So with my first son (5 years ago), I didn't seem to have a care in the world while I was pregnant. I never once second guessed anything (I also didn't know everything I know now...). This time around, I feel like I am constantly nervous about something. I will be 6 weeks on Tuesday, and everything about my pregnancy is similar to what I experienced with my son. I am very nauseous, my breasts are extremely sore, I pee constantly, and I am beginning to be more exhausted by the day. I know these are all good signs, but how did/do you mamas stay calm and relaxed and trust that everything is okay? I have had minimal cramping, and no spotting, and my first, and only, pregnancy was perfect in every way, shape and form, so I know that I am probably just being paranoid, but it took us almost a year to get to this point, and it just makes me worried.
Our current insurance would require me to pay completely out of pocket for a blood test, but the insurance we are getting in two weeks would cover all but $20, so I would prefer to not do any blood work quite yet. I feel so ridiculous even asking this, but after seeing so many women on here have miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies and chemical pregnancies, it's impossible to not let my brain go a little crazy...
Thanks for all your help!
M.
Thank you all so much! I am feeling better all ready! I think it is just the thought of having to start at square one again that makes me nervous. I am trying to give it to God, but sometimes that is easier said than done! I do consider myself blessed just to know that I could conceive a second time, and will maybe try and spend a few minutes a day doing something just for me to relax and release any stress I may have!
Thank you all! :)
I say relax and wait..unless you have reason to be concerned. Find positive stories to replace the sad stories......the anxiety isn't good for you or the baby :)
Congratulations!
Girl! You have to let it go. The worrying is worse for your baby than anything. I totally get where you are coming from, believe me, I am pregnant with my 4th baby at 40! I had a couple of weeks where I just felt overwhelmed with my age and the possibility of something going wrong with the baby. Ultimately, all you can do is not drink, not smoke, eat right and get rest. You have no control over that and worrying just makes it worse!
In short, miscarriages happen, you cannot do anything about it. Doing early blood tests, checking the heartbeat, all that stuff does nothing to prevent anything.
Just go with the flow and remember that you have all the right symptoms and doing all the right things. Everything will be fine!
Good luck to you and congrats on the newest!
relax - worrying makes everything worse no matter what it is. just think positive thoughts and take care of yourself. best of luck!
I'm pregnant with my 4th child now. My OB asked me point blank if I wanted any testing done. I said, "Sure, why not...it's good to be prepared." He then asked if I intended to terminate my pregnancy if any of the tests came out abnormal. I said I would keep my baby no matter what the tests revealed. He asked me if I would be willing to undergo an amnio if any tests were abnormal, again, I said, "No." With that information, my doctor suggested it would be a waste of money to do any testing at all. So I opted to not do any testing this time around. My other 3 children are as normal as can be. I am not worried. Don't do the tests if you do not intend to terminate your pregnancy. Save your money. I think our hormones cause us to think irrational thoughts but most likely your baby will be just fine and should anything go wrong, could you honestly say you would love him/her any less? Just a thought to ponder...
It's human to worry....but it's of no good right now, so try to lessen it by focusing on what is good right now...One thing I'm trying to realize myself is that we cannot control everything...so we need to just enjoy life for what it is. Enjoy this moment and do not let something that isn't even reality at the moment ruin this for you.....Many blessings to you and yours. Congrats on the pregnancy. :)
If you can afford it, I'd get a blood test to check your HCG numbers and then another one two days later to see if they're doubling. It's certainly not necessary but I think peace of mind is priceless during pregnancy. Also at about six weeks (give or take a day) they can detect the fetal heartbeat through a vaginal ultrasound. I would definitely schedule an appointment for that as soon as possible because once you see that beautiful heartbeat you will feel a huge weight off your shoulders!!! Obviously, anything can happen but you're not having any troublesome symptoms so I'm sure you and your little one will be fine. I was a lot like you in that every pregnancy made me more nervous than the one before it. I had every test / ultrasound done as soon as I possibly could and can't say enough for the world of good that peace of mind brought me. Of course, it wasn't cheap (insurance sucks!!!) but worth it!!! Good luck and congratulations!!!
M., I also had a perfect first pregnancy and worried with my second one. I worried when I spotted at 7 weeks. (Totally normal if you have Rh- blood--dr.'s didn't tell me that). I worried that my husband wouldn't be at the delivery. (He was stationed in Korea and I had returned to the states with our daughter to deliver). He was stateside for 19 hours when I delivered. I worried when she had thrush, a hemangioma, and cried in the carseat everywhere we went. I worried that she didn't eat as much as my older daughter... Then, she had sinus problems, and now at 6 has had tubes twice, adenoids out, and now a semi-invasive sinus surgery. My point is, you can worry or you can enjoy. I have had points of pure joy and points of pure terror... I never worried about the first one. I didn't listen to the horror stories. So, choose to relax and enjoy. Life will throw curveballs and it won't all be perfect. But, worrying will just make you crazy! So, enjoy!
you sound normal to me. unless theres blood dont worry. once your past 3 months chances of miscarriage are minimal.
