Would This Make You Mad? - Detroit,MI

I would not have been mad at all - but that's me - i'm very sarcastic. If my hubby said that to me I'd probably have said back something like - sounds good, then tomorrow it's you and him in the shower so we can watch.

I think that some adult behavior/talk is needed every once in a while. It's nice to make an adult joke when the kids aren't around (or don't understand).

For example, the adults were on the deck talking while the kids were inside and the subject of Ashley Madison came up. So the jokes were going big time about the people who go on there and what you get. It's all fun.

My husband would have probably received a "playful" backhand right then and there. I agree with you: disrespectful, uncomfortable and frankly, skeezy. Yuck.

Agreed- inappropriate, disrespectful and made him look like a big pervert. Who cares that he was joking?

Yes, I would find that rude.

I don't know...it all depends upon the situation....and the people....

My husband has said that to me and my best friend - we've been best friends for 35 years - so really? we laughed and said SURE!!! He got the deer in the headlights look!!

Any way - if you didn't like it, felt uncomfortable, then it was wrong of him to do and he owes you an apology as well as the other girl.

I've had girlfriends' husbands/boyfriends joke and it's been hilariously funny/ a compliment.

I've had girlfriends' husbands/boyfriends joke and it's been pervy/ disrespectful.

Same phrase, different people & / or delivery. I'm just gonna hope that your husband was in the first group!!!

I would have my husband by the BALLS if he had said that; my guy knows better. I would have embarrassed him right back... actually, I probably would have flipped out and embarrassed us both, let's be honest!

If you've told him it was disrespectful and disgusting, drop it... but if he does it again, I wouldn't be so generous to say something about it in private.

ETA, now that I'm really thinking about it, if it had been us and our BFFs, *I* probably would have been the one to joke about the GUYS showering together (we always joke they're gay for each other)... but that's just us, and our normal level of being inappropriate! I still think your man was WAY out of line!!

My issue with that would have been the implication that my husband would like to see/is fantasizing about seeing this other woman naked. And he spoke that out loud. To her. In front of me. That is wrong in so many ways.

I would most likely have made some comment right then and there. Not sure what I would have said, but I would have probably commented on how he made himself look like a complete @ss for saying something so sleezy, and followed it up by telling him that better yet, he and his friend should hop in the shower together so you and girlfriend can watch (just to point out the ridiculousness of what he said...)

This friend and his girlfriend would have to be super close friends of mine, who I am totally comfortable with, and know their sense of humor for me NOT to be totally disgusted with husband about the statement.

I don't think you were ridiculous or dramatic about it at all. He was wrong and doesn't want to acknowledge that he crossed the line with that comment.

*****ETA***** People are MISREADING THIS POST... I believe the husband was talking about watching his WIFE and his friend's GIRLFRIEND in the shower, not his wife and child...

No, personally, I would laugh! Then tell him we're waiting until he leaves ;)

I agree with others who say it depends on how well you all know the friend and her sense of humor..

Even though i laughed when i read that...im glad it wasnt my husband who said it.

I'm with you. My own husband wouldn't say something like that, but if a friend's husband said it to me, he would be PISSED, and he wouldn't keep quiet about it either.

Yes, that was very inappropriate and rude! He not only belittled you but he may have made her uncompfortable as well. You did the right thing in speaking to him in private. Let him know that you would appreciate him not doing this in the future.

For me it depends how well I know the girlfriend. If we are friends and I know her fairly well, then it wouldn't bother me. If I didn't know her at all, I would be upset only because it made hubby like like an idiot and probably embarrased her as well!

You should have followed it up with "Only after you two guys take a bath together!"

If they were good friends who obviously knew he was joking, no it wouldn't. But we are really laid back about raunchy comments like these within our circle of good friends-definitely out of our kids' hearing, of course.

If these were people I didn't know very well, I would probably be embarrassed and more upset about it.

If that were my husband's typical personality, and everyone knew what he was like, then no, I would not be mad. I actually found that statement pretty funny.

Yes, it would. But my husband would never say anything like that...he fears me. Well he doesn't fear me as much as my bat...when he is sleeping.....

