Would a Lawyer Say That???

Maybe--but it's probably a pay her now or pay her later scenario. Most likely he will have to pay back support for all of the time he hasn't paid.

O. thing is for certain, only an a$$ of a man would deny support for his own child.

No, withholding visitation is a very bad idea. First off because the court will likely order him to pay back-support when it's time for him to officially start paying. You might even be able to have his wages garnished.

Secondly, that money belongs to your daughter, not you, and he wouldn't be paying you for the privilege of seeing his daughter. He is her parent and therefore he has the RIGHT to see her whether he's paying child support or not. He can be a good parent even if he's not paying child support, such as if the two of you agreed to split everything 50/50 in regard to her care. A lot of women see child support as if it's alimony. It's not.

Thirdly, withholding visitation wouldn't just be punishing him for not paying the child support on your time table. It would be punishing your child, especially if they want to spend time together. We hear all too often of men who want nothing to do with spending time with their children after a split with their wives/girlfriends/affairs/one night stands but if you have a man here who wants to spend time with his child even if he's not currently paying child support, then that's a lucky child. He's just listening to his lawyer's advice, which will catch up with him in court.

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If you do not have court ordered support that is the advice an attorney will give. In court the judge will decide what amount the support will be and he will owe you back support.

So far as your question about visitation I don't know, ask your attorney.

Thing about back support, your child will still get it in the end, exactly how does your child get back visitation?

If there is no court order and no account at a local court depository, it is a CYA move. That way there is no disputing later that he didn't pay, even if he did. Yes, some folks will later say "what money? He didn't give me any child support money." So, if he doesn't and you say that, then it would be true and he doesnt get screwed. Or you can't say it was for something other than child support.
The lawyer's job is to protect his/her client. This protects his client from not having proof that he paid child support, because frankly, a lot of folks are not too bright and would give the money and not have any sort of accurate or valid documentation for later. Or if he were to send you money, and there isn't an ordered amount already in place (by a court order), and the court awards an amount less than what he were to give you now, then how would he get the difference back? Do you really think the court is going to start off a court ordered child support award by saying "oh but he has a credit of $______ before he starts having to make any payments" ??
I've never seen that.

EDITED: I wasn't sure if this was you before I responded but then I checked your profile...I doubt that this guy is even talking to a lawyer and that he's just saying that to put you off. With such a young child and him being gone for months at a time, then yeah I think it's totally reasonable to restrict visits until you have a court order that sorts this all out. Have you started the child support process? Or his he still just leaving you hanging and threatening custody to get you off of his back for child support? Do you have a court date and someone at child support enforcement who you're working with? If you haven't started the process yet, don't wait for him to blindside you - call your local child support office and start the paperwork. Good luck!

ORIGINAL:
Assuming that you don't already have an order in place with wage garnishment, then the advice makes sense because he doesn't know how much he is supposed to pay and has no bullet proof way to prove that he paid you (even if he gave you checks or money orders instead of cash, you could claim that they were gifts or money he owed you for a past debt, etc.). But this probably means that you don't have a visitation agreement in place, right? In that case, I would be reasonable with visitation but wouldn't go out of my way to facilitate this. If your baby is an infant and he isn't equipped to handle an infant for a long period of time then I would put the kibosh on anything overnight for now and would limit visits to short periods of time and only if/when you feel he actually knows how to handle a baby.

To my knowledge and in my experience, support orders ARE NOT retroactive, so don't count on getting back support from birth. When it's established it will more likely than not be on a go-forward basis. Both my husband and I had children before marriage and we both went through child support and neither my order to be paid nor his to pay went back beyond the date that we finally got to court, when our babies were several months old. Nor has either order been modified retroactively for increases or decreases. I know you didn't ask this, but several responses are making this assumption and my understanding is that the inability to retroactively change support orders is a federal thing and consistent among states to ensure consistent orders.

Well, unfortunately, visitation has absolutely nothing to do with child support. If you have an order for visitation, you must let him see the child or be in contempt.
If you don't have an order for support yet, it's possible his attorney told him he is not compelled to pay any support, which would be really crappy, but then, I've seen attorneys pull some pretty crappy things.

