Without going into the whole story, I'd like your opinions: Is it normal that a person who is truly, clinically depressed will talk about how depressed she is, frequently, to whoever will listen?
I just realized I never closed this question out. Thank you, ladies, for your input. The person in question is somewhat of a drama queen and I suspected she might just be trying to get attention. However, she is normally a boisterous, talkative person so maybe it is normal for her to talk about her problems. You're right, I don't have a lot of experience with depression. I was depressed myself for a little while, and never talked about it to anyone. I have known only one or two other people who were obviously depressed (not just lonely), and they didn't talk about it either. So I was surprised by this person's attitude and willingness to talk about how depressed she is. Incidentally, she has started taking medication and things are looking up for her. I am encouraging her to start seeing a counselor, but part of her depression stems from a job where she frequently works 16-hour days, so finding time to see a counselor would be a real chore at the moment.
Yes. Very normal.
And you can't "talk happy" to a clinically depressed person in order to "help." How freaking ridiculous.
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"Flipping it to the happy" doesn't really work with depressed individuals. THAT's the point.
I think a depressed person might just talk about it a lot. It depends on the person. People deal with/cope with/react to things differently.
Sure, depending on her personality type and coping skills. Although the stereotype of depression is someone who suffers in silence, holed up in a dark room alone, cowering in shame and crippled by inertia, that's certainly not the case for everyone. People can be outgoing and extroverted and still have depression.
Yes - it is a cry for help. They may not know how to get help so they're reaching out.
Sometimes. People have different coping skills and everyone handles depression differently. "Clinical depression" is a diagnosis from a professional, but someone who hasn't had the diagnosis yet still could be clinically depressed. Some people with depression just retreat, others talk about it and seek out support or a place to vent, others sleep all day, others eat or have trouble being motivated. Someone who talks about it all the time could just be looking for attention, but could also be trying to seek support - on some level, if you're on the receiving end, it can be really annoying but the person could at least be trying. Could also be faking it by needing attention. I can't tell from your question exactly what's going on. I would recommend that the depressed person get a professional evaluation - the primary care physician or OB/GYN can recommend a therapist (social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist) who will accept that person's insurance. It is not possible for a friend or a lay person to "cure" or "treat" that person's depression by listening all the time. I would also recommend some regular exercise to get the natural endorphins going - but that can be difficult for someone who is dealing with depression. It's hard to get motivated and stick to something.
I don't know if there is a "normal." Some people are very private about their depression; others are comfortable discussing it openly. I also think that when a depressed person starts therapy, they are often encouraged to talk about it with others, to help demystify and destigmify (if that's even a word) the condition. Talking about depression could be a key contributor to getting better.
Yes - I think there are different types of people - some are talkers and some are not. The talkers who are also dealing with depression will want to share with people - some times with too manypeople. Something about sharing their pain makes it a lighter burden for themselves. And it seems when they begin to share with people and discover that it's something that many people deal with they feel more free to talk about it.
Trust me - it can be a dull thing to listen to as their friend or loved one and I've found it's best to find a topic to discuss that they like that you can divert their attention to. So, if they like baking you ask if they've ever seen the TV show CakeBoss, if they like painting you suggest you go to a local museum or go get some interesting books from the library about art, etc.
Dealing with a depressed teenage daughter i've found that having her do volunteer work and help others not only shows them that "it's not all about me" but they get an emotional boost from doing so.
Good luck!
She may be an attention seeker but she may also be asking for help without knowing how to actually ASK FOR HELP. Offer to find her some counseling.
Good luck!
Hi K.,
Dawn made a lot of assumptions. My guess is that this is a sensitive subject for her. I'm sorry Dawn.
Yes, in response to your question, would be my thought. This person could be depressed or have an anxiety disorder....... different depending on the word a doctor would put on it.
I think that people who are really depressed often times have a hard time admitting it. So, to claim depression is different. Maybe its an attention thing.
no, it's her crutch, her tool, her method of trying to grab the attention that she may need.
Be a drama queen & say, "I totally understand how this is important to you. BUT can we talk about happy?" & just keep flipping it to the "happy"!
Yes, she knows something is wrong and is in desperate need of help. When you're sick, don't you tend to tell someone? I do, it helps to know people are there for me when I'm sick, but if I don't tell them they might not know.
It depends on her personality, and if she is at the point of depression that she is reaching for supprot and help. Also it depends on what kind of depression.
I have struggled with depression, on and off, since high school. At first I had no clue what was going on besides feeling sad all the time... well after a year and a bad situation I got help, but I never really vocialized because I did not know what I was struggling with. In college when I became depressed again I knew what was happening after a 2-3 months, so I sought help. A few years ago I struggled with it again, this time I was married, have a daughter, and other family near. I talked with them a lot, I was trying to pull myself out of the depression with their help without meds... well in the end it did not work for me and had to get help after my husband said that he thought I needed more help then they could give.
Now the best thing you can do is man yourself with a local number and place she can call to arrange to get the help she needs. Tell her that you think this will help her, more then just talking with you. Now if she is a friend you do this with care and love, and let her know that you think this will help, and if she is a friend maybe even offer to go with her the first time (and say "I will go with you the first time") so she feels the support and may help her with the feeling of being lost and helpess. If she keeps going on, keeping offering the info... either she will go and get help OR if she really is not depressed she will stop seeking attention from you through that way.
I don't think so. Is she on meds?
