Wrong or Not?

Really?? Have we gone there?? Let daddy take a bath with him ... it is probably a REALLY good bonding thing too!

Whoever thinks it is disgusting.. must have a disgusting mind. I think it is sweet..

This behavior is not unusual.. sometimes that become afraid of the water splashing, sometimes, they are worried about the drain..

I know some moms pace a wash cloth over the drain so their child will think they are safe from being sucked down the the drain.. Other times, people will fill the tube without the child in the tub so they will not be splashed.. It is all a phase..

Do not worry about nay sayers..

Nothing wrong with that at all. He is 2 for heavens sake. I have girls a 4 year old and a 2 year old and they don't care to shower with me but they see me get dressed like every day or see me get in and out of the shower all the time. No big deal. They are just used to it and I know they don't think anything of it. If having his daddy helps him feel safe in the tub then good. have him bathe with him every night and don't feel bad or weird about it.

TOTALLY fine. Nudity does NOT equal sex. If you were having sex with your toddler in the bath *that* would be disgusting and wrong.

In this country there seems to be a belief that there is a magic age whereupon it becomes wrong. I also have to disagree. I grew up in Japan where public baths are more common than swimming pools. And are typically as large or larger. It's a country with a LOT of hot springs/ natural thermal activity. Many are split genders many are both genders. The sheer reverence that was shown old men and women in these baths has permenantly shaped my life. Skin is just skin, it's the person inside that matters. And age is beautiful in and of itself.

Equating nudity with sex (and that in order to be considered beautiful or deserving of respect one has to be sexy) is a crime that leads to situations like yours... where a kind, loving, and practical thing has someone thinking all kinds of vile things. That has NOTHING to do with you or your actions.

Oh good grief. He's 2. Tell your family member to take keep their narrow minded and perverted opinions to themselves.

And PS. what a great Dad!

Unless you accidentally meant to type that your son is 12, there is no problem. Don't even give it another thought.

Your family member is the one who is WEIRD! It's his father, for God's sake -not some family friend who enjoys bathing with 2 year olds! Both of my boys frequently get in the shower with me for time purposes and they're 2 and 4. Nudity is sexual and weird only if we make it so as adults. I'm SO sick of everyone pulling out the paranoid "everybody's a pedophile" card. Thankfully, very few people are actually pedophiles! While it's good to be careful and mindful -this is nothing.

Good heavens no there is nothing wrong with it!! It sounds to me like you have some very uptight relatives...ignore them!!!
It could have been something as simple as your son getting some shampoo or soap in his eye...or swallowing some water that made him dislke the bath...he has to learn that it is alright to be in the tub. You tell your husband to climb right on in and make bathtime fun for your son!!

Oh dear Lord in heaven...some people are too over sensitive about the most innocent of things...you know I was born in the early 70's to parents who had grown up in the 60s and there was no shame in nudity. I was never molested or had ANYTHING inappropriate happen to me when I was young and had baths with both my mom and dad when I was a baby up to age 2 ish. Please don't even worry...you will have a child who will grow up secure and knowing his parents love him. I think it is terrible how some parents teach there kids at such a young age that their bodies are something to be ashamed of.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this at all. Our 5 yo will sometimes take a shower with his dad - mainly just to save time. Sometimes we worry to much about what other people think and end up short changing our kids by not doing what they need. Right now your son, for some reason, is soothed by having his daddy in the tub with him. Roll with it and before you know it he'll be out of this phase.

There's nothing wrong with it. I bathed with my son a few times. There was no fussing and we all got clean. Sometimes it's the person who thinks it's wrong that has the problem.

Nothing is wrong with this. It is teaching him that bathing is fun and family time. It is also teaching him that nothing is wrong with our bodies.

The person who told you it was wrong has some pretty strong hang ups and should probably see a therapist for not feeling comfortable with not only themselves but a normal parent/child relationship.

Good luck!

Absolutely noting wrong with it!!!! Ignore the stupid people around you. My husband still bathes with our 2 year old every night and they both LOVE it!!

