Would You Skip a Family Get-together If...

I'll use any excuse I can to skip a family get together, a sick kid is the perfect one. ;)
Yes, I would skip it with a sick child.

P.:

If my child was sick - fever, vomiting, etc. - I would bow out gracefully and stay home with my child. I would NOT expect my husband and other son to sit at home with us.

If my child has a fever - sorry - he's not going anywhere. He's fighting off something. I was the same way with my daughter when she was younger as well.

Even if it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah...etc. it's not right to bring a known sickness to an event.

May I ask why you are asking? Did someone jilt you at a party using their kid as an excuse? Or do you have a sick kid and something big coming up?

Good luck!

Vomiting or fever? Skip it
Cough/cold, depends on the severity

This applies even to major holidays or birthday parties.

Big holiday or just national Oreo cookie day...which in my book is a major holiday;)....stay away if you are contagious. Common courtesy whether family or acquaintances.

A major reason for so many illness epidemics of one kind or another?? People don't stay home from work,school or holiday party when sick.

Seriously..if people would stay home and keep their contagious germs contained then they wouldn't be spread on school desks, shopping cart handles, door handles etc.

So..no matter the age or how close the family feels to eachother...stay home when you are contagious.

AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPENED:

Don't really understand why you posted in the first place.

Yes I would.

It does matter the age of the person who is ill, and the type and severity of the illness.

A kid older than 9 who is careful to use a tissue, toss it in the trash and wash hands--and not kiss the babies, who just has a bit of a cold (and no fever)? We'd still go. Especially if it was a big occasion- like Christmas or Thanksgiving.

A baby who was sick? If just a cold, then probably would still go, and keep them under my direct care (for the most part). If throwing up? Um... no we would be home, at the doctor's office, etc.

Anyone puking? Not going. In fact, if more than one person in the house is puking, NONE of us would probably be going. And I also wouldn't host if someone was throwing up in my house.

So, yes, it does matter the ages of the people involved, and also assuming there are no immuno-compromised people involved (receiving chemo, etc).

A run-of-the-mill cold without a fever in an older child---yep, we'd still go. A young kid with a snotty nose that doesn't know how to wipe it and has a fever also? I'd probably stay home with that kid and let everyone else go.

Yes, of course. I would hope other would, if they were contagious.

If it were contagious or the child felt bad, of course.

I would not make my entire family stay home, say if my oldest was sick. If we were supposed to go to my parents house that day, I'd take the kids and have hubby stay home with the sick one and vice versa. This goes for all major holidays, bday parties and play dates!

Don't care what holiday it is, or whose birthday. I am with you. Stick to your guns here.

It's utterly selfish and thoughtless for anyone who's sick -- kid or adult -- to be around other people, if the sickness is in any way contagious. That includes "little" colds as well as obvious things like vomiting and fever.

And it's especially selfish and thoughtless to drag sick kids (or adults) around grandma, grandpa or any older person; they're likely to be more susceptible to illness and likelier than others to have complications from illnesses brought to their homes like Christmas gifts. A kid's cold that's no big deal for Junior can turn into bronchitis or pneumonia if a older person or a person with a weaker immune system gets it. Or a kid's stomach bug that is going to pass in a few days could land an older adult or susceptible person in the hospital.

Your sister-in-law is thoughtless and should keep her kids, and herself, home. Ditto for the other siblings who haul sick kids around to vomit on your shoe. (Seriously!) Holidays are something on the calendar. You can celebrate any day, not just the one magical day that the calendar dictates. Beats the heck out of visiting grandma in the hospital because she got pneumonia after picking up Junior's little bitty cold. Of course, the hospital's not going to let Junior in anyway....

Your sister-in-law is also like a lot of other parents I've seen who don't bother much with taking kids' temperatures or giving a single thought to the fact their kid vomited yesterday and MIGHT still be sick since 24 hours haven't passed yet....They prefer to be able to say, "Oh, I don't know if she had a fever, she just felt a little warm" or "Well, he had a lot to eat, maybe it was just the food" -- so that mom and dad can hide behind the idea of "Ooops, we didn't really know he/she was SICK!"

Yes, of course. You don't want to get everyone else sick.

Yes I would, and I have several times. You dont want to spread the germs and make everyone else sick. Many people have lower immune systems and I'm sure would appreciate any sick ones staying at home.

Also in any case, I would not want to be there when *I* am sick, I wouldn't imagine my child would either. And Momma doesn't want to deal with a miserable sick child at a gathering. Takes all the fun out.