The second pregnancy seems to do this! I'm pregnant for the second time, and I had those similar worries. I didn't truly relax until I hit the 12 week mark. I think we feel that way because now that we have a child, we know what we'd be losing if a miscarriage did occur. Just hang in there!
Hi M.,
What exactly are you worried about? Is it something that a test can do anything about? Or is it a 'universal pregnancy' sort of thing... that anything can happen?
During my pregnancy with my son, I had to make a conscious decision to not worry and enjoy my pregnancy. It worked so well that it wasn't until the 20 week ultrasound that worry actually set in, as the doctor began calling out "Brain. Looks great. Heart... I see all four chambers..." After that, though, I went back to "no worries, awesome baby growing inside me" until he started kicking me in sternum at 37 weeks. Then he was still awesome, but I was ready for him to come out!
I don't know if this helps, but I just had to discipline myself (not just pregnancy, but life in general) to stop worrying about things I had no control over. Sometimes, life is very disappointing, and I've suffered my share of disappointments. Overall, though, there is nothing that worrying will do, other than stress you out. There are those things we can worry about, and those we can take action on. My guess is that anything you could learn from blood tests is non-actionable information. (I've also learned this the hard way, so I'm not saying this casually.)
What *can* help you is to know that while we read/hear of miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy here on this site or otherwise, we have to remember that these stick in our minds because they brought to our attention. Contrast this to all the women who post here who had typical pregnancies, and are just asking questions about their children. Rarely does a person go online to say "Hey, you know, I just wanted to tell you all that my pregnancy, like so very many, is going just fine. Just wanted to reassure you all!" If you consider the ratio of questions asked about children who are born and living to the amount of women concerned about specific aspects of their pregnancy that are actually problematic (so many of these questions, I believe, could be answered by a phone call or doctors visit, the way we used to before forums), you'd find that there are a great deal of successful pregnancies happening.
I'm not wanting to diminish your concerns, and I say all this sincerely. I just want you to know that relaxing on this will help. You can also write down a list of worries and just burn it in the fireplace or let it go some other way. Shout them to the wind, and try not to let them get under your skin.
For what it's worth, it was a long time before I was successfully pregnant with my son. 5 years with my husband, in fact. But he's as perfectly-formed as can be. And I'm so glad I chose not to worry and to enjoy my pregnancy with him.
Best wishes.
H.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I just want to say that looking at anything on the internet, even a wonderful site like this, can lend to all kinds of fears welling up. Everyone's experiences are so varied and different and it's just hard to weed out what you should be concerned about and what you shouldn't.
The main thing is not to worry yourself needlessly about anything.
Worry is not good for you and it's especially not good for your baby.
This is just a personal opinion and no attack on anyone, but I always tend to worry about people who want to know almost the minute they conceive. There is nothing wrong with it, but it just makes an entire 40 weeks feel so long in my opinion. I knew I was pregnant with my first baby before I ever even took a test and those 40 weeks felt like 40 years.
You just need to try to relax and take the best care of yourself you possibly can. You can't ultimately control anythng else.
And please, don't let hearing what other people went through make you worry needlessly that it might happen to you.
You are on your own beautiful journey.
Concentrate on you now. You and your own blessed family.
I will keep you in my thoughts.
Best wishes!
Ha!
I was in nursing school when I was pregnant. LET me tell you... the LIST of things running through my head at all hours (and that I had to cram in... every tetrogen known to man, every birth defect known to man, all the possible reasons for miscarriage, all the bad outcomes, all the proceedures and meds, all the side effects from other conditions, all the x, x, z, a,b,c, I was being TESTED on while I while I was preggers)...
Ugh.
Stats didn't help. Even though millions and millions of women get pregnant and have a healthy baby (the vast majority)... the SHEER amount of info on everything that can go wrong... it makes one wonder how the species continues.
I was also high risk.. so that added some fun.
At some point I just realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do about any of it.
I would try to think positive by knowing that your first pregnancy was a success so why would this one be any different? I never worried unless something gave me reason to worry. I just trusted that things would be ok.
6 weeks along is not far, it is ok to wait the 2 weeks until you have insurance for the blood tests. all the things you mention are normal so relax. You mention so many women having miscarriages but so many have 2,3,4,5,6 children too. Just relax and don't give yourself any more stress than necessary. Congrats!
