My parents are coming to Christmas dinner this year. Upon telling me this, my father stated "and I therefore expect to be fed a proper meal. A proper meal would consist of a meat, such as a ham, some potatoes, turnips, sweet potatoes, vegetables - I like broccoli or carrots, etc". I was pretty upset at the wording of all this and told my husband and his family that I was seriously considering having pizza. I eventually got over my irritation and started planning Christmas dinner.
I have been to the store and bought everything for the dinner I planned to serve (ham, greenbean casserole, carrots, mashed potatoes, rolls, applesauce). My father asked what I was having and I told him. His response was "What about turnips?" No one else likes or eats turnips (I don't even know how to make them) so I am not planning on having them. However, he keeps harping on it. He told me to go buy some turnips and they'll call when they are an hour away so that I can start cooking them and my mother can mash them when they get there (notice how it's my mother he's offering up and not himself). I keep going back and forth between feeling that it's rather rude for a guest to be making requests like that and he can suck it up and eat what I make and thinking that he's going to be a guest for dinner and therefore I should cater to his requests. What are your thoughts? Should I figure out how to make these turnips or not?
Thanks to everyone for your responses! Not bad for my first qestion on mampedia to get 50 responses! I found s many of them very helpful and quite a few pretty funny and amusing - especially the great turnip war of 2011, turnip pizza, and Dawn's comment.
My parents are flying in from NJ (I live in ATlanta). However, somehow they felt flying into Myrtle beach, renting a car, and driving 6 hours was more economical and practical - so the turnips won't be able to be prepared ahead of time.
I have decided to make them, or at least have the ingredients on hand for my mom to make them if I can't - afterall, I have 4 small children and will have 17 people at Christmas dinner.
A lot of my issue stems from my opinion of my father. Although we have a good relationship and I talk to him everyday on the phone, I am very resentful of how he treated/s my mother. He has always been condescending, verbally abusive, selfish, etc. I could never understand why my mother put up with his crap. SO by giving in, I feel like I'm further catering to this behavior and being walked all over just like he does to my mother.
And the "proper meal" comments stems from a recent trip to Disney. We went to Disney world at halloween and we tend to pay for almost all of it, if not everything. My parents elected to come down but not go to the parks. He was upset because while we were there he wasn't served a 5 course meal every night - apparently the casseroles and chicken ring that I made were not proper meals. (Although my cousin had offered to take him to the grocery store on several occasions so that he could make his own meal).
I would do it. You dont know how long you will have him. Someday you will miss his little demands....
My father in law would shake his glass when it was empty. (meant someone refill me) Now the family wishes he was here to shake that stinkin' glass...lol!
When you are a dinner guest, you eat what is served and say "Thank you for a lovely dinner." The only time a guest should be making menu requests is if there is a medical or religious issue involved. .
I have a friend with celiac disease, a friend who is diabetic, two who are allergic to msg, one who is allergic to cayenne, a few who are vegetarian, and a couple who keep kosher. I keep their dietary restrictions in mind when planning the menu for a dinner party.
For birthdays, the guest of honor gets to choose the menu, and I cook what they ask for.
Other than that, anyone who wants something I am not planning to serve is free to make and bring it themselves.
Lol. I wouldn't , people eat what I serve it they can make their own.
.......and for the record my dad has been gone 6 years and I miss him, but nobody needs to be so picky at my expense.
"Dad, I'm going to be really busy in the kitchen. I'd love for you to bring the turnips and I'll be happy to reheat them." 50/50 compromise. See if he brings the turnips or not... it's on him.
Pizza..... with turnips?
I'd make him the turnips and eat some with him. I wish my dad was here to share a meal with....
Yeah, I wouldn't cater. I mean, unless it was for a food allergy or religious something (kosher or whatever). We hold A LOT of dinner parties and usually I just tell people that "here's what I'm making, if you want something specific, please bring it." And leave it at that. If no one in your house likes turnips, definitely don't make them! If he's traveling far, then you can offer to buy them but tell your dad that he needs to be responsible for making them - the entire dish! Don't let your family make hosting a dinner so miserable for you that you never want to do it again! Good luck!
