I live out of state from my family. Since I stopped working five and a half years ago, the people I use to know got scarce, and became non existant. I didn't grow up here, so basically when I was single, my main social environment was at work. I loved it then. I did have a few outside of work, but more less one stuck around and he's a guy. LOL He's a bit scarce now too.
I know a couple of Mom's, but not close to them. That's only because I haven't known them for very long. My best friend lives in California, so it basically leaves just me.
If I throw my own Baby Shower, it will probably be just a few gals that may come over. I'm not a party thrower at all, and the last couple times I tried to organize one, it didn't work out. So I'm a bit hesitant. I just don't know. For my first born, my mother and sister threw me a baby shower, and I explicitly told them not to because I wouldn't be able to be there. They live in New Mexico, and they threw it when I was eight months pregnant. There was no way for me to be there. They threw it anyway. So, I have a few pictures in my son's baby book with just the people who showed up, and no mommy to be in the pictures. Kind of sad. That's why I didn't want them to throw it. I couldn't be there to enjoy it, and I wouldn't be in the pictures.
Anyway, I'm wondering if I should throw my own since I know the few gals I do know, probably won't since they don't know me very well. And that's perfectly fine. (It is so hard being so far away from family). I've gone to Baby Showers, and I have always wanted one. I'm just thinking a small simple one would be good. But would it be out of place if I threw my own party???
What is your thought on this?
OK, I have decided NOT to go ahead and throw one myself. I did think it was a bit weird and ya'll just confirmed my feelings on it. LOL That's ok though because the best part will be coming from this whole thing and that is my son who will be born on July 31st via C-Section. :-) I cannot wait to hear his little voice, and to love on him, and enjoy the rest of my life with him and my family! I will celebrate his coming after we deliver with family that will be here during that time, and friends/aquaintences. :-)
Thank you to all you generous Moms out there who extended their kind words in their answers. :-) I appreciate you all!
Blessings to each and every one of you and your families!!!
G.-
I would suggest going ahead and throwing a party....I waited to see, with all 3 of my children, and to this day, have not had a baby shower! So if it is looking like noone is, then you should!
D.
I don't think it is weird to throw your own baby shower (I do think it is weird that your mom and sister threw one for you without you there...that made me giggle).
Anyway, I would totally do this! As a matter of fact we did with our second child...instead of waiting for a casual girlfriend to offer (best friend lives out of state) we threw a co-ed baby shower for several couples we know and had a blast! It was more of a dinner party with gifts but great fun none-the-less.
I didn't have a shower with my third or fourth but threw large parties afterward so everyone could meet the baby at once rather than dropping by one by one.
Don't feel akward. You and your baby deserve to be pampered. I'm just sorry that no one has stepped up to do this for you, but in todays economy a lot of people can't neccessarily afford to throw a party for someone, which may be why no one has offered just yet.
I know being a SAHM can feel isolating sometimes especialy when you look around and realize you haven't made time to really get close to any friends..but it will come again...pretty soon your social world opens up again as your children start school, join sports, take classes and you make nice with the other parents. We've made wonderful friends that way.
Do it and don't feel shy about it! Celebrate your baby and your pregnacy and if you need another guest invite me! Seriously I would come in a second (provided you are in Arizona). Best wishes for your last weeks of gestation!
G.,
I think your mom and sister had good intentions, but BAD timing! I hope they sent you all the gifts!
It sounds a little strange and in poor etiquette to throw yourself a shower, sorry to say. Why would you want to throw a shower for yourself when you don't think anyone will come? You are just setting yourself up for disappointment! I don't understand why you don't have any friends either, if you have lived her over 5-1/2 years?? To have friends, you have to first be a friend.
Maybe your best friend in California could fly into town and host a shower for you at your home. That would be an ideal situation. Have you asked her opinion?
Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
I have had friends that have done this and it went fine. They like to have control so that was their issue not because they did not have a net-work of friends. there was a helper so maybe if someone asks, you could asign them a job. My friend did it at a lunch restraunt and was open to treat everyone lunch. A place like Paradise Bakery or Mimi's. She simply said, come celebrate my baby with me.
Putting it on a evite is less hassle and really more like a moms day out. If they bring gifts, great, if not...then maybe that is OKAY with you. I would not look at it as a traditional idea with games, party goods, lots of food. This could be a great way to get your friends to know you on a low key basis and just celebrate. Then when you have made this move, the mommies may sure start a meal support for you when the baby arrives. Or we can pray they do.
Good luck.
Dear G.,
Sorry you do not have even a few close enough friends to do a shower. The whole point of a shower is to enjoy the time with other folks, esp women/girlfriends..but I have been at showers where husband was there and a lot of guy friends.
What is it you feel you are missing out on?...the female friendship, the party, the tradition involved?
Maybe just your husband and you could celebrate in some special way and drop the idea of a shower. Find some way to fill the emptiness or become introspective about it and decide if it is really so important and why.
About your mom and sis throwing the baby shower when you could not come...well, it just sounds like they were itching for any excuse to throw a party. Maybe it's about the baby...but who knows. I might just be glad that your mom and sis know how to make themselves happy. There are a lot of people who don't. Try not to take it too personally. Maybe they could have re-named the party something else...instead of "baby shower", for all that it implies.
There really are a whole lot of traditions people try to keep that do not seem to be fitting our fractured modern life-style. All the china and fancy stuff we feel compelled to get at weddings...how often does that big-time entertaining happen for those remnants of us in the strained middle-class?? I'd sell my fine stainless if I thought I'd get a good price now. NOT.
Good luck in doing what you feel is best for you!
Well I'm not sure how to respond to this. I think if I were a friend of yours I would think this was weird and probably feel sorry for you but I would still go and bring you a gift. And if I were in a better position I would throw you one myself even though I do not know you. But right now I am staying at a friends house and really do not have the funds for it. But hey for anyone reading this if you have the place I can help with food. And though I can not purchase a gift for you I do have baby stuff I can donate. So yeah if some other Moms out there want to plan this just contact me on here and we can get this ball rolling.
And COngratulations!!! ;0)
I think it would be great! You could have a casual get together with friends to celebrate your new baby! Have some snacks and drinks at your house, or make it tea party style, or invite them to a restaurant. That would be much more fun than a shower you couldn't even go to. Have fun!!!
We had moved here from out of state too. I had some friends from work, but not close ones that I hung out with. They threw me a shower at work before I had the baby. I stayed home after that and it was difficult making friends, so I can relate to that. I didn't have a shower for my second one. Many people don't have showers for the second child. Personally, I think it would seem odd to throw your own shower. Would your mom come over from New Mexico to throw one for you at your place ?
