Your Phobia & Your Kids

I'm sorry, I got nothing to offer except that I agree, Clowns are creepy and scary. Who the hell really likes clowns anyways?

It's a common phobia, and phobias can sometimes be handled through counseling and various therapies, if you don't want to be saddled with it for life.

You also have a right to set reasonable boundaries and limits – just because a child wants to have (insert option here) doesn't mean that she must have it. There could be any number of reasons not to hire a clown, from expense to the possibility that other party guests might be afraid, too.

Birds is my phobia (yuck) dont like them they are messy and loud. However I tried not to let that get in the way of my kids enjoying them. I actually went on a field trip with them where you could feed birds from your hand and both of mine wanted to so I did first to show them nothing to be afraid of.

Freaked me out but made it without any major after effects LOL :O)

I think the mom with the cleaning deal said it best. You deal with things in the moment because your kids are the most important thing. I have a hard time with people saying 'get over it' or deal with it before it affects your kids. Who actually wants to be scared of something??? it's not a lot of fun.

I'm probably totally alone on this one but my phobia is food related. Mainly fruit in general because it rots so easily, but specifically banana's To me they are like excrement, i could never imagine actually putting that in my mouth. For the most part i could avoid it. but I had a job once in food service where i had to touch them,i was able to go from asking someone else ot do it. to being about to open them if i used a paper towel, now i can serve them to my one child bare handed, But eat them NOT a chance. I try very very hard not to show my kids how grossed out i am. I think the parent with out the phobia needs to step up and be the one to show the kids there is nothing to be afraid of. so anyhow, thanks for letting me share, i think i just had a mini little break through, Admitting things is half the battle right.
Just to toss out there, I've actually thought about being hypnotized to see if that helps, if your child decided to join the circus some day that might be an option for you.

If either of my kids ever brings home a ventriloquist dummy? I will die. Or scream. Or die screaming. And then undie and have nightmares for the rest of my life, which would only be about ten minutes long because I'd dream about the dummy and redie.
My current problem is oppositely that one of my children is phobic of something I like, and it's something entirely common, something he can't get away from: tattoos. He covers his eyes and panics whenever he sees one (or more), and now his phobia has begun to extend into simple hand stamps and childrens' face painting. I should post about this separately and see what kind of suggestions I'd get for helping him get past this. I'm sure his Aspergers syndrome contributes to this in some way.

I don't think you'll have to worry too much about it. Either your kids will be scared too or they will want to protect you. Children don't like to see their moms upset.

I have an irrational fear of cockroaches. I know most people don't like them, but the panic and anxiety I feel is consuming. I have tried so hard not to let the kids see it, but I now have 2 little ones that cry everytime they see a roach. (my kids are tough ones too and don't cry unless they are hurt) My husband is sooo irritated!!!

So, I hope for you that your kids don't develop your fear, but will respect you and not want to bring the clowns around.

I suggest that you want to find a way to manage that phobia. I say this because my daughter has a phobia of spiders. Her two kids, now 7 and 10, have phobias for several insects. They scream and scream, upsetting everyone around them. If they see them ahead of time they want to cross the street or leave the store or the house. It's really a great inconvenience to have phobias. And it is possible to manage them; even get rid of them entirely.

Clowns are an important part of childhood. Does this mean you'd never take her to the circus or watch any of the children's TV programs that have clowns. Not be able to take her to another child's clown birthday party? When you see someone dressed as a clown doing advertising in the store do you leave the store?

I sympathize with you but I'd sure deal with a phobia before it negatively affects my kids.

Parents with phobias are statistically MUCH more likely to raise children with phobias. I learned this when confronting my own phobia several years ago. One of the first questions my wonderful therapist asked me was whether either of my parents had a phobia - and yes, my father did. His phobia and mine are completely unrelated in subject, but what was key was the anxiety disorder, and the fact that I had learned fear. So you need to deal with this, unless you want to pass fear on to your children.

I recommend therapy because that is what worked for me. My father recommended it, as he had treated his own phobia successfully with therapy when I was a teenager. My phobia was severe - I could not talk about the subject or picture it in my mind without having an anxiety attack, and would have nightmares about it. If you are not as severe as I am, you might consider hitting the library and doing some research about treating phobias and seeing if you could tackle it yourself. My therapist, who is specifically trained in anxiety disorders, taught me self-hypnosis and calming techniques, and then ran me through a series of levels of exposure, until (at my own pace and comfort level) I felt I would be able to confront my phobia head on. Then she went with me and together we did it. Since then, I have confronted my phobia without her many times. Am I cured? No, I still have mild anxiety every time I have to deal with it, but it is getting better and now I am confident that I can handle it. And I am happy that I won't pass on my irrational fears to my children.

I personally don't have any phobias..

But it's pretty funny..My hubby is SCARED of spiders. I personally LOVE them. I think they are such cool creatures.

So its amusing that hubby is scared and I have to be the one to pick up the spider and "get it away"

You know what, it would be like you were thrown in front of a bus, and you just choose to live or die. Our kids have a way of helping us overcome some of our fears just by their innocent doings. I hate germs and cleaning bathrooms and my son takes pleasure in putting his hands all over the seat when he uses it then touching his body- ugh!! -can you imagine my phobia in public bathrooms, but then over time him doing it so much and the adrenalin rush in me to to wash him off, I have now become immune to it that now I am even using paper towel to clean public seats before he uses it...still creeps me out but I learn to deal with it in the moment. You can too.