Unrelatedly, Turnip would be a cute name for a cat.
p.s. sorry to completely contradict everyone else on this board, but I strongly feel like you are an adult with your own family, house, kids, pets etc. and you should be the ones making decisions in your house. If you dad was to ask you as a GUEST (not as your dad) you could consider, but if he's going to demand it to be a certain way, you should not cave in. And if you want to be nice you can just say that you already have your budget and time planned for dinner and you can't change it.
We have a huge family get together for holidays. My side (parents,step parents, sister and her BF, aunts,cousins, grandma) as well as my hubbys side (his mom and stepdad and younger 5 siblings...he is oldest of 10 so there are still young kids living at home with my MIL. his dad & step mom, sometimes aunts and uncles will come too)
We plan ahead at to what WE WANT to cook and then call everyone who is invited and ask what they are bringing. My MIL loves broccolli casserole but her hubs and the little kids wont eat it so she always brings it for holiday dinners because she can enjoy it and others will eat it and it wont go to waste. Everyone invited contributes something. Since my dad doesn't cook, he brings pepsi,chips,paper plates, napkins, etc to the party. Grandmas and aunts usually make pies,etc.
If someone wants something specific- they are expected to bring it. We also try to make sure not every pie maker is making pumpkin...it works for us and there are ALOT of people. I would just tell your dad if he wants turnips- he (or your mom probably) will have to prepare and bring them :) Hope this helps!
My answer to this is to go to the store, buy the turnips, boil them and lovingly turn them over to your mom to finish. Give your dad a big hug, tell him you love him, and pass the turnips to him first.
Oh, what I would do to have my dad here...he died when I was nine years old and thankfully, I still have my mom (who I would go to the moon and back for!)
Love your mama and your daddy...they are not going to be around forever.
Merry Christmas K.!
It's your dad! Unless there is some other issue that you are not telling us about....I don't see what the problem is to throw some turnips in the water and start boiling. It warms my heart and makes me feel loved when my mom makes me little things that she knows I like when we all come over for dinner. I LOVE quiche and am tickled when she makes it. Maybe you could just show your dad you love him by boiling up some turnips.
Merry Christmas!
L.
I would tell them to bring turnips.
Other then the turnips, how is your relationship with your father?
Turnips are cheap and very easy to steam or boil, mash, salt, pepper and butter....they are actually pretty good.
So I suggest, pick your battles, is it worth a holiday battle?
Blessings.....
We have a saying at my house... you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Mind you it's meant for the picky kiddos but it really should apply to everyone. I would tell him this is what I'm making and if you'd like something special you are welcome to bring it yourself. It would be a different situation if the request was something everyone liked to eat but I don't cater to picky kids or DADS!
I guess it depends on your relationship with your dad. My dad would Never make a demand. He just doesnt talk like that. If he requests a food (and he rarely does) I'd be so thrilled to be able to easily give him something to make him happy, I mean it's not like he's asking for us to move, or give him another grand child or something big. Does you Dad usually talk like this? Is this unusual for him? (If he is having some major behavior changes you and mom need to talk with a Dr.) Do you feel you owe him for being such a wonderful Dad? or have you always had a rocky relationship? Is he in the habit of bossing your mom around? that would really bug me!
Hell no, I wouldn't make the damn turnips. If he had called first and politely asked for them, then sure no problem. However, there is no way that I would allow him to demand this of me so rudely.
As far as someone shaking a glass at me to refill it, I was a server in college. The person that did this to me now would be wearing said glass in their lap.