Yea I would be upset about that... I like that you waited until later to say something rather than nagging at him right in front of everyone. Was it awkward after he'd said that? I don't think it's an appropriate joke, even if everyone knew it was a joke. Good luck :-)

Yep. He sounded like a big loser creep. Joke or not, he came across as a sleaze. You know, if any man EVER said that about me in my husband's presence...well, I hope no one ever does...it wouldn't be pretty.

It would depend on how good of friends these were. If it was his old high school buddy that is still his best friend then probably not. If it was a co-worker friend then yes it would. There is a time and place for jokes like this one.

How demeaning and immature of him. As if women exist so he can make crude comments like that.

Anger is not bad in itself. I would not be mad at my husband for unintentionally embarrassing me. I would be livid, however, at my husband for dishonoring me with his eyes and thoughts by suggesting he watch another woman shower naked.

Yes this would make me irate(sp). I wouldn't have waited until we were alone to tell him how I felt either. It doesn't matter if everyone knew he was joking or not. Would he have liked it if you told his budddy you wanted to see him naked???Probably not.

For me, it would 100% depends on the people, the friend, how close you are, tons of things...

...but, the real issue here is that he hurt your feelings, you told him, and then he made an excuse for it, totally dismissing your feelings. It wasn't ok with you, so that's the end of it. You don't have to justify why it hurts you, it just does.

His response should have been, "I'm so sorry I embarrassed you and made you feel unloved. Will you please forgive me?"

I have a huge sense of humor and I don't find that funny. He did sound like a pervert and he was very disrespectful to you and the other girl.

The disclaimer of a "joke" doesn't make it all better. Just because someone says "hey, I was only joking", doesn't mean that you have to put up with that. And who bloody cares if *HE* thinks you are overreacting! He "joked" about YOU. If it made YOU uncomfortable, then it's a problem and he owes you an apology!

according to my older son (almost 24yo), two girls are very "hot". He would have appreciated the remark.

I would not. It was juvenile, it was inappropriate...& in no way, a compliment. I would have nailed him to the wall (well, actually Rachel D.s suggestion was better!)...right then & there. It was complete disrepect.

Yep, I would be mad.

I woudl have felt disrespected regardless of the 2 year old comment. My husband says stupid stuff like that all the time.

The 2 year old part makes him look really bad. Hopefully, he was just joking, and being an idiot,and if so, maybe now he is a bit embarrassed. But he sholuld stop being defensive, you are right, and I am sure it made people uncomfortable.

Ummmm . . . YES!

Oh my gosh - I can never imagine my husband saying that!

Does your husband have "filter" issues - i.e., what he thinks in his head comes straight out of his mouth? If so, he needs to work on that. If this was just a weird thing he did I would seriously consider counseling.

Yikes.

Totally inappropriate!

Yes, it would make me really mad and really embarrassed!!!

Yes. It's a bit of a "pervert" remark.

My husband would NEVER say something like that. To ANYone, no matter how old of friends they were. Marriage is sacrosanct and he would never, even jokingly, say something like that. He would be mortified if "I" were to have made a joke like that.

So, yes, I would not only be angry, but dumbfounded.

I've noticed that sometimes guys (and some girls) think it is appropriate to talk like dirty comedians, talk show hosts, or other media personalities, in any setting, no matter who they're with. I'll admit, I'm a fan of Howard Stern, Chris Rock, and others who to most are considered to be foul-mouthed hooligans, but I think there is a time and a place for that kind of talk.
I think it totally depends on your relationship with this couple, their sense/type of humor and how open you all are with one another. Of course if you personally find it to be offensive then it doesn't matter whether or not your friends find it amusing. You said what you had to say and hopefully he will respect your feelings in the future.
Personally I hang out with a lot of ball-busting men and women, so the sarcastic comments are constantly flying, and they are often offensive (but funny). Feelings dont get hurt because we are all on the same page. It sounds like in this scenario that was not the case.

Ewww. How rude of him. I do that with my daughter to save time and because its easier for me but if my husband wants to see me naked there are more appropriate times and I would choke him if he said that in front of other people. Im sorry mama!

.

I hope I would never loose control enough to make this kind of remark, but if all of you were drinking and he had too much to drink, then a remark like this might slip from the mind to the mouth.