I do not like the nutcracker soldier men that come around Christmas time. My advice-don't let them know its your fear or when they get older they will torment you with it! Hahaha. My sister loves to buddy up with my daughter (11yr) and tease me. It gets old after awhile!!!

LOL, Clowns are my phobia too! They freak me out. My 12 year old wants to have a carnival themed party next year and wants a clown. How I'm dreading that! I just had to let you know your not alone! They are freaking scary looking! Good luck! :)

My kids know I fear clowns (Pennywise, anyone?) and that I would never have one at a birthday party. They actually think they're protecting me by pointing out clowns. "Hey mom, watch out! A clown is coming." They'll stand in front of me or back me up. It's cute.

I wouldn't have a problem with one of my kids wanting to be a clown for Halloween, although they've never asked.

CLOWNS ARE SUPER FREAKY!!! Luckily my kids don't seem to like them either, they must sense my uneasiness

dont fear what hasnt happened yet. if there are no clowns or mentions of clowns in the home mostly likely ur child will not either. of course ur child will see clowns in tv, movies, school what ever. just simply state u dont like clowns they scare me. she understands scare.

i have 3 daughters and when one becomes involved in a fear of mine or phobia, i tell tell them i dont like that or this and with a serious explaination why and dont bring it to the house or near me and they understand and i have had no problems now that they are adults.

my kids or i have never been or seen a clown party. i think its over rated, lol.

A lot of people fear clowns, from what I have heard, is it seems to be a "popular" fear that is played up a little more than what it really is. There are some creepy ones, and in the media they are often used in scary images, especially the antique clown dolls and such, but there are some really adorable and cute clown entertainers out there... my sister being one of them!!

What you do, is if your daughter wants a clown for a party, is ask for the "happy person" make-up. Many children entertainer clowns can do this, where they dress up just a tiny bit and with a small hint of make-up... you can see my sister's "happy human" face.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_-yWNMWcLo-Q/TGMWAi5hfYI/AAAAAAA...

If she wants to be a clown, do something cute and sweet, low on the make-up. Perhaps doing a therapy session if it is a serious phobia could help, as you wouldn't want to perpetuate your harmless fears onto your children.

My response isn't as fun as most will be.

Since I was diagnosed with cancer right after my daughter's birth (1 day before my son's second birthday), my fear is of it returning or affecting one of my children. Mine was lymphoma (cancer of the lymph nodes), so I panic anytime my kids lymph nodes are swollen. That's the only way I knew something was wrong and 8/10 doctors I talked to (I was in pharmaceutical sales at the time) discounted it as postpartum hormones. I always worry something I expose them to will result in them having to endure the same experiences as me.

It keeps me awake at night - and, unless you've walked in my shoes (which a few of the Moms out here on Mamapedia have) you can't tell me to not worry about it.

On a lighter note, my husband hates snakes. HATES them. He has a hard time going into the snake house at the zoo despite them being in plexiglass containers. God forbid the day one of our kids wants a pet snake. I will never happen, but creepy none-the-less.

I hate clowns. They're creepy to me but not a phobia. My thing is vomit. Typing the word makes my hair stand up..really! I don't remember a time when I wasn't so preoccupied with this fear that it effected my every day life. As a young person it determined my eating habits. If I felt hungry then I had an empty stomach and therefore couldn't throw up. If someone was sick at work I couldn't stay because there were too many germs and I might get sick. I went thru a phase where i didn't eat meat after having gotten food poisioning at a sandwich shop. That phase lasted over a year. I waited until I was 28 years old to have a baby not because I had a career and a lot of things I wanted to do before getting tied down. I didn't want to get pregnant because I knew I'd throw up. I can't fly with my son because he might get motion sickness and barf. I actually pay other people to watch him while I sit on another row. Not random people but people who are flying with me like my step-kids or my mother. I don't have to bribe my mom but the kids are a different story. If I go in a public restroom and I see someone's feet facing the toilet I will go out and come back later because that person might be facing the toilet to vomit. I can smell it a mile away. If someone in the bathroom before me ralphed I can tell even if it was hours ago. I almost never drink and have never been drunk because of my fear. Never getting drunk is one of the few good side effects i guess. Having a child when you are totally flipped out by something that they all do is really tough. I don't want my son to know about it because I don't want him to get hung up on it too. I deal with extreme anxiety on a daliy basis. I take medication for OCD and depression which helps. I've tried all kinds of other therapy like hypnosis, exposure therapy, and talk therapy. These things weren't unhelpful but I have never found any one solution. One thing I'll say is that when I have faced situations where my son did vomit I COULD handle it. My mommy brain took over. After the situation is over I look back and think my ability was superhuman. I couldn't do that with a kid that wasn't mine. If your daughter wants to dress as a clown you'll figure it out. You will find a way to deal with it. It sounds crazy but it's true. If I start thinking about my son throwing up I'll go into a panic attack before you can blink but if he actually gets sick it gets creepy calm and I can do it. You can too.