Would I Be Crazy to Quit and Stay Home?

Logically, it might be "crazy", but emotionally it might be a very sane move. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I think that he could lose his job tomorrow, you could too. If you can wait until you have a full years finances in the bank then I would say quit and have no negative worries or thoughts. But staying at work is not a bad thing.

A B.,
I would follow my heart. But, I'm also practical enough to know that you need to pay the bills.

I was very fortunate to be a SAHM when my kids were young. By the time they were teens, I had a life changing event and had to work. It didn't take me long to realize I hated working a job. I started my own home business and never looked back. I work with a large corporation - Mostly on the phone and the Internet. It allows me to pay the bills while also taking care of mom, who's no longer independent. Maybe that's an option for you?

~M.

Okay...you said you would have to pick up side work on the nights and weekends to make this doable......so really what is the difference? I would keep your great set-up and focus your evenings and weekends on your daughter. A pension plan is not worth leaving, in my opinion.

I would strongly recommend, saving your income right now and living off of hubbies only for at least 1 whole year befor making your exodus.

This will give you some cushion for accidentals along the way.Tie this into paying down or off any debt you have.

I foolishly left a great job to be home with my son and it cost the family much. My son would have been just fine if I had confinued to work. My personal wages suffered tremendously and hasn't recovered but I do have other streams of income from that experience and some others.

This is the best advice I can give you. Ultimately the decision is yours and hind sight is 20/20.

I haven't read any of the other answers (I'm currrious to see if they agree).

First, most importantly, do you have a minimum of 6 months of expenses and an emergency fund (unforseen large repairs or medical expense) saved up. If the answer is no, then don't even think about it.

Second, prove to yourselves that you can live on hubby's salary alone. From you paycheck pay the day care and put the rest in the bank. If you're good for 9 months then, I'd quit.

If I was in your position, no way would I even consider leaving a cushy job in this economy. Maybe in another year, it would be worth considering.

Perhaps compromise? Keep going for 6 months, but live on your hubby's salary only. Sock away all of yours. Then re-evaluate at the 6 month mark and see what you want to do. You could also use the time to lay some groundwork for the side work so that it's established or as close as you can get to that. Good luck!

Why do you think it's crazy to want to spend time with YOUR child? I'm not sure what kind of job your husband has, but my husband is in the military and their salary isn't known for being high (he's been in for 3 years now and is almost at the pay he was at at his job before he enlisted). We have 4 kids and I stay home. We are frugal, but no one in my family goes without anything they need and for the most part, want My kids are young and as they get more involved in activities, we aren't able to save as much, but we still live comfortably. We also did Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover 2 years ago and are debt free (besides or mortgage) and that helps a lot.

I agree that you should stay at your job and live off of your husband's salary only for awhile (maybe not a whole year as another mom suggested), but at least 4 or 5 months. Do not touch your money at all - except for daycare costs and see how you do. You might find that it's too much of a strain, or you might find that you can live with less. At least you'll know for sure and won't be second guessing yourself either way - plus you'll have a nice tidy sum in the bank.

Good luck!

Keep the JOB! you are very lucky. If you feeling guilty about not being wioth your little one use some of the $ you make to put in a college fund for her. That way the $ you are making is going to her. DON'T QUIT!

Personally? I'd quit in a heartbeat if it were doable for us.

Funny how answers to this almost come down to 50/50 every time. I've debated this for years... I will say that I absolutely do not regret continuing to work. We're ok financially but stuff happens. I see it with other families ALL THE TIME. I always encourage women in this dilemma to read "The Feminine Mistake". Not that it is a mistake to stay home but the book did a lot of research re: pros and cons and has lots of facts etc. Having said all this, I likely will stay home pretty soon. My daughters are 5 and 6.5 and I think it's more important I'm home soon than it was when they were really young. My sister has 3 older kids and she always counseled me to work while I can (she's always been a SAHM with plenty of money). Kids are going to remember if you were home or not when they're older than 2, 3 or 4 years and the guidance you'll need to give them as they're older with more complex problems and values to learn becomes even more important in my opinion.

Look at it this way-a job is replaceable but your daughter's childhood is not. You have such a small window with her as a child. In 3 years she will be in Kindergarten and then the real seperation begins where each year they grow more independent of us. So my advice is to quit-you will not regret it. And keep in touch with your coworkers and industry contacts so that when you do want to re-enter you have people that you can call.

