Would You Let Your Kids Do This?

Oh this brings back wonderful memories of Mrs. A, the elderly woman (widow) who lived next door to us. I would visit her all the time, she taught me how to knit and garden. My mom did lots of things to help her out. This woman would probably love their company, I would just give them a time limit like others mentioned so they don't overstay.

I had the same situation with my son. We moved to a new neighborhood with no kids his age. He took to the young couple across the street and hit it off ever since.
I felt wierd about my young son going over to play with them..but it was always fine with them and my son loved it and he still talks about them. They have since moved and he always says he was thankful for them.
I would let them go, it would be good for them and her most likely!

Sounds like my neighbor. I loved the SMELL of her house. I still have NO IDEA what it was but I loved it. When ever my parents couldn't find me or my sister's, the phone would ring and my mom would have us sent home (along with either an egg or cup of sugar.) Ahhhh, the good old days!

definitely.
at our old house, our son, about 3 or 4 at the time, knocked at our neighbor's door one day and asked if the husband could come out to play.
and he did!
:) khairete
S.

When I was growing up we had a neighbor just like her ... I have wonderfully fond memories of Mrs M... she used to sit in her living room and knit all day! She was a WONDERFUL cook who made me lasanga frequently (still a fav of mine) and she let me play in her parlor all of the time. It was just a nice quiet place to pretend play that was different from my house. She was soooo kind and I did little things for her around the house growing up and we just had a nice bond. For me it was great because I did not grow up knowing my grandparents (fam drama) and she was a great surrogate and escape for me as a young child. So, based on my loving memories I would say yes, let your girls do this and if there was someone in my world like this I would let my son do the same. I think our elderly are ignored so quickly and easily.

Totally - I would have them do things for her. Maybe help her take the trash out, something age appropriate. One day you could even make cookies or something and take them over. Teaching our kids to help out when someone is in need is a great life lesson. Even if the need is just companionship ;0)

I grew up across the street from a lady like this and I was there ALL the time!

yes, I would let them. Sounds like blessings going both ways.
Wish she was my neighbor!

It sounds like you have a good relationship with her, so I would let my kids go over. What I would probably do, though, is give the older one my watch and say in front of Miss B "I need you to be home to do X,Y, or Z in 20 minutes, so please make sure you're home by then." That way they don't overstay their welcome and she can kick them out if she's tired without being rude : ) I would probably also say something about not eating anything, but that's only because I am irrationally squicky about eating things from other people's homes.

It sounds like you have a lovely relationship with this woman.

I think the whole story is AWESOME R.. Of Course you should let them go! What I would do is maybe 20 minutes after they go over, go over yourself, just to be sure, or 15 mins, or whatever the comfort zone is for you.

:)

If you trust the neighbor then Yes I think it is ok. I'm sure your girls would love to help her out and having the girls in her house will also help your neighbor out. You said that she gets lonely so let the girls go visit, but set up a time limit and see how it goes.

Yes, of course I would let them. I would ask the neighbor for a good time to send them home tho so she doesn't feel like she has to keep them over there all day either. And I would let her know if she wants to send them home before the agreed time, to please walk them over so you know they are home. Otherwise, I think the girls would benefit from having a senior in their life and of course she will benefit from it too.

Sounds like she just wants some company. I agree with SLM i'd stick around the first time and lilmit visits to 30 minutes. And if Ms. B has something she needs done and your girls are capable of it and want to help. I'd let them.

Sounds like she is like a grandma, for you and them. I think it is great to have that kind of relationship. I would let my kids but would go with them the first time and set limits so things don't get overdone--her or them. Of course, if it is anything like my neighborhood was when I was little (sad things have changed so much), they could easily loose track of time.

Oh, also I would see if the house is safe for them. I don't mean as in her being evil or anything. When you don't have kids around, you don't realize what you have where. This way you can tell your kids to make sure they stay away from whatever.

Some of my earliest childhood memories are with Mrs. Day, a dear widow who lived next door on our Yorkshire street in England. She had a little white Westie named Corrie. We often visited her. She'd bake bread on Fridays - I'll never forget that smell! The arrangement worked great both ways, and I have these sweet memories 40 years later. ( : You're probably a much bigger blessing in this lady's life than you realize.

