's I'd question his maturity or ability to communicate with people of his own age.
Bottom line is that if you are both communicato with each other and enjoy each other, NO there is nothing wrong with the age gap. I dont think people these days are surprised or shocked to see that stuff anymore.....I doubt you will be judged much, so dont judge yourself.... no one really cares.... it's a selfish world these days and everyone is more concerned with themselves than they are about us.

My ex husband was 12 yrs older tha-and one yr older than I amand 1 yr older than my step dad! It's not like you started dating when you were in first grade and he was in college! My current husband-(sounds like I intend to have more)is 7 yrs younger-what is age anyway? A number. If you run into that rude gal again-I bet you're young enough to outrun her! Some people just want you to feel small-and I know you won't let them.

When I was 19 I dated someone 20 years my senior. It didn't work out for a variety of reasons, but none of them was age. A lot of people thought it was weird, but it worked for us.

My now husband is 8.5 years older than me. I don't even think about it. Well, I do lately because he's turning 40 this year and I like to tease him about it : ) But other than that, I don't notice anything significant about the age gap.

You just be happy you ended up with the right person and don't worry about what other people say.

My husband is 8 yrs older than me and I tease him about it every once in awhile. No one has ever said anything negative about our age difference. My husband looks younger than he is too.

I'm sorry that woman was so rude. Glad that her husband apologized!

Well, I'm actually 4 mo. older than my hubby, but I know one couple with a 10 year difference, and one with (I believe) a 15 year difference. Then I know of another couple where the guy actually babysat the girl when she was an infant. 20 some years later they got married. With the couples I know personally, they're happy. I think the "sick" comment was such poor taste. There gets to be an age where age doesn't matter. I mean, I wouldn't want a 28 yr old dating a 16 yr old, but once everyone's an adult, I don't think it's a big deal. On, and on the other side, my mother in law is 10 years older than my father in law and they have a wonderful relationship.

Well.....my parents have been married, I would say......thirty...hmmm...41 years. My parents are 29 years difference, with my father turning 88 this year. I always had older boyfriends and loved it. I swore, younger men were not for me. Now, I am totally in love with my significant other and he's 5 years younger than I am. He is by far the best man I have ever met for me!!! At first, it bothered me because he's nine months older than my brother, but, we get along so well and are now expecting our first baby girl together! So, with love, age does not matter.

My husband and I are the same age, but my stepbrother and his wife have almost 20 years between them. She's closer in age to my dad than she is to my brother. It doesn't bother them, so it doesn't bother me. It's not like you guys are teenagers. I think once you get to a certain point in your life, age doesn't really matter anymore. You're both consenting adults and you're happy together.

I'm 3 years older than my husband and two of my sisters married men that were 7+ years younger. One of them will be celebrating her 30th wedding anniversary in March. So, I don't think age differences matter to the couple involved. It was inappropriate of the woman to express her disapproval in such a vocal manner. Don't waste your time on her. Enjoy your relationship to it's fullest, it's the best revenge!

you two seem to have a great relationship- age doesn't factor into it- don't let what other people say bother you. I am older than my husband- by 6 days! :) I also know another couple were she is older by 6 or 7 years- they are great together and you wouldnt' know about the age difference unless you asked. I think relationships depend more on how well you work together rather than how far apart in years you are. I think most people connect with others that are similar in age because they can identify with the same type of culture they grew up in, but it in no way prohibits a great relationship when the age difference is a little wider.
Enjoy each other! And don't let pettiness of others bother you!
~C.

My hubby and I are 10 years apart. Had we met when I was 10 and he was 20 yes that would have been just wrong but I was 20 and he was 30 and we just clicked. I don't think age makes the problems. Even people 2 days apart have problems. If you love the person, that's what counts. And that girl who made the comment was just ignorant and being really rude.

I was hoping you'd say your man was 12 1/2 yrs younger! Then I was going to salute you big time! I don't see an issue with your age difference. People are so silly, sometimes!

My husband is 9 1/2 years older than me and the only time we notice it is when a song that we like comes on and we reminice about where we were when that song was popular (ie. I was in middle school and he was in medical school!) LOL! He is the youngest of 5 and his oldest sister is married to someone 19 years her senior and it works for them. The funny thing is I have a brother-in-law who is older than my dad. It doesn't matter though. Love is love and love knows no age. Don't let the lady's comment get to you!

I've ALWAYS dated older men

My current boyfriend is 12 years older than me

I think it depends .. if 15 and dating someone 25.. then YES.... it's a problem... but once 20 and dating someone in their 30s.. then perhaps not...
I think it also depends on the individuals...

I know you have already gotten a lot of stories, but here's one more: my brother is 12 and 1/2 years younger than his wife and they've been happily married for longer than I can remember. As long as you are both adults and happy together it makes no difference. The woman who confronted you about it was way out of line and it is none of her business.

my boyfriend and i have 10 years between us. However, my best friend just married and there is 20 years between them. Don't worry what people think...its very common and people who are going to judge and give you a hard time obviously have issues with themselves, which is why they feel the need to put others down or express their negative opinions.

I bet or hope she feels really stupid for having spoken so rudely to you. Definitely an open mouth, insert foot sort of moment. It's probably not the first time she has offended others so quickly. My husband always calls these types of people 'disinhibited' and I walk away thinking they did way too many recreational drugs in highschool, thereby affecting their frontal lobe. It's not normal to blurt out derogatory comments like that.

So, my husband is 5 years older than me. Boyfriend before was 10 years older. The 10 yr. spread was when I was younger and I did not care for his settled down ways. I think a big age difference is a problem when people are young, still in their teens. Then I think they are looking for a parent replacement, no matter how 'old' their souls are. We have 2 couple friends with an 18+ year spread. But they do not have children. My aunt's hubby was about 20+years older and I know that he was not able to help with the physical care of their adopted boys. That was hard on her. And now she's a widow.

My husband, to whom I have been happily married for 18 years and with whom we have produced the most gorgeous children imaginable, is 16 years my senior! I was 27 and he was 43 looking not a day over 30, and our aging process has smoothly carried on in this manner over the years. I think if the age difference isn't visible the idiots out there remain calm. But luckily, in our case, no one who knows our age difference has ever batted and eyelash.
Anyway, you go girl and love your gorgeous man! Never, ever let anyone try to make you feel unsure about what you KNOW...that you have found your soul mate and you love each other. Love is so hard to find, so don't question it when it lands in your lap!

I think as long as the age doesn't bother you, then don't worry about it. I have one thing to think about- Do you want kids? Is he going to think he is to old to have kids? That's really it.... the family factor. People are having kids much older than they use to so as long as he doesn't care that he will be 60 when he has a highschooler, then age shouldn't be a problem. My husband is 8 years older than me and he has made comments about people thinking he is the kids grandfather.... silly of course.... but still something to think about.

I think as long as both people in the relationship are mature adults, that's all that matters. My parents have a 13 year age difference, and they have been married for over 30 years. It's not an issue if YOU don't make it an issue.