Younger Sister with Attitude Problem :)

Updated on December 12, 2008
B.P. asks from Broomfield, CO
6 answers

Hello ladies, my younger sister (26) is pregnant and at first was having a hard time excepting it. She is in a committed relationship and is engaged to be married in the summer of 09 but oops, baby came first. My problem is this, we just had a huge family X-Mas party last weekend around 60 people. At the end of the party she was very vocal on how aggravated she was with all the kids. There are at least 15 little ones running around, Santa showed up and was huge fun. She was saying how she wanted to scold all us moms on how unruly the kids were. To be perfectly honest, they were no different than any other year we had this party. We were in a restaurant and has a banquet room to ourselves. There was no crying, fighting, bullying, bad mouthing, nothing. She was mostly aggravated because my son (10) kissed her a couple times, and my nephew kicked her chair. A worker there brought the kids balloons, not the best idea but too late. At first I was just laughing because I figured, new mom hormones are kicked into high gear here. Well, we have another huge family party, even more people and more kids next weekend. How can I jokingly tell her to lighten up, she kept saying on how when her baby is born it will NEVER act like that (didn't we all?) The family memebers that were left were shocked because she is usually very mild. Also, should I tell my kids to steer clear?? I really want to keep this light hearted, I am a very jokey person and dont want to hurt her feelings but I want to have a couple come backs in my pocket !!! :-)

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

She has raging hormones, moms already that have kids should totally understand that. I can say that when you have kids, you get it, until you do, you don't get how excited kids can be.
She has the stress of being pregnant right now, with her first, then to be engaged too. That is a lot at this time of year. I am sure when I was pregnant a room full of crazy kids would have driven me up a wall too. I would explain to family members is it hormonal more then anything, I would NOT tell her to lighten up as I am sure that is the last thing she needs to hear. She will understand as her child next year will be a crazy one in the mix and she will then understand.

Don't worry about come backs, what she needs is support and reassurance. Being a first time mom is very scary for anyone and if you just keep telling her she will be a great mom and how fun it will be her child will be in all the chaos next year she will maybe feel more at ease.
Just be patient with her. Seriously did you want your hubby to tell you to lighten up with your first time mommy jitters?
She just needs her family to be understanding right now.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

hi, B.,

yes, it's probably hormones, yes, you should probably tell your kids to back off, and yes, your sister will still probably be a pain at the party. Isn't pregnancy fun? also, she may be having mixed feelings about the pregnancy itself, despite her long-term plans, and it is being expressed in this indirect way. Try to stay supportive and not take it too seriously. She may really need you.

take care, S.

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A.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi B.,
I am the oldest of three, and the first to produce a grandchild. I had a whopper of a time wrapping my head around the baby-idea, realities of pregnancy & parenting, let alone the reality that babies turn into CHILDREN!

SO, I imagine it must be really overwhelming to have (maybe) just gotten used to the idea of being preggers, having a baby and then observe at a party just how boisterous kids can be---especially en masse. I know that when I'm scared I react one of two ways, with humor or with anger. Until I get to talk that fear out with someone I trust, I'll never get around it.

While I don't have any 'comebacks' for you, I hope that one of you, as sisters, might get to talkin' with her in depth about the WHOLE experience.

Keep up the great work sisterin' AND mommin'!
A.

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M.P.

answers from Denver on

I too have a younger, and very opinionated sister. She made it clear how I was misparenting, etc. Well, now she has a one year old and is much less opinionated. For some people it just takes having their own experience to get it. I have a hard time saying, "I told you so" or reminding her how opinionated she was at times. I don't know about your sis but my sister won't even admit that she said those things. They learn through having their own...enjoy it.

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

I was very sensitive to other peoples's kids, the kids on airplanes, the kids in resturants and even my neices and nephews before I had my own. Don't worry about comebacks soon she will be in the know about how truly hard it is to contain Christmas excitement in children!

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

Maybe just a little immaturity here. Wait until the baby comes and she will see thing's from a different perspective. Family, gotta love em! Hang in there sis and so don't take this personally!

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