So funny as sounds a bit like my dad... Different generation than ours! I think part of the answer to your question is what your relationship is like w/ your dad. ie: he was a great dad, self sacrificing for the most part etc. Or he was not very attentive and always kind of a jerk. I don't have experience with the latter so from my pov with the former, if it's just a matter of boiling the turnips, I'd do it. My dad did a lot for me... And figure your mother created this monster (like my mom did catering to my dad...) so she can then "fix" them when she gets there. It sounds like you're already doing a huge meal on your own so that should be enough so I woudln't go to a lot of trouble. I'd just say you can't handle doing a lot more. But if it's fairly simple for you and he's kind of an older man who has some sentimental attachment to turnips at Christmas and your mom is fine with doing the majority of the work (ask her), then I'd do it. Whole thing is pretty funny and so ridiculous you kind of have to laugh...
not "rather" rude. EXTREMELY rude. beyond rude. what i don't get, is you sound surprised. does your dad not normally act like this? my FIL is somewhat like this at times and last time we were together i inadvertently (it JUST SLIPPED OUT I SWEAR!) put him inhis place, and he didn't say another cross word to me the rest of the time. sometimes with bullying men you just have to stand up to them.
honestly. next time he mentions turnips let him know that you're just maxed out and HE is welcome to make them and bring them if HE wants them. otherwise YOU are cooking what YOU planned and sorry but that's all you will have time/energy for.
and i would keep pizza on the table as an option!
seriously. i don't care if he is my father, i wouldn't appreciate being treated like that. just because he is your father doesn't mean he gets to talk to you like you're dirt. your relationship may just benefit from you standing up for yourself. you don't have to be rude like he is. but you don't have to be a doormat either.
When I have someone to my home for a meal, I try to make dishes that I know they'll like. I know our friends do the same for us. When preparing for a large group, I like to offer a larger variety so if a person doesn't like one thing there is another option available.
I find it odd that you're referring to your father as a guest. It appears that you do not have a close relationship with either of your parents. The way I look at it, it's your father. Think of how often he did things for you that were an inconveniece. Turnips are not very expensive and easy to make, so why not just make him happy - consider it Christmas gift. OR Why don't you ask your mother to make them and bring them as a side dish?
What a difference it would have made if he had said "K., would you mind if I asked for some favorites for Christmas dinner?" You would have said, "What do you have in mind, Dad?" He could have made his list and said that Mom would help you with it when she arrived.
Instead, he's thrown down orders to you as if you are his servant. Personally, I wouldn't do it because he is treating you like this. But only you know what kind of hissy fit he'll throw when he arrives if he doesn't have his damn turnips.
If you want, you can give him turnips but not give them in the way he asked for. Perhaps that would make him realize that he doesn't get his way with you. Get an acorn squash, a butternut squash, broccoli, turnips and sweet potato. Cut them up in cubes, put them out on a baking pan, put some olive oil on them, and bake them on 400 degrees for an hour. This winter dish is wonderful, and very healthy for you. And all of you can actually stand to eat the turnips in the dish.
I heartily recommmend this so that your dad gets turnips but doesn't get to rule YOU. Let him have his way totally, and you'll be treated like this all the time he comes.
I'm sorry your dad talks to you like that. My dad would have used the soft approach and gotten his way, even the ice cream I so desperately didn't want him to eat LOL!
Good luck this weekend!
Dawn
Can you talk to your mother about this? Maybe enlist her help and have her cook the turnips and then bring them along to re-heat when they get there? Otherwise, I would just say, "Sorry Dad, no can do - I've got enough to cook already." Is your dad used to others (like your mother) catering to him and what he wants? Maybe he needs to realize that the world does not revolve around him!
On the other hand, turnips are pretty yummy when mashed up into and mixed with mashed potatoes - they add a little more of a sweeter flavor and nobody has to know that OMG - there's turnips in there! I understand how you feel because of the way, perhaps, your dad spoke, but I also lost my dad to a heart attack 7 years ago, and my mother last year to cancer, so if they could be here for me to cook for, I'd try to make whatever they wanted! But they wouldn't be all rude about it either. Maybe your dad needs to hear from you, "Umm, maybe if you asked nicely?"
I would make the turnips. I know its a pain in a$$ to add on extra. I agree the way he "asked" was kinda rude..