I wish I had a job here myself. I say keep working you never know what the future will hold. A few years ago both me and my other half had jobs then due to health issues we both had to stop working, Having an extra cushion is a good thing. plus all the extras you have is a huge blessing. With so many out of work these days if you leave this you may not find another or find the cost of childcare to cost more than what you will make

Can you take an unpaid leave of absence for a few months? Give it a test-run? If you love it, great; if you decide you'll both benefit from mornings/nights/weekends, then your job, paycheck and pension plan are still there for you.

It's obvious that the perks of your job do not match up to the perks of being with your child. You're in a position to follow your hearts desire. Get to it, woman! Run!

I say stay put-BUT I totally get it. But here is why...right now it does totally SUCK being away from your DD..but she is getting older and soon she will love being there more then not.

Seriously-our son is 3 1/2 and only goes 3 days a week, but we are considering 4 days or maybe 5..something I swore I would never do-but he loves the kids/interactions/etc...so much of what he wouldn't get at home with me. He asked me the other day if he could go to school 'all days"...his other days are spent w/ Gma and I think he's bored now.

Plus it makes me look forward to the evenings and our time together too. Yea-I miss my kids all day/everyday, but I know they are happy, (16mo DD is w/ gma), and well taken care of so it's worth the trade off.

If we were in a stable economy, and things would be better than "tight" for you, then I would tell you to stay at home. I did the same thing you did 2.5 years ago - left a very cushy job with great benefits to stay home & at the time DH's job was steady, too & more than paid the bills. Fast forward to now & I regret quitting.

I love the time with my daughter, but right now we need money to live off of & benefits. I am trying to find a job now that DD will be in Kindergarten soon & I can't get a call back to save my life. Meanwhile, DH is still employed, but his work has gone down at least 50%.

Nothing in this economy is really stable or guaranteed. It sounds like you have a dream job, a job that will get filled quickly & that you won't be able to get back should something happen with your DH's job.

Being a SAHM is less enjoyable when you are worried about money 24/7, while trying to keep a child happy & entertained on little to no money and keep yourself & your DH happy as well. Plus, there is no guarantee that you will even enjoy being a SAHM. Just because you're a mom, doesn't mean you will automatically enjoy it.

Do you have savings? What if your DH were to lose his job? Have his workload/paycheck decrease? How much debt do you have? These are all things you need to think about.

A question I would ask is, is it a good daycare and is your daughter mostly happy there? If so, I would not leave your position, sounds like you have an excellent setup. You have a short commute and don't have to add extra miles picking up your daughter from daycare, that allows more family time. You said things would be financially tight, are you prepared to live on a restricted budget?

I had a setup like you, great job and great daycare that my son loved, we moved because my husband got a promotion, that's why I left my job and am now a SAHM. I enjoy it but I honestly spend a lot of time trying to schedule play dates and such because he's so social, I feel bad at times that he doesn't have the same social atmosphere he had at daycare. We get all the bills paid but do stress a little bit more now. Every parent and child is different but if it were me, I'd keep the job. Just do in your heart what you know is the right thing for your family. Goodluck!

It's a love/hate relationship being a SAHM.....

I've done both sides. Right now - I'm a SAHM...my boys are in school during the day - I don't have a 2 year old anymore.....so I know how tough that is - you are missing out on so much....

the fact that you have on-site care and a pension plan - I would stick with it a few more years - taking all of my paycheck and sinking into debt or savings.....try it for six months - living off his salary only - putting 100% of your paycheck into a savings account...no kidding...no joke...if you have to break into that account JUST ONCE - you cannot afford to do it one salary yet.....yes, I realize that you won't be paying daycare when you are not employed - but the fact remains that stuff happens - you need to be prepared for that and if you can't go six months without dipping into your salary - you can't be a SAHM...

Start a plan...start using coupons, start cutting back..research play groups and other avenues of things to do with your daughter when you do stay home...expectations from your husband, yourself, etc.....get it all clear but there are a lot of misconceptions about being a SAHM...we just sit around eating bon-bons all day....there's a LOT that goes on...be prepared for that as well....dry cleaning, house cleaning, chores, etc....expectations change when one is "home all day"....

GOOD LUCK!!