I think it's wonderful that you and your kids have such a nice neighbor. I am sure having you next door helps to ease her lonelyness. I also think it would be great for your girls to go over to her home and visit. I remember going to my grandmas' houses when I was little and listening to their stories from childhood. Even listening to my Mom (she's 94) tell stories from her childhood is fun for me. My Mom grew up during the depression and she will tell stories of how much they loved it when my grandparents would go get grocieries and they would take the big box they brought them home in and tie a rope to it and pull her little brother and sister around like it was a wagon. I believe it is so good for young ones to hear about how our parents and grandparents lived and the toys they had and no TV or video games and they still had fun.
Your girls can go over and spend time with Miss B she can ask them to help with a couple of household chores or teach them how to bake, or sew or crochet and tell her stories. You should go over about once an hour to make sure she isn't getting too tired and the kids are behaving. But I think it's great they get an 'extra grandma' and that can so enrich their lives.

Yes!!

One of my fondest memories as a child are of my next door neighbors, Tony & Bess. They were an elderly couple who spoiled my sister & I with treats, stuffed animals, & overall sweetness. We loved to be invited into their house for treats. I marveled at all their things. As I grew up, I had a fondness for elderly people that I think stemmed from Tony & Bess.

Coincidentally, when we moved to our first house, the neighbors below us were an elderly couple named Bill & Loretta. Instantly, I was struck by the similarities they had to Tony & Bess. Loretta passed away a few years ago, but Bill continued to spoil my children until he passed away last month. They loved Mr. Bill & his treats, his house, his silliness. They still look into his kitchen window to see if maybe he has returned. When they do, I turn their faces to the sky & we say hello to them & I say hello to Tony & Bess.

Wow... sorry for all that... but I think this is an excellent way to teach your daughters many things... about being a good neighbor, about elderly people, about being friendly, etc.

Enjoy!!

Yes! As long as your girls are not over staying their welcome, go ahead! It's a win-win situation! My kids have been invited to come over and sing songs and play the piano with my neighbor. (She's in her 60's and has invited them over in the past.)

It sounds like Miss B. is a lovely lady. Let your girls enjoy the company of her.

My husband was invited over several times as a little boy to a grandma/grandpa type neighbors and he still talks about those days. He would sit and watch the Cubs play baseball on t.v. at Mr. and Mrs. J's house. Mr. J. loved teaching him about the game and enjoyed telling him stories. My husband loved it because his own grandpa lived in another country and his dad worked long hours.

She's only going to invite them if she wants them. But just for peace of mind, I'd hang around a bit the first time.

I totally agree, let them go but tell them to be back in half and hour/hour or so. I think I would go with them the first time and make sure they understand the rules of her house and such. But after that, I think it's fine.

I would let them go but I would put a time limit on it. It's not that I wouldn't trust the women. It's that I wouldn't want my kids to be there long enough to cause trouble, kind of like the saying, "To much of a good thing isn't such a good thing." I would also have a talk with my kids about being very careful inside her house, ya know the "behave or else" talk.

My neighbors aren't elderly, they are in their 50-60s but they love having my daughter over. I completely trust them and they have basically "adopted" her. It is great, she will go over and play with them. They even have a toy area for her and they are teaching her lots of wonderful things. Your neighbor will let them know when they need to go home. Talk with her, let her know you can't stay, but to have the kids call when they need to come home and you can go get them.
I have several elderly neighbors that I would visit when I was younger. They seemed to enjoy the company and my parents still kept in touch with them over the years. It makes for a wonderful community.

As long as they go together and don't overstay, as you said, I would let them. I had an elderly neighbor that my brother and I loved to visit!

She sounds great. I'd let my kids go over there. There was an older couple in my neighborhood growing up and my brother and I spent tons of time over there. It made our day and theirs!

I would. If Miss B doesnt mind, and she says its not a bother then I would. The girls would probably love regular visits to her house when invited. And maybe they can start bringing her the mail and newspaper while you watch. Gives them responsiblity and teaches them how to be kind and helpful to others. And if she has any small things she needs help with like you said I am sure they would love that too.

It could be a great friendship for you all, and I am sure that she appreciates the company and someone to be a grandmother type to.

If you trust your neighbor, I don't see a problem with it. I used to go visit with my elderly neighbors when I was around 5 years old and they really seemed to enjoy the company. I know that "times have changed" but maybe for the first visit go with them just for a brief half hour visit especially if you've never been in her home so that you can make up rules for your children to follow while they are there (i.e not being allowed in the bedroom area or bathroom). Then when they go alone, I would talk to Ms B to be sure that this is truly an ok thing for her to have the kids alone and set a time limit for the kids to be over that you make Ms B aware of.