Yes, I agree that one should stay home with young kids who are sick, regardless of the holiday....if you know they are sick. To be fair, we aren't all nurses, and we don't always know. Is it possible that you're a lot smarter than her about such things? Or even...in general?

As a good friend once said to me, "you can't expect everyone to be on the right hand side of the curve." ;)

Updated

Yes, I agree that one should stay home with young kids who are sick, regardless of the holiday....if you know they are sick. To be fair, we aren't all nurses, and we don't always know. Is it possible that you're a lot smarter than her about such things? Or even...in general?

As a good friend once said to me, "you can't expect everyone to be on the right hand side of the curve." ;)

Yes. I would if someone in my family (kids, husband,myself) is sick, feverish, vomiting, etc. This is a matter of common sense and being considerate with your own family and others.

Yes. I have stayed home when DD was sick, and once we all had a stomach bug and we were NOT going anywhere on Christmas! A small cold - not really a big deal (unless there's another health concern in the party, like my friend with autoimmune issues). But a bad cold or a fever? Yup. One of us stays home with her or we have also canceled our own events (like her 1st birthday when she got sick...)

Per your SWH, I would be irritated, too. They don't need to get everyone in your house sick as well. Did I want to miss Christmas? No. Did I do it because it was the right thing? YES. Not only was it wrong to share, but why put my sick kid in the car and send him/her to play when he/she'd rather be laying on the couch watching cartoons? That's not fair to the kid, either.

Miss if contagious - if just one family member sick, they can stay home. If it's a kid - then kid plus one parent. Other can go.

Minor cold - maybe go, but sneezing/coughing all over the place, stay home.

Doesn't matter how big the holiday. The last thing you need to do is make everyone sick for the holidays.

If child is sick with high fever- over 100.5, Puking, we would miss regardless of the occasion.

If child has a runny nose, fever under 100.5 (usually very controllabe with Tylenol) depending on where were were going we might go. It would also depend on the temperment of the child.

If it's just a cold I usually don't keep them home and just make sure everyone knows they have a cold and we wash hands a lot. It it's puking/diarrhea then definitely stay home. Also depends on how my child is feeling. If I know they'll be miserable if they go then either my husband or myself stays home.

Fever, vomiting, diarrhea, yes we would skip.
Cough, cold, runny nose, no. But we'd make an effort to do a lot of hand washing and no hugging or kissing!
It's funny, I was never super concerned about keeping my kids away from sick people as babies, nor was I concerned with disinfecting everything they came in contact with, and they were rarely ever sick.
Maybe we were just lucky.

I can put my money where my mouth is. I have skipped holidays and birthday parties and canceled events at my home due to having a sick child or being sick myself. It frustrates me and makes me angry when people don't return the courtesy, so I make sure that I set the example that I would like people to set themselves. I set the example I hope my children will follow when they're adults.

Yes, stay home if it's anything more than the sniffles with no fever, even if it's a major holiday. And I get annoyed at people who don't, because since XYZ person brought their sick child to the Christmas Eve party, now I'm spending my New Years Eve with all of my kids sick. The thoughtful thing to do would have been for that child to stay home.

If the child is sick, I would skip and stay home. Age may come into play if the child is old enough to stay home alone and is not so sick that I thought I needed to be there and the child would not be upset to be left at home.

Sick kid = No holiday.

Honestly it depends on what all family if there and if I know they are or not contagous. My youngest was little bitty when my dad was deathly ill and was probably going to be our last Christmas together. I spend all of Christmas Eve in the ER with him so that I could have meds in him so he wouldn't get anyone else sick and then made sure he stayed away from my dad as much as possible. Most others no I would not but have had other family bring sick kids. A caugh I don't worry about with my kids cause that's usually their asthma not anything contagous.

Fever, vomiting, diarrhea - yes, no matter how old the child was.

A horrible hacking cough that is fairly new - probably, especially if the kid was younger and couldn't cover their own mouth or wash their own hands.

A runny nose or lingering cough - no.

Call me crazy, but is this a rhetorical question? Taking your contagious kid to a family function is straight up d-baggery.

Yes, I'd do everyone a favor and stay away.
It's O. holiday/event out of my life.
For an older child (12+) is probably still stay home so he/she wouldn't have to be alone on a holiday.