Hello! I say go with what you think is good & works for your family, you can get as many answers as you want but in the end, you have to make the decision for YOUR family. What works for someone else may not work for you. Go with your instinct. I am a SAHM for 11 years now & have taking for granted that I am able to stay home, yes they are young only once but then again you may not enjoy it and then will question if you want to do it full-time, either way only you know what is best and your kids, they will love you either way.

It's a tough decision. I went through something very similar 2 years ago. I took a year off from teaching to raise my then 1year old twins. After the year was up and I had to give them an answer about whether or not I was coming back... I panicked. I even turned here to MP for some insight!!! My husband told me to stay home, but I was too scared to leave my cush job too. It is part time with full time benefits and a ten minute commute. In the end my head (stupid head) told me to go back. My heart begged me not to but I too was afraid in "this economy" to give up what I had. I can only tell you this. I wish that I had listened to my heart!!! I really do. I regret going back to work and I know I would have never regretted staying home. Most days aren't that bad and I go to work and get through it but I have to say if I had to work full time I (personally) would not be able to do it. If you can really do it, then DO IT!!! I am still thinking about other options so that I can spend more time with my kids who are now 4! Ewww...one more year home and then KINDERGARTEN. I hate it :(
I can not tell you what to do, but can only tell you about my own experience. If your husband supports that decision and you can do it without sacrificing to the point that you will regret your decision than in my opinion I say go for it...I wish I did. Best of luck, I hope you make whatever decision is best for you and your heart ;)

Does your company offer a leave of absence or sabbatical option? This may give you the time off you're craving without completely quitting. Talk to HR and see what your options are. I don't think it's crazy to quit if you really want to. You can always make money later, but your daughter will only be little now. :)
Another idea is to see if your company offers a work-share program. That's where two people split one position, each doing it part time. Not many jobs can do that, but maybe it's an option.
With that said, as a SAHM, do you feel like she's kind of driving you crazy by Sun night after a whole weekend home w/her? I know I def long for some adult conversation and miss working (not that I'd change it). Are you sure you're not romanticizing what it would be like to take care of her 24/7? It's SO not glamorous and as much as I love my son, there are many days when I can tell the whole day is going to suck from the moment he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. :\ Also, would you continue to keep her in part time daycare for social reasons? Then you won't get as much time w/her than you think you may.
Sorry if this adds more confusion, whatever you decide will be perfect for your family! :) Best of luck!

All the pension plans in the world does not compensatebfor having someone raise my child for 8 hours a day. You will never regret the extra time you spend with your child.

Stay home! It sounds like it'll make you happy (if you were one to hate being a SAHM then I wouldn't suggest that), but no one can replace you in the role of being the momma. It sounds like you're considering continuing working for the money part of it (which is SUPER nice), but you can't get back the time with your son. I choose to stay home because I would be miserable working (solely due to having children. otherwise i love it) and I want to be the one raising my children 100% of the time (excluding if someone else is watching them, of course). But I find it very fulfilling. My hubby is in a similar role as yours. He provides all the insurance, savings, money, everything - I have full say in it, of course. It would certainly be easier financially if I worked a well paying job, but emotionally I would regret it. I know others feel differently, but that's how I feel. My husband does too. He doesn't want anyone else raising our children than one of us. He's had to pick up extra work at times to make it work.

I guess it depends on YOUR priorities. Some people it's important to work. Others not so much. I would suggest digging deep and following your conscience. Good luck!

I think not. Why would you leave a great job when you will only be with your daughter for 2.5-3 yrs and then she will go to school. Look at the long term goal, not the short one. Staying home you still need lots of money to actually keep her entertained and busy.

How could we say you would be crazy for doing something you would enjoy! and esp. if it would not affect your household in a major way.
I would stay on the job for several months and bank a cushion for my family. Have a plan and do what is best for u and yours.

I think it depends. I quit my job 7 yrs ago after I had my first child. Husband has a job that it's easy to get fired from, he has awesome benefits and a pension plan. My job had great benefits a good pay for the area, wonderful advancement opportunities, and a pension. I miss working. But I would miss my kids even more if I went back to work. I did work at home for a bit for westathome.com, but with my husbands schedule that didn't work out. i miss having my own money to spend on what i want to, and having to wait to get things that are needed. we have money in the bank, and we save our income tax return every year for emergencies. we don't WANT for anything and we have everything we NEED. and the kids love having me home.