Not nice. But if the conversation had been physical or about the physical/sexual side of relationships then this kind of comment could happen, especially if you were at the beach in swimming suits, enjoying too many brews.

Good luck to you and yours.

Just asked my husband if he would say this. He said, 'no, of course not! I won't now anyway.'. It would make me mad.

Nope. My husband would ONLY say this with our extremely close friends.

But then again, I work in a shop full of men... WITH my husband. So I'm not like most women.

i would NEVER want to be alone with your husband. he was being a pervert, insensitve jerk,....
He needs to APOLOGIZE to everyone who was subjected to his sick "humor" and never do it again.

sounds like every man i have in my family. but they have always been a bunch of perverts. :) i would be shocked if my husband said it, but he's a bit on the conservative side when others are around. i think that as long as it WAS a joke, not so much a big deal. if you think he was somewhat serious, i'd probably kick his a$$. also like others said, depends on how your friends took it. if they laughed and let it go, i might let it go, too.

I'm guessing the girlfriend was really uncomfortable too... so innappropriate and juvenile.

I would tell my husband and ask for an apology. I would also ask him to apologize to his friend for implying something/anything about the girlfriend.

Maybe his comment was in response to yours. Personally I don't think it was any more appropriate mentioning throwing your 2 y/o in the shower with you. Your husband's comment may have been 'answering' that. Tit for tat in other words.
I don't think his comment was in good taste either for that matter. I'd be wondering if he really did have kinky tastes.

It's no one's business about one's shower habits. I would suggest just get over this and be a little more discreet about what you both say, content-wise.

I think it would've creeped me out a bit, not to mention how it made your friend feel. He needs to have a "talking to" about boundaries with certain subjects. I understand he was trying to be funny, but in my opinion, he crossed a line. Calmly talk to him about it and ask him how he thinks the comment made your friend feel - did she laugh or look at him like he is a perv? If a friend's husband said that to his wife and me, I'd never feel comfortable again being in the same room with him. Just something to consider...

OMG! I'd be sooo embarrassed! I probably would have yelled at him right there.

Was he talking about you and your daughter OR you and your friends girlfriend? I'd call him a sicko if he meant with your daughter and punch him in the arm and laugh if he meant the girlfriend.

Could saying you showered with your two-year-old have embarrassed him? Maybe he reacted to that.

it depends on your relationship, obviously this humor isn't your forte so yea you have a right to be hurt and not mad, and explain it to him and he should understnad...sometimes guys need things related to them, ask if he had a hot guy friend and you asked to see him naked in a joking way if he;d be offended...maybe he'll understnad if you give him a relasitc scenario that could happen the other way? ...it also depends on the sense of humr of the people you were with...it also depends on if he has a crush on the girl...would you have been mad if it was an unattractive girl?

Oh my, yes----that would make me mad because he sounds like a big sicko pervert!!! How embarrassing for you!!!! SO sorry he did this! And no, not everyone thinks that sort of thing is funny. Its one thing to make a joke about watching your WIFE in the shower, but another totally inapropriate thing to talk about your CHILD and your WIFE together. That is just wrong. So, you are completely right to feel angry and disrespected. Tell him how you really feel. GL

M

Yes, that is completely inappropriate and I would not tolerate it from my husband. If my friend's husband said that to me I would never go near them again!

Your husband's defensiveness on this topic would be a whole different issue.

Best wishes!

Yes it would. That was very inappropriate.

yes it would make me mad and the other girl mad and her boyfriend mad. but guys are infantile jerks and everyone knows that. so, don't lose sleep over it. you told him privately how you felt, so hopefully he will show more tact next time. I like Mommyof1s response. Sometimes all you can do is laugh it off and change the subject. Make the offensive one feel dumb by turning his joke around on himself.

Yes, it would make me very mad and I would have called him out on it publicly. However, I know plenty of guys who would say similar things about two women showering together. A bunch of pervs, most men I know are very respectful though.

Yes, that would make me mad. It's inappropriate and sleazy for a married man to say such a thing:( I feel for you because my husband has a tendency to say inappropriate things. So, I don't take him with me when I go to my friends house because he doesn't know when to shut up.

I wouldn't be mad, but unless the couple were very close friends I might be a little embarrassed.