My kids are both girls, but I am 8 3/4 month pregnant with number three. My youngest is currently three. She comes in the bathroom while I bathe on the weekends (I bathe early during the week), and will usually wind up getting in with me. Quite frankly, being this pregnant, it is much easier to wash her hair in the bathtub than hanging over the side. My other daughter is seven. She is very conscious of nudity now and won't come around if we are in the bathroom or bathing. That is fine, too, but the three year old is still too young to know any different. Two is definitely fine. Just don't discuss it with your family any more. We also have co-slept with our kids, and certain people and family members don't agree with it. We don't bring it up around them. Problem solved.

He's 2!!!!!!!! It is perfectly fine your family member needs to get over it. My youngest is 3 1/2 and will still get in the shower with me on occasion.

I take showers with my 3 year old sometimes, and I can remember my dad putting me and my brother in the shower with him when it was his turn for bath night. It was just easier for him and nothing gross happened. Your family member is overreacting.

Absolutely not wrong. There's nothing damaging in any way. As a matter of fact, other cultures, like Japan, have family bathing as part of their lifestyle and think nothing about it.

Helping your son get over his phobia about the bath is more important than your extended family's opinion about bathing habits. When that family member asks again, I would just drop the subject with her/him by saying that things are going great. Thanks! How 'bout those Steelers?

Perfectly fine. Wouldn't worry at all.

i remember my mom letting both me and my brother shower with her intill we were 5 and 6 and we thought nothing of it. it was just easier, and if i want to shower when my hubby isnt home i have to let my 16 mnth in with me or he tries to climb in fully dressed.

It's adorable. Enjoy this while he is young before he thinks it's disgusting.

He's 2. It's fine.

Personally, I'd wonder about the family member who thought there was something "sick" about this scenario...because she is reading it as sexual, which says something about her, not you.

Nothing wrong at all. It's a father and his 2 (not 12) year old son. Totally fine. They could try the shower too....my girls think it's the neatest thing!

And I totally agree with the poster that said it's more important to get your son over his fear and to ignore the 'certain family member'.

My sons took a bath with their dad probably till they were about 3. I've got really cute pictures even. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with it, they will both grow out of it pretty soon anyway.... the tub gets too small :)

I think its just fine! They both are probably having a fun time!

My oldest daughter is almost 4 and she still takes baths with me occasionally. When she was little we almost always took baths together, it's just stopped happening on a regular basis recently. I don't see anything wrong with it.
Like a PP said, the people that are saying it's disgusting must have disgusting minds. Don't worry about what they say. Just don't bring it up again.

totally nothing wrong with it. I take showers with my kids who are 3 and 5. For us, it just saves time. They don't even notice that it's weird to be naked. They are too busy playing with the toys in the shower. I think I remember taking a shower with my mom until I was around 7.

OH MY GOSH! There is NOTHING wrong with it!! When he gets older then yes...but now, NOTHING. Seriously? What is wrong with the people who says it's wrong? They must have had some bad things happen in their lives. Ugh.

Well, that certain member of the family needs to but out. There is nothing wrong with a father caring for his son in such a way that alleviates his fear of bathing! That is keeping your son safe because he could hurt himself if he is thrashing about in a bathtub! The only thing even remotely 'disgusting' about it is if your son has an accident in the tub! :) Just make sure he goes potty (and has a bm) before bathing and all is well!!

It's his father, no big deal. My triplet boys are age 6 and they take a shower with Dad sometimes. He's teaching them to bathe themselves in the shower vs the bath to save on water down the road. My husband has never felt comfortable naked in front of his daughter, even as a baby. There's going to come a day when your son will be showering and changing his clothes in front of other boys. As long as your son is explained what's appropriate and what's not, it's fine. Maybe it's different with our family cuz the guys are athletes and has always showered and changed clothes in a group since a young age, lol.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
events and chat within 2 hour radius

I see nothing wrong with it :)

Nothing weird or wrong. It might start to feel weird to the parent or if an opposite-gender parent does this, but it is very individual. My sisters and I were bathing together sometimes until elementary school I think (most likely to save on water and time, but who knows--we thought it was time to swim without bathing suits). My husband sometimes still takes our oldest into the shower with him (he just turned 4--he hasn't done this for a few months). I don't like to myself anymore, but definitely did when they were babies/young toddlers. If he is an only child, he probably likes having a "playmate" with him. My boys mostly like bathing together still (2 and 4) and it is a playtime for them.