My daughter's father refused to answer any financial questions in order to drag out getting a court order for support. He never paid me a penny. Then, when they said they would just go off of the information I had provided, he began to cooperate, but also told the court he'd been giving me $500 per month. He couldn't prove it because he never paid it.

Anyway, just document all your conversations and make sure that YOU are above reproach in all dealings with your ex. It doesn't seem fair, but no court will allow you not to let the child see their parent because they aren't paying, especially if the orders are pending.
If you DO have a support order, then you can request the court to enforce it. But, you can't withhold visitation.

Best wishes.

YES, a lawyer could and would, tell him that. Play hardball with him-limit the time and location of visits. I've JUST been on the wrong end of an adoption dispute(I'M THE GRANDMOTHER).Lawyers will say or do anything, right or wrong. I swear the opposing lawyer in my case has sold his soul to the devil. I was even looking for a school to attend to become a paralegal-but I couldn't survive in that world of lies and deceit. IF he doesn't visit or pay, that's abandonment. Make it at least as hard on him, as he does on you. Tell him if he doesn't pay, he can't see her. But I hope you have a good attorney. It seems you can only lie, cheat, and screw him over "on the advice of counsel".

You might want to tell him to ask him if he was aware that if he is not paying now he will be liable for back pay to the day she was born? He may not be aware that your lawyer can ask for that. You don't say how old your child is but if she is old enough to miss him she needs to see him. But I agree with previous poster. You need your own lawyer and if you can't afford one go to public aid they will go after him for you if you apply for public aid.

Get a lawyer fast. You are in Louisiana and women are screwed in the courts there most of the time. I am from there and had to leave the state due to my husband trying to blow my car up with me and our 18 month old daughter in it and the judge told me to leave the state that was the only way I would be safe from my husband. I left while he was at work with nothing but her clothing and toys and had to establish residency in Texas to even get a divorce. He wanted her just to hurt me and the judge in Texas told him if he wanted to see her he would drive to Texas and stay in a motel and have supervised visits. He never showed up to see her and she is now 30 and is still waiting.

Unfortunately I think a lawyer might because whatever your husband pays you before the court order, he might have trouble getting credit for. For example, if he pays you $2,000 total before the court order and then claims that $2,000 as family support payments before there is a court order, but you don't claim receiving that $2,000, then he might have an IRS problem.

You'll probably get better advice, but I actually think a lawyer would/could say that. If he hasn't paying anything yet and you have a court date set, then he probably wants to wait and have the amount lowered b/c he's out of a job, or whatever the case may be. If he goes ahead and pays the amount that he is supposed to pay they might just assume that he can find the money and has it and expect him to continue paying that amount.

If you don't have a court date set or at least in the works then you can always have him arrested for not paying. I'm not suggesting you should do that necessarily or that you want to go down that road, just saying it's an option. I hope you work it though, I'm sure that money would come in handy!

As a father, he should WANT to provide financiall for his daughter. The attorney may want something filed in court confirming the amount and the frequency of payments so everything is documented. He could still be paying you during this time and keep track of those payments. Remind him that the judge may very well make him pay back payments so you hope he is saving the money that he will owe you or he'll be in contempt of court.

Believe it or not, some lawyers DO tell their clients just that, the thinking generally is that if they are seeking full custody or joint custody they may not be responsible for any monies after the final ruling of the court.
Different states have different laws regarding visitation call your local DA's office and see if someone there can give you an answer regarding what you HAVE to do vs. what you CAN do. You have the internet @ your fingertips you can look up laws there as well.
Do YOU not have an attorney to speak to? If not, you DO need your own! If you cannot afford one call the Bar Association in your state & try to find one who can help you, 'Pro Bono' (free) if you can't then ask them who can help you on a sliding scale.
I got #%@#$^% so bad when I went to court the first time years ago, you really MUST get good, solid legal advice when it comes to your child!