But just think about this... is it really that big of a deal to add one more thing if its going to make your dad happy? Also, heaven forbid something happens between now and next year, you know you will be kicking yourself for not making it for him. When its all said and done, its really a small thing to do for him. And he will be happy you did! That's what is important.
Enjoy your meal.. with out your dad upset there wasn't turnips!
Tell him, "You are more than welcome to make the turnips, bring them in that special casserole dish mom bought. You know how you like them best, so I'll leave that to you to make when we get here! Thanks Dad, love you :)
Or you can do the whole, "Oops, forgot to buy the turnips!"
Or you can make the turnips, then hopefully your dad won't complain b/c it isn't the way he likes.
Well, as irritating as it is, he is your dad, and I'd do it for him. When people get older they get demanding, and say things bluntly, without thinking they may be upsetting someone. I'd just chalk it up to that, because someday he won't be around, and you'll be wishing that you had made those turnips. It's not that big of a deal to make them.
My first thought I was "no way," then I thought, "how old is this dad?" Maybe xmas isn't xmas to him without turnips. Maybe the turnips are the only thing that will make his xmas.
They are old school and set in their ways. Honestly I would meet his demands and make the damn turnips all while griping about it but I know that if either my parents or my husbands parents wanted something served at Christmas I would do it.
The only time I've ever made something special for a family member when they came to my house for dinner was when my grandfather had pancreatic cancer and couldn't eat foods with too much spice because of his chemo. I made him fettucini alfredo. He said it was the best he'd ever had. (I even caught him eating some of it in the middle of the night after we had all gone to bed.) I made some more the next day to make sure he had as much as he wanted. My grandmother said it was the first time in months she'd seen him really eat.
If it hadn't been for chemo, I wouldn't have made any special meals. If your father wants turnips, then let him bring his own turnips. But that's just me.
Um I'd think of my father as family not a guest. If he wanted something special I'd do it if I can. If he went crazy on his needs. I'd say Dad I love you but I want to enjoy some time as well so lets keep it to one special thing you'd like.
It's irritating and rude. I'd probably make the turnips just so you don't have to hear about it all through dinner ("This would be a great dinner if we just had turnips") or the rest of the year. But as you peel and cook and mash those turnips, please know that I understand why you are annoyed and again, I think that he is being rude.
ooh my! At first I thought your dad might be joking! my dad does that sometimes!! I just got our box from my mom - with all her goodies in it - I called her and told her to send all the fudge, balls, cookies, etc. to me - they were poisoned and I didn't want to have to make anyone else suffer!! She got that I was joking and said - sorry! Poison has already been distributed.
I would tell my dad - "dude - you are the only one who likes turnips. You can bring them yourself. I will not be making them. I already changed my plans to cater to you. The least you can do is bring these."
and yeah - I would say DUDE. And yeah I would tell him that I've catered to him enough. if he doesn't like it? He can stay home. Seriously. I love my dad to death...but there is a line...he crossed it. you catered to him. But that is enough.
I don't cater to others demands..and I won't! Vegetarians in our family...drive me crazy...no eggs...no milk...nothing that comes from anything "that had a mother". Also....this one don't like onions...this one only likes grilled onions...this one this and this one that!!! I just cook and you eat whatever part of it you like. I am mostly referring to when I cook for a larger group.
I was told in about the same tone that I was expected to host holiday dinners because I was the eldest daughter and I had the house and my grandmother was too old to be cooking for a large family (if you consider 7 people large). This was told to me before Thanksgiving one year. I just happened to be 3 months pregnant with my second and the thought of standing in the kitchen cooking all day was enough to send me running to the bathroom. In the end I go so upset that I absolutely refused to cook Thanksgiving dinner. My husband took our daughter out with his mom and my dad, uncle, and grandmother had their own dinner and I stayed home and napped. Now the last couple of years since my second was born I have offered and I will tell people what I'm cooking. If they have any specific "requirements" for their dinner plate they may bring it themselves.
Okay... he MUST realize... that he is not "royalty" NOR the ONLY guest, there.
There are OTHERS there too. With their own ideas about a meal.