It irritates the heck out of me when people bring their contagious kid to a gathering. A a mild sniffle is one thing, but if the nose is running like a faucet or he's coughing constantly, stay home.

I understand not wanting to miss the birthday party, or that it sucks to have to skip Thanksgiving at grandma's, but sometimes accepting disappointment is a part of life.

If my son is sick we stay home.
Because home is a whole lot more comfortable than being anywhere else when you're not feeling well.

Sounds like you need to find out if that one 'Typhoid Mary' type relative will be at what ever event and just skip it if they are going since they are always seeming to spread around what ever they have got.

been there. done that. left the party when one showed up.
Doesn't matter if it is a holiday or not.

The party I left when a sick relative showed up was a joint family birthday party for a 70y old and a 1 yr old. Can't get those 'moments' back, but my 2 kids are the only guests that didn't end up sick 2 days later.

Yes. That said, I use the school exclusion policy (no throwing up/diarrhea for 24 hours, no fever for 24 hours; no excessive snotty nose, no goopy eyes, no hacking cough, etc.) for those sort of decisions.We send them to school with minor colds and coughs, but nothing major. I try to consider-- if I were the mom of the kid my son sits next to, would I be uneasy? . When they're younger, too, they'd often rather be resting. Why put them in a situation where their parents are going to be attending to other people and they don't have a place to just rest and be cozy?

Sometimes want to skip Thanksgiving gatherings with my larger family. My sister's kids nearly always get sick and my son came home a couple years ago and threw up. ugh.

I agree with you. I would NEVER take my child sick to a family party. Almost every time we see a certain family members child my child either vomits or has a fever. EVERY time! It's beyond cruel, selfish and rude.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. People need to stay the hell home when they are ill rather then spread their germs to everyone else.

If it's an ear infection or something like that and the child is not contagious and feels well enough to attend then by all means do so. However when a child has a fever and does not feel well to begin with why take them out in the first place? Part of being a parent means you put your child's needs and well being before your own wants.

The type of illness AND the event determines whether we skip it entirely or if one parent and child goes while the other stays home with the sick child. For instance if one of the girls has a cold and the other does not then the healthy child and one parent attends.

However, if any of us have vomiting or diarrhea then we all stay home because odds are if one of us has it the others have already been exposed and possibly infected and we do not want to risk passing that along.

We have missed several major holidays because one of the girls did not feel well. We choose to all stay home in that case because we want to be together as a family on holidays but will divide and conquer for birthday parties and other gatherings.

My BIL always brings his child to every occasion whether she is sick or not. Several Christmases in a row have been ruined for us because he brings her while she is sick. A few years ago hubs family got together a few days before Christmas because of family members vacationing during Christmas break. Of course BIL shows up with his daughter. One look at her and you knew she was very sick and needed to be home in her bed. He didn't even have a thermometer on him nor did he have any medication to treat the high fever she was running. I took her temp with our thermometer, she was at 101. something, I don't recall the exact, she was coughing her poor little head off and her nose was dripping everywhere, yuck it's just gross. She was 3 at the time. I asked why he would bring her out when she was so ill. He got all indigent and said "What? So because she's sick she should have to miss out on the Christmas party? That's not fair to her?" I replied "But dragging her out of the house when she is clearly very ill IS fair to her? Or how about what's fair to the rest of the family with their small children running around sharing toys and now germs? "

Several days later our child came down with the same darn thing...only by then it was Christmas eve and we were up all night with extremely high fever. The poor child didn't even want to open presents Christmas morning. That was the last straw for me. I finally just blew up and put my foot down. If you and or your child is sick then you need to stay the hell home or at least have the common courtesy of informing us ahead of time so we can stay home and healthy.

From what I gather, BIL went around to the rest of the family complaining about me telling him off about bringing his sick child. Imagine his surprise when ALL of them that have small children agreed with me and asked that he keep her home if she is sick.

Some people never cease to amaze me in their ignorance.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B

Yes yes yes, keep your kid home if he/she is sick! My nephews mother is notorious for this. Just this past weekend I went to my MIL's and found my nephew lying in bed with a "cold." A few hours later he had a fever and threw up. Turns out he had a fever the day before and also threw up. In the morning his mother shipped him off to my MIL's house with some cold medicine, knowing my family was going over there too (hubby and 2 kids) to celebrate her bday. Sooo frustrating especially since this isn't the first time, and I know she just wanted the day to herself.

Major holiday or not, sick kids (fever, vomiting) need to stay home!!!
Sniffles and minor cough I would consider depending on how bad and who will be around to possibly catch it.