I think that if you trust her and feel comfortable,go for it! I LOVE elderly people--- we can learn SO much from them and I love to hear stories about their lives and just the real wisdom that comes with age. It will be a huge gift that you will be giving to your kids to let them go over and spend time with Ms B. They will remember her F.! I am not sure how old she is,but I would just make sure that she is clear that she can send them home any time and that maybe the first few times give the girls a watch with a timer on it-when it beeps, they need to come home. Best wishes!
M

I had a couple neighbors like that when I was growing up. I would help with yard work, and things like that. As I got older I would cat-sit for them when they were on vacation.

Its a great way to keep the older people young, it gives the kids an opportunity to learn about another way of life (surely they will hear stories of yesterday), and they can learn responsibility.

I would say yes-as long as you have been in her house before and know it is ok.

It sounds like Miss B. is a sweet women.
If she has lots of small things and some very expensive I probably would rather coming with them every once in a while unless you think your girls will not brake anything.
Other way I say let them go, just keep it for small amounts of time.

Yes, I would. It obviously makes everyone happy. Go ahead and tell her to put them to work. :)

Absolutely - this little old lady is enjoying your girls - what a blessing for her to have your family live next to her. Miss B is recalling her youth as she "entertains" your girls and shows them her birds, etc. She may give them trinkets becuase it brings her pleasure to see your daughters faces light up when she does. We used to have an apartment in our house and a little old lady, family friend lived here - who was from England and of course, had a British accent. My cousin's little girls were so excited to have "tea & crumpets" with Miss Vicki. (Boy weren't they disappointed when they discovered crumpets are really just shortbread cookies - very plain).

I am certain that the 30 minutes your girls have to visit with Miss B brightens up her day and allows your girls to have this precious inter-generational relationship. I would encourage your girls to help her pull weeds, rake leaves, shovel her path in the winter - all of that will give them the positive benefits of helping another person. When you bake at your hosue have them bring some over to Miss B - etc. As she gets more frail the relationship will enable your girls to experience aging of someone they care about - and how to help.

What wonderful experience for your family and how lovely for Miss B to have you living nextdoor. This is a very good thing for both Miss B and for your girls. ;o)

It sounds like you know this lady pretty well, so I don't see a problem with it. Have a chat with her beforehand making sure she knows it's ok to send the girls home when she's tired or doesn't want them there anymore. Or, send them at a time when there is a limit to how long they can be there anyway (such as an hour before lunchtime), so they have to come home at a set time.

Enjoy your time off!

If she is kind of like a grandma type to them then probably. I want to say no, but I am paranoid, but I don't know the situation. thinking more about it, I think that if you trust her and she likes being around kids, then yeah maybe...kids keep you young, right?

Yes, and when Miss B is ready to send them home-she should just call you to come get them or watch from the window!

Well when I was a kid...30 yrs ago...if a neighbor invited us kids over, we had to get permission & then it was usually 'no'..."buy why"..."because you just don't need to, that's why". Never a straight answer but on the rare occasion we did get to, it was only for like 30 minutes & we were told under no circumstances were we to stay more than that...."because you just don't need to...that's why". Our g-ma AND our Mom both told the neighbor that we were not to stay more than a certain length of time & they abided by that so maybe that will work for you & your daughters. Set an allotted time & if they go over...like seriously over like an hour or two then tell them they can't go over anymore for now b/c they didn't observe the time limit but I thought if it worked for us maybe it'd work for you. Good luck!

One of my greatest childhood memories was hanging out at Mrs. Steeples house... about 80+ years old, also a lonely widow. She made us jello and we picked peaches from her peach trees. We loved sitting around on her plastic covered couches and hearing stories about the war and her husband. If your kids are the type that they aren't jumping all over her house and breaking tings, then why not, I would certainly let them go for maybe 30 mins or so just to make sure she isn't getting to tired.

I think it is great, for the girls and your neighbor. Miss B has some company
and the girls will learn from Miss B. It is a win win situation for all involved.

Yes, I would definitely let me kids do that as long as I trusted the neighbor, which it seems you do. I know you are probably worried about your kids doing something wrong over there, but it seems like by just keeping her company, your kids are helping out your neighbor. I think it's really nice and you are teaching them about community and being good, nice people.

Yes I would - together. Maybe she is just really lonely and enjoys their company and energy.