Worrying - Newberg,OR

I'm pregnant with #5 and my children are the same way. Especially my girls ages 9 and 14. I had a miscarriage a year ago so they constantly worry about me. Especially in the early stages of pregnancy. I just kept their minds at ease and talked about it when they brought it up. I've tried to stay cheerful and excited so they wouldn't worry so much. It has helped me too since I was worried also (still can be since I have 2 months to go). I also try to take their minds off of the worry by not only getting excited for the baby but also doing other fun things. Good luck to you and CONGRATULATIONS!

Would it be possible to take your son with you to one of your routine ob appointments and let him ask the Dr. questions himself? Or, maybe, let him go to the ultrasound appointment so that he can see that everything is fine.

Talk to your 7 yr.old son. Let him know that many moms' have babies and nothing has happened to them. Tell him to think about the good things, hes' going to have a little sister/brother that he can protect because he is the older one. Assure him that you love him and that you are happy that he is so concerned but tell him the Dr. has said that you are healthy and everything is fine. He doesn't have to worry as much. Let him know that he can enjoy being the little boy that he is, having friends etc. and you will always let him know how the baby is doing everytime you see the Dr. Hopefully this will settle him somewhat. Good luck!

What a sweet little guy! I think the more open you are with him the better. When I was little I worried a lot about money. My parents said, Let us deal with this, these are our worries. They tried to soothe me that way, but it didn't work for me; it actually made me more worried to have them brush it off when I knew there was a problem. What made me feel better was actually talking with them, when they told me that the bills were paid, and that they weren't worried. When I knew my parents weren't worried, that alleviated a lot of my own worry. I love Kate's idea of taking your son to talk to the doctor. Tell him you're following all of the doctor's advice, and that you're not worried about the baby at all. Focus on the positives of having the baby, and maybe let him do some baby shopping with you? I hope this helps! He sounds like a very sweet boy, you're a lucky mama. :)

I have a feeling this is in response to him no longer being the center of attention. He's trying to ensure his place as the top priority in your life, and therefore you need to help him understand that he will still be a priority. You can let him help you pick out clothing and toys for the baby to make him feel important, buy him a "soon to be a big brother" shirt to focus on the positives, maybe take him to a doctor visit so he can hear from the doctor that the baby is ok, and maybe even speak to the school counselor because they may be able to give you some ideas of ways to talk to him on his level. I went through the same thing with my 2 boys when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, and the school counselor was great. As long as you ensure he will have time with you and that you and the baby are fine he should become more like his old self in time. It's a large adjustment for all of you, so the best advice I can give is to just take some extra time with him and try to help him gt over his fears. It's possible he is sensing something from your subconscious and reacting to it. If you stay positive he will lsense it and adjust.

I agree with Kristin R. Take him to the Dr with you. Then he may be able to ask questions. Maybe even have him write some questions down before you go. My kids went with me a couple of time and they even tattled on me about drinking pop occationally. HA HA.

I think I would tell him that you are taking care of yourself and the baby and that your doctor is making sure the baby and you are safe. I would take the word "worry" out of the equation. He might be worried because you're saying that you're worrying. I know my daughter would be atuned to that language.

Give him concrete things he can do to help you like: asking if you need water, picking out clothes/blankets/etc for the baby, decorating the baby's room (even if this isn't something you really want to do), going for a walk with you, that kind of thing.

If he's a reader, get him some books on becoming a big brother. Some will be geared towards Pre-K aged kids, but there are some for older siblings too.

Make a plan to take a special vacation with him (the planning will help him stay occupied and excited) to celebrate the end of his only child status.

Trying to convince a child he should not feel what he's feeling doesn't work. The best it will do is keep the child from telling you his feelings, and that's not good.

Here's a book that you might find helpful: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. You can read part of this really practical guide to communicating with your kids here: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038081.... I think you'll be impressed with the possibilities.

Six and sevens are learning that they can not control the world. They feel out of control and this scares them. Your new pregnancy is a big worry for your son.

I would start by affirming his right to be worried. Then have him (with your and your husband's help) list all the things that he is worried about. Use some brightly colored pens. Occasionally gently challenge some of his worries but never put him down for them. When you are done, Mother, make a pledge, and sign at the bottom to never put yourself in those situations. Put it up on a wall somewhere where he can see it.

He will feel some control over things, and relax a bit. Not completely and you might have to go over this again. But this might help a bit.

Maybe it would help if he could go with you to your next OB appointment and hear from the doctor that you and the baby are fine. The doctor could tell him that it's OK for you to lift things, and that even if you fell, the baby would be OK, etc. Perhaps hearing it from the "expert" doctor would calm some of his worries. Good luck, and congratulations!

Awww. What a sensitive son you have! I will echo what Peg said, that instead of brushing off his fears, I think you will get better results if you listen to him. Let him tell you about his nightmares, ask him questions, validate his concerns and then remind him that you care about this baby as much as he does and you will do everything in your power to keep the two of you safe.

I'm wondering how cognizant he was about your 4 years of trying and trying. He may feel that this baby is SO very precious because you've tried TTC so hard for so long? If you think this is the case, assure him that although you had trouble getting a baby to grow, you are expecting a normal, routine pregnancy and delivery.....not sure i this is it or not....

Ohhhh. Poor little guy. My son was the same way. It may be hard for him to relax until after the baby is born. Be sure to tell him absolutely everyone he knows has a Mommy that went through childbirth. In fact everyone in the world! Tell him how rare it is for there to be problems, especially for you because you live near doctors, etc... Tell him how routine having a baby is, especially with doctors to help. Will you have a family member or friend that can come to the hospital and sit with him when you are in labor? If so, re-assure him that he can come. I took my son and he slept in the waiting room in two chairs when my niece was born.