I am looking for any good advice on how to handle the following situation that my husband and I had happen to us yesterday after our sons birthday party.You see, when we were going through the birthday gifts my son had recieved from everyone to put them away after the party was over and everyone left we noticed that there was some of the money missing out of the cards that had been given to him as a gift. At first, we re-checked everything to make sure maybe it didnt get dropped, then we checked w/ our son to make sure he didnt take it and stick it in his piggy bank, and so on! Eventually we came to the conclusion that someone at the party must of taken the money. As you could imagine I was upset to say the least and at the thought that someone whom I trusted enough would do such a thing as to steal money from my son on his birthday!! After, re-thinking everything as to who had the opportunity,ect. my husband and I have drawn a few conclusions as to who it could possibly be, but dont want to accuse anyone wrongly. My question is how should I go about handling this situation without hurting anyone or falsly placing blame?? We have re-placed the money for my son w/ some of our own so that he can enjoy it like he was suppose to. I am just so upset and let down that out of all the people I thought I could trust, there is one I can't and dont really even know who it is!! I am also hurt that anyone would even think of stealing a childs birthday money!!! Any suggestions or ideas on how to handle this situation would be appreciated, as Im just not sure what approach I should take and Im hoping that maybe someone else has had the same thing happen or can give me some good in sight/advice on how to deal w/ it!! Thanks!!
After much thought on my own and after reading what everyone had to say I have decided that it was a lesson well learned and next year will be different!! Thanks everyone for your advice and helping me to realize my first intial thought on what to do was the right one!!
I'm with the ladies who say "do nothing." Compare the two outcomes:
1. correctly accuse someone
2. incorrectly accuse someone
Is the possibility of achieving the first worth risking the latter?
I agree that you should just try to let it go.You might get the word out that there is missing money, and ask if anyone maybe saw it get dropped? I'm guessing it wasn't a large amount of money. If no real financial harm was done, then don't risk hurting anyone's feelings.
I don't blame you for being mad, but what would the payoff be if you found out who took it?
I do not think you should do a thing, I think you just need to be more careful next time. First of all, you do not know who, if anyone, took the money. You can't go waving a finger blindly. Secondly, how do you know someone stole it? It could have fell out somewhere in your house, backyard, etc., and you just haven't found it. If you want to keep the peace with those at the party (some of which I'm guessing are family whom you'll see often), I would just keep this to yourself. You and your husband need to be more careful next year when you kid gets money. Make sure it immediately goes into a safe place. Just consider this incident a lesson that birthday money immediately goes in Mommy's or Daddy's pocket.
You can't do anything unless you saw it happen. Just like retail security they can't intercept a shop lifter unless they saw every step of the theft (walk in without, pick it up, never put it down, walk out without paying). Accusing family/friends of something you're not sure happened will not help the situation and will cause tensions in the future.
There have been several times in my family where cousins or someone was accused of stealing money or losing something important (airline tickets). Each of those times the money/ticket turned up much later in the owner's possession.
Once I hosted xmas eve with 17 people opening presents in 1 small room, and a nephew got some gift cards. He didn't make it home with all of them. So it was in my sister's right to call and say 'he lost one, can you please check your trash before you set it out or can we come over to check?' to make sure it didn't get put back in the envelope and tossed or mixed up with the wrapping paper. (One was eventually found, but not the other). You know what happened next year? He got gift cards and he immediately put them in his wallet, then put the wallet back in his pocket.
It is certainly acceptable at a party when gift cards, checks, or cash is given to a child to ask them to give it to you immediately so it doesn't get lost.
Consider this a lesson learned, and just be more careful next time.
J. in Olathe.
Consider it a lesson learned in how to take care of money, another lesson to learn about forgiveness, and move on.
After 23 years of raising children, my only word of advice is let it go. Be more cautious next time, be wary but not judgemental about those around you sure, but since you cannot prove anything for certain, the only choice you are left with is to chalk it up to life experience and not dwell on it. Worry my dear about the things you can change, not those you cannot. Good luck!
I think the best thing to do is to let it go and don't do anything. It sucks and you probably want to know who not to trust, but if you falsely accused the wrong person you could cause serious problems worse than your son's bday money being stolen. If you really feel certain you know who it might be then consider not extending an invitation for future parties, but even on that note if by small chance you are wrong you could hurt someone badly by excluding them. I think the best thing is to forget it and move on, just use it as a chance to teach your son a valuable lesson about respecting others.
You say that you have an idea of who it could be, or have narrowed it down a little. If you talk to them sometime soon maybe you could thank them for coming, tell them it was great having them come, thanks for the present, had such a great time, yadda yadda. Then bring up that your son had such a good time but was very upset because his money was missing. Just bring it up conversationally, not accusing, very casual. Gage their reaction and then go from there. Ask those you trust and see if they saw anything unusual or suspect behavior.
That really stinks! I hope you find the culprit.
Maybe just ask a the people that were helping with the gifts if they stuck it somewhere. Maybe they just stuck it someplace for safe keeping then forgot to mention it to you guys. I don't think someone would take money from a kid either, but you never know.
As hard as it may be, I'd do just as some others have said and "just let it go". With not knowing exactly which person it was, you'd hate to place blame on that person who you think it may be. At that whats to say the person will own up to taking it. They may say "it wasn't me, what about *fill in the blank*. Chalk it up to a lesson well learned. Maybe next time the party rolls around take the money out of those cards and keep it in your pocket so that no one else has access to it.
I'm sorry that you had to experience that, its horrible that people have to take from a small child to fulfill their needs.