I think you don't know what you've got til it's gone. Keep the job, at least for a little while. If you can make it without the income, start putting it into a savings account. If something happens to your husband's job you will be kicking yourself.

Your child is only young once! I say if its doable then go for it stay home with her you can always go back to work when she starts school!

I wish I had the money to be a stay at home mom. Maybe look around for a partime job twice a week where you can still let your child experience other kids in a preschool setting and you have a little extra play money.

Maybe try to find a part time job and a teen can babysit your child in your home. If YOU think you can handle then do it! Maybe you can try something a little different like doing passion parties or selling Avon or Mary Kay. Just some ideas for you.

I would keep working for the next 6 months. only live off your husband's paycheck and save your's (aside from paying day care costs). 1. you build up savings for "what ifs" and 2. you truely see if you can survive off one income. if you give yourself the 6 month goal, you also have something to look forward to and maybe it wont be so bad in the long run to keep working for that amt of time. You'll know at the end you can be with your daughter more.

You will never regret having that time with your little girl. She will only be this young once. The day will come all too soon that she won't scream "Mommy!" and run into your arms anymore. If you can afford it and your husband is on board, give your best to your daughter. Stay home with her.

You're saying it would be tight and would need to get side work anyway. So why quit. Good jobs are not that easy to come by. And with a child expenses only grow bigger. Plus, you've got it easier than most with an on site daycare. Unless any of this changes, i recommend you stay. If visiting with her at luchtime disturbs her so much, don't stop by. Better call and ask how she's doing and pick her when you leave for home.

For 3 months take everything you earn and put it in savings- do not touch a dime of your paycheck- then evaluate if you can really live on that budget.

While your child is 2 you may be missing them immensely- however better for you to sacrifice the time now while a toddler so you can be a SAHM when she's 10 and really needs her mom there 24-7 to help make life's really important choices. If your working now can put you in a position when you'll absolutely never have to work again- all the better.

I had a nice government job.. pension.. healthcare.. I begged and pleaded for part time after the first child.. They granted me 4 days 8 hours per day. Which is more than I wanted to work. I continued part time till my second child was born then I quit. Home full time with a newborn and and 18 month old.. I am a very social person and being home full time was hard for me. I felt socially isolated.. and exhausted with the needs of an infant and a toddler.. BUT I do not regret quitting one tiny bit.. I am absolutely sure that I made the right choice to quit.

When my youngest child was 23 months I was offered a part time contractg job for the same office. I jumped at the chance.. I loved going to work 2 days per week 7 hour days.. It made me happy to see adults and eat lunch with big people. Recently the contract ran out of money so I am home full time again and adjusting to the 24 -7 demands of a 4 year old and a 5 year old.

So .. I say quit.. stay home for a while.. in a year or so see if you can find a nice part time job somewhere. Being home is not easy it is just another kind of hard.

If your daughter is in a good quality daycare then it may be giving her a lot of social and educational stimulation. I am a SAHM and am getting ready to start my 2.5 year old DD in preschool a few half days (and hopefully get back to work part time). My son is 5 and heading to Kindergarten in the fall. He got so much from the 2 years of preschool that it would have been hard for me to duplicate at home. I am well educated and have worked with kids in other settings--but it hard for me to be as motivated and structured as the preschool teachers. On the other hand if you feel strongly about wanting more time with your DD you still need to make the best decision for your and your family.

Well, you can never get this time back. And yet, yes it seems crazy. Sometimes the right thing to do does seem real crazy. How would you feel about picking up work nights and weekends? I am a homebody anyway. But at night I'm pretty much worthless and would hate leaving the house.

Do you like running down bargains? Do you like baking, planting gardens, and generally looking for ways to "earn your keep" and make his paycheck STRETCH?

If you are sad about being apart then I'd say go for it. I know it would stink to give that up but you'd have quality time with your toddler. Can you take vacation for a week and see how you would like staying home full time? Just an extra precaution so you don't quit and then are so stressed out and wished you hadn't. On-site daycare is awesome, wish the college had quality on-site daycare :) But you being the daycare would be better than on-site daycare hehe.
If stay at home moms/dad were financially supported and there was a program where you could get paid reasonably to be a stay at home mom/dad I'd do it (I'm a single parent so I have to work).

I think you'd be crazy not to. What a great opportunity to bond with your child and make some good memories.

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