We co-bathe-- NOTHING WRONG with it. Do it till your kids or you become uncomfortable. It will really benefit your child in the long run. The family member who told you this was very wrong for saying this and completely clueless!

Molly

I don't think there's anything wrong with what your SO is doing. Just ignore your family member. Who knows what's going on with her and her hangups, but I think that it is perfectly okay for a dad to get in the bath with his 2-year old son especially when the son is fearful of taking a bath alone.

You've clearly received enough unanimous votes in favor of bathing together. Add one more here.

I just wanted to add a funny story of where this can lead to.... My youngest daughter started PreK very early, at 2 yrs. 8 months b/c she was very verbal, potty trained and ready to start and the class needed an english speaking student to help teach a new immigrant child. So they bent the rules and let her start.

A few weeks in I noticed my daughter kept drawing the same mommy/daughter family stick figures with lots of scribbles for the main body???? I asked her in front of the teacher and other mom's who and what she was drawing. " You Mommy, and that's your puby hair." They all laughed and the teachers had known and but were embarrassed to tell me it was a nude. It all made sense, as pubic hair would be at her eye level in the shower.

I grew up in a totally prude household where we were NEVER allowed to discuss our bodies and parts and changes, etc. So I totally get where this accusation is coming from. It's an ignorant mindset. Just ignore it.

I don't think it's wrong.
I grew up in a house where it wasn't uncommon to see a child running through the house naked, mom would walk around in a towel, and we bathed with parents.
Keep doing what your doing. It's making your son comfortable and gives him a feeling of being safe. Plus, it's a good bonding experience.

I'm more disturbed about your family member. It's pretty sick to see something wrong with a normal, loving father taking care of his toddler. Yes, we have to be careful to protect our children from predators, but we can take it too far by sexualizing behavior that is not sexual. In Japan, where I lived for years, public bathing (segregated by the sexes) is common throughout life, and family bathing is also very normal, pre-adolescence. My husband and I both occasionally bathe with our son and daughter (both are still very young) and I see nothing wrong with it. It's wonderful family time.

I see no problem with it, it is his son too would the other member think it was gross if you were in there?Most men dont want to help get in a tub and bathe their own child they should be glad that you have a husband that helps.also they have the same parts i think it would help with confusion as to why he dosent look like mommy.

I think it is totally fine, they are both men and I don't think that children seeing their parents naked is an issue at all. I have boys, as they get older I am sure they will only see their father, but as small children, I don't think it is a big deal at all. My son thinks it's neat that he and his father have the same stuff! I say go with it :)

I wouldn't go so far as to say it's wrong and certainly not disgusting. BUT, I do believe when we get it started, it's hard to know when to stop it. I can't imagine a time in my life that I would have been comfortable with taking a bath with any adult.

I think it is completely fine. I took baths with my mom when I was young. She actually had my sister and I shower with her when we were a bit older than you son so that she could make sure we properly washed out hair and learn how to clean ourselves properly. If you're son is happy then there shouldn't be a problem. It's not like he'll still be needed daddy to bath with him when he's past the toddler stage.

I see no problem at all with it.

You never know how long until he "outgrows" throwing himself and screaming. That's just a tantrum. He can be taught not to do it with firm discipline. If you'r consistent at other times during the day as well, it wont' seem like a "bath" trauma. That way, he's not succeeding in manipulating his had into the bath-not the best pattern to allow-because of the manipulation, not the bath.
As for bathing with him, I see no problem with that- but not as a reward for a tantrum.
1st step: Stop the tantrum.
2nd step: Once he's behaving: Have a fun bath!

Kidsmommy, I see nothing wrong with it at all. It is a way of bonding for a son and his father. If both you and your husband are comfortable with it then do what ever it takes to make your son happy. If it becomes uncomfortable for either of you then at that time you should stop. I think a certain family member has an issue and needs to work it out. Good luck

My husband showers with our 2-1/2 son occasionally. I would too if I wasn't so terrified of dropping him :) I did want to say that our son started doing the same thing around 2yo, refusing to get in the tub, screaming that it was hot (when it wasn't), doing whatever he could to get out. It lasted about 3-4mos and now he's back to loving bath time again, even trying to get in during random times (like after waking up, before lunch, etc). According to several other moms I talk with, their toddlers did the same. I chalked it up to one of the many toddler phases. Good luck!