Lord, the Messes I Find Myself In:(

There's no excuse for putting a wallet full of money in someone elses care, under their van seats etc. It's not just not needed. She should have safeguarded her money. I know you feel bad. But this is a lesson learned and it's her lesson.

I also would not assume that the other boy is the ONLY child that could have taken it. Also, who's to say that someone didn't know how to break into the van without leaving evidence of it? I know that's the least doubtful scenario.

I learned in real life before being in school to always give a patient an "out". Meaning, if you think they're faking... give them a placebo to let them keep their dignity / not cling to a lie. It also helps with the diagnostic process.

"When you guys were gathering up your stuff... did you happen to grab a purse in by accident? Whoever finds that will be my HERO. It had my sitter's money in it, and that's her kid's xmas presents. Would you check? It would be sooooo awesome if you guys grabbed it because I know with you the money will be safe!!!"

Yeah.

Libby, your sitter can choose to stop sitting for you, but she doesn't have a right to make you recoup her losses. She chose not to carry her purse.

I agree with what Riley says. I also think you should quietly go to his mom and talk to her about it. I don't know how you do that, and I don't envy you doing it, but I think it's best.

She should go hunt around in his room and see if she can find it.

This is awful - as if you didn't have enough on your plate!

Dawn

I don't think you are responsible because you didn't tell her to put the wallet there. She was aware that there were kids other than your own in the van.

It would be different if she handed you the wallet and said keep this safe for me I don't want to take it with me. Then it would be your choices that led up to the loss.

It is like me saying I am going to leave my purse in the car. That doesn't make the owner responsible if the car is broken into it is the thief that is responsible.

Oh and Riley is dead on with a way to maybe get it back.

Just a thought...if the kid has time to conceal it, there was also time for it to be accidentally knocked out of the van. Someone else could have found it. It's an unfortunate situation. Your sitter stuck her wallet in the back of a van full of kids. It's her responsibility to keep up with her money. You cannot be held accountable for someone else's actions, the sitter's or the kids. And it's possible someone took it. I would email, call or text the whole group and ask if anyone has seen it or possibly picked it up by accident. Explain how important this is to you and the sitter. This way you are asking without accusing anyone.

Riley, will you be my attorney next time I get divorced?

;)

Good advice so far. Consensus seems to agree with a method like Riley suggested. We had a party one night and everyone in the house was our friend or relative. There wasn't anyone that we didn't know. Low and behold our CC was stolen right out from under our nose and used in a mall not too far away. The moral of this story is that even those we consider friends or think we know may not be quite as they seem. It could very well have been this step son...or not. I also agree that the sitter, although terrible, is really responsible for keeping her money with her or not and since she chose the latter, it's kind of on her. Sucky, but reality.

Well, you cannot accuse someone without knowing really that they took it. You suspect him but you could be totally wrong. She was crazy to leave her wallet with all her money in the back of a van. What an irresponsible thing to do. You still gotta feel bad for her, poor thing. I am not sure what you should do. I'd have a talk to all the kids - not blaming them at all but just saying how awful that her wallet with all her money that she worked so hard to earn is gone. Go on and on about how sad this is and what a good person she is and how hard this is going to make her life. Give examples. Then perhaps if a kid did take it they will give it back. You never know.

I would certainly not confront just the neighbor's stepson or his mother without more than "he had time to conceal it." With everyone making things in the back of the van, everyone else had as much time as he did to conceal it. Like Tori said, you don't really know who took it, you're just assuming (and hoping) that it wasn't one of the kids that you're more familiar with. I say it's her problem - let her handle it and you stay out of it. It's not your job to find her money; she left it there. She is responsible for it.

woah woah woah how do you know that this boy is the one who took it?? you can't just go around making accusations to him or his mom until you have some evidence that he's the thief. that's a pretty serious crime you're saying this boy committed and if all the evidence you have is that "he had time to conceal it", that's not gonna hold up. first, check the van thoroughly so you don't look like an idiot if it's just hanging out under the floormat or something. then, if it's still missing, i think you should tell ALL the kids who were in the van what happened, explain that the sitter worked hard for that money and needs the money and ask whoever took it to please drop it off anonymously at so and so spot. without any proof of who did it, taht's really about all that you can do. good luck,

UPDATE: I like Riley's method a lot too

Email or send a note to ALL of the parents. I understand that you feel that one child is responsible (gut feelings say a lot!) but if you let all parents know, no one feels singled out and it can be a good learning experience for all.

I would not accuse anyone unless you have proof. I would talk to each person and say that the wallet is missing and if anyone knows what happened to speak up. I would also say they just want it back and if it is returned anonymously that is OK too.
I don't think your sitter is at fault for leaving it there, I often leave my purse in the lacked car (even if it is someone elses car that I know).

You don't say how old he is. I personally would ask him, not in a mean way, but pretty directly, with a knowing stare right in his face. See what that produces.

I change my answer after reading Riley's. Good one.

But in any case, I think you probably shouldn't go to his mom. Most mothers are pretty defensive when you accuse their kids of stealing, especially the type of mothers who tend to produce kids who steal.

You really think your babysitter's mother would go after you? This seems to me to be a lesson to the babysitter about where she leaves her wallet. Me, I would let it be a lesson to my child about guarding their wallet.