And you cannot, serve each person, their requested foods.
C'mon... the man is a bit demanding.
I would not.
This is a family meal. Not a meal ONLY for him.
That is selfish.
Unless, he is so unable to fathom, that he is not the only one eating, nor the only guest there.
And besides... it is really RUDE... to act that way and demand... what a Host, cooks.
This is your home.
With your guests.
You are the Host.
Your Husband's family, is ALSO going to be there. Too.
His WIFE, can make the turnips, then bring it to your home.
For HIM to eat.
Proper "guests" do not expect the Host, to cater to them. Nor demand that they do.
Family or not.
I'd say, "The dinner is for everyone, not just for you, and I have to make what the majority will eat. I would love to make you the meal of your dreams on another occassion, when it's just you, such as your birthday or father's day, but Christmas is just not the right time for such specific requests. I hope you understand."
What happened to being a gracious guest & eating what is served, especially when you are not offering to help or bring a dish.
I would not tell him anything more but I would not go buy turnips if that is not what you planned to fix especially since no one else will eat them. You could ask your dad if he would like to bring the turnips and if he says no then you will realize how unimportant they really are to him.
IMO, he is being very rude and you should not cater to him. I would cater to things such as a food allergy etc and make sure to not have that item or to cook said item totally seperately from everything else/keep it seperate etc. But for him to give you the "proper meal" speech was far beyond rude, unacceptable and insane. If he wants them that bad then he should cook them himself, bring them and heat them up by his self. Just how I feel about it. But if one of my parents talked to me like that then their would be either pizza or chinese takeout on the dinner table for them!
Wow that's cheeky of him! I would tell my dad that my menu is set, I am doing no more more shoppping but that HE is welcome to buy turnips, prepare them however he likes and bring them with him.
what we do in our family is we get together and even skype conference and decide on the menu for the evening and who is gonna cook what, all the women get together and cook in my or my moms kitchen and we have fun talking away. However if its not on the menu its not on the table, we rarely make changes.
I also agree that as a guest you smile, you eat what you are served and you like it!! and if you didn't, you say you did! (at least with my cooking, jeje)
Having said that.... It's your dad, and it's Xmas, would it really be that bad to make the turnips?? (just asking) Any other time I would say who needs turnips anyway... However, Xmas is a time for giving and maybe this would mean a lot to him.
Please let me say that I agree it is rude of him to ask that way, but I really think God (I believe in God) is giving you an opportunity to be generous...
It is your father after all ... how many times did you demand things growing up? Not that I side with him but I do understand where he is coming from as well.
It depends. You can ignore his request, he'll survive. Or you can lovingly make your father the turnips, not because he's a gracious guest, but because you love him and he's your dad. You can't go wrong. Good luck!
I would swallow my pride and squash my irritation and do it just to make sure there were no unpleasant upsets on Christmas day. Your father sounds like he's being a grumpy old man.
My mom and dad are living in Europe and I don't even know if I ever see them again since they are going on in years now...but you can bet your last dollar that the on their last visit I cooked everything they requested including all my dad's favorites. I remember one dinner, I made pot roast, my dad was to my left and my husband was at my right, they both started eating and both went " mmm" at the same time...Come on , he is your dad, go buy the turnips.
Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Sorry, Dad. I planned my menu and turnips aren't on it." Better yet, don't say anyting til he gets there.
I would remind him that you catch more flies with honey. Most of us want to make our guests happy and give them some of their favorite traditional meals. But no one talks to me that way in my own home.
Nope. You're having plenty. Tell him if he wants turnips--feel free to prepare them and bring them along!
You know what? If this was my dad, I'd make the darn turnips because I would want to make him happy. (he's a nice guy) But it sounds like your dad might always be demanding and you're fed up. If you are, tell him to bring his own turnips.
I'm all about being a good hostess and trying to accommodate for things like the holidays. HOWEVER I would not take kindly AT ALL to demands. It wouldn't fly in my home, and my family knows that asking if I could fix something is cool and I'll do my best to please, but telling me to do something is a sure-fire way to get it marked off the menu. I don't know....I'm just like that.
