B.E.
You would need a specialist to give you a clinical diagnosis. But from a layperson point of view, it certainly sounds like depression. Have you experienced this feeling before? How long has this been going on? You definitely are seeking attention, both in regards to your posting the compassionate women of this group, and by seeking some extra help with the kids. Seeking help is a promising sign...sometimes people with severe depression don't feel worthy of help. You are worthy. But it is all up to you to receive the help. I have had my share of experiences with depression and I have committed to change my pattern of coping so that I can steer myself out of it when it happens to me. It was not easy to see the error of my ways. I would sometimes weep to others who would in return, give me much sought after solace and comforting words...until one day I met a healer who was truly compassionate and kicked my butt into a better stance. She was very tough and yet never left my side during those very lonely times. Now I have conditioned myself to really know that happiness is a choice. Peace and acceptance is a choice. You cannot control other people's energy, but you do not have to allow other people to affect yours either. In this same way, no one can Make you Happy. Or Unhappy. Unless you allow it.
Gosh, I sound so full of it...but, I do agree that you may need some serious help. Your kids depend on you to be a healthy mother. Get up. The world needs you to participate. Eat better, interact with people. Look them in the eyes. Go see a therapist. Get some exercise. Tackle one small area of the house. Don't forget to capitalize your I's. You are important. Commit to something better for yourself.
Good Luck,
Marianne