Would You Attend the Spelling Bee Anyway?

Yes, I would very discreetly attend, even if I was out in the hallway depending on how crowded the audience was to mask my presence so I do not make her nervous, or I sit in the very back rows. Then I would give her some flowers or a treat afterwards.

Let me state, you know your daughter better than me. What I am saying is OUR child rarely made a request like this of us. When she did of course I shared my needs and wants , but told her I would honor her request..

She knew that I would always honor her request. I also would have felt terrible if she found out after not doing well, because maybe I would have had something to do with it (that is how I worry) .

I also always asked if it was ok for me to chaperone her field trips before I volunteered or after I was requested.

I know she would not have been pleased if she found out through the grapevine after all of the discussions and her decision had been made I had gone ahead and gone anyway..

Our daughter just would not be happy with that. We call her "Grandma", because she knows what she wants and we totally honor that. She also does not have regrets about her decisions later. I give her a lot of credit for that and it is a gift she has taught me. She also taught me how to keep a secret. Our daughter can and will keep a secret (unless it is dangerous) forever. She has high standards and I want to live up to them.

ALWAYS follow your own heart and brain.. It will always be your best guide. Then no regrets! Hope she did well! I am anxious to hear the outcome!

No way. Our daughter would have had a fit and never trust me again.
We do not mess with a request like that from our daughter.

I would though send my camera or video camera so someone could capture photos for me.

Go!!! You can sit outside the autitorium and listen. That way you can be there. Also, bring her some flowers to let her know how proud you are! Congratulations to your daughter!!

I think I would try my best to respect her request. After all it's important to her and I wouldn't want her to think a) I didn't value her opinion and thoughts and respect her and b) I ruined her chances of doing well if I showed up and she didn't do so hot.

That said, I would try to come up with a compromise. Ask her point blank if you could go and sneak in the back where she can't see you or ask if you can wait in the hallway until she's done with her first turn to ease her nerves. Express your wish to go for support and pride.

However, if she is adamant about not wanting me there I would respect her not attend. Life is a two way street and part of raising children who are conscious of others feelings and empathetic is showing them what that looks like and treating them that way. If you respect her wishes then you are teaching her that she is important and what she feels is important. Not only that you are setting a great example for when she is a preteen or young adult and she wants to attend a party or something and you ask her not to attend.

Edited to add:
I just read through the other replies I am amazed at how many people said to go ahead and go and then give her a treat afterwards. So basically your saying that it's ok NOT to honor her request as long as you show up with flowers or a treat to take away the sting?
I guess I would put this in perspective that some moms might understand. Imagine that your MIL wanted to attend the birth of your child and wanted to be in the delivery room during or wanted to attend another private important event in your life. You ask her not to attend and she shows up anyways and sneaks in during the final pushing or at another moment when you can't tell her to leave. Then at the end she offered up flowers or other gift. You would still be upset, right?

I know your saying to yourselves, but it's just a spelling bee, it's not the birth of a child however when your in 4th grade a spelling bee is a very important thing in your life and if she is concerned enough to ask you not to attend then I wouldn't just show up. Besides you never know, maybe this is a good time for her to learn that she needs you more than she thought. If you don't go she may wind up missing you and will be sure to ask you to attend events from then on.

I would go. You can blend into the crowd! As long as she doesn't know you're there, she won't be nervous. I remember being in a spelling bee at that age, and it got down to me and two 8th graders (who looked very big and old to me). It was a cold day and the spelling bee was outside. I started shivering and much to my surprise, my grandmother came running up to hand me my sweater! I hadn't known she would be there, but at that moment I was so glad she was - not just because she gave me my sweater, but because I knew someone was rooting for me, standing there between two "big kids!" (By the way, I went on to win the spelling bee!)

So long story short - go see her!

I probably would go--in disguise! LOL

I would go sit outside where I could hear and maybe peek but she wouldn't see me.

If she has already invited the two people allowed I would only go if it was OK with the school. My feelings would be hurt if my child didn't want me to attend a special event. Although some parents put too much pressure on children. I would let my child know the next BEE you want to attend and will sit where she can't see you. I would also let her know that some kids feel more secure when their parents are there for them.

Hope she wins!

Blessings.....

YES!! You can't miss her spelling bee. I would find a way to sneak in. Good luck to her!