I had a family member like that growing up. I saw what it did to his wife. I made a mental note when I was 12 that I would never allow that in my life, and it's a promise I've kept. My problem is actually the opposite: I married a guy who, like me, thinks there can be all kinds of wonderful holiday traditions but we don't need the exact same menu every single time. Nor are we banned to not eat something we like for a whole year just because "that's the special Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner".
If you would LIKE, you could fix most of the dinner and ask your mom to do the turnips (and you could be there under the guise of learning from her, just to spend some time with her).....but Do what you think is right, and have your husband ready to back you up if necessary. But I hope it's a good time for your family and your mom.
I don't know... I guess it depends on your relationship with your Dad. Is it "just not Christmas" without the darn turnips? Sounds like that's about all he cares about in your "proper meal." If all it consists of is boiling them and mashing them up, I'd probably do it. Obviously it's important to him.
I guess I'd feel differently if he was asking you to change the main course of your planned meal or leave out a major ingredient because of dietary preferences. Meh... it's just turnips...
This is a tricky situation, mainly because it involves a whole history of a father-daughter relationship.
If it was a friend or another family member, I would be tempted to say, I have planned to serve X, Y, Z. If you would like something different, you are welcome to bring it yourself, or you may ASK me politely if I would have time to also include that dish.
A guest that deserves accommodation is one that respects you and your time.
I think I would call him and sweetly ask "Daddy would you mind bringing the turnips? I have so much going on that it would really be a big help. Pretty please?" That way he still feels in control but will be helping out his baby girl and you don't have to cook turnips!
as a vegetarian i don't demand much at family holidays, just not to make every dish with meat products. give me a few things to eat and i'll be fine. no my MIL doesn't even do that much, but that's my issue not yours.
as for your father, i'd simply say "sorry dad, but i have planned this menu already and you may bring them if you want to."
Tell him if he wants turnips to go buy some, prepare them and bring them. You're a grown woman -if you don't want to do turnips, don't do turnips (GAG). Personally we would be eating whatever I wanted to prepare and if he didn't like it -he could stay at home.
If it was my dad, I would try to make the turnips and consider it as part of his Christmas Gift. and might say upon serving "Just as you requested"...or better yet say nothing. Chances are they may not be as good as your moms, but I do believe your efforts would not go unnoticed.
My mother in law cuts turnips up like potatoes and boils them in water with oil or some fat meat, a little salt, some sugar. I do not like turnips but these are so good!
Best Wishes and Merry Christmas!
No one in my family is nearly that demanding - but I'd try to appease my parents.
Sounds like your dad is a pain though - sorry!!
I wouldn't do it. If upon arriving he complaines about it I would say "we'd be happy to go to your house for Christmas, that way you can cook them just the way you like them"
Ahhh, I'm glad you wrote the followup. You could just tell this has little to do with turnips and so much more to do with your relationship with your Dad.
My advice is talk to him, NOW. Tell him how you feel, tell him in a gentle and constructive way that you think he is demanding and his tone comes off as unkind. Tell him you do not like the way he treats your Mother but you know that since she allows it, it's partially her fault. Talk to him openly and honestly because the day will come when it's too late and you will have to deal with those feeliongs of things left unsaid.
You see, if you had a solid relationship with your Dad, not only would he speak to you respectfully but I suspect you would want to please him. You would probably bend over backwards to make a meal you know he liked and if you didn't he would smile at you and tell you it was delicious anyway.
My Dad died very suddenly about 10 years ago. I thank God that we had a great relationship and the last words he said to me was I love you. Sure wish I could cook him some turnips right now :)
You are preparing a lovely meal. Guests don't get to dictate the menu. He can opt to come to your holiday meal or not. Turnips may be his favorite, but if he can't have Christmas without them, then his wife can make them, bring them and heat them up in the microwave. You are allowed your own traditions and your father is being very rude. He isn't making a request, he is making a demand. IF he must be in such control of the holiday meal, then he should prepare the meal. Don't make something that you don't know how to and no one else likes. Make the vegetables of your choice.