Yes!!!! If contagious most definitely skip any kind of holiday and or event. If it was a cold that was almost gone, I might consider going. But never for anything serious or contagious.

For your family members who routinely bring their sick kids: Before an event, call and ask them if they are sick. That way you have a heads up and can decide to go or not. Or you could send them a doctors bill for your family members who got ill because of their kid! Maybe that will wake em up to stop this!

If the kid was contagious, definitely stay home, no matter what the occasion.
If the kid just felt too crappy to go, stay home.
If the kid has the sniffles but want to see Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Jim, Aunt Betty, and the cousins, go.

Totally depends on what the illness is. If he's contagious and it was inside a tightly closed house I'd never spread it to anyone else. If he's coughing or has a runny nose then he's likely not contagious.

My MIL was doing chemo and my FIL went to a meeting where someone had a stomach virus. He got it really bad. after he had it a day I had to go out and stay. I took care of her while he recuperated. Even my hubby got it. I stayed away from them and only interacted with her.

She got it even though I was very careful. She had been exposed by my FIL. She got so bad she had to be hospitalized. After a week in the hospital she couldn't do chemo anymore, she was just too weak. She died a couple of months later. You just never know where your germs will end up IF, IF, IF a person is contagious. Running any fever for at least 24 hours before, diarrhea, vomiting, etc.....there are certain things that tell us when it's okay to go and it's better to stay at home.

yes, i think you should skip the get together if your child is ill. it isn't fair to everyone else to spread it to them .

Yes, there are circumstances where I would skip any get together, even the major ones. Depends on how sick the child really is, and how the child feels. I would stay home for a fever or vomiting type illness, but not for a cold/cough.

I think it depends on how sick the kid is. If there is a fever or throwing up, then yes, stay home. If the kid is just feeling and acting like he is miserable, then we stay home. If they just have a runny nose or a cough, then we go. My son was sick on Christmas. I let everyone know that he was sick. I asked if they were ok with us being there (the day before) and everyone said yes. So, we went.

if the child is a teen and just normal sick I would leave them home and still go, but if it was a younger child or they were very sick I would skip it and stay home.

Yes I would. In a heartbeat.

We had this exact situation happen over easter. DS1 and 2 were just getting over RSV, and we decided to go ahead and travel.

After being in grandpa's super heated house (80) and super heated sunporch (85), DS2 ended the visit with a 104 temp.

I know everybody wants to see the babies, but as a parent I MUST look out for their interests. It wouldn't have been an easy call, and it would require some steel in my spine - but never again will I wilt at the mere thought of canceling. I will just calmly cancel - end of discussion.

We will and have skipped family gatherings if someone is sick. We have had Christmas in January because of illness or travel or whatever.
We're not a family that cares which date on the calendar we get together, so long as we get together.

for a cold it depends how severe. J. a regular cold and its cold and flu season we would go...afterall you cant go anywhere with having someone have a cold that time of year
anything more serious we'd stay home

I absolutely think it depends on the severity of the illness and the holiday/event.

Luckily we haven't faced this with my own kids (knock on wood!!) but I've had family members or friends call and say hey this is going on with my kid, would you prefer we stay home? I respect that. And most of the time, if the parent is actually calling it's a fairly minor thing.

I really do think that most symptoms on their own could be explained by something else, including the vomiting, but if her kid was vomiting and had a fever, well that sounds like maybe she should have stayed home. It's hard though, I know if I faced that situation on Christmas I would have been majorly bummed!

Plus, I think that sometimes you really just don't know. If you have a kid who is often somewhat sickly (which I wonder if your nephew falls into that) it's sometimes hard to tell what is more serious and what is less serious. And sometimes kids throw up or have a random fever and they are perfectly fine...so I guess I'm back to it depends on the situation! :)

However, since this has happened to you with the same person on more than on occasion, I would suggest mentioning to your SIL next time you're hosting that if her child is sick, please call first so you can decide if you want them in your home. Of course you'll have to say it in a nice way, but after your entire family got the stomach flu, she's got to be at least a little bit understanding!

My brother had a small Easter lunch at his house. My father,sister,her husband,2 sons all went. I stay at home with my 3 kids because the youngest had a ear infection and was feeling bad and had a cough along with his sister. The day before the lunch my sister called and said the youngest had the flu. No thank you, i rather stay at home then mixing my sick kids with her sick kids.