No Motivation at Work

Updated on October 07, 2011
B.L. asks from Auberry, CA
12 answers

I've had this same job and am so bored at it. I so want to quit and be a stay at home mom. Does anyone else have trouble concentrating at work? I feel guilty at the end of the day since I don't get much done lately. I need to get back that motivation and be a productive worker! Maybe I need a career change... I know this sounds bad because there are lots of people who lost their job but I'm just hoping to get laid off! I would get a severence and then my husband can't get mad at me since it's not my fault. I think we could live off his salary if we really tried but he doesn't agree and wants me to keep working. I feel like my soul is deteriorating in this job...!

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So What Happened?

I am glad I am not the only one and I know it's part of now being a parent. I know our family expenditures as I take care of all the bills. Yes, we do spend all my husband's and a good chunk of my income each month. When we are really frugile and don't have any unncessary expenses in a month then we actually are able to save my entire salary excluding the part that we pay for childcare. If I were to be a SAHM, I know I would have to watch every penny I spend. That would mean clipping coupons, no eating out, shopping only for necessities... We also wouldn't be able to put money into savings... I know we should have 6-9 month emergency fund. I am going to start living like I'm a SAHM and live off my husband's salary and save mine. That way, we could build up our emergency fund and maybe at that point my husband would be okay if I were to be a SAHM. But my kids are only getting older! By that point they will be close to being in school and then I know my husband would say "well you might as well keep working now"!!!! The part time option would be perfect but it's so hard to find!

More Answers

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T.S.

answers from Boston on

A couple of hours later: Just saw the funniest thing on the Onion that I thought would be helpful for you: Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-working-at-w...

Hi B.,
Well, if this is an indication, I'm responding to you from work! And I can totally relate to the feelings of guilt about not working hard enough. Add to them the feelings of guilt about not being a good enough Mom because I'm working and it's a recipe for guilt disaster! I did take about 2 years off as a stay-at-home mom and I will tell you I also spent that whole time thinking I should be working, and convinced it actually was not that healthy for me (feeling aimless, lonely, easily irritated) or them (VERY dependent, not a lot of new experiences, etc). It's the tough spot Moms are in I think - you almost can't win! But thinking about it and thinking about alternatives is a sign of life and growth and ultimately we will end up in the right spot. Have you ever looked at Mom Corps for a possible change to a part time position? Good luck and do your best. There are many of us feeling the same way!

3 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

not to be glib, but do you need some time off? Like more than a day, if you can swing it.
When I lose my motivation, I look at the calendar and realize, it has usually been a while since I have had some serious time off:) If that is not the case - test out the finances. . .
In terms of being a SAHM, ask your husband to do a six month experiment. Put all your paycheck into savings (maybe minus what you pay for child care and gas/work expenses that you have to cover now, but wouldn't need to cover if a SAHM). Ask him if you all can try to live off one salary for six months and if you can do it successfully, you have your answer - also be sure to factor in any rise in costs if changes in health insurance premiums, etc. . .
Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There is nothing worse than feeling like you're wasting away at work. Let's face it, we spend more waking hours at our jobs every week than we do at home! Is there any way you can go part time?

1 mom found this helpful

N.N.

answers from Detroit on

OMG we have the exact same feeling to a T! I am at work now.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Chico on

Hey, i have a job like that! :-) You aren't alone. Honestly, I just wanted to give you a little support because I, like you, want to quit but can't. We did the math and it would just be too destructive financially. In this economy, quitting a job isn't smart. You may not get another one no matter how talented you are. I think you should look at what you wish you could be doing and see if you can make that happen. You want to stay at home. . . how about an in home day care? I personally couldn't do it (love my own kids but the thought of being surrounded by 2 year olds all day. . . aaaargggghhh!) but if you are cut out for it, what a great way to bring in an extra $2-4000 per month..

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I feel exactly the same way. All I can do at work (I work two days/week as a speech therapist in an elementary school) is think about the educational materials I would rather be using with my own kids! Or I get distracted when my screen saver comes on and flips through photos of my kids. It's terrible! My heart is so not in my paycheck-job right now at this stage of life. We need my salary though. :-( It's good that our hearts are at home--that's where they should be!! It's our primary job right now to raise our own kids, not have someone else do it for us. I don't work full time, so for that, I am thankful. I'm counting my blessings for now.

Feeling your pain,
A.

1 mom found this helpful

✿.R.

answers from Boston on

You can have the best of both worlds. It sounds like your job just doesn't challenge you anymore. I am very lucky in that I get to stay home with my kids but I too felt that I need to contribute more to the household income. I also needed adult time. :)
I opened internet franchises. It was the best thing I have ever done. It's been 4.5 years now. I work around my family's schedules, bring in good money and totally have a blast at work.
I don't know if it's something that would be a fit for you but I do webinars on a regular basis. You can always watch one to see if it's something that would interest you.
Theresa,
I love that you are answering from work. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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W.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I feel your pain. It is not an easy decision to make. I wish I can be a stay at home mom in fact I really want to have another kid but unfortunately, I make more than my husband and I would need to work. Perhaps you can talk to your boss and try to work from form 1 day a week maybe that will help motivate you since you can spend some extra time at home.

Good luck,
W.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I am a SAHM..have been ever since our first kiddo was born. But it was a decision talked about when I was dating my husband...long before kids came along. We always knew we both valued Mom being home to nurture the kids and to make sure the home was running efficiently.

I think it would be a VERY hard decision to make once kids come along and you are used to 2 incomes to then make a game change. My heart aches for mommas that so desperately want to be mommying full time and taking care of majority of things pertaining to the home. I can't even comprehend the stress and guilt and sadness so many mommas feel. I really feel for you.

In our relationship we always lived as if we only had one income so that when it actually happened it wouldn't be such a drastic change. We had quite the savings set up and qualified for a home mortgage only with my husband's income. The realtor tried to have us push for the max but we stated our plan...and we were gonna stick to it. It has paid off tremendously for us to have lived so frugally then.

If I were in your situation I would have a real heart to heart with hubby. I would let him know I understood the fears and let him know I would do everything possible to manage the money efficiently.

Find other mamas who have taken the leap and quit work and are making it. Find out how they did it.

I hope for the best for you and your family. Time is something you can never get back. You are paying big bucks for someone else to take care of your kids and you want so much to do it yourself. Find ways to make it happen...convincing your spouse is priority numero uno!!

Good luck and best wishes!!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Redding on

Just want to say that you are not alone. All of us working moms feel the same at one time or another. Luckily I have a good job that I enjoy...but I am still torn to be a SAHM at times. Unfortunatly I make double what my hubby makes so ME staying home is NOT an option...so I just keep truckin' and try to make the best of what we have. (yes at times this envolves teary eyed daycare dropoffs and "low" days at work at times!) But Life is too short to dwell and you really just need to focus and enjoy what you have. Sounds to me like life isn't so bad for you, you are just bored and torn...maybe take a few days off, or even a week to be able to get your head back in the game. Good luck, and you are so NOT alone : - )

1 mom found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I feel the same way! But I want to work, just at doing something that I actually enjoy.

Nicole R. - can we get more info on your webinars?

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I hope you get what you want.

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