A guest will graciously eat whatever they are served. Family or no, a guest does not dictate the meal. If he wants the meal a certain way, he can make it himself. It's your house, and you make the rules, and you cook what works for you and your family. I don't mean be rude or disrespectful or inconsiderate, but your father is showing bad manners here in his demands. It's not even about whether you're showing Christmas cheer or love for your parents or anything else - boundaries are an important part of healthy relationships, and he's out of line.
Now, when everyone gets together at my mother-in-law's for meals, she taste-tests everything - the deviled-egg filling, the mashed potatoes, etc. - to make sure they taste "right." This results in a lot of stress all around, but it is her house and so it's made her way. It's all about whose house it is, or who is in charge, and even though it is right and proper to honor your parents, they are not in charge of your household. :-)
Hi there, K.:
Know it's too late for the turnips at Christmas dinner issue, but just have a comment as a sidebar and it's this: My goodness you were hosting l7 people for dinner?? AND you have 4 small children? You deserve a medal ! I had 8 for Christmas dinner and found it very stressful and a lot of work AND no little kids to care for.
. So my thoughts are that you deserve a lot of credit for being willing to host such a large group and whatever you do re the turnips is just fine. I'm not a big fan of Dr. Laura but I heard her say this once and I agree with her. She said "Whoever has the responsibility has the power" and that would be YOU. Best, M.
Could they (or your mom) make the turnips ahead of time and just bring them to your house for dinner? I've never had turnips so not sure if they can be made ahead of time and then reheated. If not then I'd probably make the turnips for your dad but I've been known to be a softee!
No, you do not need to make turnips. Your father can make and bring them himself if it's so important that he has them. Make a meal that you and the majority of the guests will enjoy eating.
The only time I think you should cater to your guests' dietary needs is if there are allergies involved or a strong dislike for something (i.e. don't serve all seafood knowing your guest won't eat it), and even then, there are limits to what a guest should ask for.
Just throw them in the microwave with some water, cover with wax paper and see how that turns out. That's about as lazy as I can get. He definitely has ..alls and I think you shouldn't worry your heart about it at all. He sounds selfish. But he's dad. grrr...
I have not read the other responses, so I am not being biased. But I would make the turnips, the best way I could. And complain about it until five seconds before he walked in the door, then smile sweetly! Yes I would be irritated, is he normally a pushy guy? Maybe he just REALLY likes turnips and nobody ever makes them for him.
To keep peace make turnips. DONT make heaps of them, and really I would just do them so terribly that he never asks for them again. It cant be too hard. I usually steam cook mine till soft, mash with butter, salt, and pepper. I dont think you do much else with them. Might be that you do it better and people might start liking them?!!!! Older people and their demands! Should someone demand a food? nope, asking is nicer. Men in particular, that do not cook, just expect things.
I know I'm too late for Christmas, but I just wanted to let you know that I've been arguing with my mother, probably since the day I was born! She'd be the type to tell me what to make for Xmas dinner, and be upset if I wasn't making it.
I just avoid the types of situations where I'd have to talk to her about it. Instead of handling the turnips, I'd have headed it off at the pass and not even been in a position where she'd have an opportunity to tell me. I just change the subject or learn what to say to help her relax about it.
That being said, if my mom requested turnips I'd not only be sure to have them (to shut her up) but I'd name the dish "Turnips a la Mom" and the entire dish would be sitting on her plate, waiting for her come Christmas dinner time. And then we'd probably tease her about it the whole time. We've certainly learned to relax about it as we've all gotten older (my brothers and sisters and I) and we dread the day she's not around to demand...er...request her favorite dishes. In fact, I can see that those dishes will be a part of our meals when she's gone, if only to remember her by.
I'd also like to mention that your dad will never change, so you not making turnips won't change a thing. Might as well make an old man happy on Christmas!
Merry Christmas, hope it was good!
